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Interview: Sal, the slimy slug


                            CRY OF DESPAIR #31

Mortal Staff:
Alendil, Alerious, Apollonia, Azrakare, Barentin, Conran, DekkatH
Elaria, Elbanon, Kannan, Laine, Loril, Nimue, Nitsuj, Odessyus,
Saraphin, Sarig, Shingo, Thabo and Tobie
Mortal Editor: Kuah

Immortal Staff:
Kyrnia, Lascivias
Immortal Editor: Ayesh


One Year Anniversary.
A quick look back at our first year!

The Symposium News.
Read about whats new from The Symposium.

This is the classic poll about an Imm and his Kilt...

The Pagan Pages.
A new twist on an old idea.

Remember Kuahs Friends?

Funny Bones!
Who had the funny titles this time around?

Want Ads.
Looking for? Needed? Wanted?

One Year Anniversary. By: Kuah

One year. That is pretty amazing. I smile as I sit here and
reflect on all the articles that have graced the Cry of Despair.
I also smile as I think about all the characters and people we
have met thanks to this paper and I hope all of you have enjoyed
this last year reading the articles we write for you.

Many things have changed over the year for the Cry of Despair and
many more changes have happened to our world, The Realms of
Despair. From that first meeting long ago where over thirty people
sat and help set the foundation with the help of Mystaric, to the
forming of the Society of Scribes and our longing to do even more
than just a news paper.

And now with Ayesh as our Immortal Editor and a strong and very
creative staff we set our sights to a second amazing year. But
before we fold up the scroll on this past year, I feel that there
were some great highlights from past issues that are worth taking
time to reflect on again. And as the last original active staff
member, (Thabo, where are you?), it does me honor to be the one
sharing them with, honestly the only reason we do what we do,
you... the reader.

The Interviews

There have been many, and I agree with the general opinion of the
feedback, that interviews are the best of any article type we

Over this last year we have introduced (or reintroduced) many of
the people who make the Realms a special place. From Leaders of
Guilds and Orders to Immortals from the low neophytes to Thoric

Some of my favorite interviews this staff has done are the ones
we can reflect back on and see how that person has changed in the
Realms. One that really stands out is an interview done with a
struggling soon to be GuildMaster, clawing her way to the prizes
at the top, Elisabet. Now she claws her way up the immortal ranks
ever hungry for power. Another one that stands out, the Interview
done back in may with Edmond, who was then only a Newbie Council
member who, in his own words, "hit a point where runs and
equipment hadn't hit any sort of appeal any more." Now he spends
time co-running The Symposium as a favorite high level Immortal.

There have been many other interviews, including another personal
favorite of mine, Valanna who even stepped outside of character
to talk music and real world likes/dislikes. The interview the
staff did with Thoric was also well liked by many of you. Other
popular interviews included Nivek, where he responded to your
poll answers and the interview with Calis, where he showed off
his 'Shapeshifting' mob.

I hope we can continue to bring you interesting reads and the
interviews you all would like to see. (Including one with Darrek
who when asked, politely declined). And hopefully we can provide
even more and better player interviews with the Leaders of the
Guilds and Orders of our Realms.

The Polls, Articles and Humor

There have been many interesting polls in the Cry of Despair.
From the original "What would you do if you were Immortal" to
the comical and ever creative "What does Darrek wear under his
kilt?". (My personal favorite answer to that one being Moonbeams
answer: "a bottle opener"). And of course the controversial
and ever popular CoD Awards Poll with categories ranging from
Favorite Imm to Favorite Death Trap.

Working with all of the different staff members I have seen come
and go through the doors of the CoD office one thing has been the
same with all of them. Creative. They are with out a doubt some
of the most creative people I have ever met. Even if I have had
my own share of hits and misses (does anyone remember the slug
interview with Sal T. Hurtz?) I for sure have not been alone in
making this paper work.

There is no way I can put over all of the staff by name, but the
fact that the Cry of Despair has lasted this long is proof enough
that they have gotten themselves over. But to be fair and to be
Thankful, (and please beyond anything forgive me if I forget one),
I will try and list them all.

And as we look forward to the future we should let it be known
that we have positions up for new staff members for those of you
who are interested. More information is posted in the Want-Ads,
and we have a special position open in the new 'Pagan Pages'
Section. But let us not forget those who have come before...

