In which Stoneheft muses on the Deep Lode Forge
_____
* ( ____) . + .
+ ( ____)
. ( ____) *
( ____) +
( ____)
. ( ____) + .
+ ( ____) ______ ______ ______ ______ ______
/\______/|:_____:|\______/\ | (__ () | | | | ) | __|
(( ======= ------- ======= )) |______)___|\_\___ | |______;___|
\_________________________/ |______|
|::| | ______ ______ _______ ______ ______ ___ ______
Number 142 |::| | | _) \ \___|(_ (_ () | . | | () |
|::| | |______/______|__)____) __|____|_;___;___|\_\
------------ |::| | --------------------- |___| --------------------
[Editor] |::| | [Staff]
Annale |::| | Alessio, Alexandra, Annale, Beleth, Clemens,
|::| | Israfel
|::| |
[Sponsor] |::| | [Contributors]
Falennt |::| | Versetch, Klaatu, Ashandra, Leala, Kosaim
|::| |
|::| |
|::| | [Imm Contributors]
|::| | Gonnil, Romani, Stoneheft, Kinux
------------ |::| | ------------------------------------------------
See HELP CRY2 for the table of contents.
2
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 2 \/ Table of Contents
This Month's Special:
RoD Cry Awards - Romani CRY3-9
Monthly Article
Helpfile of the Month - Annale CRY10
Nation News
Quendi (Elf) - Annale CRY11
Uruk'hai (Half-Ogre) - Klaatu CRY12
Hobbit (Halfling) - CRY13
Elohai (Half-elf) - CRY14
Khazad (Dwarf) - Stoneheft CRY15-16
Olog'hai (Half-Troll) - Leala CRY17
Aerandir (Sea-Elf) - Ashandra CRY18-19
Order News
Baali - Romani CRY20
Quest News
December CoD Quest Results - Annale CRY21
January CoD Quest - Annale CRY22
Festivus Raffle Results - Gonnil CRY23
Realms Living
Ask CoE Questions CRY24
Loril Got Run Over by a Newbie - Romani CRY25
Festivus for the Rest of Us - Kinux CRY26
Top 10 RoD New Year's Resolutions - Annale CRY27
Funny Bones
New Year's Humour - Romani CRY28-30
Christmas Fun - Annale CRY31
Christmas Titles - Annale CRY32
Amusing and Odd Titles - Romani & Annale CRY33
Quotes out of Context - Annale CRY34
Medieval Jokes CRY35
Announcements and Advertisements
Wedding Announcement CRY36
Join the Pkill League - Versetch CRY37
Shop with Guts'n'Glory! CRY38
Advertise with the Cry! CRY39
CoD Readers Reward CRY40
Readers Reward Topic CRY41
Happy New Year from the CoD! CRY42
Cry of Despair Staff
Suggestion Box CRY43
Letter from the Editor CRY44
Write for the Cry CRY45
From Falennt's Inkwell CRY46
3
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 3 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
The 10th annual Realms of Despair Awards are coming up, and we
need your help to determine this year's winners. In keeping with
the RoD tradition please take a moment to fill in your answers
and send them via mudmail to Romani by January 25th.
HOW TO VOTE:
Purchase a blank note in DH and a quill. (See: HELP MUDMAIL, NOTE,
EDITOR or NC if this is your first time writing a note).
Note to: Romani
Note subject: CRY Awards - (Your Name Here)'s Picks
1. Whoever 2. Whatever 3. Et cetera
So on and so forth. Use up the 24 lines to vote once per
category. Each vote should fit on one line. Failure to submit
a proper voting form will have all votes nullified and not
counted for.
One vote per category, one form per player. Please do not
"stuff the ballot box" by using alternates. If we find out,
all votes from you and your alt(s) will be nullified and
perhaps further action will be taken.
Continued... help CRY4
4
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 4 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
THE CATEGORIES:
1. Best Male Immortal
This category is to vote for the Male Immortal who worked the
hardest, has shown himself vis quite often to answer many
questions, and has generally had a positive influence on the
players and the development of the MUD.
2. Best Female Immortal
This category follows the same guideline as the Best Male
Immortal.
3. Best Male Roleplayer
This category is for all the vagrants, vagabonds, knights and
kings out there who have shown themselves as worthy RP heroes or
RP villains, and best exemplify what it is to be a great
Roleplayer.
4. Best Female Roleplayer
The same as Best Male but for the witches, good or bad,
valkyries and queens.
Continued... help CRY5
5
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 5 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
5. Best Rename
This is for the best rename, be it funny, serious, or just
plain original. When casting your ballot for this category,
include the rename and to whom the rename belongs to.
6. Best Couple
Vote for who you believe is the best married couple of the
Realms. Casting for this category will depend on just how public
their private love life is...
7. Best Area
Vote for the area that you believe has the most challenge,
prime equipment, or just fun. This category is not limited to
just "Avatar" areas.
