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Interview: Iliana; Journey of the Sun and Moon; Jaryl's 15 minutes of Fame



Submitting Mortal Staff:
Alendil, Alerious, Alisia, Apollonia, Azrakare, Barentin,
Begaria, Conran, Dein, DekkatH, Elaria, Elbanon, Goomra,
Laine, Lorel, Nimue, Nitsuj, Odessyus, Saraphin, Sarig,
Shamisen, Shingo, Thalasian,
Mortal Editor: Kuah

Immortal Staff:
Elisabet, Lascivias
Immortal Editor: Ayesh
Table of Contents

Desk of the Editor

Meet Iliana

A Short Novel by Shingo: Eclipse

Poets Corner

Quest & Contest

Continuing Story Theme **New Feature!**

Orders Exposed!

Jaryl's 15 minutes of fame.

Funny Bones!

Desk of the Editor By: Kuah

What's the good word? We are back again with one of the larger
issues we have ever done! A lot of work was put in by the hard
working staff this time around, and we are showing up (and off)
with some new sections, more chances for reader interaction,
and the usual news and fiction you have come to love from the
Cry of Despair.

Our feature this week was done by Dein. And continuing our trend
of letting you get to know those behind the scene, it is a very
well done interview with the immortal, and charming, Iliana.

If you have a comment, gripe or something you want to submit
to the Cry of Despair, you can reach us the CoD public board
in the TownHall (e,s,2u,s,w,s from DH[]) or south of Quills
and Parchments on Market Street. Or you can Mudmail me or
Ayesh. As always, enjoy and thanks.

Kuah Cha'Din

Meet Iliana By: Dein

Today Iliana took some time out of her day to allow me to interview
her. For this, I'm deeply thankful as she is one of the kindest
immortals I have had the pleasure of speaking with.  Even though
she was busy making cookies, she still had time to help the little

Dein: Okay, Iliana, how long have you been an active character in
the realms?

Iliana: I've been playing for almost 3 years now, and have been
active that entire time.  I became an immortal on January 26th..
about 2 1/2 years. :) I spent time leading an order and doing other
things that I wanted to do first.

Before you became an immortal, were you ever helled?  Did you ever
do anything you weren't supposed to?

I wasn't ever helled. I don't remember ever being silenced except
as a joke. Anything I wasn't supposed to do... well.. I was the typo
queen when I first started. I remember killing Artemis...

...with a friend.. and I ended up healing the mob and faerie firing
him instead. :)  I've done that a few times, actually.. all on
accident. I've wanted to just crawl under my desk in embarassment
when it happened. :)  Luckily, people are understanding when they
see that it was an accident.. saying "I"m sorry" goes a long way.
Well.. there was that time I was balzhured after I became an
Immortal. Kali slayed me.. balzhured me..because I was making
comments about bbq pixie wings. :)

And what made you decide to become an immortal rather than remain

I felt that I could help make the Realms a better place.. I wanted
a chance to do things that I hadn't done before. New challenges. If
I don't have something challenging to look forward to, I lose

I feel the same way, part of the reason why I'm interviewing you
now. :)  How did they train you when you became immortal, or is that
top secret?

Iliana: hmm.. interesting question.  Well, actually...

...since I had already been a leader, I had some experience in
dealing with people and disputes. I think the most important skill
in a leader or an immortal is to be able to listen and not prejudge
someone based on appearance. As far as official training, I was
mentored by different imms and given a guiding hand in areas that
I had questions in.

What was required of you to become an imm? Was it just that you had
been such a fine leader of an order?

Well.. a fine leader is a subjective term.. I'm sure there are
those that would argue that point. :)  I think that if you look at
the immortals, as a whole, most have the ability and confidence in
their decisions.. they're strong people. It took me some time to
learn that ability.. I had to learn to have some faith in my own
judgement and to stay true to what I believed in.. although it might
not be popular. I think that you also have to be fair and listen to
both sides of the story.. everything is subjective.. usually when
you can get the people to sit down and listen to each other.. they
can work out their problems on their own.

Then did you have trouble at first?  Dealing with so-called

It was overwhelming at first. I don't think that I would be needed
half as much if people just showed others the same respect that
they want. You have to stop and realize that behind every line of
text is a real live person, with feelings and emotions the same as
your own. I feel that my job is to serve the Realms.. make the
place better in whatever capacity that I can, be it building or
suggestions or administrative work.

