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issue 54 . 12/01 . news of the realms and its people
--------------------------------------------------------------
Staff:
Maray, Indalecio, Kuah, Begaria, Naithalia, Ilsensine, Noplex,
Conran, Sarig, Myra, Jaryl, Shingo, Lieth, Vladith, Gabac,
Juliana, Tinani, Mauro, Kyrstal, Silverwind, Azkrakare
Guest Editor: Khaimran Immortal: Elisabet
--------------------------------------------------------------
Cry Of Despair - Contents
--------------------------------------------------------------
Desk of the Editor
Khaimran steps into the breach.
Kinux Interview
Maray interrogates the latest Neophyte.
Guild HQ Changes
Kyrstal marauds Darkhaven... and she wants answers!
Realms of Despair 101
A new article for the perplexed, courtesy of Juliana.
Dear Myra & Ilsensine
Not for the faint of heart.
Newbie's Guide to...
Conran presents his thoughts on PKilling.
Happy Birthday Ascendere!
Post-dementia Ilsensine?
Funny Bones
Quests!
News from the Elf Nation, Horrorshow + more!
Literary Corner
Vampires, lizards, and the ever unfortunate Pelmen.
Advertisement
-----------------------------------------------------------
Desk of the (Guest) Editor - by Khaimran
-----------------------------------------------------------
I think its quite a bit of praise in itself, when you look
at the fact that the Cry of Despair is still looking for a
full time editor, three issues after Kuah stepped down.
And now, perhaps, I can see why. More work goes into this
paper than I ever imagined, even while on the staff.
So, hail to the almighty Kuah *winks*. Having said that,
the paper has grown tremendously in the past few weeks.
I've lost count of how many new members we have, but you
can see for yourself by looking at the front cover. And it
shows in the whole paper, too. Part of the reason for the
huge workload involved in editing this issue, is the size
of it. Not only do we have two features this issue, its
also the longest and best issue that I've seen to date.
Well, I'll leave you to decide for yourself. Enjoy.
- Khaimran Quena Tar'Yenea
-----------------------------------------------------------
Kinux Interview - by Maray
-----------------------------------------------------------
Yep, they're multiplying like rabbits. Here's the latest
imm, Kinux. As always, one of our intrepid reporters was on
hand to badger the poor Neophyte asap! Take it away,
Maray... - Ed.
Maray> Alrightie then... How are you finding
immortality so far? I know it's only been a few days,
but...
Kinux grins.
Kinux> Hours more like :) So far, it's more then I
imagined.
Maray> How so?
Kinux> Incredible people, amazing new things to learn,
and many many notes to read :) I had a great rapport with
many imms while GM. When I imm'd though, I truly felt
welcomed by everyone.
Maray> How do you think being an immortal has changed
your view of the game?
Kinux> Well, time will certainly add to that answer. I
do find even now that I'm seeing things on a more broad
basis, not so tied to a particular guild, or channel. The
realms has an incredible depth of activities, all of which
I get to now be more in tune with.
Maray> Speaking of guilds, how has GoT reacted to your
imming?
Kinux> Very well. It's an excellent organization with
tremendous people. They were all a little stunned at first,
but quickly rallied around the other leaders with their
support. All were very happy for me :) Besides, the guild
bot Abelard really runs the place... If he's online.. the
world is good.
Kinux smiles happily.
Maray> How do you think being GM prepared you for all
that, if at all?
Kinux> I was fortunate to be in leadership in GoT for
around 20 months. Quite a while by guild standards. Being
GM allowed me to interact a great deal with all the other
guilds through TS, IGQC, and the like, but it also gave me
quite a few other tools. I have a great appreciation for
the new learner, as we got many newbie thieves. Being
GM is being able to balance many personalities to work
together for a common goal. The quests, run organization,
and the like also is directly translated into my future
jobs. Of course, there was also the copious notes I had to
write too :)
Maray> What do you hope to accomplish in your time as
an imm?'
Kinux> I hope to expand my knowledge of the realms. To
work towards carrying on the incredible work that the Imms
here do, through their quests, building and admin duties. I
hope to leave my mark, whatever that may be. The future
will tell... :)
Maray> Any changes you would like to see made?'
Kinux> Changes... Well, that's a tough question. In TS
we proposed many new changes, many of which we hoped to see
come up in the new port. We'll see what comes of that and
then perhaps I can answer that question better.
Maray> What did you consider before deciding to go
for imm-ship?
Kinux> I considered 3 main things. What would happen to
GoT if I left, ie. Was there leadership in place to do the
job? Could I do the job of immortal? Would I regret the
decision I have made? I talked to many Imms about their
experiences and it helped a lot.
Maray> Finally, anything you'd like to add? :)
Kinux> I'd like to say thanks to all those I've worked
with in the past through the various guilds that I've been
involved with. To the guild members of GoT who helped teach
me how to play the game years ago, and to the immortals of
the realms for believing I could make a difference and
bringing me on board. :)
So there you have it, ladies and gentleman, your newest
immortal: Kinux!
- Maray Fyremusik-Darkraven
-----------------------------------------------------------
Guild HQ Changes - by Kyrstal
-----------------------------------------------------------
Word on the street is that the guilds of Darkhaven are
getting a makeover. This reporter went to work to get the
scoop for our readers. I had the pleasure of speaking with
Ceirana, the advisor to the guilds, and here is what
she had to say. - Kyrstal Ravenyze
Kyrstal> Can you tell me a little about the changes
that the guilds are going through?
Ceirana> I think was about a year ago the guilds were
invited to redo their headquarters. Many were completely
rewritten while others opted to just change or add a few
things. There are no plans to move the guilds outside of
the town walls until such time that we can ensure they
will be protected from the evils that lie beyond Darkhaven.
Kyrstal> Are the guilds being allowed any additional
items or features?
Ceirana> Yes, for example... most guilds have sent
their guild chef off to cooking school this past year of
the Dragon, and these master chefs have collaborated in
creating some amazing delicacies.
