{"id":1752,"date":"2024-03-13T12:30:20","date_gmt":"2024-03-13T12:30:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1752"},"modified":"2024-03-13T12:30:20","modified_gmt":"2024-03-13T12:30:20","slug":"cry-of-despair-14","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-14\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #14"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In which we dared ask, what does Darrek wear under his kilt?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n      ______                         ___      |      ____\n     |      |.----..--.--.  .-----..'  _|    -O-    (____)         | \n     |   ---||   _||  |  |  |  _  ||   _|     |     \/____\\        -O-\n     |______||__|  |___  |  |_____||__|             |___.---.---.  |\n _____             |_____|           __             |__(  __|__  )_\n|     \\ .-----..-----..-----..---.-.|__|.----.      |\/ \\\/\\_\/\"\\._)\/ \\\n|  --  ||  -__||__ --||  _  ||  _  ||  ||   _|      (  (__{(@)}\\_)  )\n|_____\/ |_____||_____||   __||___._||__||__|        |\\_\/ (\/(_)\\_))_\/\n======================|__|=================== ______|_(  (__)_)_\/ )\n         July 4, 1999  No. 14  Vol. 1        \/_________\\_\/  | \\_\/\nEditor : Mystaric                           |\/   \/' |\\  \/'--'--'\nPrinter: Bede                                   |  (| \\\/ |       |\nSTAFF  : Allison Anaisse Apollonia Brakko       |   `\\   |      -o-\n     Conran Cyniq Dacoit Deevlit Elbanon    |    `\\  `\\  |    ___|\n     Keroppi Kuah Louellin Mea Naeblis     -O-     `\\  `\\|  \/' ..')\n     Ranstlin Romanu Thabo Tunclon Vestia   |     __|`\\  `\\: ,' \/'\n=============================================   \/' _ \/''`\\  '__'  |  \n              Table of Contents                ( .'.\/'   |  |    -O-\n                                                `-' |    |  |     |\n          Feature      Poems\/Stories                |    |\/'\n          Quests       Funny Bones              |   |    |\n          Guild News   Reunion                 -O-  |    |      |\n          Announcements                         |    \\  \/      -O-\n                                                      \\\/        |\n  ______ ______ ______   ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ ______ ______\n\n  ______ ______ ______   ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ ______ ______\n |   (__   () |   _)  \\ |   ---|  \\___|    . |_    _|     | |   () |  \\___|\n |______)______;______\/ |____| |______;____|_| |__| |_______;___|\\_\\______;\n -------------------- The Cry of Despair Feature Story --------------------\n\n\nThis we week have decided to feature a poll question about an immortal.\nHere is what the RoD community has to say about:\n                What does Darrek wear under his kilt?  \n \nMecil: a commercial underwear advertising a beer\nAnonymous: what or who?\nAremic: id have to go with...frilly pink panties..yeah =)\nHecar: a stubby (beer bottle)\nSomeone: says 'he wears %s under his kilt.. :P\nKrahl: his manhood\nNesett: Nothing, I think he goes regimental ;)\nSealom: nothing\nAsmodius: I am at a loss for words\nSomeone: I think he is a boxer man\nMoonbeam: a bottle opener\nPlessar: a pink frilled panty\nNalvaz: silk panties ;)\nSomeone: a chastity belt :P\nViracocha: I don't know, but I'm sure I'm going to have Nightmares about that\nLascivias: your death?\nLevana: nothing i hope heh\nLoril: I'd say prolly a belt with beer stein holsters But I'm not \n    sure I want him to show me :P\nCasdin: grins nice shaved legs and heart covered boxers \nElbanon: you must not fear darrek\nCasidin: Naa he's a big softie *gulps* plus I got plenty of beer left\nEhn: The body of a guitar\nHulkinn: Wonder Woman Under-roos\nLyrias: Id have to say shoes.\nAnonoumous: there. A funny bunny idol given to him by Jade \nMariyah: spiked garters?\nAphrael: laugh.. nothing of course!\nSerina: 'Uhm, if i told you then he'd know I peeked :(\nDria: oooh, this answer takes some consideration :) I would have to \n      say that Darrek doesn't wear anything under his 15-kilt, after \n      all who ever heard of troll underwear\nElisabet: silk scooby-doo boxers'\nTalanthus: was there some sort of pink panty story or something?'\nGrendimix: a thong'\nGorog:  an underkilt? \nBede: the lost boots of ranger Thoric?\n \n***\n \nI would just like to say that I find it disturbing how many people\ntake the time to look up Darrek's kilt.