What do you do in a typical day?

Typical day :)  well.. when I log on, I make the rounds of the
noteboards so that I can keep up with all the events that took
place while I was sleeping or working. Then, I do administrative
work.. I'm also a builder.. so I work on my area as well.

What's the best part about being immortal?

(things) that I know I played a part in, even if the part was small.
I was on QC for awhile.. I got frustrated at times, because of all
the bickering and fussing.  But...

it was always worth it.. when just one person said "thank you..",
"that was challenging.." or  "I liked it.."  I don't look for
accolades a whole lot.. but it can become overwhelming when all you
hear are complaints. It's really discouraging. I take a lot of
pride in doing a job well.. and when I can sit back and see one
person take enjoyment from it, that makes all the other bit worth

I think people often look to immortals in help during their
desperate times, but is there anyone you turn to for help?

I have a few role models amongst the immortals.. all of them are
wonderful and very supportive.. I don't know how I would choose one
over the other, truthfully.. I ask different things of them all the

Throughout the three years you've been playing, is there one

My favorite moment in my realms career.. is when...

Baali came in. We knew that it was supposed to come in at any time.
And I had made a painting to go in my office. Some friends and I
were sitting on the battlements and reboot had been a bit long.
  I did a c loc painting, and saw the painting show up in locate in
my office. Then Jade appeared.. said.. "Welcome to Baali, Iliana"
and set me as the #1. I grinned from ear to ear all day. There
hasn't been an experience to match that.. not even my first Seth
kill. :)

What do you think makes today's realms player? His equipment? How
much he runs? How much he's involved?

Actually.. not really any of the above. I think it's all in
personality.. Equipment can be lost and gained. DT's are the great
equalizer in the game. Runs? They come and go.. you don't have to
run Seth and Darkness to be a cool person in my book. I judge a
character by their personality.. thats what impresses me.. the
ability to take this for what it is.. a game. There are people who
take this way too seriously.. judge people by their eq.. don't want
to hang with you if you're not as buff.. Some of my favorite people
here don't have any of the buff eq.

I find it hard to see immortals as regular people, I'm always just
thinking 'wow!' Is there anything that makes an immortal say 'wow!'
about a mortal player?

I'm impressed with a person who can keep their cool and respond
logically to a person who is abusive. I respect honesty.. and I
like hearing other peoples opinions. However, that opinion needs to
be stated in such a manner that isn't abusive towards anyone.
Different people have different experiences and perspectives.. and
there could be knowledge gained from them.. a side to something
that I hadn't seen before. When a person can clearly state the hows
and whys of their opinion.. in a well thought out manner.. thats
when I sit back and go "Wow!"

A natural question for people I think. What do you miss most about
being mortal?

I asked Loril if she missed the freedom of being an Imm. I think the
opposite is really true. I don't have as much time or freedom to do
things that I want to do as much. I...

can't just pop off and go on a run somewhere with my friends if
there isn't someone else here to do administrative work. Don't get
me wrong, I do have time to do that.. everyone is very good about
making sure that others have time to get away from the stressful
bit. I just can't do it spur of the moment. However... I go on my
morts..and find myself missing the spam.

So what is the worst duty an imm has to do?  What task makes you
cringe as much as cleaning foreign toilets?

Helling someone, because if it comes to that, it means that there
has been no other recourse. I would prefer to speak to someone
and get it resolved that way than to have to punish someone.
Sometimes though, I'm left with no other choice. When something
goes badly, I often ask myself.. "What could I have done to allay
that? How could I have handled it better?"  Luckily, I've only had
one or two instances where things have been truly bad.

Is there anything you would like to say to newbies or lowbies?

Don't be in too big a hurry to av. Take your time to learn how to
play the game.. read room descriptions.. take the time to figure
things out and learn for yourself.  It will make you a better
character and player.

Once again, I'd really like to thank Iliana for giving me the
opportunity to interview her, it was my first interview and I
think it's a little rocky, but Iliana even helped smooth it out.
Thanks Iliana. :)

Eclipse, Chapter 1 By: Shingo

Chapter 1 - Journey of the Sun and Moon

In a small village, on the outskirts of the island of Naerite, a
new era is about to begin.  The tribe's chief and his wife are
celebrating the birth of their two children.  That, in itself, is a
special occasion, but it happened ona day of good omen.  The
firstborn, a male, was born during a solar eclipse, and thus was
named Sol.  The second, a female, was born during the night, at the
flare of a lunar eclipse, and was named Lune.