Kyrstal> Can you tell us about the additional features
that the guilds were given?
Ceirana> Visil had been getting a tad stressed over the
extra duties he had repairing for all the guilds, so he
lined up some talented blacksmiths to ease the burden. Many
guilds were having difficulties recording, maintaining, and
sorting all their important information. So a way was
discovered to alleviate some of piles of paper left lying
about each guild. In addition, a special magic was woven
into the donation rooms of the guilds, that would provide a
safe way to store ethereal potions and the like.
Kyrstal> Will the current donation rooms save over to
the new donation rooms?
Ceirana> The magic has always been strong within the
donation rooms. The gods are benefic.
Kyrstal> And lastly, when is the projected
implementation date for the new guild headquarters?
Ceirana> When it has come to fruition.
After speaking with Ceirana, I hit the streets of Darkhaven
to pay a visit to the Guilds. I spoke with leaders or the
person in charge of the rebuilds. Here's what they had to
say.
Kyrstal> Is your guild getting any changes? If so is it
a complete rewrite or just a few changes?
Kellandra, GoC: Only thing kept the same might be a few
storekeeper names, everything else is a total rewrite.
Korith, GoD: We have kept to the theme of adding on the
additional rooms and keeping the main core of the guild
as it always has been. In this way we preserve memories and
the history of our guild.
Meade, GoM: Pretty much a complete rewrite.
Racin, GoR: We just requested a few changes, which as
far as I know have been approved.
Kinux, GoT: We are getting changes and an addition. We
chose to keep the main portion of the guild due to its
historical significance. We're quite a sentimental group.
Garrund, GoV: A complete rewrite. The guild will still
keeps it's ankh shape in the mansion, but the layout is
quite different.
Ilena, GoW: We made some changes.
Mecil, GoP: It's a complete re-write.
Destre, GoN: The basic layout remains the same.
Bravadan, GoA: The guild has a few little changes.
Kyrstal> Any hints as to what is new?
Kellandra, GoC: We have some serious fun with Gnomes
and a very weepy ghost to deal with in the new HQ.
Korith, GoD: Communing with the oak has been cleared
away, and more room created for us to enjoy nature more. A
friend has to come the guild, offering a home for our
animal friends as well.
Meade, GoM: Well, the general theme is a floating tower
above Darkhaven and we have a pet cat Chubby.
Racin, GoR: Well we made a few equipment and room
changes, I do not want to get into detail as only the GoR
leaders and the Imms have been told what they are at this
point. We took suggestions from our members but never
actually told them what all we did. We want them to enjoy
the chance to explore our new additions.
Kinux, GoT: It was rumored that a band of thieves one
day found a tunnel leading away from recall to a secret
spot outside of DH. It was thought to have been part of
Duke Luthers get away plan at one time.. but long
forgotten. We are getting a new repair mob, a grandson of
our founding member.
Garrund, GoV: We will have a blood fountain in the
recruit room, a potion container in donations, and a steam
room.. yes vampires need to relax too. We have taken steps
to ensure that our wallets are safe from the pick-pockets
that lurk on the steps of the mansion. We also have a
memorial for our fallen brother.
Ilena, GoW: We will have a new brewing room for the
guild and a portal room for the kinship, also a waiting
room for people or questors.
Mecil, GoP: We have built it as a stronghold with
various buildings connected by a courtyard that is our new
recall point. It will be fun with lots of spammy food and
maybe even a visitors area for the rest of Realms to
sample our fine ale and superb coffee. Mostly I have opted
for detail in descriptions, adding bits of guild history
and runs into statues and paintings, so that it gets a
feel that I believe castles should have.
Destre, GoN: The addition of the new poison fountain.
Ceirana is doing the coding for us and assuming it works,
it will poison you if you drink from it.
Bravadan, GoA: Not any secrets really, just things like
a new run board, run room, magic container, and changed the
repop message. The magic container will hold potions,
staffs or anything that casts magic in the donations room.
The run room will be a place that we can get together and
post notes about runs times and tricks on how to do them.
Kyrstal> Anything else you'd like to say for the Cry?
Korith, GoD: The main building of our new guildhall was
done by myself, Shingo, and Mikado. Many of our guild
members, contributed alot of time and fantastic ideas
towards our new guildhall as well. The new guildhall has
many new and fun things, but what those will be, the rest
of realms will have to wait and see.
Meade, GoM: Well, it was fun working on the new guild,
Formaki, Pamalia, Riley, Saraoreo, and Thalasian all did a
lot of work, and Ceirana, Edmond, and Hoerkin were very
helpful as well.
Racin, GoR: Just to thank Hoerkin, Edmond, and Ceirana
for putting up with all the changes and for getting the OK
to rework all the guild HQs.
Garrund, GoV: Thanks to all the immortals involved
that allowed and are making these changes possible.
Ilena, GoW: Well that I am pleased that we have had
the chance to make changes in the guild. Thanks to
Dargolith for all his work and others like Chantria,
Simone, Ilena, and Stevenson.
Mecil, GoP: You will have to wait for the port to
see the rest.
By: Kyrstal Ravenyze
-----------------------------------------------------------
Realms of Despair 101 - by Juliana
-----------------------------------------------------------
Realms of Despair 101 - Introduction
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
It's fascinating to watch how lessons are taught on RoD.
People learn what to do and what not to do by picking up
specifics. They go on a Froghemoth run. They run Father
Time. Run leaders show them how to get to that mob, and
what the precise killing strategy is. To stretch the
metaphor, they fish in front of the man and give the fish
to him. Over and over until, maybe, hopefully, one day, he
figures out how to make his own rod and fish for himself.
So I thought, why not cut to the chase and share the real
general strategies of playing Realms of Despair? I won't
teach you how to run seth or map the chaos maze (or
anything else specific), but in this column and future
articles, I'm going to write How-Tos about some of the
most popular RoD activities.
Armed with the basics, you can actually go out and
experiment and discover and learn for yourself. Through
your -own- effort. Appreciate the mobs and areas people
have built, instead of sitting back and waiting for someone
to write a walkthrough for you.