8. Best Quest Mobile
Which mobile had you running scared or charged up to do battle?
Vote for who you believe was the best Quest Mobile, and don't
forget to include which immortal ran the Quest.
9. Best Mobile
Different from the Quest mobile, which current mobile has you
wishing you had it's equipment? You can decide based on
Equipment, challenge or description.
Continued... help CRY6
6
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 6 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
10. Best (Worst?) Death Trap
Vote for the Death Trap that best describes your agonizing
death...
11. Most likely to DT
They never scry, they never look! They just plunder through
the world and hit what they hit, which includes DT diving!
Hint: They are usually after you to help them re-equip.
12. Best Guild
While the winner will likely be decided by which Guild has the
most members, decision should be based on which Guild has run
the better quests, and a great reputation amongst players.
13. Best Order
While the winner will likely be decided by which Order has the
most members, decision should be based on which Order has run
the better quests, and a great reputation amongst players.
14. Best Clan
While the winner will likely be decided by which Clan has the
most members, decision should be based on which Clan instills
fear in the heart of the pkillers world-wide.
Continued... help CRY7
7
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 7 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
15. Best Sect
Which is the most unique and stable sect in the lands?
16. Best Weapon
Plenty of new weapons have been discovered since last year's
Awards. Is one better than the others overall?
17. Best Piece of Armour
Same guideline as Best Weapon, but this includes any and all
pieces of armour (wrist, head, waist, body, etc.)
18. Best Biography (Bio)
Is there a bio out there that is better than all the rest? It
can be funny, serious, lame, poem, or ascii art. Please include
the player's name when voting for their bio. ;)
19. BALZHUR Food Award
This is the award for that special someone who gets on your
nerves in any and every way possible. No discrimination here,
all sexes are up for it.
20. Court Jester
This award goes to the person (male or female, mortal or
immortal) who makes you laugh the most.
Continued...help CRY8
8
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 8 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
21. Best Name
Who do you think has the coolest name? It can be funny, or
serious, or a statname. Any sex applies.
22. Best Food
Which food moistens your mouth the most?
23. Best Drink
After eating that Best Food, which drink makes you feel like
you had a full meal?
24. Best Social
This is the award for the social that best captures the essence
of human (and all other races) emulation in a single line of
text. There's plenty to choose from!
25. Most Needed Social
You keep typing it but it simply does not exist yet! What is this
social that you keep thinking we have or should have?
26. Best Change in 2009
What stands out as the best change to the game in 2009?
Continued...help CRY9
9
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 9 \/ Realms of Despair Annual CRY Awards - Romani
27. Worst Change in 2009
Woops! What needs fixing after a change in 2009?
28. Strangest in-game mobile
Every time you see this mob you just shake your head, laugh
or fear RL tears welling up at this strange sight.
29. Most exciting run
Cold chills run down your spine and sweat forms on your brow as
you dive into the game and face this mobile! Who is it?
30. Next Immortal
They are above reproach. They fit the criteria for "howtoimm" and
yet they are unsung, quietly doing all they can to help make our
world a better place. They are the one you turn to when you need
to know how to do something or need help.
Please remember to follow the voting guidelines. And know that all
votes will be kept confidential to the Staff of the HA and CoD
staff, so feel comfortable voting and do not ask who voted for what.
Have fun!
10
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 10 \/ Helpfile of the Month - Annale
THE SHATTERING' SHATTERING
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A conspiracy of forces, both martial and magic, joined together through the
orchestrations of an unknown entity. A horde of creatures were unleashed from
the Tower of Despair while a Nephandi cabal breached the umbral planes.
Godslayers fought Harakiem as the Black Monk muttered prophecies of doom. An
empty voice spoke and the world was rent asunder.
Only the intervention of a host of Immortals saved the world from total ruin.
The entity was denied entry to the Realms and the earth, though damaged,
remained. Acting as one, lead by the Infinite, the world was healed, though not
the same as before.
Those who survived have dubbed the event 'The Shattering'. In this alien, yet
familiar, land, the survivors struggle to cope with the uncertainty of magicks
and damage to the astral plane. Through adversity, progress is made and many
survivors are rapidly advancing in skill and knowledge, rebuilding the world
in a greater image.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See also: HELP ASTRAL DISRUPTION, HELP MAGICKS
11
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 11 \/ Quendi Nation News - Annale
Winter Sleeps?
With all the buzz about the Abyssal creature, the halfling refugees, and the
Pixie aftermath, Arborlon welcomes the peaceful winter. Life on Arborlon has
entered a constant state of 'normality'. Many Elves celebrated Yenearsira,
the Yeartide, with much revelry and companionship, with wishes of a peaceful,
prosperous New Year.
Happy New Year from the Quendi!
The Elves would like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! Any nations
looking for Allies are encouraged to seek out the Elves.
