______ ___ | ____
| |.----..--.--. .-----..' _| -O- (____) |
| ---|| _|| | | | _ || _| | /____\ -O-
|______||__| |___ | |_____||__| |___.---.---. |
_____ |_____| __ |__( __|__ )_
| \ .-----..-----..-----..---.-.|__|.----. |/ \/\_/"\._)/ \
| -- || -__||__ --|| _ || _ || || _| ( (__{(@)}\_) )
|_____/ |_____||_____|| __||___._||__||__| |\_/ (/(_)\_))_/
======================|__|=================== ______|_( (__)_)_/ )
July 4, 1999 No. 14 Vol. 1 /_________\_/ | \_/
Editor : Mystaric |/ /' |\ /'--'--'
Printer: Bede | (| \/ | |
STAFF : Allison Anaisse Apollonia Brakko | `\ | -o-
Conran Cyniq Dacoit Deevlit Elbanon | `\ `\ | ___|
Keroppi Kuah Louellin Mea Naeblis -O- `\ `\| /' ..')
Ranstlin Romanu Thabo Tunclon Vestia | __|`\ `\: ,' /'
============================================= /' _ /''`\ '__' |
Table of Contents ( .'./' | | -O-
`-' | | | |
Feature Poems/Stories | |/'
Quests Funny Bones | | |
Guild News Reunion -O- | | |
Announcements | \ / -O-
\/ |
______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ ______ ______
______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ ______ ______
| (__ () | _) \ | ---| \___| . |_ _| | | () | \___|
|______)______;______/ |____| |______;____|_| |__| |_______;___|\_\______;
-------------------- The Cry of Despair Feature Story --------------------
This we week have decided to feature a poll question about an immortal.
Here is what the RoD community has to say about:
What does Darrek wear under his kilt?
Mecil: a commercial underwear advertising a beer
Anonymous: what or who?
Aremic: id have to go with...frilly pink panties..yeah =)
Hecar: a stubby (beer bottle)
Someone: says 'he wears %s under his kilt.. :P
Krahl: his manhood
Nesett: Nothing, I think he goes regimental ;)
Sealom: nothing
Asmodius: I am at a loss for words
Someone: I think he is a boxer man
Moonbeam: a bottle opener
Plessar: a pink frilled panty
Nalvaz: silk panties ;)
Someone: a chastity belt :P
Viracocha: I don't know, but I'm sure I'm going to have Nightmares about that
Lascivias: your death?
Levana: nothing i hope heh
Loril: I'd say prolly a belt with beer stein holsters But I'm not
sure I want him to show me :P
Casdin: grins nice shaved legs and heart covered boxers
Elbanon: you must not fear darrek
Casidin: Naa he's a big softie *gulps* plus I got plenty of beer left
Ehn: The body of a guitar
Hulkinn: Wonder Woman Under-roos
Lyrias: Id have to say shoes.
Anonoumous: there. A funny bunny idol given to him by Jade
Mariyah: spiked garters?
Aphrael: laugh.. nothing of course!
Serina: 'Uhm, if i told you then he'd know I peeked :(
Dria: oooh, this answer takes some consideration :) I would have to
say that Darrek doesn't wear anything under his 15-kilt, after
all who ever heard of troll underwear
Elisabet: silk scooby-doo boxers'
Talanthus: was there some sort of pink panty story or something?'
Grendimix: a thong'
Gorog: an underkilt?
Bede: the lost boots of ranger Thoric?
***
I would just like to say that I find it disturbing how many people
take the time to look up Darrek's kilt.
____ _
/ __ \ | |
| | | |_ _ ___ ___| |_ ___
| | | | | | |/ _ \/ __| __/ __|
| |__| | |_| | __/\__ \ |_\__ \
\___\_\\__,_|\___||___/\__|___/
Quest Central
Open Quest
Reunion Quest
The object of this quest is to make up and original fictitious story about wh
you think will happen at the RoD Reunion. If you would like to base your story
on another work, you must state where the base material was obtained. For
example, if you wanted to use the Night before Christmas, and change the title
and content to the night before the RoD Reunion, you must give credit to the
original author. Poems, Stories, Songs are all acceptable.
_______________________________ . ,
[ QUIZ TIME: THE DRAGON LABYRINTH ] .(\/),
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The idea is to go from the dragon's head, (lower left hand corner),
to his tail (upper right hand corner).
.__ . . / .__. . / __ .
[ __. .*| _| __ / | |._. _| _ ._. __ / / `| _.._ __
[_./(_|||(_]_) / |__|[ (_](/,[ _) / \__.|(_][ )_)
Guild of Thieves News
The guild of thieves would like to welcome its newest members to the
brotherhood: Tequaz, Tiggsm Refyn and Xeromus! We would also like to
wish good luck to those currently questing for membership.
GoP News
GoP would like to welcome Stradi and Landi new GoP members. We have
a new addition to our bot collection as well. Introducing Tracheon the
GoP flower child. In an effort to brighten recall, we now have a
character devoted to handing flowers out to members. Do a whois Tracheon
for more information.
The IGQC Guild Wars final match is this Monday!
