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CoE Answers; Romani: Life of a Medieval Knight

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/ |  |    /,  ,-'||      '||''| '||  ||`    .|''|, '||' `-,  ,\    | | \
| |  | ,-, \ \_|]||       ||     `|..||     ||  ||  ||  [|,/ / ,-, | | |
| |,-|/ / ,_\,_/_`|....' .||.        ||     `|..|' .||. _\_,/_  \ \|,| |
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                 .||...|' `|...  `...'  ||..|' `|..||. .||. .||.
  CoD Issue 81                          ||                      Mar 2004
                                       .||

 |                   | Desk Of The Editor: Qaulorn
                     | Hints and Tips for the Newbietar: Tatyana
 |                   | Ask CoE: Sarakin and Kali
                     | IOQ Report: Wiglaff
 |                   | Fun Stuff:
                     |     - Advertisments: Shadrack
 |                   |     - Funny titles: Angelea and Alysira
                     |     - Wallpaper Contest
 |                   | News around the Realms:
                     |     - Nations News: Romani
 |                   |     - Guild News: Angelea
                     |     - Order News: Angelea
 |                   |     - TS/VC/CoE Updates: Wiglaff
                     | The Life of a Medieval Knight: Romani
 |                   | The 2004 RoD Awards: Alysira
                     | Cry of Despair Quests:
 |                   |     - February Quest Results
                     |     - March Quest
 |                   | From the Quill of Alysira
                     | Public Outcry

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Guest Editor: Qaulorn                                 Immortal Sponsor: Alysira
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Staff: Angelea Kentamya Khaimran Muiren Redric Sarakin Stozzter Simone 
       Tatyana Wiglaff
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 |       Desk of the Editor            0              by: Qaulorn            |
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Greetings all,
     This months issue contains a pleothra of information for players new and
old. Many thanks to the staff and all who contributed to the articles inside.

As a special addition this month we have the fifth annual Realms Awards. Three
cheers to all who voted and to Alysira for fielding all the data. I am sure we
are all excited to see this years winners, and losers... of sorts.

As this months guest editor I am glad to present the information in the the
most professional means possible.  Feel free to contact Alysira or I with any
comments or suggestions, and enjoy.

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                                      \ /
 |  Hints and Tips for the Newbietar   0              by: Tatyana            |
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So, you've become an avatar. You've hit level 50 and you've entered the new
world of yellow spam. It's what you've been working for since you first
started playing Realms. It's a whole new world! Imagine.. You don't have to
eat, you don't have to worry about xp anymore, you can explore new areas! But
with all the great new things that being an avatar can bring, there are also
new things you've got to worry about - running and trading and finding the
best equipment.

Where to start? Well.. it helps if you're part of an organisation. The members
of your guild or order can assist you in making the right equipment choices,
but they can't always be there for you. This section of the Cry newspaper is
all about what to do if you're a new avatar. I'll cover trading, equipment
choices, running, avatar lingo and I'll answer anyquestions that you send in.
This month I'm going to give you a few tips on successful trading.

Numero Uno, remember to ALWAYS get a second opinion. Not everybody on the
trading circuit will tell you the truth. I have come across newbietars who
have been charged obscene prices for items that are worth much less on the
market.
                                                         (continued)
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 |  Hints and Tips for the Newbietar   0              by: Tatyana            |
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So, if you are approached by a seller and they give you a price on an item, be
sure to either ask your friends or even ask over traffic.
Secondly, get a background check on people you are doing major trades with.
give you their main or maybe a few of their alts, and ask around. There have be
Ask them to give you their main or maybe a few of their alts, and ask around.

There have been instances when people have been sold an item and then found
out it wasn't what they wanted, meanwhile the person who sold it to them has
disappeared without a trace. I had a bit of a chat with Llesinde about being a
newbietar, and this is what she shared with me.

Tatyana: How long ago did you first become an avatar?
Llesinde: I av'ed just a few weeks ago
Tatyana: What was your initial reaction when you became an avatar?
Llesinde: I thought the yellow spam was very distracting. *G* But I loved
finally getting there. This game is very much an Avatar game, so you can do a
lot more after you Av.
Tatyana: Have you ever run into any problems on the trading scene as a new
avatar?
                                                         (continued)
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 |  Hints and Tips for the Newbietar   0              by: Tatyana            |
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Llesinde: I don't buy or sell much that way in part because I don't trust that
everyone in the game will play fair. But I've never actually gotten ripped off
selling or buying.
Tatyana: Do you have any hints or tips for people who have just become an
avatar, especially in regards to trading?
Llesinde: Auction and trading with people you see online on a regular basis is
your best bet

Well, that's all for this month folks! Thankyou to Llesinde for chatting with
me. So, all of you rockin' new avatars, send me mudmail or a tell and I'll be
happy to put the answers to your questions in next months Cry of Despair (at
your discretion, of course!).

I'll leave you with some important advice for newbietars from fellow Guildee
Mossweaver: "Don't touch things on the ground, they are dirty. (Especially not
the Deck of Many things)"

Good luck and happy hunting!

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                                      \ /
 |             Ask CoE                 0           by: Sarakin & Kali        |
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	Editors note:  This months Ask CoE gives excellent answers to some
			   great questions regarding gameplay.  Thanks to both
			   Sarakin and Kali for their efforts.

1) Since the shattering, it seems like there's been an effort to decrease the
HR on avatar running characters. A few examples of this include decreased HR on
new Crusades, the fact that bless and minor invocation no longer layer, and the
lack of HR on the new mutant-leather (cato) equipment, which basically replaces
eq such as shade helms and golden plates which have a significant amount of
hitroll. What is the reasoning behind this effort?