\n\n  ____                  _   \n \/ __ \\                | |     \n| |  | |_   _  ___  ___| |_ ___ \n| |  | | | | |\/ _ \\\/ __| __\/ __|\n| |__| | |_| |  __\/\\__ \\ |_\\__ \\ \n \\___\\_\\\\__,_|\\___||___\/\\__|___\/  \n           Quest Central\n \nOpen Quest\n\nReunion Quest\n \nThe object of this quest is to make up and original fictitious story about wh\nyou think will happen at the RoD Reunion. If you would like to base your story\non another work, you must state where the base material was obtained.  For\nexample, if you wanted to use the Night before Christmas, and change the title \nand content to the night before the RoD Reunion, you must give credit to the\noriginal author.  Poems, Stories, Songs are all acceptable. \n \n\n  _______________________________                               .  ,\n[ QUIZ TIME: THE DRAGON LABYRINTH ]                            .(\\\/),\n     ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.     (\\\/|\/)\n,-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-:\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"\/ }\/)\n:    ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.    :   -=-.       ,-=-.      ,\/`--\n:   :     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\":     '   :       '\"=-=\"'     '\":   :\n:   :,-=-.       ,-=-.      :   ,.    ;  ,-=-,       ,-=-   :   :,-=-\n:   '     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=   :   : '\"=-'\"'    :   .=\"'       :   :\n:    ,-=-        ,-=:.      ;   :        ,-=-:   :   ,-=-.  :   :,-=.\n:   :       :-=\"'   : '\"=-=\"    :   =-=\"'    :   :        '\":   :   :\n:   :,-=-.  :       :        ,-='.       ,-=-:   :   ,-=-   :   :   :\n:   :     '\":   :   :   :   :     '\"=-=\"'    :   ;=\"'       :       :\n:   :   -.  :   :   :   :   :,-=-.       ,   :       ,-=-.  :   .   :\n:   :     '\"'   :   :   :         '\"=-=\"'    :   ,=\"'     '\"'   :   :\n:   :,-=-.      :   :   :   ,   -.       ,-=-:   :   ,-=-.      :   :\n:   :     '\":   :       '-=\":     '\"=-=\"'    :   :   :    '\"=-=\"'   :\n:   :,-=-   :   :,-=-.      :,-=-.       ,-=-:   :   :   .          :\n:   :       :   '     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=:   :    '\"=-=\":   ;\n:   :   -.  :    ,-=-.        ,=-.       ,-=-.   :   :-=-.      ;,-=:\n:   :     '\"'-=\"'     '\"=-=   :   '\"=-=\"'        :        '\"=-=\"'   :\n:   :,-=-.       ,-=-.        ;=-.       ,-=-.   :   ,-=-.          :\n:         '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-:       '\"=-=\"'     '\"=:=\"'     '\"=-=\"'   :\n:    ,-=-.       ,-=-.    :  ,-=-.       ,-=-.   :   ,-=-.          :\n'-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     :   :\"'     :\"=-=\"'        :        '\"=-=\":   :\n     ,-=-.,      ,-   ;   :   .   :      ,-=-.   ;   ,-=-.      :   :\n=-=\"'  ._\/)\"=-=\"'     :   :   :   :   =\"'     '\"='=\"'     '\"=-=\"'   ;\n    ii\/\/ )\/)     ,-=-.;   :   :   :      ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=:\n,-9 ,\/\/) )=-=\"'         :   :   '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'   :\n \"\"_,),,\/ \"      ,   .    :  ,'=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.          :\n=-\"\"\" )))\\))=-=\"':    '\"=-'\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'   :\ngpyy ,-=-.       ;-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-=-.       ,-='\n=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'     '\"=-=\"'  \n\nThe idea is to go from the dragon's head, (lower left hand corner), \nto his tail (upper right hand corner).\n\n.__     .  .     \/ .__.     .           \/  __ .         \n[ __. .*| _| __ \/  |  |._. _| _ ._. __ \/  \/  `| _.._  __\n[_.\/(_|||(_]_) \/   |__|[  (_](\/,[  _) \/   \\__.|(_][ )_) \n \nGuild of Thieves News\nThe guild of thieves would like to welcome its newest members to the\nbrotherhood: Tequaz, Tiggsm Refyn and Xeromus! We would also like to\nwish good luck to those currently questing for membership. \n \nGoP News\nGoP would like to welcome Stradi and Landi new GoP members.  We have \na new addition to our bot collection as well.  Introducing Tracheon the\nGoP flower child.  In an effort to brighten recall, we now have a\ncharacter devoted to handing flowers out to members.  Do a whois Tracheon\nfor more information.\n \nThe IGQC Guild Wars final match is this Monday!\n \nGoD\/GoA vs. GoW\/GoV\nMonday, July 5th, 9 PM EST\n--------------------------\n \nThe finalist's standings are:\nGoD  6 - 0\nGoW  5 - 1\nGoV  4 - 1\nGoA  3 - 3\n\n                            ________________________________\n                           \/     , _                       \/\\\n       .      .'          |     \/|\/ \\ _   _          ,    |_\/\n        :`...' `.,'  '    |      |__\/\/ \\_|\/ \/|\/|\/|  \/ \\_  |\n    `.  ' .**.  ; ; ':     \\     |   \\_\/ |_\/ | | |_\/ \\\/    \\\n    ` ``:`****,'  .' :      \\                               \\\n  ..::.  ``**\":.''   `.      |                              \\|\/\n.:    `: ; `,'        :      |       _,         _|          \\||\/\n  `:    `   :         ;      |      \/ |  \/|\/|  \/ |           \\||\/\n    :   :   :        ;      \/       \\\/|_\/ | |_\/\\\/|_\/        \/\\||\/\n    :    :   :     .:      |                               |  \\||\/\n     :    :   :..,'  ``::. |                               |  \\||\/\n      `....:..'  ..:;''     \\                               \\  \\||\/\n      .:   . ...::::         |   () _|_  _   ,_  o  _  ,     | \\||\/\n     ,'''''``:::::::         |   \/\\  |  \/ \\_\/  | | |\/ \/ \\_   |  \\||\/\n               `::::         |  \/(_) |_\/\\_\/    |\/|\/|_\/ \\\/    |  \\||\/\n                 `::.        \/                               |    \\|\n                  `::     __\/___________________________    \/     ||\n           . ,.    ::::' \/    ,..                      \/   \/       |\n         .'.'  ``.  ::   \\  .'.. `.                    \\__\/        '\n        '        .: ::    ,'.'     .--------------------'\n      .' ,'    .::::::   ,.'    .:::.\n    .' .'  ..:'     ::: .,   .;'\n\n\nThe Point of Life\n \nWhat is the point of life?\nYou grow up, go to school\nThe off to college for a high paying job\nYou want money for your kids.\n \nWhat is the point of life?\nYour kids grow up, go to school\nThen off to college for a high paying job\nThey want money for there kids.\n \nWhat is the point of life?\nAll this work but yet not for you\nThen your kids do it but not for them\nWhy?\n \nWhat is the point of life?\nDo you know?\nDo I know?\nDoes anyonee really ever know?\nMaybe everyone finds out someday\n-Giko \n \nThoughts for Today\nThought for Today: Never argue with a fool. People may not know the \ndiffernce....\nElbanon\n\n  ______ ____ _ ______ ______ ______  ___\n |    __|    | |      |      |   | | |   |__ ______ ______ ______ _______\n |___|  |______;____|_;____|_;___  | |    . |    ) |      |  \\___|(_   (_`\n--- funny - bones --------- |______| |______;______;____|_;______|__)____)\n\n\n                              -FLAME FORM \n Dear:\n  [ ] Clueless Newbie         [+] Loser\n  [ ] AOLer\/Euronetter\/PIer   [+] Idiot\n  [ ] Me too er               [+] Geek\n  [ ] Spammer                 [+] Nerd\n  [ ] Fed                     \n  [+] Other: Unbearably self-righteous person\n \nYou Are Being Flamed Because:\n \n  [ ] You posted a \"test\" in a newsgroup other than alt.test\/nl.test\n  [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply\n  [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread\n  [+] You posted a \"ASCII ART SUCKS\" message\n  [ ] You said \"me too\" to something\n  [+] You suck\n  [ ] You brag about things that never happened\n  [ ] Your sig\/alias\/server sucks\n  [ ] You posted something totally uninteresting\n  [ ] You posted a message all written in CAPS\n  [+] I don't like your tone of voice\n\nTo Repent, You Must:\n \n  [ ] Give up your AOL\/Euronet\/Planet Internet account\n  [+] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it\n  [+] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor\n  [ ] Be Pat Buchanan's love slave\n  [+] Apologize to everybody on this mud\n  [ ] Beg over public channels to be Balzhured.\n \nIn Closing, I'd Like to Say:\n\n  [+] Get a life\n  [ ] Never play again\n  [+] I pity your dog\n  [ ] You have the IQ of a bannana.\n  [ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment\n  [+] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet\n  [ ] All of the above\n\nEnd of Flame.\nHave a nice day\n\n\nThings To Do In An Elevator \n-Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other\npassengers. \n \n-Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: 'Shut up, all\nof you just shut UP!' \n \n-Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got \nenough air in there?' \n \n-Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting \noff.\n \n-When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then\nact embarrassed when they open by themselves.\n \n-Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them \nto call you Admiral. \n \n-Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've\ngot new socks on!' \n \n-Meow occassionally. \n \n-Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. \n \n-Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side.\n \n-Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 'You're one of THEM!'