OOC: Elf-Only Quest!
Keep an eye on the Archives board, Elf HT board, and the NV board for
details about the next Elf-only quest! Any suggestions, ideas, or donations
are welcome! Contact Creemore or Annale!
12
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 12 \/ Uruk'Hai Nation News - Klaatu -
From the Opallinoc News Bureau:
Dateline Opallinoc - Winter Solstice Fest
The Winter Solstice Fest set a new attendance record. Seems enough of the
Uruk'hai Armed Forces lingered in Opallinoc after being demobilized. Throngs
gathered at the Great Bonfire to hear stories of conquest, adventure and
some of the best outrageous bragging told in years. Zontar's story of the
pursuit of the Alpha Wolf in Vast Horizon brought roars of approval. Meeka's
swill was one of the better batches ever made and the oregano was a new twist.
Dateline Green Forest - in Pursuit of the Dog
Rumors abound of a dog like animal wandering the green forest. This animal is
said to be a cherished pet of the Green Forest residents. Is this just another
tale or fable? Rumors about the myna bird, gorilla and tri-flower have been
proved to be true. Young Uruk'hai are being "encouraged" to hone their
exploration skill and seek out new discoveries.
Dateline Edel - Rats and more rats
Edel is still plagued by rats. These vermin are Spreading out of the sewers
and into all parts of the town. No exterminator has yet come forward and
volunteer their services. Apparently the rat's hoard is not worth the effort.
Dateline Opallinoc - Rumors and Things
Information is being sought about a blue metal chain. Contact the News Bureau
13
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 13 \/ Halfling Nation News -
&D
14
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 14 \/ Elohai Nation News -
15
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 15 \/ Khazad Nation News - Stoneheft -
Well, I guess it is time to solidify old myths and bedtime stories of our
youth into potential historical accounts. There appears to be more than a
little bit of truth to the old legends of the Deep Lode Forge and the armor
that was made.
For those that don't know... Legend has it that in the Time Of The Treaty,
when the dwarves were the only modern peoples with the sophistication and good
sense to make steel, all other nations came to us in peace to buy our perfect
metals. But, as with any great nation, our neighbors grew jealous. Most simple
cultures are prone to covet the success their superiors...
Anyway... The way my grandparents told it, the trolls initiated the attack. I
hear that the trolls say that humans started it. It doesn't matter, now. All
that matters is the fact that the good, hard working dwarves were slaughtered
for no more reason than they were trying to provide exceptional steel for all
and that the greedy "all" still had to take advantage of us. But I digress. The
story ends with the great steel foundry being run by the humans and trolls with
enslaved gnomes doing the actual labour. (Obviously... Like a human or a troll
could smelt steel without catching their greasiness on fire).
So, of course, like in all legends... The great Deep Lode Forge was built with
the help of sympathetic gods. Right in the center of the most magnetic deposits
of iron below... Some mountain range... I don't remember what my grandmother
said, I knew it was only a myth back then... And the valiant dwarves hammered
out hundreds of thousands of sets of armor so magnetically charged that it was
able to discharge lightning. The armies of dwarves then had no trouble taking
back their steel foundry and, of course, are still the cleverest people.
Continued...help CRY16
16
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 16 \/ Khazad Nation News - Stoneheft
Not much is said about what happened to the Deep Lode forge. I guess once the
foundry was back in production, the forge was forgotten and eventually assumed
to be the sort of story that grandmothers tell.
Anyway. I am convinced that it is true. The circulating rumours have the forge
being discovered by gnomes that looted it and tried to sell their plunder to
dwarves. Apparently they some how lost the sets of armour when a dwarven gang
tried to rob them.
Now, the gnomes that did have it haven't been seen in weeks, and the dwarven
gang that I suspect, Kurt's hooligans in Edel, won't deny being involved in the
roughing up of a bunch of gnomes but Kurt doesn't seem to have it on him.
All I can get out of older dwarves (That don't insist the whole story is a
myth) is that the Deep Lode armor used the magnetism of the whole world to
generate the lightning and strike down enemies. They say that this magnetism
of the armor makes it nearly impossible to wear without the right system of
hooks and clips to hold it together. One old soldier from Juargan's who claims
to have had ancestry that worked in the Deep Forge insists that it is nearly
crippling to wear an odd number of Deep Lode pieces because it was engineered
to be worn properly balanced.
17
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 17 \/ Olog'Hai Nation News - Leala
Our Chieftess, Leala, welcomes our new nation First, Grontarr. It is well
that we have another to help within the ranks.
Though it makes both Lealaand Grontarr heavy of heart to see their nations
numbers so diminished it is their firmly held belief that the ranks can be
rebuilt. T'Man has long been without the cries of the young learning mastery
of their skills. Those cries can still be heard of course, just very
infrequently. Leala and her kin are searching the lands as this is written
looking for young and old to gather home.
