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Cry of Despair Issue 66, 12/02
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The Cry of Despair staff welcome you to a special edition, the..
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Editor: Alysira Immortal Sponsor: Elisabet
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Staff: Ganemanoimu, Gawen, Ilsensine, Juliana, Kellandra,
Khaimran, Shadia, Shadrack, Simone, Vaile.
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Contents CoD, Issue 66
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( >o< )
Desk of the Editor ,%%//'\\%%.
News from around the Realms %%'V V`%%
The Emoted World, Nation News %%. ,%%
Guilds and Orders *%%. ,%%*
Rants from the Summit *%%%%%*
Articles dedicated to the holiday season...
"How to...", A Christmas special
The Ideal Christmas Gift
The Holiday Season
Funnybones
Stories and Poetry
Advertisements
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Desk of the Editor - by Alysira Editor
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Welcome everyone to another issue of the Cry of Despair!
I'm pleased to present to you another wonderful issue. Our
staff members have been working hard this month to bring you a
special edition, one we have dedicated to the coming holidays.
Some of our staff members have created special articles in
honor of the holiday season, we hope you enjoy them!
As the holidays draw closer, it's that time of year where most
of us are in a busy rush to finalise our shopping, to be
closer to our family and friends, or just getting caught up in
in the excitement of it all. Whatever you get up to this
Christmas, we hope you enjoy it and are safe.
For those who do not celebrate Christmas, however you spend your
holidays, please keep yourselves safe and enjoy the holiday
season, and have a wonderful new year!
Take care everyone, and we hope you enjoy another wonderful
issue of the Cry of Despair.
-Alysira
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Guild and Order News - by Kellandra News
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Guild of Augurers -
The Guild of Augurers would like to welcome a new Guildie,
Crizack, in the Guild and hopefully he will feel at home pretty
fast. Also welcome back Fanelyn and Jeldokic.
Congratz for Ygg as our new webmaster. Thank you to Baka and
Dorinda to have done some first work on the improved Auggie site.
Pkill time came and passed here in the GoA. After many bloody
battles 6 auggies remained; Zellon, Yeroc, Jeldokic, Miguel,
Hyde, and Calgon stood as victors among the lower fights. Five
auggies came (Miguel missed the final Pkill) to duel it out for
the trophy. Narrowed down to two remaining suvivors the evil
Jeldokic fell to the scorching flames of Calgon.
Congratz to Calgon on his winning of the Trophy! Many thanks to
all the Imms who oversaw the various duels.
Your GoA reporters,
Mitsuru Nightwalker
Jeldokic, The Jele Gang
Guild of Clerics -
The GoC was happy to spread the love of the sacred dirty carrot
on to new Guildies Cadeus, Rotanti, Dizzen, Adie, Talnaris,
Othagyle and Althalas.
April, Lys, and Cleryst have become Angelic Assassins and are
ready to take out any mobs in their way!
If you are intrested in finding out more about the Guild of
Clerics and their kumquat obsession, please feel free to visit
the noteboard nw,2w,2n,e,u of DH [] or visit our webpage at
www.dirtycarrot.net :)
Guild of Mages -
Our leaders are working to update the structure of the guild
groups such as War Mages, Mage Apprentice Program, and the Web
Page Council. We look forward to great things here.
Congratulations to Futhark for making the GoM Quest Council
and Rebeca for making the Mages Expeditiary Force.
Guild of Paladins -
Elections for Second are over, Congratulations to Linemitri, our
new Guild Second. GoP is also hosting this month's IGQC!
Guild of Rangers -
Sunne and Laguana became the newest members of the guild.
Welcome to the Guild, and we hope you find your new home
comfortable.
Edhelaina, Illiomin, and Vercelli passed thier Pledge Reviews,
we congratulate them on a job well done, and welcome them to
full membership and all its privileges.
Zargon has stepped down as our Guild Second, we thank him for
his efforts during his time as a leader. Good Luck to you in
what ever keeps you away from your friends in GoR Zargon.
The election to replace Zargon is underway, we look forward to
having a new Second shortly.
Order of MaidenStone -
The Order of MaidenStone would like to extend its warmest
welcomes to its newest members; Acona, Aviendha, Sylvinia, Sian,
Tazzie, Sia, Wisper and Treyna.
