Cry of Despair - Issue 80 February 2004
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<<<<<<<<< ) ;C / \
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<<<<< \ ''''''' )
; <<< .......__/ _
.-''' ( ) | | _____ _____
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/ .-' . = . / |____\___/\_/\___|
_-''\_/ '. .' . /
.-' ) ;\ '''. . /
; .'''' `. ' ; ( ___
O -' .''' .' |_ _|_______ _ ___
.' .-'''''` | |(_-<_-< || / -_)
'o-' |___/__/__/\_,_\___|
___ __ ___ _
/ __| ___ _ _ ___ / _| | \ ___ ____ __ __ _(_)___
| (__ | '_| || | / _ \ _| | |) / -_|_-< '_ \/ _` | | '_|
\___||_| \_, / \___/_| |___/\___/__/ .__/\__,_|_|_|
|__/ |_|
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Guest Editor: Angelea Endymion Immortal Sponsor: Alysira
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Staff: Kentamya Khaimran Muiren Qaulorn Redric Sarakin Stozzter Simone Wiglaff
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|_ _|_ _| |__| |___ ___ / _| / __|___ _ _| |_ ___ _ _| |_ ___
| |/ _` | '_ \ / -_) / _ \ _| | (__/ _ \ ' \ _/ -_) ' \ _(_-<
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| Editorial Musings - by Angelea
| A Guild Renewed - by Simone
| Ask CoE - by Sarakin - Kali
| News Of The Realms
| - Guilds/Orders News - by Angelea
| - Nations News - by Romani
| - Quest Council Report - by Darshanin
| - The Symposium News - by Wiglaff
| Story Time - Heart and Home - by Irandel
| - Love Everlasting - by Wren
| - Uncle Sarakin's Storytime
| - The Life of a Medieval Knight - by Romani
| - The Art of Love - by Romani
| Realms Awards - by Alysira
| Funnies - Cheesy Valentine card - by Ransal
| - Strange but Funny Titles
| - 3133L Immortals
| - Darrek's Bad Day - by Racin
| The Wonderful World of Home Decorating - by Wiglaff
| Reunion Top 10 - by Simone
| Realms Poll - Socials - by Simone
| ASCII Art Contest - Results - by Angelea
| Public Relations Poll #3: Two-Handed Weapons
| The CoD Quest - January Quest Results
| - February Quest
| From the Quill of Alysira
| Personals - Valentine
| Public Announcements - Horse Nabbers, Beware
| - Advertisements
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| _|/ _` | | _/ _ \ '_| / _` | | | |\/| | || (_-< | ' \/ _` (_-<
|___\__,_|_|\__\___/_| |_\__,_|_| |_| |_|\_,_/__/_|_||_\__, /__/
|___/
by Angelea
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Ahhh February, *Ducks to avoid Cupid's arrow* the month
that makes our thoughts turn to affairs of the heart.
Whatever makes your heart go pitter patter when you think of it:
be it girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, friends, home, family, February
is the month to show those you love how you feel.
And speaking of family, the Cry would like to welcome a new
addition to the Staff, Stozzter. We will be seeing her work in future
issues I'm sure.
As guest editor of this month's Cry, I gave my heart and soul to
this issue as a gift to all of you, the players. My heartfelt thanks
to Alysira for this opportunity. So without further ado, I give you
the Love Issue. *Cupids arrows do not miss often, so watch out!*
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/_\ / __|_ _(_) |__| | | _ \___ _ _ _____ __ _____ __| |
/ _ \ | (_ | || | | / _` | | / -_) ' \/ -_) V V / -_) _` |
/_/ \_\ \___|\_,_|_|_\__,_| |_|_\___|_||_\___|\_/\_/\___\__,_|
The Return of the Guild of Warriors by Simone
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After a long break, the doors to the Guild of Warriors have been
re-opened.
First of all, how did they close? There is no simple answer to
this, and probably the most accurate way to describe it would be due
to unrest. Unrest between members, unrest with leadership, and unrest
with policy. It was evident the guild of old was not one prepared to
survive the shattering.
The unrest caused too much disturbance in the walls of Darkhawk and
the Duke ordered the Guild closed indefinitely. The months passed...
many members moved on to Orders of the realms, others to pursue their
own goals, and still some waited... waited for the doors to re-open.
Many groups of warriors banded together under new brotherhood and
tried to convince the Duke that the problems were solved and the hate
buried. However, the Duke was not convinced. The Guild required new
rules, and a new face. As such, after long last, preparations were
begun months later to once again open the mighty doors to the guild.
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A Guild Renewed by Simone
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A vote was taken amongst warriors of all age, the young,
the old, and the older yet. The news sent waves of warriors
clambering back to Castle Darkhawk, all with new energy and
promises for more understanding and a stronger brotherhood. Then
it was decided, Petrograd would usher the Guild into the new era,
with Odgit and Shimus by his side. Even after mere weeks the guild
boards were ablaze with new applicants, the Induction Team barely
able to keep up. Interviews were conducted night and day, with never
a quiet moment in the recruiting office. The guild has welcomed many
old blades and also many new ones within the walls of Krigare Torn.
Along with the new leaders, the guild councils have been
adjusted to allow for more opportunities for guild members to express
any concerns or ideas they may have. The sun shines bright through to
the peak of Krigare Torn where the flag beats strongly in the wind
once more.
'Honor above everything, brotherhood always.'
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by Sarakin - Kali
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Hi again folks,
It's time for another edition of Ask CoE. Again, Kali has
fielded some questions from all over the realms, and I thank him very
much for taking the time to allow us the CoE's insight into current
issues. If you have a question you want to see answered, please mudmail
it to me.
Sarakin
1. What was the reasoning behind introducing the fathomer class, and has
interest in it met your hopes and expectations?
While the fathomer class may be a relatively new addition to the general
community, it has been around since about 1997 as a concept.
Stoney started work on a pirate class. At the time, I wasn't a member
of the CoE, so I don't know any of the details of what was expected of
the class. He had completed some rudiments of the class before leaving
the Immortal ranks.
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Ask CoE by Sarakin - Kali
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Bede picked up the banner but decided that the pirate concept was
really too confining and ill-conceived to become a decent class
(If I paraphrase or slightly misremember, my apologies. I'm sure I
probably had some urging in this change as well). Bede requested the
change to fathomer, which was a combination of a wind/water wizard
with the old pirate concept. He made the movement based skills and
added some of the spells. Bede brought the class nearly to completion
before his departure and I tweaked out a few problems before the class
was implemented.
I think in some respects, the class was written off a little too
quickly by players and in other respects, we still have some more
development work that needs to be done. More fathomer oriented
equipment (read:with movement) and a review of some of the skills and
spells will probably draw more interest to the class. But, I fear that
almost any new class will have difficulty competing with the more
familiar ones.
2. Do you feel obvious problems in the deadly community (broken guard
mobs, cost of heals, etc.) are being addressed/fixed at a rate relative
to generally peaceful inclined problems?
I think first I must address the terminology in this question. The
'obvious' problems are frequently not brought immediately to proposal
form through PKC to be repaired, thus lengthening the turn-around
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Ask CoE by Sarakin - Kali
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time on many changes. While it could be argued that changes could
be dealt with as each individual player brings them up to whatever
Immortal they see first. This is more of a headache than it seems.
Not everyone agrees on what constitutes a problem, so making a change
for one individual frequently results in an equally loud uproar.
Also, if the queried Immortal says 'No', the issue gets shopped around
to any sufficiently high level Immortal until it is heard. But the
point of this paragraph is that while it may seem the turn-around on
deadly problems is slower, I would say the rate is about equal.
As far as changes that come through TS and PKC, I would say it depends
on the difficulty of the alteration. Proposals from both Councils are
added to the same list and not prioritized due to pkill or peaceful
status.
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Ask CoE by Sarakin - Kali
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3. Do you think the number of levelling areas in the realms is
adequate at present, especially for mid levels, to avoid overcrowding
and would a new area primarily for levelling be subject to more
scrutiny than say an area primarily for exploration (Valley of Mysts,
Abishai's Morgue, etc.)?