Bless and minor invocation being able to layer initially was due to a problem
in the smaugspell code that was rectified.  In the 1.4a release, it was
impossible for minor invocation to strip bless because the bless spell
loaded prior to it in the spell list.  That problem was rectified and two
spells that were never meant to stack no longer do.  It was never an issue
of too much hitroll.
                                                         (continued)
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 |             Ask CoE                 0           by: Sarakin & Kali        |
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Yes, golden plates and shade helms have a significant amount of hitroll.  The
problem is that hitroll was so disregarded and misunderstood in the past that
it was added without forethought to hundreds of objects throughout the Realms.
The standard practice used to be 'hitroll = damroll'.  That was a poor
approach that had lead to hitroll being a near useless stat.

The fact that we are trying to apply decent standards to hitroll currently
is unlikely to have any effect on character effectiveness.  We simply don't
want to perpetuate bad building habits.

2) Are there any plans in the works to improve magic missle and bow/missile
type weapons? It seems these have been an area that needs improvement for a
long time, and could bring a lot of potential to the game.

The short answer is that we haven't had a coder available and willing to
delve into problems with the missile code, despite our desire to see it
corrected.  I would love to see progress in that department, but it simply
hasn't happened.
                                                         (continued)
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                                      \ /
 |             Ask CoE                 0           by: Sarakin & Kali        |
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3) Will Bladesingers remain the only class restricted to deadlies, or can we
expect some new developments for deadly-only classes?

Bladesingers were fortunate to be proposed at a time where we were in a minor
lull between the implementation of the Shattering class changes and starting
on the next Slist project (which was Mage paths at the time).  There was
a second class proposed at the time, but there was just barely enough time
for us to complete Bladesingers.

The second class, Demon (which I would require a rename of should we reach
the point where we were looking  to add it), was brought up again recently.
However, there are a number of priority slist changes in the works first that
will have to be completed before it could be considered.  So, to be brief,
are we open to the idea?  Yes.  Do we see it as something coming in the near
future? No.

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 |             IOQ Report              0              by: Wiglaff            |
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    The long awaited Ascendere quest was run on 21st of February. Arcanes,
    Dragonslayer, Innconu, Maidenstone, and Ringbearers all had teams of
    five (Ascendere could not participate as they set the quest).

    The quest was in three stages:
    *Stage 1, was to find a Sponsor (find a pennant near a well known mob),
    *Stage 2 make money by guiding and protecting 'caravans' along a trade
    route whilst being attacked by aggresive quest monsters,
    *Stage 3 using the money from the previous stages, buy traps and a mask
    to kill the other orders with!

    The quest went on for a very long time (five hours) and due to a problem
    with the traps the pkill section could not be run as planned.

    Thanks are due to the IOQ immortals who had a lot of work to do during
    the quest with details like rounding up aggressive monsters that got
    left behind and were wandering the trade routes looking for monster fun.

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                                      \ /
 |          Advertisments              0              by: Shadrack           |
                                      / \
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                                      \ /
 |           Funny Titles              0        via Angelea and Alysira      |
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Gandrith: If your god is dead, our god probably ate it.
Tokai seeks a way to punch people using the internet.
Sardok is levelling.. Some one... (AFK somehow)
Larson: Luck won't last a lifetime unless you die young.
Brendan masturbates to re-runs of Flipper.
Ssur....Chocolate Salted Balls.
Hermoyne cinnamon n sugary like softly spoken lies
Ethia the Mathemagician.
Ghordan Sableheart Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.
Jaerdan yells "Someone save me from Bubba!"
Mobine Dick, The Great White One,
Smirnoff Sableheart Internal organ refitter..
Shelaine: You call me diamond..cause you like it rough.
Xandy's 21 'n a wee bit, the wee bit's me own business.
Druna Starfall the intergalactic pornstar.
Radihatarn, Dont get better, thats the best your gonna get.
Whitney tastes of Chardonnay on your lips.
Merit got his dreams just right, and let em slip away.
Reqlen is the Designated Drinker.
Alielle feeds Cupid to the dogs
Moonbeam; I'm really easy to get along with, once you people learn to worship
	me.
Menac-e to Societ-y.
Blodkai... "While you were gone, the Globetrotters held a news conference to
	announce that I was a 'jive sucker'."
Lyreth: Sex, Death and Money, honey.
Kali. This margin walker wants a clear view'
Pansynance-X, flogs you with his ManMuscle.
Penance-XP, Kills Bugs Dead!
Zhanoran Sanrin's pants are indeed smart
Mossweaver the friend of Small, Furry, Woodland creatures.
Jahalura isn't as funny as Ecnanep (Mentor:Jexia)

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                                      \ /
 |      Wallpaper Contest              0                      by Romani      |
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  .-.-------------------------------------------------.-.
 ((o))                                                   )
  \U/____________               __________         _____/
    |                                                  |
    |        _  _ ____ ____ ____    _   _ ____         |
    |        |__| |___ |__| |__/     \_/  |___         |
    |        |  | |___ |  | |  \      |   |___         |
    |                                                  |
    |                                                  |
    |  By royal decree, Duke Luther has commissioned   |
    |  artwork depicting "Endless Medieval Enjoyment." |
    |  In this, our tenth year of celebration, the     |
    |  Realms of Despair means many things to many     |
    |  people. Take pride in your community and place  |
    |  your marvelous talents before the Realms.       |
    |                                                  |
    |                                                  |
    |  All original creations will be considered, and  |
    |  prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places will be     |
    |  awarded by the Herald Assembly. Winning images  |
    |  will also be placed on the Realms of Despair    |
    |  website for downloading as desktop wallpaper.   |
    |  Images submitted for consideration will not be  |
    |  returned and will become the property of RoD.   |
    |                                                  |
    |                                 (continued)      |
    |_______       _________      ____  ______      ___|
   /A\                                                  \
  ((o))                                                  )
   '-'--------------------------------------------------'