Two members also attained the treasured rank of Covenant this
month, well done Aurale and Frances.
The order wishes to congratulate Rikuo on her recent promotion
to Head of the Battle Mistresses. In addition, belated congrats
to Aurale and Hope on their respective promotions to Heads of
the Quest Mistresses and Trade Mistresses. Good work everyone!
A huge welcome is also due for the newest immortal to join the
ranks of the order - welcome Darshanin!
The MaidenStone website is up and running at www.maidenstone.org,
thanks Tical for registering the site for our use.
Applications to the order are currently open. Those interested
in applying should read help maidenstone and help 'ms
applications' for more information.
The Order of Ringbearers -
We of Ringbearers would like to let Realms know of our newest
acolytes; Shervington, Ogerajin, Lillith, Hobinay and Poromenos.
We hope they enjoy their time with us as much as we enjoy them.
Induction Team is there for anyone who wishes to enquire about
becoming a part of Ringbearers.
Thanks,
Hermoyne.
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The Emoted World - by Shadia Nations
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(As always, this is OOC..)
The night sky lights up in torrents of hellfire as the Six
burn Iniquity to the ground.
As many have already heard about the destruction of Iniquity,
the Ilythiiri (Drow) Hometown, not many, but the Six themselves
know of the reasons behind behind this plot. The consquences of
their actions not only destoryed the City, leaving not one, but
two Nations leaderless. Leaving many to stop and wonder, Why?
Of course there many answers that to question. Which will not
be explained in this article. What will be said is that the
reasons behind this morbid display of humor was not without
good reason.
The Six included at the time, Valsharess Shadia Del'drae,
Ilharess Drakona Del'drae, Phalar Dryden, Salmarissa, daughter
of the void and Solarius Silver-Moon. It was a very unexpected
plot that was completed in one night. A very dreadful night.
Death herself called to them all, and they obeyed willingly,
with the help of the Daughter. The Pixie Queen, Shelaine lit up
the shadowed sky with an aray of hellfire and Solarius took bit
by bit of Lloth's (The Drow's evil Goddess) statue for himself.
Combining the Six's blood in a river of darkness, the the City
perished instantly. Leaving nothing, but one building standing,
The Tales of Conquest. The Six left the City never to return..
and never to look back...
The City of Iniquity is consumed by fire as the very legions of
hell are released.
These two Nations are currently having elections for their next
Nation Leaders. If anyone has questions, feel free to send a tell
to anyone active within the Nation or check the Noteboard in
Hometown.
As for the other Nations? Everything is quiet and calm at the
moment. If anyone wishes me to add anything for next month, please
mudmail me or send a tell. Anything is welcome.
Until next time... Shadows Protect.
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Guilds and Orders - by Ganemanoimu G+O
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Guilds/Orders.
After reading a particular note, I felt that I had to offer my
own opinion about Guilds and Orders, and how they affect our
world of the Realms. Personally, I belong to an order and a
number of guilds, and have for a number of years now so you
might say my view is a bit biased, but I'll try to remain as
objective as possible.
Guilds and Orders all tend to have a group of people dedicated
to the induction of new members; CoC, IT, IC, CDS, etc., for
the sake of simplicity, I'm merely going to refer to these
groups of people as IC's (Induction Councilors).
The Difference?
Guilds and Orders do have some fairly significant differences.
Guilds are all determined by class type, while Orders have
their own restrictions such as class, align, gender, etc.
Guilds are mortal-run but do have some assistance from the
Guild Overseer (currently Ceirana), who assists all of them in
their needs. Orders have their own deities and often
assistant deities.
Guilds are generally made up of people who are newer to the
game and aren't as committed, while in Orders you may find a
greater number of hardcore players. While this is true in
general, I have known Guilds that are far more active or
involved than Orders and I strongly dislike the idea that
Guilds are training grounds for Orders.
Orders/Guilds tend to give as much as you put into them. If
you're giving nothing, expect nothing in return.
Getting In.