I think you will never see an 'adequate' number of levelling areas in
the current experience system. There will always be a push for more
mobs and areas so that one can level faster because no one wants to
spend time on levelling.
Would new levelling areas have scrutiny for badly built mobs that are
exceptionally easy to level on? Yes. We want mobs that give experience
and make levelling enjoyable for players, but we aren't going to
intentionally add badly built mobs to speed up the levelling process.
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| .` / -_) V V (_-< | (_) | _| | | | ' \/ -_) | / -_) _` | | ' \(_-<
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Guild of Clerics News Reports by Angelea - Exisia
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January has been a very busy month for all us Clerics within the
walls of Notre Dame De Sioux. As the year has changed so has our
leadership. We are very glad to have Carlie as our new Guild Second...
but of course, a new leader means someone left and we are all very sad
to see Silfaere leave. We all will miss her and wish her the very best.
What do Lord X, Jade, Danbala and Father Time have in common?
All runs done by the Guild of Clerics this month... along with about 10
others. Clerics Running? Yes. We not only heal, we fight... and we look
sexy whilst doing it!
Want to be one of us? I know you do! Are you level 20 or higher? Yes!
Well, all you have to do it read our GoC Guide and contact a CoC Member.
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Guild of Paladins News Reports by Angelea - Zanzidor
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The Guild of Paladin's been lacking in Cry submissions over the
last few months, but we've been busy! We have had several guild quests,
participated in several of the holiday quests and interguild quests.
We are proud to have Salidar, Korim and Sandrax back as Advocate (IT).
Sandrax also has taken over the great honor of being Head Advocate and
taking charge of our Recruiting Council 'The Advocates'
We are proud to add to our ranks the following new Paladins: Tyrian,
Jujhaar, Sardeth, Lucient, Corbett, Fafnir, and Plainta
Our Run Council also is increasing in membership and experience. Many
of our guild including older members are out and running the mobs.
And as a closing we are very proud to once again have a full leadership
team with Korim taking up the Guild Second position.
Come, join the Paladins and by our example, we shall lead!
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Guild of Rangers News Reports by Angelea - Norelle
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This past month has been a busy one for the Guild of Rangers. We
welcome our newest pledges: Aleurin, Halvak, Leanq, Llesinde, Phyron
and Silmarwen. Welcome to the tree, hope you have a lot of fun.
The newest full members are: Junhi, Maeuschen, Mossweaver, Rolynd and
Zloth. Congratulations on passing your reviews and making it into the
guild!
With Racin's stepping down as GM, we have a complete change of
leadership. Norelle and Gelroos were promoted, to GM and First,
respectively. Elections were held for the position of Second and the
winner was Hordiki. Congratulations to him and a big thank you to
the other nominees: Aralos, Jessel and Threlith.
The guild has also had a rash of birthdays, with Calafire, Junhi, Raza,
Llesinde and Maeuschen all turning a year older. Happy Birthday to you
and I hope your day was great.
If you're looking to join and are at least level 20, come by the guild
to check out the board or take a look at the guild webpage:
http://rangers.silverwolf-den.com/
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Guild of Thieves News Reports by Angelea - Silet
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The thieves' ways are always sneaky, on the outside, quiet, barely
existing, but on the inside, lurking, awaiting for the right moment
to strike. Such is the way of GoT.
Among the ones to fall at our blades were Kahl, S/O, Mandor, Black
Rose, Hellknights, Guenevere, Zeus and many more. Some progression
on ARC levels, Congratz to Aehhuat for making it to ARC-I, and
Knivel making it to ARC-DP
Newly added to our slay-fest team are: Salmarissa, Kanick, Issac,
Descemus, Caprayciox and Voulje who's returned to us. A warm welcome
to all of you, hope you've been enjoying and will keep enjoying your
time with us ;)
More on Council updates, PK is alive and kicking (Each other :p)
and SoS have been running around as always. We would also like to
welcome Laanmyki into the ranks of the mighty Scribes, let us avoid
DTs together for a long time more! :)
If you wish to learn more about the adventures of GoT and join to
experience it yourself, we are found 3s 2w n w of DH[], contact an
IT or Leader to receive more information about joining.
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Guild of Vampires News Reports by Angelea - Fuil
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The Guild of Vampires bids you welcome!
New to GoV this month are Kawtyn, Maraj, Maridia, and Restol. May
Aalakab have mercy on their souls.
This month was interesting. We ran, we played trivia, we pkilled, we
laughed, we cried, we ran with scissors.
If you are a vampire level 20 or higher and are looking for a home, why
not stop by our recruiting board (help map) and fill out an application
today? Visit our web site at:
www.guildofvampires.com
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Guild of Mages News Report by Angelea - Leonidas
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Greetings, Realms!
Once again, the past month has seen the Guild of Mages being a
veritable hot spot of activity. Our new leadership team have
successfully completed their first full month in charge of the guild,
losing nothing but their sanity in the process. A hearty
congratulations to all three of them.
The Guild's Necromancer Championships got into full swing this
month, with sixteen mages entering in an attempt to become the
PKill Champion of the Guild. With eight contestants having been
eliminated from the group stage, only eight more remain to contest
the knockout rounds and try and claim the Guild Artifact.
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Guild of Mages News Report by Angelea - Leonidas
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Our runners are continuing to bring back a variety of scalps
from their travels, including Corsterix, Bahamut and the Hellknights,
this month. January also saw the first Mages' Expeditionary Force
expedition, under the new leadership of Raususken, to the Underworld.
Meanwhile, there are rumours of whisperings in the upper echelons
of the Guild, concerning the mysterious forces which appear to be
changing some of the Guild's most powerful councils.
Anybody interested in learning more about the Guild of Mages is
advised to take a visit to:
www.guildofmages.com
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Ringbearers News Report by Angelea - Wren
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Love is in the air and it's all around at RB as well. On most days,
you can see 3 couples wandering the Realms from who RB. Coelit and
Lirotess our gracious and awesome Leaders, Sapetalus and Reatha, the
Mage duo and Osgiliath and Wren, the IT couple. When not doing their
duties for the order, you would prolly see them with each other in
some way. Like most couples they all seem happy with each other. And
being Valentine's this month they might just want a lil' privacy for
themselves.
There are also some new members that get to have (Ringbearers) at the
end of their title. Big Congrats to Ilena and Durril.
Other News: As usual RB is smacking around mobs and taking names. The
most recent being Cato, Seth, and of course Corsty :D. And of course,
can't forget the mobs we kill on a daily basis like Bammy, Brakky, Set
and then my personal favorite and practical 2nd home MoLS. Hope you
have a Happy Valentine's and the rest of the month from your friendly
neighborhood RBer's.
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News From The Nations by Romani
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Gralthai Nation
In this time of the Human occupation of Darkhaven, the Gralthai
have been busy fixing internal affairs and preparing our rallied
troops for the event of wars. With this in mind, we have promoted
Talaria as Senator and Vilari as Ambassador to all Orders and Nations,
a small change but I firmly believe that Vilari will do a great job.
In other news the Gralthai have expanded our frontier lines and
supplied them with allied forces around the northern plains.
*Signed with the seal of the White Rose*
King Aslan LifeWind Bloodthorne
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News From The Nations by Romani
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Aerandiri Nation
Another month passes, and the tides are still rolling in strange
news in the Lagoon...
Our Uelma, Wren, has been on her quest for outside knowledge for
some time, cutting her time that she can spend at the Lagoon. I, for
myself, have been occupied trying to find new ways to defend our
sacred ground in the various towns of our Realms. But there are good
news for us! Falennt has become the new Sea-Elf Nation Chancellor!
Congratulations, and may the tides bring you good luck!
** Signed with the crest of a Blade over a Shield **
Lyvelias of The Blade
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News From The Nations by Romani
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Khazad Nation
Declaration of War
Recently a meeting was arranged between Athane Alinaryth and
Miyaki, the Burm Thane. It was hoped that she would be able to change
his mind on what he is currently doing in Darkhaven or at least find
out his reasoning behind it all. Unfortunately, things didn't go as
planned.