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                                      \ /
 |      Wallpaper Contest              0                      by Romani      |
                                      / \
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  .-.-------------------------------------------------.-.
 ((o))                                                   )
  \U/____________               __________         _____/
    |                                                  |
    |  Eligible submissions must adhere to the         |
    |  following guidelines:                           |
    |                                                  |
    |  * Submit only original artwork of your own      |
    |    creation                                      |
    |  * Contain the following phrases:                |
    |    "Realms of Despair"                           |
    |    "http://www.realmsofdespair.com"              |
    |    "Endless Medieval Enjoyment"                  |
    |  * Submit in either *.bmp or *.jpg format        |
    |  * Submit in both 1024 x 768 and 800 x 600       |
    |                                                  |
    |  Be creative with your submissions and feel free |
    |  to use other elements from the game to enhance  |
    |  your image. They will be judged based upon the  |
    |  guidelines and individual creativity by the     |
    |  Immortal community.                             |
    |                                                  |
    |  Submit your entry to realmsofdespair@cox.net    |
    |  no later than 12:00AM EST March 15, 2004.       |
    |                                                  |
    |                                                  |
    |_______       _________      ____  ______      ___|
   /A\                                                  \
  ((o))                                                  )
   '-'--------------------------------------------------'

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                                      \ /
 |          RP Report: Human           0              via Romani             |
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Lord Miyaki,
 
     I apologize for the delay of this letter. I have been quite busy 
scouting out the land of the so-called King's Castle, and have found it
to be quite secure. I also wish to report that Corsterix has been most
helpful ever since it was demonstrated what noncompliance would cost him.
For all his rhetoric, he is extremely mindful of the safety of his son.
I recommend against removing Corsterix or Theoderic, as their absenses
will likely cause a revolt. In addition to your own troups, the Templar
and Castle Guards will make a formidable force indeed. I have given orders 
that the guards that man the walls and towers be replaced by superior 
archers (I recommened elves and drow) of your own stock, although they 
require comfirmation from you. I have a few ideas that will be sure to 
surprise any invaders, as well as provide us with hours of amusement.  
These designs will be finalized soon. On another note, Corsterix has 
become displeased with the dwindling number of his servants, so I request 
that slaves (I prefer elves) be delivered to help with the food supply. In
addition, there seems to be a minor shortage of other foods due to, I'm 
told, your troops, so normal food items would be helpful as well. Lastly,
I request a large volume (as much as can be found) of dwarven ale.
 
In haste,
Tonitrus

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 |       RP Report: Tyrrhenu           0              via Romani             |
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      Gnomes of the Tyrrhenu,

      I, Kelgore Endloss, newly ascended Premier of the Tyrrhenu, call upon all
 Gnomes, both hard working and scholarly Gnomes, to join me in the foundation
 of our new direction. Please, join me in Nidaros to discuss these matters, we
 must seize this moment and make it our own. Let us break precedence and forge
 the Tyrrhenu anew.

    *)KE(*  Lord Kelgore Endloss
            Premier of the Tyrrhenu
            Scholar of the Rol na Feinne


 OOC: Gnomes, I am your new Nation Leader! I am currently looking to shape
      the Nation into a group of intellectuals, philosophers, musicians,
      inventors, scholars, and the likes. Of course, any character is welcome,
      but these roles are what I am striving for. Please, if you own a Gnome,
      contact me via mudmail if you are interested or have any ideas to share.

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 |       RP Report: Gralthai           0              via Romani            |
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*written on a parchment encrusted with fire*
The Gralthai Kingdom has expanded from the Astral Planes to set guard
points around the seas and planes of the Realms. We have done this as
a minor security precaution against any futile attempts to attack us.
Vilari, my new second in command and Prince of the Gralthai people is in
charge of the security and defense of my realms.
-
*Signed with the blood of the ancients*
King Aslan Bloodthorne, Gralthai King
-
OOC Note: Please feel free to get actively rping as a gith, for any questions
please find Me (Aslan) or Vilari.

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 |       RP Report: Irrybis            0              via Romani            |
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      In the dark of night I returned after several years' absence from
   Arborlon, having been detained by war, pestilence and tyranny in my
   onetime home, Silmataurea.  There I took a wound that should have been
   mortal, but magic and the grace of the gods preserved me. I am weak,
   therefore, and when I encountered Gawen in Arborlon's flets he seemed
   relieved at my return. The next morning I found that he had abdicated
   the crown and I was once again Tari in Arborlon.

      Upon coming of age or attaining full citizenship of Irrybis, all
   elves pledge and bond themselves to the heart tree, Fealithyrn, and so
   it is that we are tied to our home. Yet I discovered that through
   civil strife more than half our numbers were gone from the island, to
   declare themselves another nation on other shores, and that Gildeth
   was leading them.

      It was only yesterday that I met with Gildeth and we spoke of
   restoring the Elven Nation of Irrybis to wholeness. I agreed to listen
   to the concerns of his people, and he in turn agreed to bring them
   home.

      The two councils will blend to become one cohesive unit, and it is
   hoped that the elves can resolve their differences to deal as one with
   the nations and the pressing concerns that attend doing so.

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                                      \ /
 |       Guild Report: GoN             0              via Angelea            |
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           It's been a quiet month for the Guild of Nephandi, but
           we have said hello to two new faces, and said goodbye to
           two old faces.  Morreion and Zoes have left the Wyrm's
           embrace, and Derwe and Dreval have entered it. Welcome!

           We had some fun outings, notably several trips to Edo
           and the Underworld to name a few.

           But on to the important stuff!  The Guild of Nephandi is
           seeking new recruits! That's right, you read it correctly,
           so come on out all you level 18 and higher Nephandi cause
           we want you!  Speak to an IT or a Leader today and we'll
           get you on your way.

                           www.guildofnephandi.org

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 |       Guild Report: GoR             0              via Angelea            |
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        Another busy month for the Guild of Rangers has passed and a
        group of new pledges has shown up at the tree.  We welcome
        Cristobal, Elebereth, Endromeda, Gauther, Valris and welcome
        back Tatyana. Hope you all enjoy your time here.