Guilds tend to all have the same general process of getting
in. You talk to a member of their IC, get an interview and
then assuming you pass that, a quest. There are slight
variations and you may get an extra quest or two but assuming
you did all right in your interview, completed your quest on
time, you'll be inducted. In interviews, they look for people
who are friendly, active, helpful and will be committed to the
guild. No-one wants someone who is going to log once in a
blue moon to make fun of other Guild members. On the same
note, Orders are also looking for the same kind of people.
However, because Orders tend to be more selective, they often
demand reference notes from other people. It also is a great
asset if you have people already in the order. Why is this?
It's not simply a form of cronyism or the old-boys-network,
when there is someone already in the order that can vouch for
you, there is someone who is there to take responsibility for
you if you do something wrong. This becomes even more
important if you dont have reference letters from well known
people. Plus, there is always a scapegoat if you do get
kicked out. Orders tend to set more demanding requirements
and often the entire order will be involved in a voting
process which will determine whether you're in or out.
Reputation and your previous accomplishments and problems will
all be brought into the light.
Expectations and Demands.
Most Guilds and Orders have some kind of probation or trial
period. During this period you're expected to act like an ideal
member, otherwise risk expulsion at the end of this time
period. Generally you're expected to act like a representative of
that Guild/Order in public at all times, and not to embarrass or
smudge their name. Guilds and orders will both tend to kick you
out for long periods of inactivity. Mostly it just involves
being a good citizen of the Realms and helping out your fellow
Guild/Order-mates when they're in need, and you cant do that if
you're not even online, so that counts too.
Choosing One.
So how do you know where to start? Well, you can view all the
Guilds and Orders by those respective commands and take a look
at their basic info. Help map shows all the Guilds, as they
all have their HQs within DH. Drop in to read their induction
boards and see how the questing process and such works.
Most Orders have help files and you can read those at your leisure
to find out about these organizations. Another good source is
web pages, where links can be found off the RoD homepage.
Word-of-mouth is really the strongest advertisement and
talking to people, especially those who are or have been in
the order is really beneficial too. Once in a while do a who
so you know who is part of that organization
and whether there is anyone there that you particularly like
or dislike.
Conclusion.
There really isn't a best Order or Guild for everyone because
they're all very unique. Many focus on different aspects of the
game, like RP'ing or running. Ultimately, it is about the people
in these organizations that determine how they are.
Try to remember that its not just you judging the organization,
but the organization judging you. If you're a spammy one on
avtalk and are considered annoying by many people, you may want
to rethink your habits. You'd be surprised how many people watch
channels, but dont say very much. Intentionally getting other
people killed in MKill quests might be fun for you too, but that
will reflect poorly on your gamemanship and will be considered in
the end.
With that in mind, not everyone has to join an organization either.
Non-orged people have their place in the Realms too, and shouldn't
be looked over.
Whatever you do, make sure you pick whats right for you!
Gane.
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Rants from the Summit - by Ganemanoimu RftS
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Not Looking for gold, eq, chars, email me at...
Ive decided to write my own little column about how I feel about
some things. I like to think it is my prerogative having played
this game for a while, an old-timer if you will. Anyway the issue
I'd like to talk about today is a trend that has been increasing
because I can barely remember it at all during my younger years.
Though admittedly, back then, there wasn't even a traffic channel
and I was always chan -avatar.
I think the common pitch goes something along the lines of:
Seth, clan, gloried eq for trade, not looking for gold, eq, chars,
contact me at myrodname@hotmail.com or ICQ #123456789.
They dont say it explicitly, but you know exactly what they mean
by exclusion. Simply speaking, they want cash, real life cash.
It galls me to think that people are so openly blatant about it.
Buyers and sellers should all be deleted. No one will miss a few
of the thousands upon thousands of pfiles on this server.
Officially its illegal and those found involved will be punished
harshly. Unofficially, it still happens and thousands of dollars
trade hands.
You want to talk about balance? This more than any class, race or
align change messes things up. When a 3-month old newbie walks in
with gloried clan, what has my years of running and questing meant?
It is also pathetic, because then that person is saying, I lack
the skill and patience to earn eq, so I will spend my cash to earn
it, and essentially buy respect. To me, this ranks even lower than
gold-diggers, because at least gold-diggers have the patience to
get someone to believe they love them. Not that eq earns respect or
that respect can be bought. Generally, if a person has nice eq,
one thinks "Wow, this person must be a pretty good runner". When
people show up with this kind of eq, yet you know that they have
never left DH, the few conclusions to be drawn are never flattering.