-Someone- had to figure out how to run a new mob before
info could be passed around, right? Why not -be- that
someone?
My Philosophy in Writing This Column
Absolutely no spoonfeeding. I might teach you running and
mapping theory, but when push comes to shove, you will have
to apply them in practice yourself and make your own
conclusions. I want to inspire a sense of exploration and
daring, rather than contribute to the apathetic expectation
that someone else must tell you the answer.
Comments are Welcome
Feel free to mudmail me. Praises will be read, flames
ignored, suggestions appreciated. :) Anything you think
would be a good topic for me to discuss?
Not-so-Standard Disclaimer
Most of what I plan to write is common sense that most
regular players have picked up already (but hopefully is
still useful to beginners). Lord knows I coulda used such a
summary sheet while a newbie. The rest is either gleaned
from the public smaug 1.4 code (which you can go scrutinize
too, btw) or based on personal experience.
In other words, I could be wrong! Always take what other
people say with a big grain of salt, and decide for
yourself what to believe.
RoD 101 - Mob Killing
Scenario 1: You're a newbietar. Your eq consists of 9
parts levelling eq and 1 part av eq from your guild's
donation. You want to run some mobs to equip yourself, but
you haven't the faintest idea which will smite you and
which are reasonable to attempt.
Scenario 2: You're a player with quite a few classes of
avatars. Especially the standard running classes like
thief, vampire, mage, warrior, cleric, etc. You want to run
a mob that's considered a step up in difficulty from what
you normally run. Just how do you go about having a
successful run?
Gathering Run Information
First things first, you need specific run information about
the mob. How to get to the mob and how to kill the mob.
What the mob doesn't like, and what the effective skills/
spells are. How to find this stuff out?
1) Ask a Trustworthy Friend
This is the easiest option. People in RoD are naturally a
little reticient about their hard earned secrets. You can't
spam the hell out of strangers and expect to be spoonfed
with freebies. A friend will probably share his run secrets
if he knows you're not going to broadcast them to all and
sundry. You want a friend who knows what he's doing, or
you'll be operating on bad run info, which is worse than
going in with no knowledge whatsoever. How to make friends?
Being nice, honest, ethical and honorable and joining an
organization might help. Hopefully you've made some before
you go asking them for run info, or you'll come off
sounding like a moocher.
2) Surf the Net, Look for Websites
Maybe you're the independent type. Maybe you think you're
going to stretch friendship more than a little by hounding
your associates for too much info. Since you are mudding,
you do have an internet connection. Run a google search and
see what pops up. Area directions are plentiful. Various
guilds and individuals have webpages that supply some
information on running simple mobs.
3) Firsthand Experience
This is, by nature, a little more advanced than the above
two options. This is the -real- method of how the
professionals figure out how to kill new mobs no one has
ever seen before. They walk up to the mob, hit the mob, and
watch how the battle goes. They figure out what works
through trial and error, and what to avoid doing. After
creating a running strategy, they test it out. If the mob
dies consistently, success! If not, revision time.
Figuring Out What Works
(And What Results in a Bloody Splotch That Used to be Your
Running Char)
Ask ten different RPers what they consider roleplay to be,
and you'll get ten different answers. Ask ten different
runners how they judge mobs, and you'll get ten different
answers too. Everyone develops their own personal style of
analyzing mobs. There are, however, some basic principles
that will make your life easier while you try things out
for yourself. Here are but a few of them:
1) A Good, Readable Prompt and Fprompt
If you can read your own prompt fast and easily, you'll be
able to figure out how much damage you're receiving, and
whether the mob is hurt, healed or not bothered at all by
your attacks.
Readable is going to differ tremendously from person to
person. About 9 in every 10 people loathe my prompt, but
it works for me. :) And that's the criteria to live by.
Hence, why I suggest anyone seriously playing this mud
should take time to read the helpfiles for pcolors and
prompt, and design your own according to the information
you feel you're going to need. Prompt preferences differ,
but if you're going to be trying out mobs, you'll need at
the very very least Current HP, Max HP, and the Current
Health of Opponent. I heartily recommend more, though.
Current HP is obvious, you need to know when you're about
to expire and when you're only being scratched. Some people
go without Max HP...since the starting prompts don't
include it. *Beep* Wrong idea. When being intensely pounded
on, the chances of you remembering how many heals to quaff
to reach your max hp are very slim. It'll slow you down,
even if you manage it. It's also clearer to think in terms
of proportions. Are you only half or two-thirds hurt at
500hp?
Current Opponent Health in your fprompt is a godsend. You
no longer have to glance/look at the mob to check. You can
keep track of the rate of healing and damage the mob is
taking as the rounds go by.
2) Always Be Praised or Higher in Favor
Shit happens. Your test goes awry. You die accidentally,
none of your friends are around to help you kill the aggro
mob looming over your dead body. Maybe they don't know how
to. Everyone on public channels is being really cruel and
won't help you CR. Maybe they don't know how to either.
What you previously thought was a non-aggro mob can't stand
the sight of you walking back in the room, even past
quitting and relogging. No immortals are online, or you
don't want to pay for an imm CR. Well, that's what
supplicate corpse is for. A minimum level of praised is
needed.
As an addenum to this, if you're testing out high
difficulty mobs, check beforehand to make sure the room
isn't no-supp. Common gossip will suggest the likely
no-supp areas/rooms. Personally making sure would be to try
out supp recall in the actual room, and hope you don't see
"You have been forsaken!". You don't want to be taken aback
when you see the no-supp message, "The image of your corpse
appears, but suddenly wavers away."
If there's a likelihood of it being a no-supp room, common
sense suggests you shouldn't be wearing your best eq to
test it out. You might not be able to strip naked and last
long enough against the mob to try, but use eq you can
afford to lose.
3) Sanc is for Wussies!
