{"id":1754,"date":"2024-03-13T12:33:09","date_gmt":"2024-03-13T12:33:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1754"},"modified":"2024-03-13T12:33:10","modified_gmt":"2024-03-13T12:33:10","slug":"cry-of-despair-16","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-16\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #16"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-white-color has-text-color\">Elbanon: Twas the Night Before Reunion; Anaisse WolfsHeart interviews Hoerkin StarProfit<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"cryofdespair\">\n  ,- _-.                      \/\\ -_____\n (' \/|                       ||    ' | -,                      _    '\n((  ||   ,._-_ '\\\\\/\\\\  \/'\\\\ =||=  \/| |  |`  _-_   _-_, -_-_   ( \\, \\\\ ,._-_\n((  ||    ||    || ;' || ||  ||   || |==|| || \\\\ ||_.  || \\\\  \/-|| ||  ||\n ( \/ |    ||    ||\/   || ||  ||  -|| |  |, ||\/    - || || || (( || ||  ||\n  -____-  \\\\,   |\/    \\\\,\/   \\\\,  --____,  \\\\,\/  ,-_-  ||-'   \\\/\\\\ \\\\  \\\\,\n            \/) (                 (                     |\/\n           \/\/   -_-        07\/18\/99--No. 16--Vol. 1     '\n   [\/\/\/\/\/\/(*)|||(==========================================--------------\n           \\\\           dOOo.\n            \\)          O    Oo.    ..         Table of Contents\n                        O       b  ;::'\nEditor : Mystaric        Oo..    b;;;;       Feature    ... Cry  2\nPrinter: Bede               OooO';;;O::   *  Poems&Stories. Cry  7\n                               .o.O.'qb .P\"- Spot Light ... Cry 11\n         [STAFF]              dOo'oD  qoP    Funny Bones... Cry 12\nAllison  Anaisse  Apollonia   Udo            QuestCentral.. Cry 16\nBrakko   Conran   Cyniq        qob           Organizations. Cry 20\nDacoit   Deevlit  Elbanon       qob          Horoscopes ... Cry 21\nKeroppi  Kuah     Louellin      OP           Announcements. Cry 23\nNaeblis  Ranstlin Romanu       d' O         \nThabo    Tunclon  Vestia      .P  l\n  ______ ______ ______   ______ ______ ______ ______ _______ ______ ______\n |   (__   () |   _)  \\ |   ---|  \\___|    . |_    _|     | |   () |  \\___|\n |______)______;______\/ |____| |______;____|_| |__| |_______;___|\\_\\______;\n -------------------- The Cry of Despair Feature Story --------------------\n.....\nBrakko: 'What is your biggest responsibility as an imm? As an Editor?'\n \nMystaric: 'I have many responsibilities as an imm for one I'm responsible\n           for all the of coding I partake in and making sure that it \n           dosent cause harm to the realms, which at times it does :P I'm \n           part of the big Imm team, and try to work together with them \n           to make this place run smoothly and make it a fun environment \n           for everyone as an editor, I'm responsible for all content in \n           the paper, and decisions on what gets printed and what dosent.  \n           At times my responsibilities between editor\/Imm crash into each\n           other. But the immortal community and myself solve those conflicts\n           when they arise'\n \nBrakko: 'Mystaric how does it feel to have resuscitated the long lost\n         Newspaper of the Realms?'\n \nMystaric: 'Feels great, I'm glad I could put together a group of people\n           who work, well together and work well for realms. I hope we \n           can keep it up for ever within the first 3 months we have \n           achieved a lot, I'm hoping to make the paper bigger, better, \n           and to make it a real asset to realms.'\n \nConran: 'Are you currently working on any coding projects that we can look \n         forward to seeing in the near future?'\n \nMystaric: 'I'm working on coding projects, yes.  I cant comment on them at \n           this time until they are finished :) but I can say, I'm positive\n           they will be very entertaining for all'\n \nBrakko 'Mystaric other than coding and editing what else do you do in the\n        Realm?'\n \nMystaric: 'I'm a member of Maidenstone, currently I'm working on an area, \n           and I do my general immie duties'\n \nBrakko 'can you describe the general setting of your area to come?'\n \nMystaric: 'my area is based on the Devine Comedy. The first part will be \n           inferno. The area will lead characters through the circles of \n           hell and to the center of hell, with all kinds of fun and unique\n           surprises along the way'\n \nBrakko: 'when did you start playing the Realms?'