Not that I can really blame the people who sell. Most have played
their share, done everything they wanted to do, why not make a
monetary return on the thousands of hours of time they have
invested?
I'd like to point out one anecdote that I'm sure many old-timers
are familiar with. I'll leave this players name unmentioned though
most people know it. Needless to say, he chose to purchase a
rather rare item for a tidy sum of cash. In his continuing wisdom,
said player chose to place this eq on a deadly char where it was
promptly looted. This mentioned, his name continues to be a source
of amusement and a lesson in gross stupidity. As well, the buyer
runs the risk of having the seller hold out on him. Then who do
you complain to? The Imms? The police? Hrm, Balzhuring or public
mockery, and neither choice leaving you with cash or EQ. Talk
about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Did I forget to mention, that this has happened as well? Well it
most certainly has.
Unfortunately, demand breeds supply, not the other way around.
Those of you out there who do buy, need to realize that while you
may not be known to Imms, those who do know you know you've hit the
ultimate low. It's cheap, it's degrading and it's detrimental to
the moral atmosphere of the mud.
Ganemanoimu.
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How to... - by Ganemanoimu How To
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How to Get a Mudwife for Christmas!
So, it's almost Christmas and you're thinking about curling up
in front of the fireplace on a cold winter night with your little
... Uh-oh ... Stuffed plush toy? Blow-up doll? One of your
lowbie alts? Clearly, this isnt going to work.
No luck for the last couple years in real life? Looks like it's
time to hit the mud-dating scene and get yourself a mudwife!
So how do you begin? Well lets look at the facts.
A few thousand players, of which a small fraction are actually
females. An even smaller fraction of them real females.
You have to make yourself look different, and stand out from the
crowd. A bit of skill at the game, a dash of sensitivity, a
pinch of humor and a slathering of buffness.
Right, so lets start with you. Deck yourself out in your buddy's
best eq, or even buy eq with that credit card if you're feeling
really desperate. Brush up on all the latest eq terms.
Dropping words like DI, bbliv, pgen, will catch the attention of
any lady gold digger who is overly liberal with her charms.
Now it's time to hit the town. Drop by Guild/Order hangout
spots, the lounge, public noteboards, public channels, basically
anywhere where you can start up a casual conversation. You can
even try joining some Orders/Guilds or participating in quests to
meet those elusive girls. Once you meet them, make sure they
really are girls or risk being the laughing stock of all your
friends.
Since you aren't much of a charmer given your previous successes,
try to impress her. Drop some big names and casually mention the
fact that youre well-versed in the deep lore of the game. You
can say things to make you seem elite, just dont go overboard
and start saying things like 'I am the Seth king and have killed
him 2315235 times since the Shattering!'
Little lies can slip through, but big ones tend to trip the lie
detector.
Flash some big pieces of eq using the swap command or remove an
expensive weapon to read a note. Offer to take her on some runs,
or if she's more of a social creature, just give her some nice eq
outright.
A little humor doesnt hurt either. Just remember that your favorite
drinking jokes probably aren't going to get you far.
Let's assume you've managed to slip through that awkward "getting
to know you" stage and you're getting pretty tight with her now.
Shower her with little sentimental trinkets like cuddly dragons
and flowers. Your credit card does have a limit, and you wouldn't
have to sell your car or something to keep her expensive habits up.
Plus, your buddy probably will want his eq back sooner or later.
Throw some lyrics in your bio and keep sappy honey-coated sayings
in your title.
Once you're convinced she's serious, pop the question in some
romantic room in the starlight.
Set up your wedding day and get an Imm to help you out so you can
invite the entire Realms and finish with a nice world echo.
Then its time to reap the rewards of your new mudwife. Nice arm
candy, and someone to talk to.
Now you can see what everyone else has been talking about and what
the fun really is like. Not to mention that once its all over,
you can accidentally go link-dead and avoid that fussy post-coital
chatter.
If you somehow muck something up along the way in this flawless
process, just get another alt and start over. If it gets bad and
you ever find yourself at a point where you think your heart has
been broken, just remember that its just text and a game. Plus,
theres always real life, right?