18
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 18 \/ Aerandir Nation News - Ashandra
In this time of rebuilding, the Aerandiri are seeking new trade partners. If
you need anything at all we can find it! Wan some new DrowSpice Wine, but
don't want to risk ending up in a cell? Come to us, we'll give you a fair
price and well lit safe environment as a bonus!
If you have any questions ask your nearest friendly Aerandiri merchant.
We offer speedy delivery, wide veriety of goods and most of all we will not
ask questions. If you need a rod of firebal for home defence, that's none of
our business. Need a pet triffid to deal with the neighbor's dog? We're glad
to be rid of it.
Any national leaders or diplomats interested in formal agreements feel free to
mail Ashandra, even if you don't someone will be comming to see you soon!
The Trade Comission of Mathlaan
19
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 19 \/ Aerandir Nation News - Ashandra
In March the Sea-elves will be attempting an experimental system to encourage
players. We will be doing a role playing session using an altered version of a
table top system known as paranoia.
Obviously there will not be robots and lasers. Instead we have kobolds and
bows. Friend Computer has several thousand years before he is invented, but
Friend Speaker is more than happy to send you into pointlessly dangerous
missions until someone can get around to building the first silicon chip.
Anyone interested in this little experiment is asked to send a mudmail to
Ashandra, or post a note of interest on the sea-elf board, or the board north
of National Visions. I am aiming for the second week of March with this as I
am testing out the system a few times with a few friends offline. Once the
bugs in the system are fixed I will be glad to unleash this system on the
realms.
20
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 20 \/ Sanctus Irae News - Averis-
. ) ( ) (
/(_ _)\ Baali Applications /(_ _)\
)`\\_\-=-/_//`( )`\\_\-=-/_//`(
/o (@)/.\(@) o\ Only the first three applicants of an /o (@)/.\(@) o\
\/ `__ * __` \/ open period will be scouted. Of these \/ `__ * __` \/
\|\VVV/|/ three, only one candidate will be \|\VVV/|/
\\AAA// interviewed. To be eligible to apply to \\AAA//
\---/ Baali, you must meet the following criteria: \---/
))|(( ))|((
( ___ ) <> Be an evil aligned avatar ( ___ )
| / | <> Be applying with your main character | \ |
| / | | \ |
| / | If you meet the criteria, seek out the Bukken and | \ |
| / | post your application there. The note of | \ |
| / | application must include: | \ |
| / | | \ |
| / | <> A brief introduction of yourself | \ |
| / | <> Reason(s) you wish to join Baali | \ |
| / | <> Why we should grant you audience | \ |
| / | <> Estimated online time and time of day you are | \ |
| / | on the most | \ |
| / | <> Names of alts you may be known by | \ |
| / | <> Organizations you currently have or have had | \ |
| / | membership in (including alts) | \ |
| / | <> Names of players you associate with | \ |
| / | <> Which of Baali's sects you are most interested | \ |
| / | in, and why (See the Baali website.) | \ |
| / | | \ |
| / | During your application period, it would be wise | \ |
| / | to be available to answer any questions that CDS | \ |
| / | or any Baali may have. Feel free to socialize and | \ |
| / | get to know us better, but keep in mind that spam- | \ |
| / | ming with questions about your application status | \ |
| / | is heavily frowned upon and will not reflect well | \ |
| / | on your application. | \ |
| / | | \ |
| / | Please contact any member with CDS in their title | \ |
| / | if you have any questions. | \ |
| / | | \ |
| / | It is advisable to review the Baali website at: | \ |
|___| http://thebaali.tripod.com |___|
(_____) (_____)
21
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 21 \/ December Quest Results - Annale
It seems as though everyone had a little bit too much fun over the holidays
and forgot to submit to December's quest! Therefore, this month, there are
no winners.
Frown!
Just think, if you had submitted, you might have been the only winner!
22
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 22 \/ January Quest - Annale
This month's quest is inspired by a humourous helpfile and some words of
inspiration found within it! Solve the Cryptogram below to be enlightened!
Submit your solution by mudmail to Annale by January 30th! Three winners
will be picked at random from all those who submit.
Good luck!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z|
| 16 12 6 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
D I D R I .
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
16 4 20 8 13 12 15 20 23 20 16 4 3 19 4 6 12 4 10 21 4
R I D I .
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
8 6 17 8 1 20 7 1 12 16 12 8
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 23 \/ Festivus Raffle Results - Gonnil
Gold prizes, 2,235,400,000 gold each
Winner #1: Charlene
Winner #2: Enosh
Winner #3: Uri
Grand prize, level 2 character of any racelass combination
Winner: Enosh
A total of 11,177,000,000 gold was spent on the raffle by 65 characters.
Thanks to everyone who participated.