Repeated questions on the whereabouts of Duke Luther or the
previous Burm Thane, Doyle, went unanswered and after much dodging of
any questions the Athane had and a few insults about her people, a
fight nearly broke out. There is only so much that any Khuzd can take,
even when trying to be diplomatic, after all.
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News From The Nations byRomani
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Khazad Nation
The mental state of Thane Miyaki is also being called into
question. Perhaps it is just normal behavior for his cowardly race,
(Yes, they are all cowards. After insulting the Khazad and instigating
a fight, they turned tail and vanished.) For being an Arch-Mage, he
seem to have a complete grasp on any spell he was trying to cast.
It seemed like he and Tonitrus were more akin to foolish jesters in
a Thane's court.
The Khazad are no longer able to just sit back and try to wait
this out. We are calling for all Nations under this ban imposed by
Thane Miyaki to unite. It is the only way we'll be able to drive the
craven Miyaki back to Lomar and restore Darkhaven to what it is
supposed to be: a free city where all Nations trade amongst one
another and, most important of all, neutral territory.
*From the desk of Athane Alinaryth StarProfit*
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News From The Nations byRomani
===============================================================================
Pixie Nation
This is PNN, Your source for Pixie News
Our Top Stories: Pixie Forces have entered Eldestra after the
withdrawal of Jhethen. Pixie clothing was found in the dungeons.
No Pixies were found alive.
Pixie forces withdrew from Eldestra, upon hearing information
on an encroachment of Shadowtrolls in the Ashen Forest.
The Pixie Colony in Dunhill reports a higher than expected
crop yield. Experts are surprised, as they were expecting that the
colony was going to have a shortage.
Kosaim has cancelled all contracts with the Grey Wolf
Mercenaries, and has recalled scouts working for Thirran, due to
"Ethical" reasons. No other comment was given.
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News From The Nations byRomani
===============================================================================
Ilythiiri Nation
Phalar Dryden's reign over the Ilythiiri has fully settled and
the houses now serve him and him alone. The dark children of chaos
now reach towards the outside world, presenting a split image of
their desires and intentions.
On one front, they, the Ilythiiri have allied with Miyaki and
the Humans to profit off new elven slaves captured within Darkhaven,
yet on the other, the offer words of peace to all but their rivals,
the hideous Quendi. Indeed, the drow have now stepped into the fore-
front of international politics, though why or what they intend to
achieve is still left in the proverbial shadows.
Within Iniquity's walls, business proceeds as usual, Qu'ellar
Be'lal under Ilharn Lyreth's reign begins to prepare for the import
of new elven slaves. However, the strange lights from the Academy
continue as the Archmagus Kevlaris works to calm the wild magics of
of the Underdark. And what of the Elohai Shaiel, surely her revenge
shall play a crucial role in the future of the drow.
Only time will tell...
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News From The Nations byRomani
===============================================================================
Dunedain Nation
*Ripped from a journal*
The end of days has come and past and after wandering through
the corpse ridden field I found my old allies under a new name, how
grand we can now continue to plight the world. After being ushered
into the new stronghold I was met with the same glorious faces of
our leaders plotting revenge, and reveling in our sour yet so sweet
victory over our vicious enemies...but, something was not quite as
it should have been, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach and my
gut told me not to ignore it regardless of how my heart wanted to
dive into the celebrations. Days passed, then weeks, I could see the
changes now, not just sense them as I did the first days of my
return. I went to my studies, somehow the demonic powers holding the
Nominis seeped into my kin through the final battle, how, I had not
the time nor the resources to figure out. I had to act fast, I
protected myself with what little counter magicks I could conjure
before the same evil magic seeped into me. My only goal now is to
free my allies of their demonic possesion, by any means possible,
even death. I need a force to support me but how...maybe... I can
seduce these weak-minded lunatics to aid me.. I fear that is not
enough.. I need more, more manpower.. but how..
*That is the only eligible entry, everything else is scribbles and incoherent
wordings*
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News From The Nations byRomani
===============================================================================
Dunedain Nation
The late King Doyle has handed his reign to me, Lord Miyaki. For
those that need a reminder, the town of Darkhaven has been thrust
under my complete rule after the Duke graciously gave me command.
For.. safety, several races have been barred from the town, these
include the elves, half elves, sea elves, dwarves, and the gith.
Should you be caught wandering the town you will be quickly imprisoned
The human lands have been united, new outposts on our borders, for
added protection, and the army of Excordis has been deployed to
support the human soldiers in all locations. If you are not banned and
are walking through Darkhaven, pay no attention to the overwhelming
number of them. They may babble and rant in an odd language, but pay
no heed they are harmless. I hope everyone enjoys their stay in
Darkhaven, or away from it as the case may be.
*Signed with his own still warm blood*
Miyaki
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News From The Nations byRomani
===============================================================================
Opallinoc Nation
From the Opallinoc News Bureau:
Dateline Opallinoc - The annual Winter Solstice Festival saw a large
gathering of the Uruk'hai around the Great Bonfire reliving their
triumphs. A variety of food and drink were provided by Meeka. The
famous pickled pork ears and ladyfingers were big crowd pleasers.
Voracious appetites made short work of these delicacies.. Then Meeka's
legendary swill was served. A new record was not established this time,
it took over an hour before the first inebriated blow was struck.
Bedlam ensued. The line to the Shaman Hakupa formed quickly. Bedlam
again raised its head. Kathak wielded his forge hammer indescriminately
throughout the town. Occam brought out the packets of pungent salve.
As the sun set, the Great Bonfire was stoked by the broken, discarded
and unwanted artifacts of the Uruk'hai. The flames were alledged to be
visible in Edo. Another round of the infamous Swill was passed around.
The loud snores were said to make the eltor beasts of the Plains howl
and bleat.
Plans for the Equinox are under way.
Dateline Auction House - pay attention to what is being auctioned and
what you are bidding on and lastly the amount you are bidding. Don't
be laughed at.
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===============================================================================
Quest Council Report for 2003 by Darshanin
===============================================================================
In the year 2003, around 200 quests were conducted by members of the Quest
Council. This adds up to over 27,000 glory points awarded, and over 5 billion
gold coins. An average of around 2.5 quests per month were created by each
member of the Quest Council, which amounted to about an average of 12 quests
per month. Hopefully we can see some similar and better results this year.
Congratulations to a hard working Quest Creating Team!
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The Symposium Council Report by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
Passed by TS:
* Add to spell helpfile - if it is brewable
* 'Ambidexterity' - Skill used with the dual wield skill - would enable
users to hit equally well with both weapons. * Pending rewrite
* Containers with backwear location to show over cloak - This would allow
a character to use config +cloak and still have their backwear container
over their cloak.
* 'Help scroll'- fix to helpfile - will include magical tablet as a means
of identifying items.
* 'Locate object' change to - would show multiple corpses even in rooms
that have the same names. Easier to do corpse retrieval.
* Naming Pets - would offer a predetermined list of names to choose from
to pet buyers * Moved to TS member forums for further work.
* 'Wear', 'Wield', 'Remove' - new helpfile
* 'North' 'No' - Change to commands, so 'no' does not equal 'north' as a
safeguard. (See also 'No''North')
*B* Make the mud return a 'Huh?' when no is entered to save on DT's.
* Pets, Change to - pets could be ordered to go in directions
* Pets to be allowed into Hometowns * Moved to Forums for further work.
* Repairshop adjustment - repairshop mobiles would tell a player that they
do not have enough gold to repair an item using a different coloured say.
* 'Starlight'- minor change to Starlight - make it level 1 so anyone can
use twilight's beacon irregardless of the level of the caster
* 'Whois brief' - toggle for 'whois' so you don't have to see the full bio
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The Symposium Council Report by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
Denied by TS
* +/- config option for "just reached Avatar" message - It was felt that
the small amount of spam created by the message was not something deemed
worthy of having a config option attached to it. Coding time can be better
spent doing other projects that will benefit the game.
* +rp config toggled to off at logon - It was felt that those who want to
rp have the toggle on for that reason and do not need to toggle it back on
each time they log on.