It was a rare occasion, for the two moons to be aligned in such a
way that one would pass by the sun in the day, and the other at
night.  The tribe took it as a sign of the gods above, and believed
the children would be blessed for eternity.  And it wouldn't be long
before Sol and Lune learn of their blessing.


17 years have passed since the birth of Sol and Lune, and their
father is proud of his children.  Sol was taught in the ways of
combat, and since the early age of 4, has shown great skill with the
sword, quickly excelling in the techniques taught to him, and
mastering the motions of defensive combat.

Lune was shown the arts of the shaman, and she promptly learned the
weavings and patterns of various runes and focus of concentration
into the purification of one's body, spirit and mind. She had
little combat skill, compared to Sol, but the little she had would
protect her should she find herself in danger.

After a day of hard training, Sol and Lune are summoned to the
Chief's chambers for a brief, yet difficult meeting.

"You have summoned us, father?", said Sol, kneeling.

"Yes, Sol, Lune.  Please rise.  You know you weren't shown your
given practices for no reason.  The time has come for you to see if
your training has paid off. You two are to be sent to the continent
to the south, where you will begin your journey of the other world.
Outside ths island is a world filled with many discoveries that we
would not be able to describe.  Civilizations far more advanced than
ours are on the southern continent, as well as dangers that can
threaten your very lives, but it is a test, to see if you, Sol, are
fit for leadership of the tribe, and if you, Lune, are able to
become the Great Shaman.

I wish for nothing less than to see you stay here, safe, but I
cannot.  You must go out there, and return, by yourselves, proving
you are both worthy to become great members of the tribe.  I have
no doubt in either of you.  Your departure begins immediately.
Pack your equipment and meet the navigator on the beach.
That is all."

The chief waved his hand, and the children turned about and left
the room. They knew this day would come, and while secretly
dreading it, they were both excited.  They had heard many stories
of the southern continent from their mother; stories of cities which
were ten times larger than the tribal campgrounds, or of dangerous
creatures which stood ten times taller than any normal being. These
stories brought smiles to their faces, for they would get their
chance at seeing the outside world for the first time.

Having packed, Sol and Lune set off to the beach to meet the

"Greetings.  I trust you have everything packed that you need?
  The trip to the southern continent will take a quarter day, where
you ought to make camp for the night.  Take this map with you, as
it was your father's map.

He used it to get around the southern continent.  This spot here is
L'aquis Castle, where the watermen make their living.  They made
good friends with your father when he first explored the area, so
they will be of help to you.  This spot ... here. I suggest you
stay away from that area.  That's the home of dragons, it is. Large
beasts with thick hides that breathe elements.  You'd be smart to
stay away from there, if you wish to return to rule the tribe,
though returning with a dragon's head would surely prove your

"Thank you, navigator.  Your words are kind and wise.  Shall we
leave?", Lune said, packing away the map in a little handknit
purse of straw.

"Aye.  Just hop in.", replied the navigator.  When they were on
the boat, two creatures heads popped up from below the waves.
Attached to them were collars, with reigns, and the navigator was
holding them.  He snapped the reigns once, and the boat swiftly
set into motion, propelled by the water drakes.

The ride on the ocean was quiet and calm.  The weather didn't look
like it was going to bother them, and there weren't many dangerous
creatures in the waters nearest the island.  It was several hours
on an uneventful trip before they saw land up ahead. The navigator
steered the boat around the coastline for a bit until he found a
small beach to disembark from.

"Here ya go.  This is the northern tip of the southern continent.
The Castle should be a quarter day's walk from this beach, but I
recommend you camp out here for the night.  Plenty of dangerous
creatures about when the light hides." warned the navigator.

Suddenly, as if on cue, there was a rustling in the trees and
surrounding bushes, and a small creature holding a large bone and
wearing a feathered skull leaped out from behind a rock, quickly
followed by creatures of the same kind, all holding massive bones
and skull helmets.  It was tough to see in the dark, but the
creatures eyes looked red, and their skin were different shades of
green.  Only one of the creatures had feathers in his helmet,
identifying him as the higher rank amongst the raiders.