GoD/GoA vs. GoW/GoV
Monday, July 5th, 9 PM EST
--------------------------
The finalist's standings are:
GoD 6 - 0
GoW 5 - 1
GoV 4 - 1
GoA 3 - 3
________________________________
/ , _ /\
. .' | /|/ \ _ _ , |_/
:`...' `.,' ' | |__// \_|/ /|/|/| / \_ |
`. ' .**. ; ; ': \ | \_/ |_/ | | |_/ \/ \
` ``:`****,' .' : \ \
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.: `: ; `,' : | _, _| \||/
`: ` : ; | / | /|/| / | \||/
: : : ; / \/|_/ | |_/\/|_/ /\||/
: : : .: | | \||/
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.: . ...:::: | () _|_ _ ,_ o _ , | \||/
,'''''``::::::: | /\ | / \_/ | | |/ / \_ | \||/
`:::: | /(_) |_/\_/ |/|/|_/ \/ | \||/
`::. / | \|
`:: __/___________________________ / ||
. ,. ::::' / ,.. / / |
.'.' ``. :: \ .'.. `. \__/ '
' .: :: ,'.' .--------------------'
.' ,' .:::::: ,.' .:::.
.' .' ..:' ::: ., .;'
The Point of Life
What is the point of life?
You grow up, go to school
The off to college for a high paying job
You want money for your kids.
What is the point of life?
Your kids grow up, go to school
Then off to college for a high paying job
They want money for there kids.
What is the point of life?
All this work but yet not for you
Then your kids do it but not for them
Why?
What is the point of life?
Do you know?
Do I know?
Does anyonee really ever know?
Maybe everyone finds out someday
-Giko
Thoughts for Today
Thought for Today: Never argue with a fool. People may not know the
differnce....
Elbanon
______ ____ _ ______ ______ ______ ___
| __| | | | | | | | |__ ______ ______ ______ _______
|___| |______;____|_;____|_;___ | | . | ) | | \___|(_ (_`
--- funny - bones --------- |______| |______;______;____|_;______|__)____)
-FLAME FORM
Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [+] Loser
[ ] AOLer/Euronetter/PIer [+] Idiot
[ ] Me too er [+] Geek
[ ] Spammer [+] Nerd
[ ] Fed
[+] Other: Unbearably self-righteous person
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ ] You posted a "test" in a newsgroup other than alt.test/nl.test
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[+] You posted a "ASCII ART SUCKS" message
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[+] You suck
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You posted a message all written in CAPS
[+] I don't like your tone of voice
To Repent, You Must:
[ ] Give up your AOL/Euronet/Planet Internet account
[+] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[+] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Be Pat Buchanan's love slave
[+] Apologize to everybody on this mud
[ ] Beg over public channels to be Balzhured.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[+] Get a life
[ ] Never play again
[+] I pity your dog
[ ] You have the IQ of a bannana.
[ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment
[+] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
[ ] All of the above
End of Flame.
Have a nice day
Things To Do In An Elevator
-Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
-Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: 'Shut up, all
of you just shut UP!'
-Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got
enough air in there?'
-Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting
off.
-When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then
act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
-Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you Admiral.
-Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've
got new socks on!'
-Meow occassionally.
-Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
-Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side.
-Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 'You're one of THEM!'
and move to the far corner of the elevator.
-Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
-Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
-Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
-Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
-If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad Touch!'
*Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery*
-Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
-Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
-Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!!
-Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie.
-Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
-Could you stop that thing from thumping; it's throwing my concentration off.
-Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
######################--..'|.##############.|`..--######################
##############-./`.--./' ./ ################ \. `\. --.`\.-#############
############-.' `.`-' / -#############- . \ `-'.' `.-###########
##########-.' | | .'\ -##########- /`. | | `.-#########
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######-.' `. | `..`._|\.--./|_.'..' | .' `.-#####
####-.' \ | #.`.`._`.'--`.'_.'.'.# | / `.-###
##-.' ...... \ | ###.`-'(o\||/o)`-'.### | / ...... `.-#
-.`.......'- `. \ \-#### |\_ _/| ####-/ / .' -`........'.
;.' \ .----.__.'`(n||n)'`.__.----. / `;
`. , __ .' .' `. \`'/ .' `. `. ____ .'
#: /|/ \ ..': : '. -- .` : :`.. (| \ :#
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#: | \ .' .` .' ./ \. `. '. `. _| | :#
#: | \_/.' .' : ....' \__/ `.... : `. ` (/\___/ :#
#: .' .' o--o 5th `. `. :#
#: ..' . | | o `. `.. :#
#: ..' .'# O-Oo o-o o o o-o o-o o-o #`. `.. :#
#;.' .'##| | \ |-' | | | | | | | | | ||##`. `.:#
#`. .'###|\_ o o o-o o--o o o | o-o o o /|###`. .'#
##.` '#####\__---------------------------------__/#####` '.##
###### For more information on the RoD Reunion see help reunion. ######
########################################################################
O o
/ \ |
o---oo-o o-o o o o-o o-o o-o o-O-o o-o o-o -o- o-o
| || | | | | | | | | |-' | | | |-' | | | \
o oo o o-o o--o o o o-o o-o o o o o-o o o o o-o
ANNOUNCEMENTS
The CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and ideas for the
paper. The board is located in our New Front Office which is located
e,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].
To: All
I would just like to say thanks to the CoD staff for giving me something
entertaining and informative to read every week. Good job, and keep
up the good work :).
--Odessyus Harthlen (Number Two, Order of Templars)
A note from CoD staff:
We received several comments from people that were offended by some of
last weeks poll answers. While we apologize to anyone offended, we don't
feel it would add to the quality of the paper to censor responses to our
questions. However, we do appreciate your comments and suggestions so
keep them coming in!!!
Staff of CoD
Realms of Despair
Wizlock 
Down