* Changing styles - Since there is already a prompt token that can be
colourized, TS saw no reason to add a colourised version of the message
when changing styles.
* Lowering the level of PvM for the two handed skill - It was felt that it
is fine the way it is now.
* Lowering the damage for NASR - It was felt that this weapon was fine the
way it is now.
* Mob damage messages - change so message reflects a damage range, rather
*Wthan a percentage range of the total HP of the mob - It was felt that
this was unnecessary and would give some too much of an advantage in PvM.
The messages we see now are sufficient.
* 'Note vote'- change - to allow voters to recast their vote. This was
denied in the past 6 months at VC/CoE level. It will not be covered again
for a while longer.
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The Symposium Council Report by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
Denied by TS
* Pet naming - using auth code for weeding out illegal names - It was
felt that this would mean immortal involvement. The immortals already have
enough work as it is without getting into pet name authing.
* Pet naming - using existing algorithms, pet names would be generated
- It was felt that this would take up valuable resources that could be used
elsewhere to further develop the game.
All of the passed proposals will be moved to On Hold to VC, except for
helpfile changes which will be moved to VC immediately. Check "News" as
some have been implemented.
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The Symposium Council Report by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
Passed by Council of Elders
* Druid Meditate Adjustment - Stat based gains
* Tanning Hides - Used at area authors discretion
* Manadh Taosq (PKC) - Deadly only druid spell
* EQ Damage messages (PKC)
Denied by Council of Elders
* 'Solar Flight' - It was a big move for the imms to remove 'astral' from
all classes but mages and a backpeddle to go and introduce 'plant pass',
'solar flight' etc. We aren't looking to up any of them.
* Whois addition - whois is getting rather large and this doesn't look like
something that's particularly useful.
If you have any questions about the TS proposals or any of the CoE/VC pass
or fails, ask a TS rep, and if they don't know they can find out for you.
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___ _ _____ _
/ __| |_ ___ _ _ _ _ |_ _(_)_ __ ___
\__ \ _/ _ \ '_| || | | | | | ' \/ -_)
|___/\__\___/_| \_, | |_| |_|_|_|_\___|
|__/
A varied assortment of stories gathered from the Realms
===============================================================================
Heart and Home
The shrill alarm was heard throughout the premises clearly and
loudly. All activity stopped immediately and a deafening silence
surrounded us all. Then the alarm again. This time there was no
silence in the pause before the alarm came again. The sounds of
footsteps thundered in the catacombs, armor was donned and blade and
daggers unsheathed. No one had any idea exactly what was happening
but we were all armed to the teeth and prepared for battle. The
mighty guild of thieves was ready for anything and anyone.
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Heart and Home by Irandel
===============================================================================
Angelea ran into the room, bristling in armor and her blades
prepared. "Even as we speak our enemy comes toward us! Everyone
ready yourselves to defend our home," she said in a clear voice.
Right about then Abelard marched into the room, wearing something
that might have been armor a very long time ago. "Didn't think
I'd miss out on the fun did you?" he asked, his grey eyebrows
waggling mischievously. "Right," continued Angelea raising an
eyebrow at Abelard's armor, "Go get shields from our good Delostin.
We will group up in different squadrons with the leaders of the
councils heading each one. Here's how that will work out: Ardaria
will lead one team, Zilensko will lead another, Feydd will lead the
third, Adelia will lead the fourth and the last will be lead by Tuile.
Silet, Gilaeformo and I will coordinate the defence. We need three
thieves in each group as a minimum. Everyone please, to your stations!"
yelled Angelea as a flurry of activity broke out once more.
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Heart and Home by Irandel
===============================================================================
I quickly noticed that Zilensko's group still had room for me.
Our group had been sent to protect the entrance from Thieves Alley,
along with Ardaria's group. We were the first line of defence.
Gileaformo came up two minutes later informing us that he would help
our post. I glanced around us, we had seven thieves gathered here:
Gileaformo, Ardaria, Zilensko, Knivel, Ransal, Taonmyk and I. We
looked at each other slowly, solemnly, knowing that this could be the
last day for any of us. Gileaformo sent us to our positions, saying
that we would suprise the first wave by making them think that there
was no one here. Angelea came up shortly after that, wishing us the
best of luck and quickly dashing back to help the defence of the inner
guild.
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Heart and Home by Irandel
===============================================================================
We waited in silence, hidden in the warehouse behind various
old crates and boxes, not a sound except a slow, rythmic dripping
coming from the roof. In a complete rush of adrenaline I heard the
far off sound of footsteps thundering down the alley. The time had
come. The footsteps came, louder and louder and then... stopped.
An even more terrifying silence followed as I tried to figure out
exactly what had happened. Even before my mind had time to assimilate
it all, a multitude of figures ran into the hall leaping for the
entrance. Shadows turned into blades, as Zilensko and Gileaformo
assailed the attackers that were attempting to enter the guild.
The rest of us appeared on cue and attacked from behind. From then
on time had no meaning as my blades became a part of my body,
warding of blows and stabbing every unprotected enemy I could find.
I felt something warm dribbling down my left hand noticed with an
indifferent shrug that my left arm was now useless.
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Heart and Home by Irandel
===============================================================================
Stubbornly, I kept at it, ignoring the pain, bodies now littered
the entrance and still the fight continued. I stabbed an ugly face
that suddenly loomed from the shadows and whirled around seeking for my
next opponent. But there was none... I looked around me. The place was
a slaughterhouse. I counted 3 figures still standing but couldn't
distinguish faces. My sight began to blur as I noticed many wounds over
my body. My knees gave way first as I lost consiousness.
When I awoke, I was laying on a cold stone slab with blankets
covering me. I tried to move, pain wracked my body, memories and
flashes of the fight came flooding back at me. I fought my pain and
stood. On either sides of my bed were two bodies, that of Taonmyk and
Ransal, breathing, thankfully.
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Heart and Home by Irandel
===============================================================================
As I left the room and went to the bar I heard sounds of laughter
and storytelling. I entered the room and was surprised to see many
other thieves, not one without a bandage or wound, but all with smiles
on their faces. Angelea, with a broken arm and a nasty wound on her
shoulder stood and said, "Irandel! Good to see you're back, we were
just sharing a few stories from ages back. Do join us!" I did, and
gladly listened to how the great past leaders of our guild had fought
similar battles to the one we just had. I heard of the great
accomplishments of Rast, Gultar, Kirg and Kinux, and of the defence
held by Alania and of the attacks lead by Leala, and Uimato.
As I looked around I realized that I had at long last found a
family that I could call my own in the world which we call the Realms
of Despair.
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Love Everlasting by Wren
===============================================================================
Not Love at First Sight but Love at First Kiss
It was a regular dreary day in the Realms when a lil' cleric
was leveling with some friends in Mithril Hall. Wren, the
Cleric, was soon to be introduced to the love of her life,
Osgiliath. Osgiliath and Wren got along great from the
beginning and didn't start to hang out on a regular basis
'til after the fall of GoW. After that, Osgiliath was pretty
much the only person Wren hung out with, by choice of hers alone.
Soon after they started actually hanging out together alot,
he asked her if she had any characters that she wouldn't mind
marrying him with, mainly for friendship. She said sure, and
started planning the wedding for her warrior and Osgiliath to
get married. Soon after, he got into Ringbearers. Osgiliath was
inducted a week later and 2 days after that they were married.
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Love Everlasting by Wren
===============================================================================
Over the next few weeks and a couple of months their true
feelings for each other came out as they fell in love.
Nowadays, you can see them travelling around Realms together
most of the time joined at the hip, if not grouped together
with their band of characters. Osgiliath having a love of
pandas has formed the Panda Patrol which most everyone has
seen wandering around. And Wren, having an affinity for
Tigers has happily named her crew the Tiger Patrol. If you
catch either Osgiliath or Wren wish them luck in love which
they are bound to have in the future.
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Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Gather round all you young'uns, its storytime!
Woah, its been a busy few weeks for me. Eh, you .. the little
round kid, stop playing with my cane. I broke my fastest wheelchair
in the round-the-hallway race against my arch nemesis uncle Aslan!