But you'll be a living wussy. Always sanc. This is the
common refrain of pkillers, and it applies when you're just
about to fight mobs also. Sanc cuts all damage in half,
even the breaths and sneaky mpdamages. It keeps your
equipment from breaking just that little bit longer. When
testing a mob whose capabilities you don't know, you want
all the advantages you can get.
4) Use a Disposable Weapon
A good number of mobs are programmed to disarm you and do
fairly innovative (and nasty) things to your weapons. When
going up against an unknown mob, it's sensible to use a
weapon you can afford to lose, while you determine if the
mob is immune to any particular weapon type, immune circle/
grasp/offensive spells or if it requires nonmagic/magic
weapons to be killed.
5) Try Out Different Weapons
If one type of weapon -always- and -consistently- misses
the mob, chances are good it's probably immune to that
weapon type. As of smaug 1.4, mobs can be be immune to
blunt, pierce and slash. Slash also includes slices, whips
and claws. Pierce includes stabs, bites, arrows, bolts and
darts. Blunt includes pounds, crushes, stones and peas.
However, the mob is more likely to be immune magic/
nonmagic. If identifying the mob produces "That appears to
have no effect", then it is immune magic, and thus, magic
weapons. Another way to tell is to swap magic/nonmagic
weapons of the same type in combat when one keeps missing
in both regular hitting and circling. Practice makes
perfect when eyeballing a mob and deciding what it's
immune to. So go practise! That one mob you're always
dying to try is waiting.
That's all we have for now. :) In next month's issue, more
tips on how to understand and try out an unknown mob. We'll
go in depth into the various mage and cleric protection
spells that make your mobkilling life easier, as well as
some commonly used skills.
Ever wonder what helps a stun land successfully? Find out
next month, or better yet, get inspired to find out for
yourself first!
- Juliana Shadowfyre
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Myra & Ilsensine - Nuts
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Myra and Ilsensine,
I have a wee bit of a dilemma. I haven't had an official
Bris on the mud yet, and I need two things. First off,
I need someone to perform my bris. Who this is doesn't
matter, as long as they certified. Secondly, I need to know
how to have a ceremony of this kind without major
embarassment when you are pushing 1300 years old. My skin
is flaky, the fore part of it especially. Any help is
appreciated.
-Nuts
Dear Nuts,
Why you are considering this NOW is beyond me, but I will
try my best to offer good advice. Noting that you used the
phrase "as long as they are certified," I can only conclude
that you are not completely familiar with this procedure in
its original celebration. As a quick history lesson, a
Bris is generally a Jewish celebration and is conducted by
a "Moile." This person may or may not be a Rabbi, but is
most certainly "certified." Now given the religious
climate of Realms, I would say that your chances of finding
anyone Jewish, much less a Moile would be slim to none.
Having said that, I'm afraid I must now address the latter
half of your dilemma. As a 1300 year old pixie I would
think that your flaky problems would be the least of your
worries. And, thus, I think I will leave my comments at
that. In conclusion, my advice is to dis the Bris and find
a better pasttime. Besides, I hear the ladies prefer
"uncut".
-M
Dear Nuts,
Or should that be... Dear God??! What on earth do you think
you are playing at sending such pointless pifflery to me?
As always... I shall respond to the undeserving nonsense
that piles through my little letter box.
I shall answer this with an apt saying I heard once on my
travels...
"A man who must ask where the bathroom is, deserves wet
pants."
-I
Dear Myra and Ilsensine,
I am hoping you can help keep from being utterly lonely
this holiday season. You see, I am always the "other
woman" and well, I'm tired of being the one left out.
While my "men" are off with their mudwives and mudchildren,
I am left all alone. I've spent too many Christmas Eves
alone and I need advice.
-Naughty Elf
Dear Naughty Elf,
I think that you're half way to recovery. That is to say
you've already admitted that you have a problem. Now you
just need to do something about it. Find a nice boy to
settle down with...unless of course you love the thrill of
the affair....In which case, I think you have other issues
that you need to deal with. There are plenty of single men
that you can talk to and perhaps something good will come
of it.
-M
Dear Naughty Elf,
Naughty elf? Hmm being a sexual substitute doesn't sound
terribly naughty to me... stupid perhaps... oh well I shall
take your word for it. Hmm.. what can I say that will help
you? Murder? Selective male mutilation? I am tempted to
consider your case terminal, but in my vast and unrelenting
compassion and wisdom I shall offer you this snippet of
advice : -
"A man who strays with other mutts,
Will offer those lies and those buts,
So tie him up right,
And make sure it's tight,
As the key to his heart is his nuts."
Enjoy... Remember men - pain is temporary, emasculation
forever.
-I
-----------------------------------------------------------
A Newbie's Guide to... Player Killing - by Conran
-----------------------------------------------------------
You've seen them around - They have colourful tags before
their names like (Anarchy) (type 'clans' to see a full
list) or (Unclanned) and they run around killing each
other. Thats right, they're player killers.
Since this is a newbies guide, let me start off by saying
this: DO NOT make your first character a player killer.
I'd suggest you make a peaceful avatar before trying to
take on the PK challenge. It's not quite as easy as it
looks. Before you decide to make a PKiller, make sure you
know the game well.
As the name suggests, a PK player will kill (or be killed)
by other PK players. You have to be on your toes at all
times, and always be spelled up. Fights are usually over
fairly quickly, and equipment and armour will only do so
much... More often than not, it all comes down to who has
the most heals.
Like peacefuls, there are organisations that PKillers can
join. They're called clans. Type 'help deadlyclans' for
more information on their role.
There are a few laws that a deadly needs to be aware of.
Before chosing to create a deadly player, read 'laws
pkill' and 'laws assist'. To summarise the main points
you should be aware of, deadlies may not multiplay, receive
any help from non-deadlies (including healing, portals,
curing curses etc). Should you die, an Immortal will NEVER
help you retreive your corpse.
You can still be legally killed when you're AFK or
Link-Dead, although most deadly players are after a fair
fight, and should leave you alone, unless you've managed to
annoy them beforehand.
Of course, once you understand these rules, and have the
experience to give PKilling a try, it can be a lot of fun.