24
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 24 \/ Ask CoE Questions
This month, the CoD asked some players for a few questions to ask CoE. We
are still waiting for some answers, but here is what people are asking:
1. The Guilds are in a serious state of degradation. Is this something on your
radar, and if so, is there something they are proposing/thinking about to
possibly create a more active Guild community?
2. Sects are on the rise, and as personal organizations, most of them serve
only 1 or 2 characters. Are they working as intended? Is there a possibility
for fleshing these organizations out more fully with commands/noteboards/etc.?
3. Would it be possible/feasible to have a Sect Imm who could/would work with
Sect owners about possible additions/addendums?
Stay tuned to the Cry for answers to these questions!! And if you have a
question that you would like answered, please mudmail it to Annale or Falennt!
25
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 25 \/ Loril Got Run Over by a Newbie - Romani
CHORUS: Loril got run over by a newbie logging out from mudding Christmas
eve. You can say there's no such thing as Thoric, But as for me and Stoneheft,
we believe.
-*-She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog, And we'd begged her not to go. But
she'd left her medication, So she stumbled out the door into the snow. When
we found her Christmas mornin', At the scene of the attack. There were tiny
hoof prints on her forehead, And incriminatin' newbie marks on her back.
(CHORUS)
-*-Now were all so proud of Stoneheft, He's been takin' this so well. See him
in there watchin' football, Drinkin' Guinness and playin' cards with cousin
It (Yeroc).
-*-It's not Christmas without Loril. All the imm's dressed in black. And we
just can't help but wonder: Should we open up her gifts or send them back?
(CHORUS)
-*-Now the goose is on the table And the pudding made of fig. And a blue and
silver candle, That would just have matched the hair in Loril's wig.
-*-I've warned all my friends and neighbours. Better watch out for yourselves.
"We should never give a license, to a man who creates a world to play with
elves."
(CHORUS)
26
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 26 \/ Festivus for the Rest of Us - Kinux
There are 3 parts to the Festivus celebrations:
1. Airing of Grievances
Should you wish to air your grieveances about the game, we would welcome your
thoughts posted to the Oracle. We will post the best grievances (this will be
available until December 26).
2. Feats of Strength
Should you wish to show off your feats of strength, you are welcome to utilize
the arena free of charge. Simply ask any visible level 52+ immortal if they
have time to watch over a festivus strength match, have a person (usually
someone weaker than you) who you wish to fight, and have at it! (this will
again be available until December 26th).
3. Festivus Pole
As always, don't lick the festivus pole in DH Square.
The Immortals of Realms of Despair wish you a happy Festivus, but are in no
way responsible for any Festivus related mishaps. For those that do not wish
to participate in Festivus, Happy (past) Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Seasons
Greetings and a Happy New Year.
27
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 27 \/ Top 10 RoD New Year's Resolutions - Annale
It is a long standing tradition for people to make resolutions on New Year's
Eve. Most people don't keep their resolutions, but it's our way of trying
to start the year off right.
If you haven't already made your resolution, the Cry of Despair has come up
with a couple to help you out!
1. Run seth!
2. Av that cleric/vampire/nephandi that you've had at level 25 since the
Shattering...
3. Equip that avatar cleric/augurer/nephandi/vampire...
4. Find Thoric's missing boots.
5. Lose 20 lbs (aka - rewrite your desc!)
6. Quit smoking... Father Time's black bong of deliberation.
7. Spend more time with (mud) family.
8. Try something new. PK and RP come to mind.
9. Finish cleaning/organizing your storages.
10. Help others. Advise them to read "Help me"
28
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 28 \/ New Year's Humour - Romani
New Year Traditions:
1. New Clothes: Many people believe that if they wear new clothes on New
Year day they will receive more new garments during the year. People wear red
color clothes as they believe red is symbolic to happiness and bright future.
So run big mobs and find those interesting items that you always wanted to
deck your character out with.
2. Newborn Babies are Lucky: Babies born on 1st January is considered to be
the luckiest persons throughout their lives. So start up a new character and
level it yourself!
3. Crying Should be Avoided: Many people believe that crying and wailing on
New Year day is a bad thing. On RoD this includes whining as it leads to
xchans.
4. Keeping the Doors Open: All the doors of the house should be kept open
at midnight to let the old year escape unhindered. This is especially hard
around GoT members or young thieves who are adepting their pick-lock skills.
5. Kiss at Midnight: It is believed that kissing at midnight increases the
affections and attachments that will continue throughout the year. Just stand
in DH [] and kiss anything that enters. Even a good mob or an old player need
love now and then.
Continued..Help CRY29
29
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 29 \/ New Year's Humour - Romani
6. Dance: It is believed that dancing in open air, around a tree on New
Year day brings luck in love and prosperity throughout the year. So go
frolic in Ashen Forest in your birthday suit! Or, if you are feeling really
brazen, streaking through Darkhaven might bring you luck in love!