\n \nMystaric: 'good question, I started out on a character named Mystaria, \n           she is a member of GoD.  it took her a very long time to av.\n           She was adopted my Phred Fyremusik and is still in GoD. I think \n           I have been around here for almost 2 years but when your on here \n           time seems to stand still'\n \nBrakko: 'what is your favorite place on the Realms? your office or any \n         hq doent count =P'\n \nMystaric: 'My favorite place is my mortal home, the panda in Kontaur, \n           Korith and I spent a lot of time there over the years.  This \n           October will be out 2 year wedding anniversary'\n \nBrakko: 'when you were growing up in the realms (were a lowbie) who did \n         you look up to if anyone?'\n \nMystaric: 'Drune helped me a lot when I was a newbie, I was totally lost.  \n           I used to play other LP based muds for years, but this was my \n           first smaug based mud. and I didn't have a clue as to what to \n           do or where to go. Drune really helped me, then Phred helped \n           me and adopted me, and then the entire GoD took me in their \n           fold and molded me.'\n \nCyniq: 'what is your crowning achievement here on rod?'\n \nMystaric: 'At this point in time it would be the paper. I'm very pleased\n           with all the progress the CoD has made and looking forward to \n           the future with them :)'\n \nConran: 'Were you in the previous paper's staff?'\n \nMystaric: 'i was not on the previous paper staff'\n \nThabo: 'what sort of requests for coding do ya get?'\n \nMystaric: 'from the moment I log on I get all types of requests for \n           coding help.  I try to explain to everyone that I am here \n           for the benefit of RoD, and not as an online answer factory,\n           I direct 100% of coding question to the Smaug mailing list. People \n           automatically think because I'm on the coding council I have the\n           answer to all Smaug coding questions\/mud client questions\/ISP\n           questions\/building questions when in reality I only can answer\n           questions on code I have been in direct contact with. so if I \n           sound slightly cold when direction you to Smaug mailing list, \n           take into account, I cant sit here and answer all questions, and \n           it is not my position to '\n \nElbanon says 'why did you imm? Were you in any councils before you immed?'\n \nMystaric says 'my original idea was to code all sorts of things for \n               Maidenstone, but I realized that I would have to code for the \n               entire RoD community. I enjoy coding and wanted to help with the\n               Smaug lib development. This character was in TS before I immed, \n               I also was the number 2 in Maidenstone'\n \n                           ________________________________\n                           \/     , _                       \/\\\n       .      .'          |     \/|\/ \\ _   _          ,    |_\/\n        :`...' `.,'  '    |      |__\/\/ \\_|\/ \/|\/|\/|  \/ \\_  |\n    `.  ' .**.  ; ; ':     \\     |   \\_\/ |_\/ | | |_\/ \\\/    \\\n    ` ``:`****,'  .' :      \\                               \\\n  ..::.  ``**\":.''   `.      |                              \\|\/\n.:    `: ; `,'        :      |       _,         _|          \\||\/\n  `:    `   :         ;      |      \/ |  \/|\/|  \/ |           \\||\/\n    :   :   :        ;      \/       \\\/|_\/ | |_\/\\\/|_\/        \/\\||\/\n    :    :   :     .:      |                               |  \\||\/\n     :    :   :..,'  ``::. |                               |  \\||\/\n      `....:..'  ..:;''     \\                               \\  \\||\/\n      .:   . ...::::         |   () _|_  _   ,_  o  _  ,     | \\||\/\n     ,'''''``:::::::         |   \/\\  |  \/ \\_\/  | | |\/ \/ \\_   |  \\||\/\n               `::::         |  \/(_) |_\/\\_\/    |\/|\/|_\/ \\\/    |  \\||\/\n                 `::.        \/                               |    \\|\n                  `::     __\/___________________________    \/     ||\n           . ,.    ::::' \/    ,..                      \/   \/       |\n         .'.'  ``.  ::   \\  .'.. `.                    \\__\/        '\n        '        .: ::    ,'.'     .--------------------'    \n      .' ,'    .::::::   ,.'    .:::.\n    .' .'  ..:'     ::: .,   .;'     \n \n\nThe night before the Reunion ...\nTwas the night of the Reunion, and all through the hotel,\nNot a creature was stirring, not even an elf.\nOur shields and our swords were hung with care.\nIn hopes that St. Thoric would soon be there.\n \nWe were all nestled within the cheep beds.\nWhile visions of Mystaric danced in our heads.\nWith mamma with her 'Bane and I with my 'Bliv,\nHad just settled in for some cheap hotel swill.\n \nWhen out in the parking lot, there rose a great clatter,\nI struggled out of bed to see the matter,\nAway to the window, I tripped and I glitched.\nTore open the curtains and fiddled with hitch.\n \nThe moon on the breast of the new-laid concrete\nGave the luster of mid-day to the vehicles in the street.\nWhen, what to my bleary eyes should appear,\nBut, a miniature sleigh, pulled by 8 tiny people.\n \nWith a little old driver, so lively and quick.\nI new in a minute it must be St. Thoric.\nLike fighting mules, his coursers slogged forward.\nAnd he screamed and he shouted, and called them by name.\n \n\"Now Edmond!, now Dria!, now Tricops!, and Sarah!,\nOn Darrek!, on Altrag!, on Stoneheft!, and Casdin.\nTo the top of that balcony, to the top of that wall.\nNow slog away! Slog away! Slog away all!\"\n \nAs dry leaves that before a hurricane fly,\nWhen they meet with an obstacle they certainly did cry.\nSo up to my balcony, the coursers they flew.\nWith a sleigh full of corpses, and St. Thoric too.\n \nAnd then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,\nThe ranting and raving of each little hoof.\nAs I drew my sword in hand, and was turning around.\nDown the water drain came St. Thoric with a bound.\n \nHe was dressed all in metal, from his head to his foot.\nAnd his armor was all tarnished with ashes and soot.\nA bundle of bodies he had flung on his back.\nAnd he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.\n \nThe stump of a pipe, he held in his teeth.\nAnd the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.\nhe had a broad face, and a tight little smile.\nAnd fangs he did bear, when he did smile.\n \nHe was muscled and buff, a right evil old elf.\nAnd I cringed when I saw him, in spite of myself.\nA wink of his eye and a twist of his head,\nhe soon conveyed, I had everything to dread.\n \nHe spoke not a word, but went to his work,\nHe stole my shield, then turned with a jerk.\nAnd laying his sword over my throat,\nHe laughed and he giggled as I died with a croak.\n \nhe sprang to his sleigh, to his inferiors, gave a whistle.\nAnd they all flew away like the down on a thistle.\nBut I heard him exclaim, despite my fading light.\nHappy reunion to all, and to all a good night!\n \nI chose night before Christmas cause I couldn't think of anything else ...\nand you had conveniently provided that suggestion in the quest.\nElbanon\n \n____ ____ _  _ _ _    _   _    ____ ___  ____ ___ _    _ ____ _  _ ___\n|___ |__| |\\\/| | |     \\_\/     [__  |__] |  |  |  |    | | __ |__|  |\n|    |  | |  | | |___   |      ___] |    |__|  |  |___ | |__] |  |  |\n \nInterview with Hoerkin StarProfit\n \nTracing the ties of the RoD family StarProfit was not the easiest of tasks.\nThey are a very large group of people, bonding together under the common motto \n\"Never, ever waste coin.\" Begun 5 years ago by head of the family Duquesne\nStarProfit and his two brothers Ynnug and Ukiah, the family has prospered\nand expanded.  According to Hoerkin, the adopted son of Ukiah and Xanthia,\n\"A large number of family members are in Ringbearers.\"\n \nDuquesne StarProfit married Morphina 3 years ago and she has become the\nMatriarch of the family.  Hoerkin kindly gave me some 'inside' nicknames...\n\"Duq is known as the old Troll, Ynnug is known as the goat, and Morphina,\nthe first female member of the family, I might add, is known as Grandma,\nGrandma Profit.\" I asked if those were ok to print, to which Hoerkin\nreplied with an evil grin \"I am sure they will be fine with it...provided\nthey get royalties.\" \n \nHoerkin went on to add that he and his wife Jesnar became a part of the family \non their wedding day. An only child, Hoerkin informed me that he and Jesnar are\ncurrently expecting a child!  