        The pledges who passed their reviews this time around are:
        Junhi, Leanq, Llesinde, Peredur, Phyron, Rolynd and Silmarwen.
        Congratulations to all of you.

        Gelroos, Raza and Rialian are this month's birthday rangers.
        I hope you all had a wonderful day and lots of presents.

        Congratulations to Jennica for becoming our newest Scout and
        Lopuis for taking up RQC duties as well.

        If you're a peaceful, level 20 or above and would like to join
        the guild, stop by the tree to pick up a guide and speak to an
        RQC member, or take a look at our website at:

                      http://rangers.silverwolf-den.com/

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 |       Guild Report: GoT             0              via Angelea            |
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    Well, GoT had a nice month, activity has been high as always, even higher
than usual really, so plenty of runs, plenty of new people, and lots of fun!

    Joined GoT since last month's report: Madisson, Minetas, Marissa, Tadea,
Danmynder, and Muraki, GoT wishes to welcome them to our guild and wish them
a good time with us. :)

    Our Assassins have been active as always, running many mobs.. Some nice S/O
runs, plenty of Corsterix runs, and alot of ARC running :) Congratulations to
Kaopeh and Ardaria for making ARC-DP, Cycis - ARC-II and Knivel, for achieving
ARC-III and taking the position of ARC-L. Well done guys!

    As for our other councils, the Scribes of Stealth have been working hard
and have introduced the guild to some interesting discoveries.

    Congratulations are also in order (once again) to Kaopeh for nicely
settling in as our new Donation Team guildmember head!

    So many changes, some new refreshing and dedicated people giving even more
than before to the guild, always pleasing to see...

    If you wish to see it for yourself, you know where to find us! 3s 2w n w of
DH [] to those who don't remember ;)  Come visit, we'll be waiting!

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 |       Guild Report: GoV             0              via Angelea            |
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The Guild of Vampires bids you welcome!

     New to GoV this month are Balgreth, Dexamph, Kyla, Lalartu and
     Malanari. May Aalakab have mercy on their souls.

     This was another good month for guilded vampires.  In addition
     to some more standard mobs, we successfully ran Corst and Darko.
     Much fun was had. We've also enjoyed several interesting quests,
     trivia games and general mayhem.

     If you are a vampire level 20 or higher and are looking for a
     home, why not stop by our recruiting board (help map) and fill out
     an application today? Visit our web site at:

                        www.guildofvampires.com

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       The Guild of Augurers have been busy in the last month!  Our
       leaders have been busy organizing several of the councils,
       including revitalizing the MWR: Morale, Welfare, and Recreation
       council.  On the inductions side, we're proud to see Orphik,
       Alinaryth, and Raltharis (once again) joining our ranks.

       Several new faces are representing our guild.  Hivaqaviel has
       been gracious as he partakes as our Symposium representative,
       and Excane diligently takes on the Interguild Quest Council rep.
       And Taokor, our retiring guild member-turned-bot, gave a quest of
       his own to the guild, stumping a lot of the augurers as well!

       If you are a young timecaster (at least level 15), or an old
       advocate, the Guild of Augurers welcomes you.  Don't hesitate to
       give one of the leaders or IT members a shout, or post an
       application on the induction board located nw 3w nw of Darkhaven [].

    Wizards of War, Unity in Knowledge.

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It's been another interesting month for the Mages of Darkhaven's Tower of
Sorcery. The eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that the Guild of Mages
has a new Guildmistress... Gisselle has stepped up from First to become our
Leader, while our previous Guildmaster, Dobby, decided to take a step down and
resume Gisselle's old role. We wish them both the best of luck in their new
positions, which they have chosen to take on for personal reasons. Gisselle
has previously held the position of Guildmistress a few years ago, and will
doubtless bring her extensive experience and abilities to her new role.

More recently, the Second of the Guild of Mages, Lyvelias has stepped down
from his position due to real-life considerations.  He'll be much missed, and
we all thank him for his service to the Guild. Elections for a new Guild
Second have already begun, with Agroma, Hardaker, Leonidas, Minevra and Murren
all having been nominated. By the time that the Cry of Despair goes to press,
a new Second will likely have been appointed.

In other news, the War Magi (run council) of the GoM have had a busy month.
Aside from runs to the like of Catoblepas, Jade and Corsterix, the council has
received a makeover. A new rank system has been put in place, along with new
benefits and obligations. Mirroring this have been changes to the Council of
Mages, the consultory body within the Guild. The number of places on the
council have been reduced, to make it more efficient, and automatic places for
council leaders have been abolished, making it more accessible to general
guild members.
                                                         (continued)
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The Guild was also successful in its first IGPK event, teaming up with the
Fathomers to take down the Augurers and Clerics. In related news, the
Necromancer Championships reached their climax, with Lyvelias defeating
Gisselle in the final of the competition to become the PKill Champion of the
GoM. More fun is in store for the GoM, though, with the eagerly anticipated
Spartan Games about to kick-off.

We would also like to welcome Tuakee, Zora, Nazdrowie, Ammon, Marandil and
Gharn as the newest members of GoM! If you would like more information on the
Guild of Mages, visit our website at www.guildofmages.com.

    - Leonidas

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 |       Guild Report: GoC             0              via Leonidas           |
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Another busy month has flown by in the Guild of Clerics, and foremost on the
list of changes is another whirlwind of leadership leapfrog! Yes, both
Mnenarchment and Exisia, bless their Clerical souls, had no choice but to
leave their harrowing leadership duties. Thank you for your hard work...you
both went above and beyond the call of duty!!!

We have now submitted to the leaderly qualities of Guildmaster Carlie, and her
First Mate Tokai...as well as our newly elected victim...um, I mean Guild
Second, Cleryst. Cheers to our Grand Triumvirate of Leaders!!!

Another great change has been some tweaking of our Application Process (we
just love to tweak!) I hope all level 15 or higher clerics check out our
noteboard nw-2w-2n-e-u of the square to see the new rules, and to venture into
the bizarre world of the GoC!