The Staff (All at one time members of the Cry of Despair)

Alerious, Allison, Alovea, Anaisse, Apollonia, Athuro, Ayesh,
Azrakare, Bede, Brakko, Cyniq, Conran, Dacoit, Deevlit, Elaria,
Elbannon, Grishnakh, Gurt, Hawpch, Iktome, Kannan, Kayah, Keroppi,
Kuah, Kyrnia, Lascivias, Lohon, Loril, Louellin, Mea, Mystaric,
Naeblis, Nimue, Nitsuj, Odessyus, Saraphin, Shamisen, Shingo,
Ranstlin, Romanu, Thabo, Tunclon, Vestia, Yardan

I know I've missed a few, (It has been a long year you know), but
there is no way this paper would of made it without all the work
the former staff has put in and the support of you, the reader.

As one last token of thanks we will have a few 'look back'
articles this issue as well as the current news. And I know it
gets old, but we can never say it enough, Thank You.

The Symposium News. By: Shingo

Due to the Realms nearly coming into contact with a temporal
vortex of such magnitude, that it literally put everyone into a
stasis lock, the Symposium was unable to get much work done the
past week. However, we have officially begun the subcommittee
process, with Timas heading up the Spell and Skills, Torinir
has control over the Building committee and Raemakoin is at the
helm of the Race and Class team.

We have confidence in all three leaders, and we know they will do
their very best to convey the best way to propose all of our
wishes to the Immortal Ones.

Please, if you have any ideas, feel free to mail myself, or the
proper leader to whom your proposal falls under.

To fix an error in the previous article, Skaphia is not an At
Large, she is the Maidenstone Representative. My apologies to
Maidenstone and Skaphia.

We will have more news for you, as they come about.

FLASHBACK ARTICLE. By: CoD Staff, Issue #14

What does Darrek wear under his kilt?

Mecil: a commercial underwear advertising a beer
Anonymous: what or who?
Aremic: id have to go with...frilly pink panties..yeah =)
Hecar: a stubby (beer bottle)
Someone: he wears %s under his kilt.. :P
Krahl: his manhood
Nesett: Nothing, I think he goes regimental ;)
Sealom: nothing
Asmodius: I am at a loss for words
Someone: I think he is a boxer man
Moonbeam: a bottle opener
Plessar: a pink frilled panty
Nalvaz: silk panties ;)
Someone: a chastity belt :P
Viracocha: I don't know, but I'm sure I'm going to have Nightmares
about that
Lascivias: your death?
Levana: nothing i hope heh
Loril: I'd say prolly a belt with beer stein holsters But I'm not
sure I want him to show me :P
Casdin: grins nice shaved legs and heart covered boxers
Elbanon: you must not fear darrek
Casidin: Naa he's a big softie *gulps* plus I got plenty of beer left
Ehn: The body of a guitar
Hulkinn: Wonder Woman Under-roos
Lyrias: Id have to say shoes.
Anonoumous: there. A funny bunny idol given to him by Jade
Mariyah: spiked garters?
Aphrael: laugh.. nothing of course!
Serina: 'Uhm, if i told you then he'd know I peeked :(
Dria: oooh, this answer takes some consideration :) I would have to
say that Darrek doesn't wear anything under his 15-kilt, after
all who ever heard of troll underwear
Elisabet: silk scooby-doo boxers'
Talanthus: was there some sort of pink panty story or something?'
Grendimix: a thong'
Gorog: an underkilt?
Bede: the lost boots of ranger Thoric?
The Pagan Pages. By: Shingo

This Issue The Card Selected:

The Judgement card shows a major transformation about to occur
in your life. The transformation could ultimately lead up to
completely changing your life-style. It is possible that you may
not even realize the change is about to occur until it finally
explodes all around. Judge carefully how to go about this new
bridge, and cross it with confidence, not caution.

|         |
|  TAROT  |
|         |
|         |
|  *   *  |
|   * *   |
|    *    |
|   * *   |
|  *   *  |

The stars, moon, planets, and sun are calling out to
one who will work for the Cry of Despair in their time of need.
They prophecise that one will send in a stunning example of their
creativity and let it shine throughout the heavens.

We require the services of one who can wield the power of the
heavens and write the fortunes the constellations foresee for
their followers.