"Goblins!", cried out the navigator. "I've no skill to deal with
them, I'll be on my way back to the island.  Take care!".  And with
that, he hopped on the boat, and ordered the water drakes to return
to the island.

One goblin stepped forward and began tracing a line in the sand,
then forming a pattern.

"It's casting a spell!", cried Lune.  But it was too late.  The
goblin raised it's small hands and yelled "Tor-ahk-caime-dray!".
A large torrent of water behind them thrust up from the depths of
the ocean where the navigator was heading, and it split the boat in
two, sending the navigator plummeting to the ocean waters, head
first.  The two water drakes raised their backs out of the water
and cushioned the navigator's fall, then with him on their backs,
quickly swam away towards the island.

Without hesitation, Sol pulled out his sword and charged at the
goblin wizard. The wizard having no time to react, couldn't help
but be impaled on Sol's sword then rudely kicked off.  The other
goblins raised their weapons, bellowed a war cry, and charged at
the children.  Lune pulled out her hunting knives to defend
herself, though she wasn't sure she was ready.

Three goblins surrounded Sol, bone clubs in hand and ready to
strike.  The goblins tried an organized attack of simultaneously
striking Sol, but Sol leapt into the air, twisting his body so he
landed behind one of the goblins, and swung out his sword before
landing, cleaving just behind the goblin's neck. The goblin fell
forward, dead.  The remaining two tried an unusual attack form this
time.  One hopped onto the other's shoulders, so they stood as tall
as Sol, and they seemed to have no trouble keeping balance walking
towards him. The goblin on the bottom tried to swing at Sol's legs,
but Sol did a quick hop to avoid being hit, then the goblin on top
swung his club downward to hit Sol's chest, but Sol parried and
countered with a punch, which knocked the goblin off the other's
shoulders.  Lune took the opportunity to leap in and plunge both
knives into it's chest while it lay dazed on the floor.  Blood
spurted from the goblin, spraying her.  She had killed wild animals
before, but this was different.  It was killing a race that had
enough intelligence to cast spells, not like the wild boars of the

The remaining goblin assailant saw he was outmatched, and began to
turn tail and run.  The goblin leader noticed it, and threw his bone
club at the coward. The club struck the goblin's head, knocking him
to the floor, and a small pool of blood began to turn the sand red.

The leader turned his eyes on Sol, and began a silent chant.  Lune
immediately recognized it as another spell, and began chanting a
counterspell, using the sand to weave a rune as a focus point.

The leader threw out his hand yelling "Nizapt!" but nothing happened.
Lune got up and brushed off the sand from her legs, smiling as she
successfully cast the counterspell in time.  Sol ran at the
confused goblin, sword lowered and aimed at the goblin's chest.
The goblin was impaled on the sword, but Sol kept running, and ran
the sword right into a tree.  The force of the blow killed whatever
life was left in the goblin.  Sol withdrew his blade, and pushed the
body off of the sword, then wiped up the blood with a few leaves
from the tree.

Both children stood in amazement at what had just transpired. They
heard the stories of danger, but they never expected it to come so
quickly.  Sheathing his sword, Sol said, "We'll make camp here for
the night, but we'll throw the bodies into the water.  The blood
stench might attract more wild animals if we left them here.  We'll
set forth to L'aquis Castle in the morning."

They set up a large campfire, and threw the bodies into the water,
then covered the blood stains with water and wet sand. Nothing came
to them in the night, so they woke up refreshed and ready to move
on to L'aquis Castle.

Poets Corner By: CoD Staff


Is there really
Such a thing as love?
Is there more then just lust?
Could love be nothing
but a mere physical attraction?
How could opposite's
have such a strong bond?
How can they unite and become one?
Are we just kidding ourselves
when we say we are in love
is it all some big game we like to play?
Or is it real?
Is it true?
I want to know what love really is.



I go out and dance,
Dance in the rain.
It cleanses my soul, and washes away my pain
the lightning flashes
showing my beaten body
it gives of a warmth
that surrounds me in love
The thunder rolls in taking away all my sin.
I am pure
I love these storms
they save my soul
they make my spirit whole
they make peace for me
all who dance in the rain
are saved from lifes little game
it cleanses your soul
and washes away your pain
Come out with me
and dace in the rain.