7. Drain the Bottle: People believe that draining the last remnants from
a bottle of drink on New Year day brings good fortune. Bars in DH and many
other locations are open 24 hours a day! Stock up and share the drinking
with friends.
8. Avoid Washing Dishes and Laundry: Many people believe that washing
dishes and doing laundry on New Year day will lead to a death in the family.
And mostof them even do not wash their hair thinking it unlucky. This is
easy, just MUD all day!
9. Avoid Profanity: Many people do not use foul language on New Year day
and behave nicely. Shock the Imms! It will take them off guard and get them
to let their guards down for when you are more yourself.
10. Do Not Let the Precious Things Leave the House: It is believed that if
any precious things like money, jewelry etc leave the home on this day, luck
will go out of home. In some countries people do not let the garbage out or
even not dust their carpets on this day. Fill those storages, houses, and
hoard your goodies!
Continued..Help CRY30
30
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 30 \/ New Year's Humour - Romani
11. Erase All Debts: People pay all their debts before the New Year day.
Forget to pay someone off? Do it fast!
12. Make Noise: People believe that loud noise scares devil; so New Year
is celebrated with as much noise as possible. In many countries church bells
rung at midnight for this reason. Find bells and ring them, or just wear them
on your ankles to ward off evil spirits.
13. Load Wallets and Cupboards: People believe that the overloaded cup
boards and wallets full of money bring luck and prosperity throughout the year.
You can just stuff the bank with your money, but don't forget to save!
14. Give Gifts: It is believed that one should not leave the home before
someone comes in first. The first person who comes in should bring gifts.
Still have that fruitcake that someone gave you a few years back? Find it a
new home! Give away all your things so you can start fresh and run new things.
Maybe even deprive a DT from taking your equipment.
15. The Wind’s Direction: It is believed that the direction of wind during
the sunrise on New Year day decides the luck for the coming year. Wind from
east predicts natural calamities and wind from west predicts wealth but death
of a person of great national importance. Wind from south predicts prosperity
and wind from north predicts bad weather. No wind means prosperity and joy
throughout the year. It's called "Realms of Despair" for a reason! Don't
get too fooled by the wind!
31
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 31 \/ Christmas Fun - Annale
You hold a sprig of mistletoe in your hands.
You bat your eyelashes, and hold the mistletoe over your head invitingly.
You glance around, looking for a smooch victim.
Aha! Romani!
Romani backs away, obviously not filled with quite THAT much holiday spirit.
You sigh as you think of her.
Romani wants you to show some interest and is flirting with you.
Belkira laughs.
Tym holds a sprig of mistletoe in his hands.
Tym sticks out his chest, and holds the mistletoe over his head invitingly.
Tym scans the room looking for a smooch, his eyes finally settling on a victim.
Aha! Romani!
Romani looks around for a second before apparently thinking 'Oh what the heck.
Tym gives Romani a small peck on the cheek.
Romani beams brightly. No doubt Tym has something to do with it
32
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 32 \/ Christmas Titles - Annale
the snowball arena. It bugged some, but the basics worked. Destre.
Arlo is writing a book entitled '101 ways to stay Jolly this holiday season
without overindulging in decadence'
Kloey says, 'Be naughty and save Santa a trip!'
Nes'tle Quik.
Ceirana It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Year's that matters.
It's what you eat between New Year's and Christmas.
Romani de Carpathia-Umbramnia: Dear Santa, Leave me a Tiffany Diamond under
the tree and I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in your cookie
Krakith utters the words, 'puinsean' on your peppermint bark.
33
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 33 \/ Odd & Amusing Titles - Romani & Annale
Purell cleaning the lands as best she can.
Menta is Chief-Slap-A-Hoe From the Slapahoe nation!
Pexa floats like a butterfly, stings like a... moth.
Drulialirica's going off the rails on the crazy train.
Genvieve. o888P Y8o8Y Y888o.
Liljim... d88888 88888 88888b
Landi....,8888888b__d88888b__d8888888,
Enia.....88888888888888888888888888888
Woiere... Y8888P"Y88P"Y88PY88P"Y88888'
Lavitz... Y888 '8' Y8P '8' 888Y
Leorcher. '8o v o8'
Syndia.
34
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 34 \/ Quotes out of Context - Annale
Kaverin chats 'ash, you're either insane... or you read good books. either
way its bringing a crooked smile to my face'
Ashandra chats 'A little from column A, a little from columbi... B! column B.'
Stoneheft chats 'Wanna jump on my couch?'
Bulgroth chats 'no one should want to be on any couch with you, Stoneheft...
Ew...'
Stoneheft chats 'I adepted life by failing tonnes of times.'
Stoneheft chats 'Now I mud.'
Apophis chats 'heh, I passed French by failing a lot...does that count?'
Stoneheft chats 'You can pass french without speaking a word of it so long as
you smell of body odor and stale cigarettes.'
Stoneheft chats 'Sorry, french people. I know I'm offensive. I apologize.