Gane.
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The Ideal Christmas Gift - by Alysira Ideal Gifts
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"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..."
For most of us, this line ends in tradgedy. Unwanted gifts,
tucked sadly away in a closet, never to see the light of day. I
for one hate to see poor, neglected gifts, so I set out on a
mission. I asked many people "What would be your ideal Christmas
Present?" in the hopes that these wishes may be granted, and
gifts will no longer go unwanted!
Meade - Lots of money :(
Asmodeous - Cable internet connection *sigh*.
Sealom - A pet scorpion named Gandhi.
Kendron - The latest, greatest computer, methinks.
Rialian - IRL-Wise, I'd really like a laptop :P
Kali - I think my ideal Christmas present would be the
means to give everyone I know everything they
deserve.
Nemser - An end to Religious based wars.
Edhelaina - I would really like a free new car. Ford
Lightning sounds about right.
Skaphia - The ideal Christmas present, here or IRL, for
me would be more time in general - because I
always seem to be short on it :P
Qex - Well, there's not a whole lot I want persay,
but I'm a big fan of candy and fire so just a
bunch of candy and getting to sit by a warm
fire just groovin :)
Beedricks - Most likely to spend Christmas with my family :)
So there you have it, the wants and needs of many of our dear
MUD'ers. Let us not forget, that Christmas is a blessed time
of sharing, loving, and hope, and although gifts are nice, it
is always the thought that counts ;)
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The Holiday Season - by Simone Holidays
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Dear Reader,
I am sorry to report I do not have a great mystery of life
solved for you today. I have, during my travels, been entranced
in a certain phenomenon eminent throughout the realm.
The shattering has brought vast change, the once stable magical
flux, now left in much more volatile state. The profound effects
of this event have reached the heights of the mighty gods, the
depths of blue oceans, and everything in between. In Darkhaven,
many of you are lucky, in not having felt the entire brunt of
the shifting. I can tell you, others were not as lucky.
As my journies carry me to distant lands, I see once prominent
and flourishing colonies in a new state of distress. Their way
of life has been altered like never before. All the creatures,
birds and aquatic life are dealing with unspeakably harsh odds.
As I previously mentioned, I am witnessing an interesting
phenomenon as I observe the changes to the land. This phenomenon
is none other than a new harmony for these creatures.
Many should have surely died out in the days following the
period of the shattering, however they are still present and
beginning to strive once more.
Harmony you ask? I've seen a great harmony now between once
hostile species. They've come to the conclusion that they each
have qualities and disadvantages, and unless they can put their
differences aside, everything will be wiped out.
It is touching to watch new alliances and friendships form. To
watch the real magic of giving and caring, especially in such
dire time. Any selfishness or greediness, at this point, have
been the cause of the demise of select few, however in general,
by leaning on each other some stabilization is occuring.
I hope this message of harmony reaches you in time for the
holiday season and gives you something to think about.
Simone
PS. It looks like the scriptures are going to have some massive
updates ahead.
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Funnybones - Collected by the CoD Funnybones
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Words of wisdom, by Ganemanoimu
-It's important to know your limits, but you'll never know
them by just guessing.
-You dont have to be a mechanic to know that a tire is flat.
-Sweeping generalizations and derogatory language are always
stupid.
-A humble opinion is approximately as useful as a dull knife.
-You are only as clean as your towel.
-A step backwards is a step in the right direction if you are
facing in the wrong way to begin with.
-There are only three things in life that are certain; Death,
taxes, and computer upgrades.
-One should not wear earmuffs in the land of the rattlesnake.
-Those who can, do. Those who cant, end up as your boss.
Arcanic house of... Slavery?