Blackened skies on moonless night
an evil portent of what is to come
the darkness creeping, cut off from light
crazed denizens of blasphemous creation
lurking by and by
waiting for their time to strike
hoping for the uncautious eye
Iron gives under razor claw
as the slither of death permeates from unholy mist
the raking of their scaly paws
as wall and bar in their grasp slowly twist
the castle off on yonder mountain
masked by powers dark and sinister
encased within, the evil lord
who watches on with fanged grin
awaiting the victory of his hordes
who lurk in shadow ready to feast
on any adventurer who judges unwisely
and falls into death's hanging jaws
the one pure evil, who waits within
who commands the beasts encased in shadow
waits calmly for the uncommon chance
that he himself may spill yon adventurer's blood
and feed on the folly of yet another unworthy
- Alendil

Quest and Contest By: Elisabet

Hear ye!  Hear ye! Duke Luther has chosen his new Scribe.
Congratulations to all who entered the memoir writing
contest.  Duke Luther's favorite submission was the submission
from Kestal.  In second place, was a submission from Jaryl,
and last but not least, in third place was Giko's submission.
Please enjoy Kestal's winning submission printed on the next few

Deep into the sands of the Blasted Lands lives a mighty dragon
named, Bahamut, also known as Bammy.  Bammy gets very lonely in
his cave so isolated from all his dragon friends.  One day Bammy
decided to try and find a dragon he met a long time ago named,
Black Rose.

Bammy flew his way over to Knights of the Round and met up with
Lady Trishia. He gave her one of his swords, 'Justice', in
exchange for a heart-shaped box. After receiving the box, Bammy
flew over to Julietta, the Cadbury Chocolate Lady.  Bammy bought
a few very dark chocolate bars, a bag of semi-sweet charcoal, a
blacked-chip cookie, and a burned cadbury chocolate bar and placed
them all into the heart-shaped box.

Then Bammy flew over to Dragon's Pass and stopped by Xanthia's
Garden to pick some flowers.  He got a Tiffany rose, a yellow rose,
a Rainbow's end rose, a blood red rose, and a sky-blue rose and
tied them all up with a red silk scarf he previously received from
a little girl at Midway of Despair.  He neatly tied the boquet of
roses to the heart shaped box and flew over to a pyramid deep into
the Dragon's Pass jungle.

The passage leading into the pyramid, however, was sealed shut.
Bammy looked around on several of the Saurian Warriors until he
found a special eye which he placed into a stone socket that opened
the passage into the pyramid.  He flew through the pyramid as fast
as he could, anxious to meet up with Black Rose.  Finally he
arrived at her cave and greeted her.  He bowed before her and
kissed her hand, causing her to blush a bit.  Bammy didn't know it
yet, but Black Rose had a little crush on him.  Bammy swiftly
pulled out the gifts he ventured to get for her and handed them
to her.  She almost fainted into his arms.  No one had ever given
her anything before.

Bammy and Black Rose spent a long time together talking and getting
to know eachother better.

Several months later...

After months of being with Black Rose, Bahamut finally decided to
propose to her.  He called upon his brother, Shimmergloom, and
Black Rose's sister, Zylandialtiara, to get together for dinner in
the dining room in Revelation City.  After getting nudged by his
brother several times, Bahamut got down on one knee and asked Black
Rose for her hand in marriage as he slipped onto her finger a ring
called "Bahamut's Love and Devotion."  Zyla started giggling and
less than a second later, Black Rose said yes!!  Time passed and
soon enough Bahamut and Black Rose got married where they first met,
Xanthia's Garden... and they lived happily ever after.

- By: Kestal

Continuing Story Theme  By: Shingo

Rules of the Story:  Read this issue's topic line.  For the next
issue, we want all of you to write in the next paragraph.  We
(the Staff of CoD) will choose the best paragraph and print it in
the next issue (you will be credited and paid a cash prize).
That paragraph then becomes the subject and you will all write the
next paragraph to take place!

Example:  Topic is: Prince Charming is looking for a princess.
Someone writes paragraph 1 to be how Prince Charming finds Princess
Uglyface. Using paragraph 1 as a subject now, someone writes
paragraph 2 to be all about how Princess Uglyface dumps Prince
Charming for his evil twin brother! Now using paragraph 2, someone
makes Prince Charming kill both his twin brother and the Princess
and he wanders the land in search of someone else.