There are a number of different ways that the game will
help you become a deadly. Deadlies receive experience much
faster, so they're much easier to level. They have the
ability to go config +noexp, meaning if you reach level 20,
and want to stay at level 20 regardless of how many people
you kill, you can do so.
A non-deadly may chose to become deadly, however once the
choice is made, theres no turning back - A deadly MAY NOT
become peaceful ever again.
Along with the easier experience, the game gives you 2
hours in which you are not able to be killed. You can use
that time to level your character a great deal. You must
be level 5, and at least 18 years of age, before you can
engage in a fight. To keep things fair, you can only kill
a player within 5 levels of your own. To stop you from
being killed repeatedly, you cannot be killed again for 5
minutes after being killed.
Be warned, however, once you've been killed, the player
responsible for killing you is allowed to loot you, or
take some of your equipment from your corpse.
So remember, playing as a deadly can be a lot of fun, but
can also be extremely frustrating if you don't have a good
working knowledge of the game before deciding to become a
PKiller. Should you decide to take on the challenge, try
reading a couple of the following sites for some more
detailed instructions on exactly how to pkill:
http://home.mmcable.com/iliana/frames.htm
http://www.geocities.com/rodespair2001/Logs/howtopk.html
So, my last words to you: Good luck, you'll probably need it!
- By Conran
-----------------------------------------------------------
Happy Birthday Ascendere! - by Conran
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Order of Ascendere celebrated its third anniversary
last month. The month marked the third year since a number
of people departed their home at Arcanes in the hope of
finding a new challenge. This challenge was realised with
the creation of a new, ethereal order known as Ascendere.
Celebrations were held over a weekend, and included quests,
runs and a lot of empty bottles of ale.
Then, nearing the end of the first day of the celebrations,
an announcement by the Leader, Covellia, was made that both
her and Nitsuj, the Number One, would be retiring and
handing over leadership of the Order to Aylssa, at the time
the Number Two of the order. Kaiowas, the Blademaster,
would become the new Number One, and Syera, ex-Arbiter and
Ascendere Ancient was to take up the position of Number
Two. Congratulations and best wishes to all of the people
above who are about to embark on a new journey full of
challenges and, hopefully, some level of enjoyment.
A particular expression of gratitude must be given to
Covellia, the founding leader of Ascendere all those years
ago. This party, for her, also marked the sixth year of
playing on Realms. Of this time, a little over four and a
half years was spent in some form of leadership position
between Arcanes and the move to Ascendere. Without her
input and dedication, the order would not be what it is
today.
- By Conran
-----------------------------------------------------------
Ilsensine's Thoughts - by... uh.. Ilsensine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Perhaps it is a sign of old age, of senile (or pre-senile)
dementia... but of late I find myself having thoughts. Odd
perhaps, but in this forum I shall share these musings with
you...
1) You are playing a game, this is a fact. However,
consider other games you may play... would you think it
acceptable to hit someone else in a game of chess? Or to
throw their pieces to the ground?
2) You have to power to view a situation from your own
angle. You also have the right to consider your own
conclusions as correct. However, you do not have the
right to impose that view upon another or to call down
the view of another player as being incorrect.
3) Honesty is not a vice to cause harm. It should be
tempered with realism and compassion as all other things
must.
4) Fun is not at the expense of others.
5) Weigh your words before you use them. A heavy word
hurts as much as a heavy sword.
These are but thoughts. Use them however you will, but
think on them before you choose.
- By Ilsensine
-----------------------------------------------------------
Funny Bones! - Shargate Makes a Boobie, from Ilsensine
-----------------------------------------------------------
Oddly, this really did happen... Baka, Tiki, Laurel and I
had just had a hug spam fest at NC HQ....
Ilsensine says 'All that hugging... I need to readjust :P'
Ilsensine stops using a sapphire encrusted bodice of sheer
glass.
Ilsensine fits a sapphire encrusted bodice of sheer glass
on her body.
Shargate shouts 'Boobies!'
Laurel rolls on the floor laughing hysterically.
Laurel points at Ilsensine accusingly.
Laurel says to Ilsensine, 'he was talking about YOURS'
Ilsensine : Shargate shouts 'Boobies!' (ok.. am I being
watched by Shargate?) :(
Tiki : He's on to you.
Ilsensine : I didn't even have this chan on :P What were
you guys dooooing? :P
Shargate : laugh, that was honestly a coincidince, if it
lined up like that :P
Pheayre : blame shargate.
Llam a! You've been struck by a smooth llama.
Kyrstal Ravenyze: 7/5th of peeps dont understand fractions.
Goomra: When in doubt, use a lighter [NC:ON]
Qizatch When with Goomra, don't doubt! [NC:on]
Maray: 'Will my rhetorical questions never end?' [IT]
Meade LifeBringer the Beer Hunting Reprobate Muggle.
Yndrelliar has the most ugly name ever. But he's kind of
cute.
Dinin Bregan D'aerthe hates dem stinkin Muggles.
Garrund Ravenyze says,"Never moon a werewolf"
Krall Rice crispies with a snap, crackel, BOOM!
Hobinay If I'm Hobbled, Do I Gibble?
Maray: "Get confident, stupid!" [IT]
Serianna Nvwls-Etheros Pixie action figure princess SHE.
Cobblepot waddles you into Oblivion.
Tarai wonders if she can set her laser printer on stun...
Ygg MacCleod has a stuttering problem, and is.. is....
The Official Cry of Despair Guide to Bad Things To Sit On.
DISCLAIMER: There are more things than these that are bad
to sit on. If you suspect that the thing you are sitting on
is a Bad Thing To Sit On, get up immediately and contact
the nearest Bad Things To Sit On Control Center. This has
been a public service announcement from the Cry of Despair.
A rugby field.
The ceiling.
A public outhouse.
Kali's lap. (Had a run-in with Moonbeam, Vladith? -Ed.)
A sword.
Zeus.
A sword that happens to be resting in Zeus's lap.