Don't get angry and have to surrendur at me.'
Bolotomus chats 'star wars meets canada - travel to such exotic places as
obi-van couver, endorton, calgarissian and manitoba fett !'
Bolotomus chats 'meet the citizens of newfoundlando, see the sites in bantha
national park, shop in torontoonie or dartmouth vader... fish in jar jar bay'
35
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 35 \/ Medieval Jokes
Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.
Q: Have you ever seen a Duchess?
A: Yes--it's the same as an English "s".
Q: When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
A: Rust in peace!
Q: What did the dragon say when he saw St. George?
A: Oh no! Not more tinned food!
Q: How do you send a message in the forest?
A: By moss code.
Q: What do you call a mosquito in a tin suit?
A: A bite in shining armour.
Q: There are many castles in the world, but who is strong enough to move one?
A: Any chess player
Q. What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?
A. King Author!
36
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 36 \/ Wedding Announcement
( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )
( :::::::::::: :::::::::::: :::::::::::: )
( ::::::::: :::: ::::::::: )
( ::::::: ******** :: ******** ::::::: )
( ::::: **** **** **** **** ::::: )
( :::: **** **** **** :::: )
( ::: **** ** **** ::: )
( ::: **** The Staff of the CoD **** ::: )
( :::: **** would like to congr- ***** :::: )
( ::::: **** adulate Hubris and **** ::::: )
( ::::::: **** Venita on their **** ::::::: )
( ::::::::: **** Marriage. **** ::::::::: )
( ::::::::::: **** **** ::::::::::: )
( :::::::::::::: **** **** :::::::::::::: )
( ::::::::::::::::: **** **** ::::::::::::::::: )
( :::::::::::::::::::: **** :::::::::::::::::::: )
( ::::::::::::::::::::::: ** ::::::::::::::::::::::: )
( ::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::: )
( ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )
( ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )
( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )
37
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 37 \/ Join the Pkill League - Versetch
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------@
| |
| |
| |
| ALL ARE INVITED TO JOIN A NEWLY FORMED PKILL LEAGUE |
| |
| WE ENCOURAGE ANY ORGANIZATION, GUILD, ORDER, CLAN, OR SECT |
| |
| WISHING TO BE REPRESENTED IN THE LEAGUE TO MUDMAIL QEFEQUAMI. |
| |
| |
| INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS OF FRIENDS NOT WANTING TO REPRESENT AN ORGANIZATION |
| |
| ARE ALSO WELCOME TO CREATE TEAMS FOR COMPETITION. |
| |
| |
| PKILL LEAGUE IS FOR FUN AND BRAGGING RIGHTS. QEFEQUAMI WILL POST DATES |
| |
| AND TIMES ONCE ENOUGH HAVE SUBMITTED ENTRY. HOPING TO SEE A LARGE TURNOUT.|
| |
| |
@---------------------------------------------------------------------------@
38
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 38 \/ Shop with Guts'n'Glory!
If you are in need of some equipment at fair prices, look no further than
NW of DH[]! Kaleo and Lilkal are ready to help you with your equipment
needs!
With new items available on these bots, and constant restocking, Kaleo and
Lilkal can save you time and gold!
Just type whois kaleo or whois lilkal for a stock and price listing and
find them NW of DH[]!
39
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 39 \/ Advertise with the Cry!
Advertise with the Cry of Despair!
Do you own a bot?
Are you looking to sell a few things and make a little gold?
The Cry of Despair is a great place to advertise your wares!
Let people know where you park your sellbots, afterall, people need to know
where you are in order for you to get their gold!
Are you looking to buy something? Place an advertisement in the Cry!
Who knows, maybe someone is looking to sell what you are looking to buy!
Just write up a little advertisement and mudmail it to Annale, or post
it on the CoD Public board located e,s,3u,w from Darkhaven Square and
your advertisement will be published in the next issue!
40
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 40 \/ CoD Readers Reward
.=======================ooooooo
___ ,' \_________________________________________
/ /-/ dP / Cry of Despair //////////// ''--..._
\___\-\ dP \ Readers Reward \\\\\\\\\\\\ __..--'
`-------------------------------------''''''''''''''
The staff at the CoD would like to thank you, the readers for your support,
input, and for reading each month! For this reason, we have introduced The
Cry of Despair Readers Reward!.
Each month, 10 million gold coins will be made available to one lucky
reader!
How do you qualify? Just write to us at the Cry of Despair! Comprehensive
'Letters to the Editor', well-written feedback letters to an article, or
detailed suggestion letters are all qualifying entries!
A minimum of ten entries must be received in order for the draw to be
opened that month. If 10 entries are not received, the money is pooled and
added to the next issue's draw. The entries will also be saved for the next
draw. If, after ten issues there have not been enough submissions, the pot
will be emptied and restarted.