For the next issue, you get to write up what paragraph 4 will be
like, based on what you read in paragraph 3.  The story can take
any number of twists and turns (there must be SOME reference to the
previous paragraph, however).  It will continue on until we reach
paragraph 5, at which point, the story will end, and we will begin
a brand new topic sentence.

This weeks topic sentence is: Herne has left the otters!

Orders Exposed  By: Lorel

Orders, what do they do and stand for? How can I join one? Why
should I join one? For a long time i battled with these questions
before I finally found an order I could relate to. It was a hard
choice and one which kept me up on many a night. Now as the newest
member of the CoD im going to try and help newer players to get to
know the orders of realms better and maybe they will find one that
suits them.

Begining in issue 38, I will take a closer look at the orders of
realms and write a summary based on what I found. Im going to take
a look at the history, leadership, structure and morals of the
order. I'll also be talking to the members and non-members to build
up a picture of the order. I hope that my articles will help
players to find an order they can relate to and join.

The first Order that i will take a close look at is the
Order of Maidenstone.

Jaryl's 15 minutes of fame By: Begaria

I climbed up the Vallenwood tree up into our guild headquarters to
find a couple of friends talking.  I noticed that Reol called him
self a hired assassin from my last article.  I sat down in our HQ
listening to them talk and Jaryl came up to me and said, put me in
your next story.

I grinned at him and said I'd think about it.  I got up and walked
to our healer to get my wounds healed.  Jaryl follow me in there
and again asked me for him to be in a story of mine.  Again, I
told him that I would think about it and I left the healer and
climbed out of the Tree.

I was walking along the trail from our tree to the square when
Jaryl popped down from a tree above me.  He again, asked if he
could be in a story.  I was getting a little annoyed with him and
told him that he just asked me that and I would think about it.

I brushed past him and arrived at the square.  I looked around and
smiled to myself about the new adventurers who have come to our
land. Jaryl appeared before me somehow, must've been sneaking, and
again, asked if he could be in an article.  I glared at him and
patiently said that I would think about it.

He nodded and I walked off to the east, I was passing the road to
Mage's guild when Jaryl came running in from the east, which I
thought was weird since I just left him in the square back in the
west...must've ran pretty fast around the city to appear before me.

He stopped before me and asked again if he could be in an article.
I wanted to hit him.  I sighed and told him that he was annoying
me and I said no.  I left him there and walked back to the square.
Just before I arrived to the square, Jaryl appeared before me and
said, Come on man, PLEASE put me in an article!

I growled and said, All right already!  I'll put you in an article,
just leave me alone. Jaryl grinned happily and took off running
back to the guild. Now that you know why I'm writing an article
with Jaryl in it, I'll get on with it.

Jaryl appeared back in the guild and grinned at Reol and said,
I'm going to be in Begaria's next article! Reol smiled and said,
That's cool man, wonder what's going to happen in it?

Jaryl grinned and shrugged than strode off to the healer being all
happy and stuff.  When he arrived to the healer's room, the healer
wasn't in at the moment so he stood waiting for the healer to come
back.  A ranger that Jaryl had never seen walked up to Jaryl and
put something in his hand.  Jaryl looked down at what he was holding
and it appeared to be a gold coin.  The stranger than said, There
are many riches buried deep, deep, with in the Moria Hills, that
gold coin represents 400 million others like it in the hills, now
that you know the secret, go, and be rich.

The stranger walked off and Jaryl was gasping for air for the
fortune he was to receive.  He visibly calmed down and got control
over himself.  He decided not to tell anybody and so started out
on his adventure.  As Jaryl left the Tree, the stranger watched
him go and grinned to himself.  The stranger said, That'll teach
someone to annoy me for an article...

the stranger pulled off his mask and let it drop to the ground,
and walked back to recall.

Back to Jaryl, he was ecstatic.  Never has he ever gotten an easy
chance to get rich, and this was it.  He started running and in no
time he was at the crossroads.

He took the north road and quickly arrived to the hills.  He
checked the entrance for some clue to where the riches were buried
but didn't find anything.  He took out the coin that stranger gave
to him and turned it over.  On the back there was an inscription
which said, "Take the road which best suits the setting of the sun,
and go down in the deepest parts of the cave.  Come to the wall
which is not a wall and find the riches behind it."  Ha.
No problem.

Jaryl took off down the west path, knowing that the sun sets in
the west.  He quickly came across a hole and dropped down.  He
found himself in a maze of gold color.  He followed a path that
was easily markable and came up to a dead end.