Terri the sexy ... [Dominatrix]. (Arcanes)
Kortir Silverleaf [Sex Slave]. (Arcanes)
Leaha the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Angelina the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Sheryl the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Lee the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Kristine the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Lavender the sexy ... [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Shelaine [Slave for you]. (Arcanes)
Zinaida. [Arc Slave]. (Arcanes)
Cortir Silverleaf [Sex Slave 2]. (Arcanes)
Bob: The Battery-Operated-Boyfriend [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Cimorene, Snippy Princess [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Debra Pelaez, Karen's plotting mother [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Parcifal, Sensitive Seer [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Karen Pelaez, Innocent Temptress [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Mendanbar guards the vault, biznatch [Slave]. (Arcanes)
Psyche, the Gold Crowned [Favorite Slave]. (Arcanes)
Muiren. (CoL Lead)(Scout)[NC:OFF] [Mistress]. (Arcanes)
[Newbie Council]
Desperada works here[Sex Slave Supremo Mister Roboto]. (Arcanes)
Ingenue Calylia [Scout][Sleepy Slave]. (Arcanes)
Guild of Paladins? Guild of Fraggles!
Geoffrey the Doozer, watches and waits....
Zanzidor is the Green Fraggle .
Telemnar Vancour, Fragglemaster.
Vibra is Gobo Fraggle .
Leutra Hunnicut the Fishy Fraggle -Pledge-.
Makavelli Lionheart, Baslam Fraggle .
Linemitri Lionheart is Brool Fraggle .
Orcadian Lionheart is Brio FraggleRC.
Chayron is Mokey Fraggle .
Josilyn is the perky Purple Fraggle.
Limbler the Pointy Fraggle .
Sinfonian is the Translucent Fraggle (Advo).
Poros the Yellow Fraggle (pledge).
Korim Vancour is the Killer Fraggle .
Alyssia the Black Fraggle .
Radinov the Rad Fraggle (pledge).
Tseng Lionheart is Murray Fraggle.
Submitted by Vibra of the Guild of Paladins.
Maidenstone, newly reformed petting zoo.
A Kitty Cat: Boredom is an artform. [Head QM][Covenant].
(MaidenStone)
A Fox is sly. (MaidenStone)
A Pink Panther The Quite One. [Inductee].
(MaidenStone)
A Sheep that can quantum [Head BM][Bloodletter]. (MaidenStone)
A Dolphin: MaidenStone's Lil Twin Star [TM][Covenant].
(MaidenStone)
---------------------------[ IMMORTALS ]-----------------------
(50) A Turtle.. So choose me, and take on me.. Dance with me
again... (MaidenStone) [Code Council]
You tell Skaphia 'Hey :) bs g'
You growl
Skaphia tells you 'laugh'
>reply bah :(
Alderon tells you 'So, Tull Manor you say?'
You tell Alderon 'bah :('
Alderon tells you 'what? whats wrong?'
>reply gah, it was an xtell :P
Jeriron tells you 'Zdarrrova!!!' (- dont ask :P)
You tell Jeriron 'gah, it was an xtell'
Jeriron tells you 'what was?'
>reply this was!!! mutota...
Imilial tells you 'You still need the spoils?'
You tell Imilial 'this was!!! mutota...'
Imilial tells you 'wth?'
Skaphia tells you 'you're still neutral?'
>reply yep. Forever and ever
Jeriron tells you 'you're stupid!'
You tell Jeriron 'yep. Forever and ever'
(at least one reply hit its mark.... :P )
Dont reply with lag!!!
Submitted by Shaolong.
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Stories and Poetry - Submissions Stories
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I will not.
I will never stop fighting
I will never bow down
I will never surrender
I will never shut up
You can call me 'weirdo'
Call me stubborn if want
You can point your finger
But don't expect me to run
I won't say that I'm sorry
If I think otherwise
I won't say 'Thank you, friend'
If you don't even try
I won't ever be smiling
If I feel bad and sad
I won't bow before someone
Just because he's an Imm
Yell and scream, curse like crazy
Hate me if you like it so much
Just never expect me
To do what I don't want
I will not.
Submitted by Shaolong.
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If you had a chance to ask the Council of Elders something about
gameplay, what would you ask?
Do you want to know when we are going to have pasta somewhere?
Do you want to know why thief mobs only keep a percentage of what
they steal?
Or do you want to know something else?! If so, mudmail Vaile with
your questions today!!
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From the Staff of the CoD: Thank you for reading!!!
Feedback? Comments? Fan/hate mail? Submissions? All are
welcome at the CoD public boards, located: e,s,2u,s,w,s
from Darkhaven Square or south of quills and parchments
on Market Street.
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Realms of Despair
Wizlock 
Down