Clerics who have managed to survive our induction process this month are Alton,
Caseria and Kryysh! We have chained them in the dungeon to brew sanc potions
for us all! But don't worry, we feed them lots of dirty carrots.

Congrats, everyone, and thanks for making the Realms a less despairing place!

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 |       Order Report: Baali           0              via Angelea            |
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     The Order of Baali has had their highs and lows this month. It is with
     a heavy heart that we say farewell to our distinguished leader, Mbwana,
     as he retires from these Realms to join with the demons of real life.
     From the vacuum of his absence, Typh as elevated to Obdurati and Leader
     of Baali, with Gibimcri being promoted to the positition of Angellis
     Ater, the first in command. With a slot in leadership available,
     Veltheera has been raised as the new Heretic and Number Two.
     Congratulations to all three and may your reigns be long and prosperous.

     Congruatulations are also in order for Louis, who has been selected as
     the new leader of the Childer Di Sciame, the sect in charge of
     inductions. For those that are interested in joining the ranks of the
     Baali, we are now accepting applications. See the archives and
     help baali_apps for details.
                                                         (continued)
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     Justicari La Dis also has a new leader as well. Taonmyk has been chosen
     to lead and guide the minions of Ba'al into battle against the many
     beasts that inhabit this world. Bravo Taonmyk.

     With the holidays over, Baali has seen a lift in acitivity. With this
     surge, a new sect has been formed within Baali to create quests and events
     that continue to promote activity within the Order. Mari has volunteered
     to head this new sect with the assistance of Grimlock.

     While activity and new blood circulate within the order, dark rumors have
     begun to spread that other things may soon reawaken.

                        help baali   ---   www.thebaali.info

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Since I have this love of RB, like most of the people here I just thought it
would be fitting to show all of you how truly goofy we really are..
Hope you enjoy and trust me there is PLENTY more to come
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

     Wren ordertalks 'I'm destined to have curly hair for all eternity'
     Mirra ordertalks 'bpat wren. You know, some great ideas have come from
       curly-haired folks.. just look at the chia-pet :P'
     Wren ordertalks 'I'm not a chia Pet'
     Selina ordertalks 'i always wanted one of those'
     Mirra ordertalks 'speaking of disco.. Afros were big in those days..
       curly hair really helped those :P'
     Osgiliath ordertalks 'same here'
     Mirra ordertalks 'from what I've seen Ossy, you still want a chia pet ;)'
     Wren ordertalks 'Selina..'                 Wren ordertalks 'Meanie'
     Wren ordertalks 'She did an echo in my apt...
       Ch ch ch chia! ch ch ch chia pet!'
     Mirra ordertalks 'you know it'll be a conspiracy if Ossy puts something
       in his title about loving a chia pet ;)'
     Wren ordertalks 'ok if you want to see my curly ass hair..
       http://profiles.yahoo.com/ame_rub'
     Mirra ordertalks 'you have a hairy ass wren?'
     Osgiliath ordertalks 'no she has cute ass :)'
                                                         (continued)
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     **Nations Leader  Wren Ossy's Chia! (Ringbearers) The Symposium
     **Yes, that's right an IMM.. coughSelinacough Changed Wren's title**
     Selina ordertalks 'i would look a bit closer to home to place
       the blame ;)'
     Osgiliath ordertalks 'It wasn't me I didn't do anything! ;)'
     Wren ordertalks 'Yeah uh huh.. right.. i believe you'
     Nations Leader  Wren T'alathreal ..::Ossy's Chia Pet!::..1
        (Ringbearers) The Symposium
     **Wren decided to change it so something a little more fitting**
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
     Mirra ordertalks 'heh. just don't pull the rope too hard Ossy :P'
     Ssur ordertalks 'dont pull anything thats attached to me'
     Osgiliath ordertalks 'awww not even your finger?:)'
     Silvia ordertalks 'ack dont go near osg's fingers'
     Mirra ordertalks 'Hey everybody have you seen my balls, they're big,
     and salty and brown!'
     Wren ordertalks '*waves her hands in front of her face*
       Who let one go?'
     Osgiliath ordertalks ' for my pic Ssur *wink*
     I'm the tanned one;) 2nd one from the right'

     More of RB outtakes next month.:D Hope you enjoy.

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* Adding if you are translucent to the prompt token of hide/invis etc.
* Allowing pets to enter hometowns by way of a phrase/portal entrance
* Area Economy to reset when area not in use for several hours .
* Connecting 'help remove' to the 'help wear/wield' helpfile
* Furniture save -Certain items like bedrolls, sleeping bags and beds would 
                  save with the user when they log off.
* Gag levels for fight spam - moved to Forums for further work
* Glory rates for adding glow/hum to equipment.
* Gold - Give more gold to certain mobs, higher midas values to some equipment
* 'Help Olympics' - trophy will be updated to reflect that there will be no
                  more Olympics held.
* Mob lag progs and supping recall.
* Not being able to buy from shopkeepers you can't see (hidden or invis)
* Pet names - moved to VC
* Update for help skinmask helpfile - Implemented
* Waypoints - New code for builders to increase mob use and movement

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* Charging glory to add a save component on apartments. This has failed many
  times in the past and was felt to not be necessary.
* Config option for news - It was felt that the spam incurred to alts who are
  logged on occasion from news message was not something that needed a config 
  option.
* Minimum level 6 for weapon types to show up on practice - There is nothing
  wrong with practicing weapon types before level 6. Once a player has reached
  level 6, it's easy to see what weapon type  they are wielding as it begings
  to adept automatically once practiced. Practicing weapon types is not a 
  waste of practice sessions prior to level 6.
* Mobs and trigger punctuation - Half the fun is figuring out what to say and
  how to say it to a mob  when exploring an area and figuring out puzzles.
* Penal colony - It was felt this proposal would encourage players to break
  the rules/laws of the game for the infamy of being in the penal colony and
  having stats displayed in a rogue's gallery.
* Reduce experience loss on recalling from combat to same as flee - Fleeing 
  from combat involves an element of risk, recalling from combat brings you
  to a nice safe haven. Hence the higher cost in exp loss.
* Silenced/helled showing in 'whois' player - Buyer beware, if a tell you send 
  to the character you are buying sends you back the message that this 
  character is helled/silenced....It is your choice if you still want to buy
  a char that is helled/silenced. There is no need to display this information 
  in the 'whois'.
* Two-handed magic user staff - This should be left up to builders.