\nand move to the far corner of the elevator.\n \n-Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.\n \n-Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other\npassengers that this is your 'personal space.' \n \n-Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.\n \n-Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.' \n \n-If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad Touch!' \n \n\n*Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery*\n \n-Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.\n \n-Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.\n \n-Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!!\n \n-Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie.\n \n-Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?\n \n-Could you stop that thing from thumping; it's throwing my concentration off.\n \n-Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.\n \n-And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.\n\n######################--..'|.##############.|`..--######################\n##############-.\/`.--.\/' .\/ ################ \\. `\\. --.`\\.-#############\n############-.' `.`-'   \/   -#############- .  \\   `-'.'  `.-###########\n##########-.'    |     |  .'\\ -##########- \/`.  |     |     `.-#########\n########-.'      |     |  |`.`._ -####- _.'.'|  |     |       `.-#######\n######-.'        `.    |  `..`._|\\.--.\/|_.'..'  |    .'         `.-#####\n####-.'            \\   | #.`.`._`.'--`.'_.'.'.# |   \/             `.-###\n##-.'       ......  \\  | ###.`-'(o\\||\/o)`-'.### |  \/  ......        `.-#\n-.`.......'-      `. \\  \\-####  |\\_  _\/|  ####-\/  \/ .'      -`........'.\n;.'                 \\ .----.__.'`(n||n)'`.__.----. \/                  `;\n`.   , __           .'    .'   `. \\`'\/ .'   `.    `.           ____   .'\n#:  \/|\/  \\       ..':      :    '. -- .`    :      :`..       (|   \\  :#\n#:   |___\/     .'   :     .'     .'__`.     `.     :   `.      |    | :#\n#:   | \\     .'    .`   .'       .\/  \\.       `.   '.    `.   _|    | :#\n#:   |  \\_\/.'    .' :       ....' \\__\/ `....       : `.    ` (\/\\___\/  :#\n#:       .'    .'    o--o          5th                 `.    `.       :#\n#:     ..'    .      |   |               o               `.   `..     :#\n#:  ..'      .'#     O-Oo  o-o o  o o-o    o-o o-o       #`.     `..  :#\n#;.'        .'##|    |  \\  |-' |  | |  | | | | |  |    ||##`.       `.:#\n#`.        .'###|\\_  o   o o-o o--o o  o | o-o o  o    \/|###`.       .'#\n##.`       '#####\\__---------------------------------__\/#####`      '.##\n###### For more information on the RoD Reunion see help reunion.  ######\n########################################################################\n\n  O                                              o      \n \/ \\                                             |      \no---oo-o  o-o o  o o-o   o-o o-o o-O-o o-o o-o  -o- o-o \n|   ||  | | | |  | |  | |    |-' | | | |-' |  |  |   \\  \no   oo  o o-o o--o o  o  o-o o-o o o o o-o o  o  o  o-o \n                     ANNOUNCEMENTS\n \n \nThe CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and ideas for the\npaper.  The board is located in our New Front Office which is located\ne,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].\n \nTo: All\nI would just like to say thanks to the CoD staff for giving me something\nentertaining and informative to read every week.  Good job, and keep\nup the good work :).\n     --Odessyus Harthlen (Number Two, Order of Templars)\n \nA note from CoD staff:\nWe received several comments from people that were offended by some of\nlast weeks poll answers.  While we apologize to anyone offended, we don't\nfeel it would add to the quality of the paper to censor responses to our\nquestions.  However, we do appreciate your comments and suggestions so \nkeep them coming in!!!\nStaff of CoD<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In which we dared ask, what does Darrek wear under his kilt? ______ ___ | ____ | |.—-..–.–. .—–..’ _| -O- (____) | | —|| _|| | | | _ || _| | \/____\\ -O- |______||__| |___ | |_____||__| |___.—.—. | _____ |_____| __ |__( __|__ )_ | \\ .—–..—–..—–..—.-.|__|.—-. |\/ \\\/\\_\/”\\._)\/ \\ | –…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-1752","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1752"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1752\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1761,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1752\/revisions\/1761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}