Herne's chair (If you are sitting on this, you may be
Herne. Seek help)
Vital Information For Your Everyday Adventuring
It's unlucky to have high amounts of luck.
The worst punishment ever contrived is being turned into a
pixie who can't turn off racetalk.
When a mage midases an item, it goes to a special place in
Shadowport.
If Darrek is grinning, don't worry - he's probably just been
drinking.
If Tiki is grinning, don't worry - she's probably just been
frollicking (or something cute like that).
If Kali is grinning, you can't log off fast enough.
When in doubt - identify!
Underneath that mysterious, scary exterior, Taboo is really
just a mysterious, scary guy.
Don't dismiss paranoia so easily - if you're deadly,
everyone IS out to get you.
- By Vladith
No help on 'useless' found.
Similar Help Files:
AGGRESSIVE
AID
MAIDENSTONE MS MAIDENS
'POSSESS'
SPELLS
STYLE STYLES
Hello and welcome to Ilsensine's 101 reasons...
Enter the world where the inexplicable is revealed in front
of your very eyes.
Step forth and embrace the true secrets of life!
This month.... reason number one
1) Why there is no milk left in the fridge.
- Anthrax.
- submitted by Ilsensine
The Sounds of Mortals - Sung to the tune of "Sounds of
Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle. Adapted for RoD by
Cresis.
Hello Darkness my old friend
I've come to run with you again
Because your equipment I am needing
Because you're greedy and you are keeping
And the scroll of the battle that crossed the computer
screen
Makes me scream
It's the sounds of mortals
And in new areas I explored alone
Through mazes and DT's I would moan
Under the eyes of watchful Imms
I would suffer through their area whims
And treading unprepared would lead me to a bright light
I'd cry tonight
And I'd whine; the sound of mortals
And the drunkards bowed and prayed
To the Beer God they had made
Laughed at sexist dogma that he flaunted
And the women were undaunted
Women rebeled when they were sent to the kitchen
He doesn't listen
To the irate sounds of mortals
Across the yellow spam I saw
The people would laugh and they'd guffaw
And morts would argue without sense
Some of them were really quite dense
People typing jeers that Imms didn't want to hear
And Immortals cheer
At no sounds from mortals
These are excerpts from a note quest in the GoV, the winner
in this Case Razorth gave very creative and funny answers,
here are some Of them. Enjoy,
- Tinani
Quest Master> What animal would love to be purple and why?
Razorth> Elephants would love to be purple so they hide
in Smartie containers better.
Quest Master> The footprints on the ceiling were made by
what?
Razorth> The footprints on the ceiling were made by The
Drunken Invisible Psychic Flying Monkeys who had their way
they the ink bottles.
Quest Master> Why do vampires sleep in coffins and not
monkey skin beds?
Razorth> Vamps sleep in coffins and not monkey skin beds
because vamps have bad backs and need the tough wood
surface to straighten their spines. Plus most monkey skin
beds are only made with the butt of the monkey and that
gets down-right smelly.
Quest Master> Bunnies should be used for what in the
guild?
Razorth> Bunnies should be used as our secret weapon
against the Guild of Druids. We could hypnotize them, and
then fill every orifice with explosives and send them over
to the GoD tree house. Then while all the druids are
petting the bunnies, *BOOM* , GoV with be triumphant!!
*Evil Laugh*
-----------------------------------------------------------
Quest News + Reports - Elf Nation Quest, by Begaria
-----------------------------------------------------------
Elf Nation Quest Report
On November 10th the Elven Nation had a nation quest that
excellently turned out. Racin, Guild of Rangers Leader,
planned out the quest and was in charge of it. Kahlynn,
Queen of the Elves, helped out by collecting fees for
entrance and helped run for the prizes. The Quest was a
Poker Quest. You get a clue to where the dealer is, find
the dealer, get a card and at the end of the quest, best
hand wins.
So here's a summary of how it played out:
Each questor would have to race to the dealer. Each dealer
is placed in a specific place with clues to where they are.
Each dealer is on for only 30 mins. When the questor got
to the dealer they get a card. The more dealers you get
to, the more cards you get. At the end of the quest, all
hands are shown and the highest hand wins.
The results of the quest:
1st Place - Claiming the AV Cleric (First Place Prize),
Meari is Khaimran, winning with 3 of a kind.
2nd Place - Tornado won by Dee.
3rd Place - Devout Scales of Alpha and Omega won by
Zyrzec.
4th Place - An unmade Dragon Claw of Legend won by
Elaeny
Dee, Zyrzec, and Elaeny all had a pair so it was a close
quest. Jauxer, Jannzoni, and Elyse also collected a few
cards and claimed prizes. Kahlynn, Timmis, Vernese, and
Asurmen made the effort and will also receive a prize.
There are 35 items left over for the next Elven Nation
Quest in 3 months. A little interview on Racin for the
quest...
Begaria> How did you feel the way the quest went?
Racin> It went very well, only one person got lost in RoW
but she escaped without harm ;)
Begaria> Are nation quests something you'd like to take
charge of again?'
Racin> I have always enjoyed making quests (probably
because I like exploring to find new hiding places), so I
would like to make a few more for the nation if enough
interest is shown.
Begaria> How good was the participation for the quest?
Racin> 21 elves qualified this time, and 13 actually
participated, which was pretty good for the 1st attempt.
Some informed me they would miss the quest due to RL stuff
ahead of time, but you can never find a time good for
everyone.
Begaria> I see. Who donated the prizes?
Racin> The prizes other than the cleric were collected
on the elf nation runs led by Kahlynn and I. I leveled the
cleric before hand and donated it.
Begaria> Do you know anything about the next quest and
would you be willing to share a little information about
it?
Racin laughs out loud!
Racin> I just finished this one, I have not started the
planning of the next one yet, ask again in a couple months.
Begaria> Now for my favourite part of interviews, a
little advice from the interviewee. Any advice or messages
you'd like to send out to RoD?
Racin> When you are bored go exploring, especially low
level areas and new areas, you never know where someone
like me will hide something you need for a quest.