He claimed to love newbies more than I did, so I challenged him to
a race. We flew around the yard, but my wheelchair got caught on a
passing lowbie and we both took a fun trip to Sonoria to get healed
up. THATS IT! Put down my cane! You! The round one! Ok, my belt is
coming off, you want that? Ahhhhh now my pants have fallen off, you
cheeky one. Ah well, dont come calling me next time you get eaten by
a shadowshark!
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Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Well with me going around running over newbies and breaking my
wheelchair I couldnt get out to interview one of you, so instead I
woke up our newest NC member aunty Babui to come and have a chat.
Uncle Sarakin: Eehe aunty Babs, how have you been?
Aunty Babui: Bewildered my dear uncle Sarakin...the world is spinning..
Babui looks up at the heavens and cries out, "why? why? why?"
Uncle Sarakin: Those wheelchairs do go a bit crazy sometimes, believe
me, so whats new anyway?
Aunty Babui: Guess what! I got inducted into NC!
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Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Uncle Sarakin: Hot diggity! Just like me! How are you finding it?
Aunty Babui: Pretty groovy I must say, a new bunch of people to meet
in the council as well as newbies =)
Uncle Sarakin: Sounds great! Look, nurse Loril is here with our stuff!
Babui eyes Loril hungrily, and utters the word 'Braaaaiiiinnnnnns...'
Hrm, maybe it's time to get outta here.
Uncle Sarakin: Before I put my teeth in, hows it going you hip young
cat Loril?
Nurse Loril: Couldn't be better, Uncle Sarakin. The party last night
never ended so sleep didn't ever become something to fit in.
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Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Uncle Sarakin: Yeah, I saw you shakin it! But aunty Babs truly has her
groove on, with the funky half step shuffle :) Thanks
for bringing our medicine!
Uncle Sarakin: Hmmmm, so back to you Babs, your NC application didnt say
why you hate dragonflies so much?!
Aunty Babui: Well..being a young'un and all I didnt know about the cage
mobs, so I go into the academy naked...
Uncle Sarakin: *interrupts* I still do that sometimes, hehe.
Aunty Babui: *glare* and the dragonflies kept slaughtering me!
Aunty Babui exclaims 'Mean, mean dragonflies!'
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Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Uncle Sarakin: Aw poor aunty babs, oh well, im back off to bed, wake me
up if they start another crazy game of over 1700's tag :)
Thats right everyone, Babui is the newest member of the NC, so make sure
you stop and say hello to her! She's truly a hip young chick, almost as
hip as Loril!
Well, let's take a look at another great item, remember our magical
tablets and the identify spell you've heard about?
Object 'a book entitled "50 Ways to Heal the Dying"' is infused
with your magic...
It is a level 5 wand, weight 1.
Locations it can be worn: hold
Special properties: magic
This wand has a gold value of 0.
Has 3(3) charges of level 16: 'cure critical'
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{44}
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===============================================================================
Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
It's not really a great read, but if you use it properly you can easily
heal yourself! Go and pay a visit to my friend Old grandpa in Tullfuhrzky
Manor if you want one of these.
So in my never ending travels as a playboy/NC member I have come across
another great area for you young'uns, its called Land of the Fire Newts!
What's a fire newt I hear you yell? I dont know either, but I wouldn't
want to be stuck in a dark alley with one
Yes, this area is full of them! Some are made of lava, some are
made of fire, and some are just downright ugly! They live in
a system of caves and tunnels, and the lower down you go the meaner
they tend to get, especially that nasty Newt Master. I had to
muscle past his bodyguards just because I didnt make an appointment!
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{45}
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===============================================================================
Uncle Sarakin's Storytime by Sarakin
===============================================================================
Well kids, thats another storytime for you, keep going exploring
and next time you can all show me the nifty stuff you've gone out
and collected!
Join me again next week for more adventures in the Realms. Hey you!
the round kid, give me back my cane!
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{46}
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===============================================================================
The Life of a Medieval Knight by Romani
===============================================================================
* A series of articles on the life of a medieval knight.*
Dearest Father,
I am but a humble Paladin in the service of my lord. I am seeking
to share lessons of my life with those that wish to be knowledgeable
in the finer arts of life, love and the ancient codes. The Art of Love
is not one taken lightly. It serves more purpose than self-fulfillment
and is a very noble pursuit. The true knight loves, and loves deeply,
sometimes to his death. I serve a lady, though she knows not that I do.
I linger near her, protect her, and watch over her to my dying breath.
I hear tales from the king's servants that she is arranged to be wed.
Though my heart, filled with jealousy, I shall always be there to
protect and serve her. While wondering amidst the castle gardens I saw
my lady as she plucked a single white rose.
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{47}
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===============================================================================
The Life of a Medieval Knight by Romani
===============================================================================
She stood there, lingering was a single white petal fell from it
to the thick garden lawn. I carry that single white petal in a small
pouch next to my heart. I have never spoken to her, to do so would
break my vows. No one knows of her save my comrade in arms. He is still
searching for one worthy to devote his life's existence to. He is a
strong man in battle and has never known defeat. Yet, I worry that his
love of the fight shall interfere with his devotion to love.
Your humble servant, and devoted Knight,
Signed simply - T
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===============================================================================
The Life of a Medieval Knight by Romani
===============================================================================
Original rules from "The Art of Courtly Love"
by Andreas Capellanus (circa 1250)
* Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt
embrace its opposite.
* Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
* Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair
that someone else is engaged in.
* Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of
shame forbids thee to marry.
* Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
* Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.
* Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt
ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.
* In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present.
* Thou shalt speak no evil.
* Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
* Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.
* In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires
of thy lover.
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{49}
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===============================================================================
___ _ _ _
| _ \___ __ _| |_ __ ___ /_\__ __ ____ _ _ _ __| |___
| / -_) _` | | ' \(_-< / _ \ V V / _` | '_/ _` (_-<
|_|_\___\__,_|_|_|_|_/__/ /_/ \_\_/\_/\__,_|_| \__,_/__/
by Alysira
===============================================================================
Over the past few years, the Cry of Despair have brought you a little sunshine
known as the RoD Awards. In it's fifth glorious year, we have oodles of
categories for you to vote for all your friends, or maybe even the people who
you feel deserve these awards. Many of these categories are the same as the
previous years, with several new additions.
The votes will be collected by myself and Qaulorn, the guest Editor for the
month, via MUDmail. To vote, please set out your MUDmails in the following
fashion:
To: Alysira Qaulorn
Subject: RoD Awards Votes
Category 1: (Player1), (Player2), (Player3)
Category 2: (Object1), (Object2), (Object3)
And so forth. If there are any questions, please direct them to
me (Alysira) via tells or MUDmail.
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{50}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
Entries must be mudmailed to Alysira and Qaulorn before February 22nd. Winners
will be announced in the next issue of the Cry of Despair.
Rules to Voting:
You may only have one voting sheet per real-life player. If it
is known that you have used more than one character to vote,
all of that players votes are nulled.
You do not have to vote in every category, you can vote in
whichever categories you wish.
Entries handed in after the 22nd are not valid.
Keep your nominations within reason.
The categories will be listed on the following pages. Remember, you do not
have to vote in all categories, but please remember to write on your voting
note which categories you are voting in.
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{51}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
Categories:
1. Best Male Immortal
Which male Immortal works the hardest for the MUD?
2. Best Female Immortal
Which female immortal have you felt have done their best?
3. Best Male Roleplayer
Who's the most natural male roleplayer?
4. Best Female Roleplayer
Who's the greatest drama queen we have?
5. Best RoD Couple
Who are the cutest couple to hit the scene?
6. Best "New change" to Realms
Over the past few months, what's the best change that has happened?
7. Worst "New change" to Realms
And which recent change has made you cringe?
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{52}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
8. Best Guild
Which Guild has been the greatest in all aspects of the game?
9. Best Order
Which Order has proven itself worthy?
10. Best Clan
Which Clan has the most feared reputation?
11. Best Area
Which area always has you on the edge of your seat?
12. Best Nation
Many nations are springing to life. Which is the livliest?
13. Best Food Item
Which food can you almost taste in your mouth?