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                                      \ /
 |   The Life of a Medieval Knight     0              by: Romani             |
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@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@

      * A series of articles on the life of a medieval knight.*
     Dear Father,
     I am writing from the field as I am attending the joust a plaisance
     where several of the King's knights have been chosen to participate.
     I have not as yet been proven worthy of this honor but do hope to learn
     the finer aspects of jousting in good time. My comrad is in the joust,
     as always at the ready to take on any that would stand in his way from
     becoming the best in all areas of sport.
       I hear tell that my lady will attend, though I have yet to see her.
     I am enclosing a page from Andreas Capellanus' second book on Chivalry.
     His works are required study for all knights attending the castle. I
     wish more of the peasant folk at home had heard of this, it would have
     saved a few lives from the blades that fall in the shadows amongst the
     common folk. Nay, though their simple minds could not comprehend such
     teachings.
                                    Your humble servant, and devoted Knight,
                                                  Signed simply - T

                                                         (continued)
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 |   The Life of a Medieval Knight     0              by: Romani             |
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@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@}-,-'--,-'-{@

                   Original rules from "The Art of Courtly Love Book II"
                                   by Andreas Capellanus (circa 1250)

1.  Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
2.  He who is not jealous cannot love.
3.  No one can be bound by a double love.
4.  It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
5.  That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
6.  Boys do not love until they reach the age of maturity.
7.  When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
8.  No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
9.  No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love.
10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to
marry.
12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved.
13. When made public love rarely endures.
                                                         (continued)
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14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of
    attainment makes it prized.
15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart palpitates.
17. A new love puts an old one to flight.
18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
21. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
22. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his
    beloved.
                                                         (continued)
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26. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
27. A man in love is always apprehensive.
28. Real jealousy always increases the feeling of love.
29. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
30. He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little.
31. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
32. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his
    beloved.
33. Love can deny nothing to love.
34. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
35. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
36. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
37. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the
    thought of his beloved.
38. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
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The polls are closed. The votes are tallied. This is the moment you have been 
waiting for.

On the following pages are the results of the 2004 Realms of Despair Awards.
The annual awards are a tradition going back for five years, and every year
they get more and more popular. This year there were a total of 48 categories,
and 77 voters. Neither myself nor Qaulorn voted, the only two people able to
see the votes. Winners are placed in order of First place, Second place, 
Third place. Where more than one person appears in a place, this indicates a
tie.
Before I announce the official winners, here are a few fun results:

 * Most awards won in any place: Mephie
 * Most awards won in first place: Moonbeam and Aylssa
 * Most single votes in a category: Category 39, 50 single votes
 * Most voted-in category: Category 2
 * Least voted-in category: Category 43

Congratulations to the winners of every category! As for prizes, well, I'm
sure you can all go out and buy yourself something nice. Thanks again
everyone for making it a great event!

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
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1. Best Male Immortal
Conran, Kali, Kinux

2. Best Female Immortal
Moonbeam, Ceirana, Selina

3. Best Male Roleplayer
Miyaki, Chengis, Falennt
   
4. Best Female Roleplayer
Amalia, Veltheera, Rebeca/Rowanne

5. Best RoD Couple
Kali and Moonbeam, Osgiliath and Wren, Annaliea and Runedrebu

6. Best "New change" to Realms
Two-handed weapons, Extradimensional portals being mage-only, 
undevoting deities
   
7. Worst "New change" to Realms
Extradimensional portals being mage-only, IP levelling checks, 
Two-handed weapons

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
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/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

8. Best Guild
Guild of Nephandi, Guild of Clerics, Guild of Vampires
   
9. Best Order
Ascendere, Ringbearers, Inconnu
   
10. Best Clan
Maleficae, Excordis, Cattarh
 
11. Best Area
Mountain of Lost Souls, Underworld, Knights of the Round
  
12. Best Nation
Drow, Half-Elf, Pixie
   
13. Best Food Item
Toffee-coated imp, magic mushroom, chocolate-chip cookie
   
14. Best Drink Item
Flaming Homer, Blood, Coffee
   
15. Best "Treasure" Item
Mystic eye of foresight, delightful little rag doll, 
A colorful wrasseskin beachball/Moonbeam's crystal ball
  
16. Most Likely to DT
Shaolong, Khelf, Qaulorn

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 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
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/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