Jaryl looked closely at the western wall at the dead end and
figured that this was the wall that the coin was talking about.
He searched the room and quickly found a lever made of rock.
He flipped the lever and the wall swung out.  Jaryl started to
get excited again and walked through the newly opened entrance.

There was another hole.  Jaryl shrugged and jumped down the hole.
He landed in a dark, smelly place and a deep voice growled, Nice
of you to drop in. Jaryl shivered and stuttered and held his light
aloft.  Before him, was the huge, angry, scaled dragon of legend.

The Tarrasque. Jaryl quickly drew his sword, prepared to defend
himself, but his light went out.  All through the caves, all you
could hear were screams of pain and torture.

At the entrance to Hills, stood the stranger grinning to himself.
Hell, this is better than my story about Pelmen being hurt by Zyla.
This'll teach any punk wanting to get there name in one of my

And he lived happily ever after.........

Funny Bones By: CoD Staff

Avatar Chat...

Mischief: OoO Chayla
Chayla: missed my mystical hands lately? ;)
Mischief: oh baybeeee don't you know it
Mischief: only you can mystically touch me in just the right way
Chayla: i feel so special ;)


One day near The Throne of Zeus, in Olympus:

Skaphia says 'i gotta go grab heals, sit down everyone'
Luzopinz says 'wait a sec'
Luzopinz drops an extradimensional portal.
Zeus gets an extradimensional portal.
Luzopinz eeps!
Luzopinz giggles.
Luzopinz says 'now zeus has heals'

Realms Chatter...

Reznok chats 'I wanna talk with Balzhur, face to face, about
his anger problem.'
Reznok chats 'But the immortals won't let me.'


All in 10 seconds...

Reol arrives from the southeast.
Reol leaves west.
Reol stumbles drunkenly in from the west.
Reol drunkenly stumbles into a nearby obstacle.
Reol stumbles drunkenly, trips and tumbles to the ground.
Reol doesn't need your help.
Reol peers intently about the area, looking for thieves no doubt.
Reol rises from his rest.
Reol drunkenly stumbles into a nearby obstacle.
Reol drools on himself.
Reol stumbles drunkenly southeast.
Reol arrives from the southeast.
Reol leaves west.

Funny Titles

Bronia can't make a comeback - she hasn't been anywhere.
Turalyon- creator of tuna safe dolphin.
Gilgalad the little storage that could.
Euoia Aoe, official shmuck & spoiled brat.
Arrianna has been sucked into the void.
Pyrr would like to spank Britney just one more time...
Golga Rocarlen,new and improved storage with roller door.
Dolmannt loves everyone but you.
Grathuan says, 'Elmo wants promiscuous sex!'.
Zistrosk is ever vigilant... except when he isn't.
Deodato sits here, munching on Bamboo.
Merf is realy a monkey in a merf suit.
Tarlin can't think of anything funny right now.

Announcements By: CoD Staff

Happy Retirement, Calis!

                             __       __
                           ."  ".   ."  ".
    ____                  /  .-. \_/ .-.  \                  ____
   /    `"=._           _/  (o  )   (o  )  \_           _.="`    \
  |          "=.      /'     '-'_,-,_'-'     `\      .="          |
  |     ".      ".   |   '.  _."_.-._"._  .'   |   ."      ."     |
   ".     ".      ".  \    `"-.-._+_.-.-"`    /  ."      ."     ."
     ".     ".      ". `--._   `-.-.-`   _.--` ."      ."     ."
       "=._   ".      "=./  `._       _.`  \.="      ."   _.="
           "=._ "._     /      `"""""`      \     _." _.="
               "=. "-. :                     : .-" .="
                  ".  "|     Y          Y    |"  ."
                _.="`  _\    \          /    /_ `"=._
     _.-"""``""`  _.-"`__\    \-.____.-/    /__`"-._ `""``"""-._
  .-'.-' _.-'_.-"`   .' .' .'\ \      / /'. '._'.   `"-._'-._'-.'-.
  `"` `"` `"`        `"` `"`  `"`    `"`   `"` `"`       `"` `"` `"`

To Calis, enjoy your retirement!
Ascii provided by Tiesto, edited by Shingo


A loud trumpet sounds in the distance....

A date has been set for the next National Olympics.
It will be on Saturday, August 26.  Check with your
nation for more info!!!


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