14. Best Drink Item
Which drink quenches your thirst the best?
15. Best "Treasure" Item
Which is the most prized treasure of the land?
16. Most Likely to DT
Which player always gets themselves into sticky situations?
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{53}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
17. Best Dressed
Which player just leaves you in awe when they enter the room?
18. Most Likely to be Balzhured
The one award you DON'T want the pleasure of winning.
19. Best Rename
Which player has the greatest rename, in your opinion?
(When voting for this category, please be sure to list the rename beside the
nominee's name).
20. The "Fruit" Award
Which player is just nonsensical, goofy and overall least likely to score?
21. Best Social
Which social do you find a use for in EVERY situation?
22. Best Male Player
Which male player has inspired you?
23. Best Female Player
Which female player leaves you with a good impression about herself?
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{54P}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
24. Most likely to get illegally PKilled
It happens, we know it does. Who do you think would deserve this award more than anything?
25. Most likely to be the one to illegally PKill them
People and their short tempers. Who would be the one to snap and attack?
26. Most charismatic deadly
Which deadly stands out above all others with their outstanding personality? Be
it bad or good.
27. Most charismatic peaceful
Which peaceful comes to mind when you think of most charismatic?
28. Most interesting help file
Out of the hundreds of help files, which one still makes you laugh, cry or
scream when you think of it?
29. Most interesting room
Some rooms come to mind when you want to hang out or just idle. Which one do
you perfer?
30. Best Runner
Who comes to mind when you have an itch to go on a run?
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
31. Best explorer
Who is the first one to have directions and EQ to the new areas?
Someone that you trust to guide you to safety.
32. Next-to-Imm
This player has contributed a lot to the realms community in the last year and
if another person was to Imm, this person should be that Imm.
33. Most eligible Bachelor
What gentleman invades your dreams at night, ladies... and some men as well?
34. Most eligible bachlorette
Which graceful bachlorette invades your daydreams, men... and some ladies as
well?
35. Best Female Character Played By A Male
Many players make their real identity no secret. Who plays the female character
the best?
36. Funniest person
Who makes your sides hurt and your lips sore from laughing so much?
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{56}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
37. Sickening Goodness (the biggest Goodie Two-Shoes)
Someone in the Realms tries very hard to be the best, the most
pure, the most innocent, never to do anything wrong. Who is it?
38. Ugliest Player Name
Whose name just reeks of unoriginality and ugliness?
39. Nicest Player Name
Who has the most original, best looking name?
40. Most Unique rename.
Not neccesarily the best. Who owns the rename that stands out the most?
(When voting for this category, please be sure to list the rename beside the
nominee's name).
41. Craziest Player
Who is the most outspoken, weirdest, and just generally insane player?
42. Most Dedicated Leader
Which leader shows the most exceptional skills when dealing with their
organisation? (They may be a Guild, Order, Clan, or Council Leader)
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{57}
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===============================================================================
Realms Awards by Alysira
===============================================================================
43. Best Quest of 2003
Which quest gave you so much thrill and suspense last year?
(When voting for this category, please be sure to list the name of the Immortal
who ran the quest)
44. Most Frequent to X-Chan
Who always lets the most awkward sentences slip onto the wrong channels?
45. Most Likely To End Up With QWERTY On Their Forehead
Who's idle so much that you swear they fall asleep at the desk?
46. Most Likely To Have No Life
Which player seems to lurk here 24/7?
47. Most Frightening Immortal
Who strikes fear into your heart whenever they log?
48. Most Frightening Player
Which player intimidates you everytime you see them?
Remember to vote wisely and have fun! The winners of each category will be
published in next month's Cry of Despair.
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{58}
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===============================================================================
___ _ ___ _
| _ \___ __ _| |_ __ ___ | __| _ _ _ _ _ (_)___ ___
| / -_) _` | | ' \(_-< | _| || | ' \| ' \| / -_|_-<
|_|_\___\__,_|_|_|_|_/__/ |_| \_,_|_||_|_||_|_\___/__/
Gleaned from far and wide. Watch out, these may cause uncontrollable laughter!
===============================================================================
From Ransal: Cheesy valentines note to give to the ladies
,,, ,,,,
.;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;,.
.;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,
.;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.
;;;;;@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;' ... ....
;;;;@@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'...... ........
;;;;@@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'....... ...........
`;;;;@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@;;;;;;;'.....................
`;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@@;;;;;'..................;....
`;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;@@;;;;'....................;;...
`;;;;;;;;;;;;;@;;;;'...;.................;;....
`;;;;;;;;;;;;' ...;;...............;.....
`;;;;;;' ...;;..................
;; ..;...............
`' ............
' ......
' ..
' '
|I know I am not a looker '
|But, at least I am not a hooker
|And since I do not cost a dollar
|Mind if I give you a hollar?
(send number on reply note)
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{59}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies Strange but Funny Titles
===============================================================================
Knivel guildtalks 'and the best christmas card i got all year was "You've
been naughty, so here's the scoop. All you get is snowman poop!
(cotton balls glued to it)
Tokai Du'ithil mixes business with leather
Borath is the Never Ending Stoooorage, falala lalala lala
Jilet, what no man can get.
Qaulorn- FOR SALE: Morals. Rarely used. Going cheap.
Vilari: No, I will not give you gold. Don't ask.
Moonbeam; Things haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Fafi is blonde. The only gold worth fighting for. . .
Elbanon BlackMoon says "And this one time, at bard camp.."
Guf the Goof.
Abelard is older than Father Time himself
Brendan; sometimes real men just need to snuggle.
Karo Syrup! Use to sweeten anything! Good anytime!
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{60}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies Strange but Funny Titles
===============================================================================
Tae Chocolata is the only REAL pimp in the GoT!
Norelle wonders why the walls are padded
Exisia's halo is slipping down... to choke her now...
Chaiz laces his Spiral Blasts with Sexual Frustration.
Darryl Is An Etch-A-Sketch In A World Full Of Laptops.
Even Ascendere can be spammy...
Kerrazze-,dP""8a "888888b, d8b "888b ,888" (Ascendere)
Korrazze-88b " 888 d88 dPY8b 88Y8b,8888. (Ascendere)
Kirrazze-`"Y8888a 888ad8P'dPaaY8b 88 Y88P888. (Ascendere)
Kyrrazze-a Y88 888 dP Y8b 88 YP 888. (Ascendere)
Kurrazze-`"8ad8P'a888a a88a a888aa88a a888a.(Ascendere)
Karrazze--------------------------------------- (Ascendere)
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{61}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies 3133L Immortals
===============================================================================
For those wishing to speak to the elite of Realms, here are their names in
Leet speak.
|=0R 7|-|053 |.|15|-|1n6 70 5p34k 70 7|-|3 3|,173 0|= R34|,|'|5, |-|3R3 4R3 7|
-|31R n4|'|35 1n |,337 5p34k.
Immortals 1|'||'|0R74|,5 Immortals 1|'||'|0R74|,5
Thoric .......7|-|0R1( Blodkai ......|3|,0|)k41
Kali .........k4|,1 Nivek ........n1V3k
Altrag .......4|,7R46 Dria .........|)R14
Darrek .......|)4RR3k Edmond .......3|)|'|0n|)
Moonbeam .....|'|00n|334|'| Taboo ........74|300
Ceirana ......(31R4n4 Stoneheft ....570n3|-|3|=7
Conran .......(0nR4n Kinux ........k1n|_|+
Raltaris .....R4|,74R15 Selina .......53|,1n4
Loril ........|,0R1|, Myra .........|'|YR4
Destre .......|)357R3 Darshanin ....|)4R5|-|4n1n
Alysira ......4|,Y51R4 Mumra ........|'||_||'|R4
Yeroc ........Y3R0( Shadrack .....5|-|4|)R4(k
Herne ........|-|3Rn3 Phred ........p|-|R3|)
Ilsensine ....1|,53n51n3 Romani .......R0|'|4n1
Cappadocius ..(4pp4|)0(1|_|5 Linda ........|,1n|)4
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{62}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies Darrek's Bad Day
===============================================================================
The set up...