Racin grins so evilly that everyone's alignment drops to
-1000.
Thank you for Racin for his time and information about all
this. Congratulations to all questors. For all you Elves
out there, participate in the next quest, go on a few
nation runs, and score big with some items!
- By Begaria
@@@ @@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@@
@@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@@ @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@@ @@@
@!!!@@@! !!! !!@ @@@!!!! !!!!!@@ @@@ !!! !!!!!@@
!!: !!! !!: !!! !!: :!! !!: :!! !!: !!! !!: :!!
: : : : :. : : : : : : : : :. : : : :
|||||||
;;;||||||||||||
;;;||||||||||
;;;|||||
;|||| ,,,,,,
|||| ,||'' ''||,
,,|||||||,,, |||' |||
,||'' '|||,,, ,,||' && |
|| && '''.'' |
|||, ,,,,,,,'||','||',,,,,,, ,|||
,||||||||||||||| || ,|, |||||||||||||||||||
;|||||||||| ,,|||||| ||||| '''||||||||||
||||| |||||||||| ||||||| | ''||||
' || ,|||||||||| ' |||||| |||
,||''',,, ;'' ;', ,,, | |
,, |' ;| ' ; '| |' ,,
;| ' ' ;|
@@@@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@
!@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@! @@!
!@@!! @@@!!!@! !!@ !!@ @@! !!@ @!@
!:! !!: !!! !!: !!! !: !!: !!
::.: : : : : : :. : ::.: :::
Finals are to be held on December 5th 2001!
Using only the ten letters below, pack the grid on the next
page with words. You may use any letter as often as you
like, but don't use the same word twice in the grid. This
includes singular and plural versions of the same word,
inflected versions of a word (such as LOVE and LOVED), and
varient spellings of the same word. Use any word in a
standard dictionary, including slang, but don't use
capitalized or foreign words, contractions, abbreviations,
acronyms, prefixes, or suffixes. After completing the grid,
calculate your score by adding up each across row.
NOTE: Final decisions on the eligibility of a word are left
up to the judges.
------------------------------------
| R T M N E S I A L G |
| 3 2 5 1 3 4 2 5 4 1 |
------------------------------------
___
Row 01 ___|___|___
Row 02 |___|___|___|
Row 03 ___ ___________|___|___________ ___
Row 04 |___| |___|___|___|___|___|___|___| |___|
Row 05 |___|_______|___| |___| |___|_______|___|
Row 06 |___|___|___|___| |___|___|___|___|
Row 07 ___|___|_______ _______|___|___
Row 08 |___|___|___|___| |___|___|___|___|
Row 09 ___ |___| |___| ___
Row 10 |___|___|___| |___|___|___|
Row 11 ___ |___|___|___| |___|___|___| ___
Row 12 |___|_______|___| |___| |___| |___|_______|___|
Row 13 |___|___|___|___| |___|___|___|___|
Row 14 |___|_______________ _______________|___|
Row 15 |___|___|___|___|___| |___|___|___|___|___|
Row 16 |___| ___|___|___________|___|___ |___|
Row 17 |___| |___|___|___|___|___|___|___| |___|
-----------------------------------------------------------
Literary Corner - That Wacky Pelmen, by Begaria
-----------------------------------------------------------
The rustling of the leaves from the breeze blows through
the Vallenwood and surrounding trees. An owl calls out
it's sounds, "Hoot, hoot, damn this coffee is hot, hoot."
Looking up in strange puzzlement, Racin wonders what type
of mage is out stalking the streets of Darkhaven playing
with the ventriliquate spell. Well, he though, if I see a
robed figure with a steaming mug in its hands, then I know
who it is.
Standing up on the branch he was sitting on, Racin
stretched luxirously with a great deal of cracks and pops
following thereafter, and started down the branch he was
on. Down and down he climbed until his feet touched the
floor of the Guild of Ranger's recall. Racin liked
climbing to the top of the tree to watch the stars overhead
when it's nice out. When the breeze brushes past him with
her ever so soft and gentle touch of love, Racin swoons in
delight. It helps him to go up there to clear his mind
from the responsibility of being the Guildmaster of the
Guild of Rangers. Well, thought Racin, time to make the
rounds around the guild and see what's up. And he started
off to the training grounds of the Guild of Rangers.
Walking through a natural doorway and stepping on to the
carpeted and matted area of the training grounds, Racin
stopped and looked around to see the young guilded Rangers
working hard. He spotted one Ranger in particular and went
over to talk.
Racin says, 'Hey Merf, how's it going?'
Merf says, 'Pretty good, just making sure these younguns
know how to handle there weapons and such. NO KIRBY,
THAT'S A BAD KIRBY! Lowbies these days....'
Racin says, "Any trouble going on?" Merf says, "Nope,
nothing I've heard has been happening. FOR THE LAST TIME
KIRBY, QUIT SUCKING IN YOUR OPPONENTS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO HIT THEM WITH YOUR WEAPON NOT EAT THEM!"
<('.')> Kirby apologizes
Merf says, "That's better!"
Racin says his goodbyes to Merf and Kirby and leaves the
training grounds. Meanwhile, a black figure slips from the
shadows from behind Merf.
Merf says, 'Man these youngens are too much for me...I need
a banana.'
A banana pops down in front Merf's eyes. Merf squeals in
sudden delight and tries to take the banana. As soon as
Merf's hands touched the banana Kirby opens his mouth up
and starts sucking up the banana. Kirby likes bananas, and
clouds, and monsters, and berries, and tomatoes, and
anything he can get his lips around. Merf struggles hard
against the sucking attack but it doesn't work too well, as
he slipped on the discarded banana and he flew right into
Kirby's mouth. Well, nice knowing ya Merf.
Racin had just finished surveying the donation room and now
he told himself that it was time to hit his office and do
some paperwork. So he made his way to his office and went
inside. He plopped himself down into his chair and looked
around. There was no paperwork.