17. Best Dressed
Aylssa, Eric, Trihxeem
 
18. Most Likely to be Balzhured
Shaolong, Mephie, Dolerhyde
 
19. Best Rename
Jexia's bunny slippers, Bassam - Crown of the Pudding King, 
Amalia- Temptation
   
20. The "Fruit" Award
Aslan, Shaolong, Restol
   
21. Best Social
Nod, Grin, Ssmile
   
22. Best Male Player
Gul, Sycoraxe, Zwanth
 
23. Best Female Player
Aylssa, Mephie, Skaphia

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

24. Most likely to get illegally PKilled
Shaolong, Zwanth, Mephie/Aslan
 
25. Most likely to be the one to illegally PKill them
Dolerhyde, Azrielle, Shaolong
 
26. Most charismatic deadly
Miyaki, Dolerhyde, Faceripper/Einik
 
27. Most charismatic peaceful
Mephie, Mauzait/Gallant/Saraphin
 
28. Most interesting help file
Help Me, Help Bassamrequests, Help Answers1-9
 
29. Most interesting room
The Prison Shower (aka Bubba's Room), The Lounge
 
30. Best Runner
Aylssa, Mephie, Zwanth

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

31. Best explorer
Khelf, Nemser, Adaez

32. Next-to-Imm
Angelea, Shingo, Aeriana/Covellia
  
33. Most eligible Bachelor
Cappadocius/Rathmonicus, Conran, Mumra
 
34. Most eligible bachlorette
Alysira, Darshanin/Babui, Kyrstal
 
35. Best Female Character Played By A Male
Ilsensine, MaidenStone, Nymath/Mephie
 
36. Funniest person
Kali, Blodkai/Conran/Sinistro/Sealom

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

37. Sickening Goodness (the biggest Goodie Two-Shoes)
Aslan, Loril, Destre

38. Ugliest Player Name
Joandaxjimli, Smirnoff, Ganemanoimu/Ubamakaji/Faceripper/Pudge

39. Nicest Player Name
Moonbeam/Alysira, 50 ties for second place

40. Most Unique rename.
Zwanth- a pointy wizard hat decorated with tiny dolphins, 
Wiglaff- Circlet of the Trinity

41. Craziest Player
Bassam, Jarrok, Gallant

42. Most Dedicated Leader
Aylssa, Rathmonicus, Skaphia

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                                      \ /
 |   The 2004 RoD Awards               0              by: Alysira            |
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43. Best Quest of 2003
Survivor 2003 (By Ceirana and Hoerkin), 10 ties for second

44. Most Frequent to X-Chan
Moonbeam, Ceirana/Wren/Osgiliath

45. Most Likely To End Up With QWERTY On Their Forehead
Feyd/Zendroax, Phred/Zwanth/Ascendere, Karsiq/The Loungers

46. Most Likely To Have No Life
Zwanth, Gallant, Mephie

47. Most Frightening Immortal
Moonbeam, Blodkai, Kali

48. Most Frightening Player
Miyaki/Mephie, Azvacar/Ashtakh


That's it! Congratulations to the winners, or condolences in some cases,
and thanks to everyone who voted and made it fun. See you next year!

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                                      \ /
 |   February Quest Results            0              by: Alysira            |
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Well, February's long gone, as has Valentines Day... Thank goodness! If you
remember last month's quest, it was to write up an imaginary date using mobs
of the Realms. Two entries were selected as the winners, congratulations to...
                        Linezz and Rolynd!

Please see me to collect your prizes ASAP. On the following two pages are
their entries, followed by this month's quest, which has been written by Jexia.
Enjoy!

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                                      \ /
 |   February Quest Results            0              by: Alysira            |
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"The Dating Game" by Rolynd

Welcome our eligible Bachelor, Harakiem! Let's get started...
Harakiem welcome the Bachelorettes Guenevere, Justice and Black Rose
Harakiem - "Hi there Ladies."
Guenevere/Black Rose/Justice - "Hi Harakiem!"
Harakiem - "OK first question, Bachelorette Number One; describe our
perfect date."
Guenevere - "Well, I think you would ride up on a white charger and
carry me off to live happily ever after in your Castle with a nice big
round table for dinners and entertaining."
Harakiem smiles. "Ok Bachelorette Number Two, same question."
Justice - "Well I think we would spend a lovely evening judging the 
evil deeds of all sorts of evil-doers from all over the Realms."
Harakiem stares blankly. "Ok Bachelorette Number Three, same question."
Black Rose - "Well I think we would spend a lovely romantic evening at
my house where I would just positively devour you." *growls seductively*
Harakiem's eyes light up. "Ok, all Bachelorettes; if you were an animal
which animal would you be?"
Guenevere - "A sterling White Horse."
Justice - "I dont understand the question."
Black Rose - "A Dragon."
Alright, time to make your decision Harakiem. Will it be Bachelorette
Number One, Number Two, or Number Three?

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                                      \ /
 |   February Quest Results            0              by: Alysira            |
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Harakiem - "I choose Bachelorette Number Three!"
OK well let's let you meet the others you didnt choose first.
Justice comes around the screen frowning.
Justice kisses Harakiem on the cheek and runs out, sobbing.
Guenevere comes around the screen kisses Harakiem and walks out.
Guenevere - "Prolly best, my husband would have been pissed."
And now for your choice, Bachelorette Number Three!
An enormous Dragon comes around the screen breathing acid all over 
everything, and savagely devours Harakiem, leaving nothing but a rusty
pitted axe behind.
Black Rose turns and blows a kiss to the screen incinerating the entire
audience in the process.

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                                      \ /
 |   February Quest Results            0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

"When Hera met Harry This Valentine's Day" by Linezz
Hera, the evil stepmother of Hercules who is well-loved by all mortals for her
role as goddess of marriages and birth has simply tested Zeus limits once too
many. The heavens shook as Zeus bellowed furiously, sparks shooting from the
edges of his silhouette.
    'Your jealousy is despicable! You have no right to transform that lovely
maiden into  a turkey, plucked it, cooked it and then made me eat it last
Thanksgiving!'
    Empowered by anger, Zeus temporarily stripped Hera of her powers and cast
her down to the most barren lands on the realms of despair - Where nought but
sand can be seen for thousands of miles. "When I return you will be ready to
repent for your sins!" he growled...
    Hera awoke with a start, face down in a pile of sand. She spat out the 
sand and looked around her, dazed. 'Who am I, what am I doing here?'
She raised herself up giddily, looked around the piercing glare of the desert
sun. Then she saw him.
    He seemed to be looking at her, but she could not tell for sure. He then
spoke in a hushed soft deep tone, without moving his mouth - 'Do not be 
afraid, I prayed daily for a lady to be sent my way, and the gods have been
kind. Looks like you are my Valentine's gift! Will you be my Valentine milady?'