Racin wonders 'any other questions?'
Haldrin shakes his head.
Darrek drops The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
A voice booms 'Right! One...'
A voice booms 'Two...'
Racin flies west.
A voice booms 'FIVE!'
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{63}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies Darrek's Bad Day
===============================================================================
The Murderer frustrated...
Before a Vallenwood Tree
Talaria: Darling, darling, I live in you; and you would die for me, I love you so.
Lilcal: as in... 'Lil Calafire... that's me..
Duncon the Avatar
(Ascendant God) (Hide) Darrek is shrouded in a demonic aura.
Racin flies in from the west.
You hear someone's death cry.
Talaria says 'gone :('
Darrek laughs out loud!
Racin rolls on the floor laughing hysterically.
Lilcal chuckles politely.
Duncon peers intently about the area, looking for thieves no doubt.
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{64}
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===============================================================================
Realms Funnies Darrek's Bad Day
===============================================================================
The Denouement...
Racin says 'killed the poor recruit'
Darrek looks innocently about himself.
Darrek says 'Racin's too quick :( ...or paranoid''
Darrek winks suggestively at Racin.
Racin guildtalks 'ROFL Darrek just killed my recruit'
Lopuis guildtalks 'and why is that *grins*'
Lilcal guildtalks 'erm, how?'
Racin guildtalks 'dropped a hand grenade on us, but i got away'
Lopuis guildtalks 'racin has nightterrors from darrek granades'
Haldrin flies in from the east.
Haldrin wonders 'why was I killed?'
Racin points at Darrek accusingly.
Haldrin nods solemnly.
Darrek wonders 'suggest I get laid?'
Racin nods in agreement to Darrek.
Racin says 'you need it i think'
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{65}
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===============================================================================
_ _ ___ _ _
| || |___ _ __ ___ | \ ___ __ ___ _ _ __ _| |_(_)_ _ __ _
| __ / _ \ ' \/ -_) | |) / -_) _/ _ \ '_/ _` | _| | ' \/ _` |
|_||_\___/_|_|_\___| |___/\___\__\___/_| \__,_|\__|_|_||_\__, |
|___/
The Wonderful World of Home Decorating by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
This month's rooms are both from the same couple of people,
Goomra and Foamfoller
They have sent in an ASCII room description and a text one :)
Keep sending in your room description, as we are seeing lots of
different styles and some creative pieces.
Wiglaff
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{66}
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The Wonderful World of Home Decorating by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
Chief Planning Room of the Bunny Secret Service
. . . .
. .
. .
. .
. / .
. >o==< .
. \ /\ /\ .
. //\\ //\\ .
. || || || || / .
. || || || || >o==< .
. || ||_ || || \ .
. / \ .
. | O O | .
. ---\-- ^ ----/-- .
.' `'`'`'. ---Q---- ```````````\ .
. '`' '`'.. | `. `. `.`. ` `@@ .
. .. , `'` `'`'. / /----------/ / .
. {{}} / /'`''`'`'../ / .
. !' '`' /--- | /----- |'`'`'. .
. \!/ '`' ----- '`' ------- '`' '`'' .
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Exits: [east] up down northwest southwest
Embedded in the southern wall, a fireplace burns with intensity.
Submitted by Foamfoller
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{67}
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===============================================================================
The Wonderful World of Home Decorating by Wiglaff
===============================================================================
The Boudoir
Blood, when used as paint, can be a very effective and striking gloss
in an enclosed room. The room before you is such an example. White, or
rather _blood_washed, the room has a clinical feel that is particularly
appropriate to, say, mad scientist's laboratories or drunk surgeon's
theatres. It is not surprising, therefore, to find a small sign in the
corner of the room, fingerpainted in some form of vital-organ slurry,
saying "Mayde bie Goomra". There are random newbies nailed to the wall,
combined with rotating hamsters used for ventilation. But as we all
know, darlings, red is _so_ cliche.
Exits: southeast
A bed of oak, wrapped like a gift in the finest sheets, invites its examiners
to rest on it.
Submitted by Goomra
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===============================================================================
___ _ _____ _ __
| _ \___ _ _ _ _ (_)___ _ _ |_ _|__ _ __ / |/ \
| / -_) || | ' \| / _ \ ' \ | |/ _ \ '_ \ | | () |
|_|_\___|\_,_|_||_|_\___/_||_| |_|\___/ .__/ |_|\__/
|_|
by Simone
===============================================================================
10 Reasons to come to the reunion this summer:
10. It's the 10th anniversary and it's gonna be huge.
9. You can watch Jarrok and Garrund stumble around drunk for 96
consecutive hours.
8. Experience the Tim Hortons frenzy in which we have no idea
where one is but find one anyway within 30 seconds of wherever
we are.
7. Meet all the nice immortals and mortals of realms.
6. Throw water balloons at the not so nice ones.
5. Watch Thalasian try and pick up chicks.
4. Listen to Typh's reasoning in person on where he got his name
from, and how frustrated he is that no one knows and pronounces
it wrong anyways.
3. Canada has beautiful people, and you're already legal at 19!
2. Meet Thoric, he's actually real, and a real cool guy.
1. Listen to everyone try and pronounce your character's name
(Why did I have to pick a damn statname?! Come to think of it,
everyone says Simone differently, and even I don't know which one
is right so you can just be like Azrielle and call me Skippy.)
See you there!
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===============================================================================
___ _ ___ _ _
| _ \___ __ _| |_ __ ___ | _ \___| | |
| / -_) _` | | ' \(_-< | _/ _ \ | |
|_|_\___\__,_|_|_|_|_/__/ |_| \___/_|_|
Which one of the following wants to make you hit the sender? by Simone
===============================================================================
"roflmao, and he thought he wuz l337 lol, but I'll brb so ttyl."
To a random sample of the realms, I posed the following question.
Out of: brb, lol, ttyl, l337 and roflmao, which one makes you most
want to hit the person who just said it?
What do you think is the most annoying abbreviation?
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===============================================================================
Which one of the following wants to make you hit the sender? by Simone
===============================================================================
Results:
brb: 0%
lol: ||||||||| 18.75%
ttyl: ||| 9.38%
l337: ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 65.62%
roflmao: ||| 6.25%
I wonder if this is a message for all the l337 speakers!
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===============================================================================
_ ___ ___ ___ ___ _ _ ___ _ _
/_\ / __|/ __|_ _|_ _| /_\ _ _| |_ / __|___ _ _| |_ ___ __| |_
/ _ \\__ \ (__ | | | | / _ \| '_| _| | (__/ _ \ ' \ _/ -_|_-< _|
/_/ \_\___/\___|___|___| /_/ \_\_| \__| \___\___/_||_\__\___/__/\__|
Contest Results by Angelea
===============================================================================
Only one submission was made. Thank you to Sylvinia for
her interpretation of the meaning of Valentine's day.
Please come and see me for your prize :)
=======================================
_ _ _ _ _________ ___
_/\_ | \| | | | |_ /_ / | | __| _/\_
> | .` | |_| |/ / / /| |__| _| <
\/ |_|\_|\___//___/___|____|___| \/
=======================================
The true meaning of valentines day
=^^= For my Kelly *kiss* Wuv you! =^^=
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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===============================================================================
___ _ _ _ ___ _ _ _ ___ _ _
| _ \_ _| |__| (_)__ | _ \___| |__ _| |_(_)___ _ _ ___ | _ \___| | |
| _/ || | '_ \ | / _| | / -_) / _` | _| / _ \ ' \(_-< | _/ _ \ | |
|_| \_,_|_.__/_|_\__| |_|_\___|_\__,_|\__|_\___/_||_/__/ |_| \___/_|_|
Public Relations Poll #3 - Two-Handed Weapons by Alysira
===============================================================================
Greetings all!
As you may remember, last month's poll was asking for your opinion on the
changes to two-handed weapons.
How do you feel about the changes to two-handed combat?
1) Like them
2) Don't like them
3) Indifferent
Unfortunately, there weren't enough results gathered from this poll to form an
acurate response. Since the interest in participating in these polls has
somewhat... Vanished... I'm going to stop posting these. Sometime soon
something else will come along to replace them. Remember, the information
collected from these was going to the HA to be used in certain projects!