Please submit all entries to our public noteboard: e,s,2u,s,w,s
from the city square.

We will have a new writer for the very next issue of the article
and they will see their own fortunes grow prosperously as they
work on the following issue of THE PAGAN PAGES!

FLASHBACK ARTICLE. By: Kuah, Issue #13

Kuahs Friends:
Today I sit here on the edge of a fountain in the training grounds
of the Academy. I am here to meet a special friend this day. In
fact it is a member of the realms we all have met. Most of you
know him simply as a slimy slug. But those of us who care, those
of us who take the time to stop and pet the dread wolves, we know
him by his true name, Sal T. Hurtz.

Sal arrived and sat, well more like oozed, next to me and let out
a sigh. I could see the pain of time and battle on his face. I know
he likes nothing more than scrounging up a meal or teaching new
would be heroes a lesson, but he took the time out today so we all
could learn just a little more about him, and our Realms. And isn't
knowing half the battle already?

Kuah: How many have you fought Sal?
Sal: Other than some uppity dragon hatchling whom many of these
knights in training and want-to-be merlins take scales from, I'd
say I have seen more than any other being in the realms. There is
no number I could put on it. I remember kicking your behind along
with my good friends the naga cousins many moons ago. But it is
not the number I care about, its getting these whipper-snappers
off on the right foot.. well foot or claw whatever the case may be.

A few moments passed as I took in his words. I watched his trail
dry and sparkle in the sun. The sounds of training and the patter
of little feet echoed as the battleground teemed with life. Such
bliss. Only to be interrupted by some young warrior yelling at a
cleric 'That was my dread wolf you looser!'.. ahh youth.

Kuah: Your favorite story?
Sal: Oh There have been so many. Take that loud mouthed little
warrior over there, the one with the big pumpkin head. Head so
big gnome scientist have discovered it helps with the orbit of
the moons and the timing of the tides. He is my story, teaching
him how to fight, giving him that needed experience. But I also
think back to the clerics who cast spells on me, helpful defensive
spells and warm spells of healing... only to start kicking my tail
the moment they run out of mana. But I would not trade it for all
the damp sewage under Darkhaven. It is what I do, I teach.

We sat silent watching a vampire trying to feed on a bone naga. The
vampire was the victor. And he soon moved along. When the naga was
pretty sure no one was looking he stood up and dusted himself off,
gave a wink to Sal, and walked in the opposite direction.

Kuah: What was that all about?
Sal: I will let you and the Realms in on a little secret. You know
the Avatar of Thoric who spe...

Torkorin's backstab DISEMBOWELS a slimey slug!
A slimy slug is DEAD!!
A slimy slug catches its guts in its hands as it pours through its
fatal wound!
Torkorin gets 100 gold coins from the corpse of the slimy slug.
Torkorin sacrifices the corpse of the slimy slug to Thoric.

Kuah: WHY! What did you do that for?!

Torkorin chats 'Level!'
Torkorin floats west.

Kuah: Sigh.. well I'll see you next time as I let you get to know even more of my friends in the
Realms... sigh...

Funny Bones! By: CoD Staff


Tical says 'Im an object, not a person dammit!'.
Merit squibbles on Sea-elven notes with his Cwayons.
Pelmen is drugged, but has a plan...
Harthan FateMaster, Watch out! He's asleep at the wheel!
Ilyatha feels warm and fuzzy 'cause she has hot chocolate.
Alric Calyndel : Angel by Nature, Villain by Neccesity.
Mischief- A 69 is neuron pleasing anatomical shareware!
Ganeman'Thou shall not wear tube socks with flip flops'.
Zuilin: beaten up and all I got was this lousy title.
Tulani has a phobia of sock puppets
Joe is cherished by his deity. So where's the beer?
Mecil, tries to squish a babelfish into his ear.
Darrek. Women - Can't live with 'em. Can't do most positions without
Drune Divine, strongenoughforamanbutmadeforawoman.

Want Ads. By: CoD Staff

The Cry of Despair Seeks:

Let it be known we are looking for a couple of new full time
hard working staff members. Must be creative and willing to
play nice with others. Those interested must submit a sample
writing to the CoD. (e,s,2u,s,w,s from DH[]). If you are just
curious, we meet at the same location on Weds at 8 system time.

              Thank you from the Society of Scribes!

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