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                                      \ /
 |   February Quest Results            0              by: Alysira            |
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He whisked her off to his magnificent palace. He prepared a lovely rose-petal
pathway for her. He showered her with flowers, gifts and exotic treasures
that sparkle brightly in the sun. She thought giddily... "I'm falling in love
with this magnificently appealing stranger..." as she lied in his embrace.
    Before sun down, Zeus appeared before Hera and gave her back her prior
memory. 'Are you sorry for what you have done? Have you learned your lesson?'
he asked.
    Hera laughed loudly and haughtily at his question. "Are you joking?? I 
have never had so much fun in my whole immortal life ever! I wish I could stay
here forever!"
    Zeus repeated - "Are you sure you want to stay?"
    Hera snorted rudely - "I shall go wherever my two feet takes me!" and 
looked down at her feet, but they were not there. In their place was a warm,
purple, wriggly, fat, slobbering end of a tail. She shrieked in terror, and 
looked around her. She was stuck in a cave with huge precious stones littered 
around, and beside her lie her mating partner, Harry the Hairy purple sandworm,
slightly bigger than herself, coiled all around the upper part of her torso.
    Not surprisingly, Hera quickly repented and returned to the skies with Zeus.

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                                      \ /
 |   March Quest                       0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
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This month's quest has been written by Jexia, the puzzle queen!
Please MUDmail your entries to Alysira by the 18th of March, and
the two most correct entries will win. The answers to this quest
will appear in next month's Cry of Despair.

  CAPFTHON     
  AGPEHOCR   
  RKADERIA   In the grid left are hidden the names of 11 immortals.
  TICONVIN   The names of the immortals are joined, the last letter
  LUSTOESI   of one forming the first letter of the next.           
  ARILAKNN        For example, MOONBEAMUMRALTRAG.           
  LYSILSEE                    
  AIRDNOMD                 

Starting from the top left hand corner, trace the name of the 11
immortals, moving only vertically or horizontally between letters,
without reusing any letters.
 
At the end of the names, there will be a letter left over.
 
Send in:
a) The names of the 11 immortals
b) The left over letter

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                                      \ /
 |   From the Quill of Alysira         0              by: Alysira            |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

Greetings, all!

I hope you're satisfied with how the RoD Awards turned out. They are
a great tradition of the CoD and the Realms of Despair, and hopefully
they will continue on for years to come.

This month we welcome Tatyana back to the Staff, and she has already
wowed us with her latest article. Well done Tatyana!

Qaulorn was our Guest Editor for this month, and sadly all other
Guest Editors have withdrawn. Next month our permanent Editor will
be announced, will it be Angelea or Qaulorn?

Hope you enjoyed this month's Cry of Despair, and have fun playing
Jexia's quest! Remember to MUDmail your entries to ME only for it.

-Alysira

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                                      \ /
 |   The Public Outcry                 0                                      |
                                      / \
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              /---------------------------------------------------\
              | /-----------------------------------------------\ |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Have something important to say, but don't    | |
              | | have anywhere to say it?                      | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Consider advertising in the Cry of Despair!   | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Organization leaders, wedding planners,       | |
              | | anything and everything appropriate will be   | |
              | | considered, formatted to your liking, and     | |
              | | posted here free of charge!                   | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Just MUDmail your annoucement to Alysira, and | |
              | | it will appear in the CoD the next month!     | |
              | |                                               | |
              | \-----------------------------------------------/ |
              \---------------------------------------------------/

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                                      \ /
 |   The Public Outcry                 0                                      |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

              /---------------------------------------------------\
              | /-----------------------------------------------\ |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Are you looking for a new challenge in life?  | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Want to meet interesting, and even not-so-    | |
              | | interesting people?                           | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Want to discover new aspects of the game?     | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Want your voice to be heard by the whole MUD? | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | And... Want to get paid for it all?           | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Then look at a career in journalism! Send a   | |
              | | short application and sample article via      | |
              | | MUDmail to Alysira if you're interested in    | |
              | | joining the Cry of Despair staff.             | |
              | |                                               | |
              | | Hope to hear from you soon!                   | |
              | |                                               | |
              | \-----------------------------------------------/ |
              \---------------------------------------------------/

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 -                                     X                          <[52]>     -
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                                      \ /
 |   The Public Outcry                 0                                      |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

Come to the Cracked Cask Casino for all of your gambling and financial needs,
featuring 3 levels of jackpots. Delanna hosts the 100 mill jackpot game in the
west room (Darrek's Corner), Adryanna hosts the 1 billion jackpot game in the
east room (An Ale Room), and Magdeline hosts the 5 billion jackpot game in the
north room (The Upper Bar). In the south room, Vitarla hosts multiplayer
blackjack. A daily lottery is also available on Orestes, using numbers from
the PA lottery, with a ticket cost of 100k, and a minimum jackpot of 5 billion
coins.
 
For those who wish to sell or buy equipment, there is Orestes the Auctioneer
and now banker. Items with a * can be bought, and the prospective seller can
put their item up for sale or for auction for as little as 1 hour or as long
as 14 days. There is a listing fee of 10K per item per day, with a 1% sellers
commission if the item is sold. Orestes now features interest paying accounts,
with a minimum deposit of 5 million coins, and higher interest rates for
deposits over 100 million and 500 million coins.
 
Orestes also sells heal potions, tanksets, truesight, sanctuary, demonskin, 
and dragonskin. Look at Orestes for current pricing.
 
-- Cyril

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                                      \ /
 |   The Public Outcry                 0                                      |
                                      / \
/|\=================================/|\v/|\=================================/|\

Sick and tired of leveling? Well, why undergo the agony and frustration
of it all when you could pay ME to do it for ya? My leveling services range
from a price of 400M to 1B depending on class/base stats, and to those
impatient ones out there, my services even come with a one(1) week guarantee!
Yeah you heard that right, you'll get an avatar within a week regardless of
class/race. And for those even more impatient ones out there, you could get
the avatar in half the time if you pay me double. So don't hesitate and whois
Aehhuat for more info.
 
-Aehhuat Godspeed

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