Who can submit? Why you, our loyal readers! Only one submission per
draw. Any person caught submitting multiple entries on alts will be
disqualified from the draw. CoD Staff, Immortals, and alts are not permitted
to enter the draw.
How do I submit? Mudmail your Letter to the Editor, feedback letter, or
letter of suggestion to Annale or Falennt or post your letter on the CoD
public board at e,s,u,u,u,w from DH[].
Submissions will be published in the same issue as the draw.
This month's gold pool is worth: 30 Million Gold Coins!
41
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 41 \/ Readers Reward Topic
To help generate some responses for the Readers' Reward, this month we have
come up with a topic, taken from Cry 1999. "Weird Things in RoD"
In a mudmail, attempt to come up with some weird things around RoD. Things
that don't necessarily make sense. Submit your mudmail to Annale or Falennt
by January 30th.
If 10 or more entries are received, the gold pool prize will be drawn! This
month the pool is worth 30million gold coins!!
And to get everyone started, here are a few oddities that were noticed in
1999, see if you can top them:
1. Why do beggars beg for money, and yet throw steak to dogs?
2. How do stray dogs get 10 coins, and beggars get none?
3. Why is all the good equipment anti mage, or anti evil?
4. Why do the av's always outbid me on the equipment I want on auction?
5. How can pixies wear the same armor as a half-ogre, and still fit in it?
42
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 42 \/ Happy New Year from the CoD
_
_ _ _ _ _ _ | |
/| |\ |\ |\ / |\ |_|
|___| _ _ _ | \ | _ / | _ _ ,_ _
| | / | | \ | \ / | | \ | /_\ / / | \___|//_\ / | | ` / \
\| |/\_|/|_/_/|_/_/\_| \| \| \__/\_\_| /| \__/\_|/| \_/
' | | /| ` ( |
| | \| \|
. `:
: : .
: .
[""]
| |
| |
| |
: .'--`.
_..-~-.._ : .: /`.__.'\
.' `. : . / \
.' .-'''''-. `. ,-'``'-. ; ;
/ ,' XII `. \ |`-..-'| | ,--. |
/ / /|\ \ \ | . :| |_.','`.`._|
| ; | ; | | . : | |--'2010`--|
| |IX o III| | |`-..-'| || | | | |
| ; ; | \::::::/ ||)|/|)|)|\|
| \ / | `::::' |._ ~**~ _.|
------| `. V I ,' |----)(----| `-..-' |-------
_____j `-.....-' | )( | |,--.
____/ / /\\ ,-._.--------.-.-' ,-')('-. | |\`;/
.-()___ : |`.!,-'`'/`-._ (___) ( ' ` )`-._ _.-'|;,|
`-, \_\__\`,-'>-.,-._ `-....-' ```` `--' hjw
`-._ (`- `-._`-.`
43
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 43 \/ Suggestion Box
We Love to Hear from You!
If you have enjoyed this issue's articles and would like to provide
feedback to our writers, feel free to submit your feedback in mudmail-form,
using the format below :
Article / Column :
Writer's Name :
The article was [ ] interesting (put an X in the chosen box)
[ ] alright
[ ] can be improved
How can this article be improved?
Other suggestions for the Cry
44
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 44 \/ Letter from the Editor
Lots going on this issue! Don't forget to get your votes in for the CoD
awards! And take a look at the Reader's Reward Topic for your chance to win
30 million coins! And if you are still idling after all that, take a look
at this month's quest! Lots for you to do!
As always, we looking for dedicated writers to submit articles each month.
Topics can be anything from stories to examining areas to mob discussion to
comparison of classes to life! Anything that tickles your fancy! Contact me
if you are interested!
And as always, I'd like to remind writers that the deadline for articles
is the 25th of the month!
Thanks for reading,
Annale Firestorm
45
/\
_ )( _________________________________________________________
(_)///////(**)_________________________________________________________>
)(
Page 45 \/ Write for the Cry!
Write for the Cry!
Currently the Immortal Sponsors are looking for more and more writers.
If you are interested then please write a short note saying why you would
like the position. Please include your normal online times so that the
immortals can interview you.
We also welcome freelance editors. Do contact Falennt or Annale for
more information.
We are also looking for more staff writers and freelancers. If you
would like to earn some income through writing just about anything, feel free
to speak with Falennt regarding your interest.
Our Current Payment Rates
Editor-in-Chief : 60 million gold per issue edited
Staff Writers : 4 million gold per page submitted.
Regular freelancers : 3 million gold per page submitted.
Organization Writers : 2 million gold per page submitted.
The Cry of Despair welcome all newbie and avatar writers alike. If
your passion is writing, do contact Falennt through mudmail or a tell.
Thank you in advance for your interest.
N.B.: Staff Writer : Cry of Despair Staff, Regular Submissions required.
Freelancer : Article submission not on regular basis, not required
to be on the Cry of Despair staff list.