Sighing with relief, Racin leaned back in his chair and
closed his eyes. On and on and on and on he slept and
dreamed of warm breezes flowing through his hair and the
gentle sound of brushing leaves in the wind. Finally he
opened his eyes and all he saw was pure white. His office
was literally covered with man-high piled up papers. Racin
stared in disbelief. He looked around wildly and his eyes
settled on a black covered figure.
Racin says, 'What the...?! How'd you do this?'
The black robed figure says, "Well...you see....ahh....
ahhh...CHOO!"
And at that sneeze, all the papers came tumbling down on
top of Racin, knocking him out with a multitude of
papercuts. The figure shrugged and threw off his cape and
mask. It was Pelmen. Grinning that evil grin of his, he
quietly left Racin's office and was immediately sucked up
Kirby who gone off from the training room in search for
something to eat. Patting his fat belly, Kirby waddled
over to the edge of the Vallenwood and tried to fly down.
However, being fat and trying to fly doesn't work well with
gravity and so Kirby fell 30 metres to his death on the
ground below the tree. Meanwhile, some mages were carrying
some heavy things back from an expedition. There was one
lagging behind since his was a heavy load, he lost his grip
and the 30 pound metallic thing fell straight down. Back
at Kirby's carcass, Racin had just climbed out of Kirby's
mouth when the 30 pound metallic thing struck him full on
the head, flattening and killing him instantly. Pelmen
also climbed out of Kirby's carcass and started wiping off
all the saliva and excess material that had been in Kirby's
stomach. He glanced at the carcass of Kirby and smiled his
little evil smile. He glanced at the flatened shape of
Racin and burst out into maniacal laughter. He stood there
laughing for a good ten minutes and couldn't stop laughing.
Thoric sees this evil person laughing it up over the death
of someone and decides to punish this evil cretin. Out of
nowhere came this MOOOOOOOOOING that MOOOOOVING quite fast
to the ground and with pinpoint accuracy towards Pelmen's
head. Pelmen stopped laughing and was just merely
chuckling when he noticed his shadow getting bigger.
Wondering what's happening he starts looking around and
finally looks straight up and as his mouth falls down, he
stared in horror as his eyes filled up with nothing but a
cow's body heading towards him. Not being able to move,
Pelmen is struck by this cow that had been falling for some
time and is pushed down into the Earth and straight to the
place where Hell is. "This isn't so bad." said Pelmen as he
looked around Hell.
"Peanut butter is good. Peanut butter is good. Peanut
butter is good." said a voice in Pelmen's mind and it kept
saying that over and over until Pelmen couldn't take it
anymore and fell unconcious. Out of nowhere a cow comes
from the sky and strikes Pelmen again, this time, ending
his existence.
By: Begaria Minal (A person who has no hard feelings
towards Pelmen)
DISCLAIMER: The Cry accepts no liability for loss of sleep,
sanity, or otherwise, caused by the reading of this
article. - Ed.
Hiya's, here's a poem of mine I'd thought I'd submit...
- Foamfoller
In times gone past, a man may slay, another in righteous
duel
and a fair maidens heart could be won, in bitter and bloody
rescue.
as i wait at dreary stop, mind at journey's end,
I dwell on what has been before, and what is today,
wishing for a marraige of the two, and a dragon or two to
slay.
Here's another :)
I gaze upon a lizard, a fire breathing gecko,
I grovel before its majesticy, a seventh of a inch high.
Oh great reptilian monolith, grant me a boon,
cast upon my shadow, a cantrip of travel,
set my dreams free.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Blight of the Earth the Vampire's Chant *
* *
* Fog of death descend on we, power magic's one, two, three. *
* Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air, *
* Nothing can protect'eth thee. *
* Time now comes the fate of man *
* Nothing stops the blackened hand. *
* *
* Rise from death ye scattered bone *
* and blight the human race that's known *
* Invoke your power this planet, rape *
* From Hades grasp you doth escape. *
* Undead minions in strength you've grown, *
* Find your prey, let evil roam. *
* *
* Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air, *
* Nothing can protect'eth thee. *
* Time now comes the fate of man *
* Nothing stops the blackened hand. *
* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *(1/3)* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* *
* Time that Once went round, *
* break away and not be found. *
* All ye babes to gray white hair, *
* May wrinkles form from here to there. *
* Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. *
* Your cities crumble, your weapons rust. *
* *
* Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air, *
* Nothing can protect'eth thee. *
* Time now comes the fate of man *
* Nothing stops the blackened hand. *
* *
* Love to hate, make hate remain *
* forever blackened the hearts are stained. *
* The man the wife they fight they hate *
* their peace be ruined, behold your fate. *
* May peace become like distant dream, *
* Be not realized, this be my scheme. *
* Peace to war the mortals deem, *
* The battle cries are let scream. *
* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *(2/3)* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* *
* Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air, *
* Nothing can protect'eth thee. *
* Time now comes the fate of man *
* Nothing stops the blackened hand. *
* *
* This spell complete the time now come, *
* we disappear our spirits run *
* The light be gone, the sun not shine *
* Give us a break its hard to rhyme *
* The fog of death rise up high *
* spread across, deliver this cry. *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* -Tinani Blood'Drake *
* *
* *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *(3/3)* *
-----------------------------------------------------------
Advertisement - The Order of Baali
-----------------------------------------------------------
Introduccion di Baali
Deep within the recesses of a scarred imagination, we come.
Feasting on the living, diablierizing the unliving, we
thrive. We multiply. The shadows that shift in the corner
of your eye, the bloodcurdling scream of terror heard
shrieking in the night, the dark whispers of madness and
pain of worlds beyond measure. We are the ultimate
expression of beauty, of power, of death. Fear us, for the
Dark Gods, they are coming. A new order will begin in the
cosmos, one of joy and misery, pain and pleasure, blood and
death. We are forever, the unholy fires that burn eternal,
scarring your soul, leaving our mark of corruption, leading
you to the true path of power, join our sacrifice, and let
Ba'al reign supreme again.
- Submitted by Kador, on behalf of the Order of Baali...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Realms of Despair
Wizlock 
Down