Oh well =)
For everyone, if you want to suggest something for the HA and don't want to
spam the 'Idea' list, you can always contact any member of the HA.
(Read 'help ha', use it!!)
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===============================================================================
___ ___ ___ _
/ __|___| \ / _ \ _ _ ___ __| |_
| (__/ _ \ |) | | (_) | || / -_|_-< _|
\___\___/___/ \__\_\\_,_\___/__/\__|
January's Quest Results by Alysira
===============================================================================
Well, everyone's settled in to the New Year by now, and many people responded
to last month's quest! The following two people's "New Year's Resolutions"
were selected as the winners, good luck keeping them! Or maybe, not keeping
them... Congratulations to...
Kirgan and Triran!
Please see Alysira for your prizes ASAP. Here are the winning Resolutions.
Trirans-
My New Year's Resolution!
1. To win every quest I can.
2. To get 1,000,000,000 gold coins.
3. To make a warrior order thats samurai based, with cool sticks we hit each
other with.
4. To get a pet monkey.
5. To kill the beastly living tree type thing that killed me the first time.
6. To get a cool sword then change it so its called "The holy dancing sword
of unholy might"
7. To live the life o'ryely.
8. To start a war between the deities.
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January's Quest Results by Alysira
===============================================================================
Kirgans-
*This battered piece of parchment, splotched with stains from many
blessedly unidentifiable sources, reaks of alchohol and vomit. The
lettering is blurred and the dirt from many boots trodding upon it
makes the prospect of reading it even less appealing, but your eyes
are innecplicably drawn to it, as if some outside force compels you
to read the words scralled upon it.*
The New Years Resolutions of Kirgan Hardhammer:
Eight easy steps to maintain a daily workout and loose 10 pounds.
1. Make peace between all the peoples of the realms, even the deadlies.
2. Create a realms wide peace syndicate that will disarm all and destroy
all the weapons.
3. Put together the first Hardhammer Peace Prize.
4. Have a hippy parade with all the happy hippy people (everyone!!), including
the bunnies who shouldn't be picked on.
5. Turn my peace syndicate into a crack hippy killing machine, destroying all
who are follish enough to stand and oppose me, and enslaving those who
crumble at the sheer might displayed by my most mighty self.
6. Kill all the bunnies, cause they are evil!!
7. Become the unoppesed ruller of the Realms, with every immortal at my feet,
except for Thoric, cause he's uber cool, and Kali cause he'd hurt me...and
any of the other ones who scare me too... Okay, lets forget about the
immortals.
8. Have a harem so I can keep motivated and workout half an hour every day
and loose ten pounds.
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February's Quest by Alysira
===============================================================================
Ahh, the month of love, romance, and roses. Everybody loves Valentines Day! Or
at least, everyone with a date loves Valentines Day.
On this very special day, nobody should be without a partner. Your mission this
month is to write up an imaginary date between any mob of the Realms, and you!
Or, another mob, if you really want.
The two most creative entries will be selected as the winners. You have until
the 20th of February to MUDmail your entries to me. Good luck, and have fun
with this!
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===============================================================================
_ _ _ ___ _ _ _
/_\ | |_ _ __(_)_ _ __ _ *, ___ / _ \ _ _(_) | |
/ _ \| | || (_-< | '_/ _` | (_-< | (_) | || | | | |
/_/ \_\_|\_, /__/_|_| \__,_| /__/ \__\_\\_,_|_|_|_|
|__/
From the Quill of Alysira by Alysira
===============================================================================
Greetings all.
This month we have welcomed Angelea as our Guest Editor, and welcome Stozzter
to the team. Stozzter is an ASCII artist, a very talented one at that, and I
know that we shall see some great things from her =)
Next month we welcome Qaulorn as the Guest Editor, and wrap up the RoD Awards!
Please remember to vote in as many of the categories as possible, your votes
are what make these fun! Have a lot of fun with this, and the Quest!
-Alys
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===============================================================================
___ _
| _ \___ _ _ ___ ___ _ _ __ _| |___
| _/ -_) '_(_- _ _
/_\ _ _ _ _ ___ _ _ _ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ _ _| |_ ___
/ _ \| ' \| ' \/ _ \ || | ' \/ _/ -_) ' \/ -_) ' \ _(_-<
/_/ \_\_||_|_||_\___/\_,_|_||_\__\___|_|_|_\___|_||_\__/__/
Horse Nabbers, Beware!
===============================================================================
*Written in old common, scripted in troll blood, on cured troll flesh*
Jello Citizens,
Upon my travels last night I ran across a local stable hand who sold me
a beautiful black mare, her name is Grappler. Upon arriving in Eldestra,
I had hitched her up to the hitching post at Jaten Boat house on the lake
shore surrounding Eldestra. Upon my return from Eldestra, I returned to the
boat house to find my mount had been stolen from the hitching post by horse
nabbers.
Grappler can be easily identified by the collar around her neck saying
she belongs to GelRoos. Should you come across this mount please return her
in safety to the Rangers Guild in New Darkhaven. Upon her safe return, please
either notifiy me or one of this prestigeous guilds' members of the return of
Grappler. A very generous reward will be offered for her safe return.
May thy paths be green and the breeze at thy back,
GelRoos Wee-Jas, Ashen Forest Guardian, Gae'eloh
Sealed in Troll Blood Emblazed with a white plummed arrow.
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Public Announcements
===============================================================================
/---------------------------------------------------\
| /-----------------------------------------------\ |
| | | |
| | Have something important to say, but don't | |
| | have anywhere to say it? | |
| | | |
| | Consider advertising in the Cry of Despair! | |
| | | |
| | Organization leaders, wedding planners, | |
| | anything and everything appropriate will be | |
| | considered, formatted to your liking, and | |
| | posted here free of charge! | |
| | | |
| | Just MUDmail your annoucement to Alysira, and | |
| | y it will appear in the CoD the next month! | |
| | | |
| \-----------------------------------------------/ |
\---------------------------------------------------/
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{80}
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Public Announcements
===============================================================================
/---------------------------------------------------\
| /-----------------------------------------------\ |
| | | |
| | Are you looking for a new challenge in life? | |
| | | |
| | Want to meet interesting, and even not-so- | |
| | interesting people? | |
| | | |
| | Want to discover new aspects of the game? | |
| | | |
| | Want your voice to be heard by the whole MUD? | |
| | | |
| | And... Want to get paid for it all? | |
| | | |
| | Then look at a career in journalism! Send a | |
| | short application and sample article via | |
| | MUDmail to Alysira if you're interested in | |
| | joining the Cry of Despair staff. | |
| | | |
| | Hope to hear from you soon! | |
| | | |
| \-----------------------------------------------/ |
\---------------------------------------------------/
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{81}
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Public Announcements
===============================================================================
Come to the Cracked Cask Casino for all of your gambling and financial needs,
featuring 3 levels of jackpots. Delanna hosts the 100 mill jackpot game in the
west room (Darrek's Corner), Adryanna hosts the 1 billion jackpot game in the
east room (An Ale Room), and Magdeline hosts the 5 billion jackpot game in the
north room (The Upper Bar). In the south room, Vitarla hosts multiplayer
blackjack. A daily lottery is also available on Orestes, using numbers from
the PA lottery, with a ticket cost of 100k, and a minimum jackpot of 5 billion
coins.
For those who wish to sell or buy equipment, there is Orestes the Auctioneer
and now banker. Items with a * can be bought, and the prospective seller can
put their item up for sale or for auction for as little as 1 hour or as long
as 14 days. There is a listing fee of 10K per item per day, with a 1% sellers
commission if the item is sold. Orestes now features interest paying accounts,
with a minimum deposit of 5 million coins, and higher interest rates for
deposits over 100 million and 500 million coins.
Orestes also sells heal potions, tanksets, truesight, sanctuary, demonskin,
and dragonskin. Look at Orestes for current pricing.
-- Cyril
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Realms of Despair
Wizlock 
Down