Good luck and best wishes to the happy couple and\nthe new addition to the StarProfit family!!!\n \n...Anaisse WolfsHeart (House of GreyBorne)\n \n  ______ ____ _ ______ ______ ______  ___\n |    __|    | |      |      |   | | |   |__ ______ ______ ______ _______\n |___|  |______;____|_;____|_;___  | |    . |    ) |      |  \\___|(_   (_`\n--- funny - bones --------- |______| |______;______;____|_;______|__)____)\n \nFunnies Submitted by you!!\n \nWitnessed in Seth's Fortress:\n \nA cleric of Seth beams a smile at A dirty rat.\nA cleric of Seth says 'Tell me dirty, when was the last time\n  you confessed before Lord Seth?'\n \nWitnessed on avchat:\n...\nGloin: everyone else, go make me some pie :p\nKali: Gloin, did you just tell me to make you pie?\nKali: Gloin?\nPie: yes kali? :P\nKali: I have made you a pie\nPie: moan\n \nBE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! *muhaha*\nSubmitted by Axius\n \nJust some interesting slays I've gotten lately...or at all for that matter.\nPreia: I'm sure she's got much better things to do than that\nKali: SHE?\nPreia: *slap self* *gives a token saying 'One free Preia slay' to Kali*\nEverything begins to fade to black.\nKali orders his dogs to rip you apart.\n \nTaboo: Lascivias forces you to 'oink'\nPreia: she wants you boo...run for your life\nEverything begins to fade to black.\nLascivias freezes you with a glance and shatters your frozen body\ninto tiny shards.\n-Preia Ravenlock has been recently slayed twice is standing here.\n \nWeird things\nI just wanted to point out a few weird things ive noticed.\n1. why do beggars beg for money, and yet through steak to dogs?\n2. how do stray dogs get 10 coins, and beggars get none?\n3. why is all the good equipment anti mage, or anti evil?\n4. why do the av's always outbid me on the equipment I want on auction?\n5. how can pixies wear the same armor as a half-ogre, and still fit in it?\n   ok, I cant think of any more. maybe ill put some more up when I do.\n \nSubmitted by Futhark\n \n\nEveryone complains about the price of gas per gallon.\nWell think of it this way.\n \nDiet Snapple 16 oz. for $1.29 = $10.32 per gallon\nLipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon\nGatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 per gallon\nOcean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 per gallon\nQuart of Milk 16 oz for $1.59 = $6.32 per gallon\nEvian (water) 9 oz for $1.49 = $21.19 per gallon\nSTP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 per gallon\nVicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8.35 = $178.13 per gallon\nPepto Bismol 4 oz for $3.85 = $123.20 per gallon\nWhiteout 7 oz for $1.39 = $254.17 per gallon\nScope 1.5 oz for $0.99 = $84.84 per gallon\n \nYou get the idea..........\n \nSo next time your at the pump be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil or\nScope.\n \n\nMecil has just lead a 9 hour guild run..be gentle.\nIn the 8'th hour of guild marathon running the conversation\noften takes unexpected turns.\nTralk says '3:30 here, getting new baby from hospital today :)'\nMerit says 'awesome!'\nMerit says 'boy or girl?'\nTralk says 'another girl'\nIktome says 'Mmmm, cradle snatching is fun isn't it'\nIktome looks innocently about himself\nGreetmir waggles his finger at Iktome, for some reason.\nGreetmir says 'expensive hobby tho' (babies)\n------\nAlendil says 'my girlfriend is a vile tempstress'\nMecil says 'ain't that the best kind?'\nAlendil says 'she just turned off my light tonight and pushed me on my bed'\nMecil says 'well don't complain man'\nAlendil says 'i felt like giving myself five for not having to do anything\n------\nMinsc says 'where is best place to get gold?'\nGrakmir says 'mobs ... eq ... sell'\nMinsc says 'i mean actual gold... '\nGrakmir says 'then downed eels economy anyways'\nIktome says 'Assassinating link-dead people.. telling you, its the way to go'\n \nYou counciltalk 'force the lowbie to eat =P'\nSint eats a mushroom.\nSint chokes and gags.\nKattia ACKS at her big mistake.\nYou counciltalk 'your in trouble now!'\nThis happened during the open forum TS had\n \n\nQuest Central\n \nRiddle Quest \n \nWhat follows is a quest of the mind, rather than the body.\nThis will give equal opportunity to the lowbies and the week of heart.\n \nAnswer my riddles :\n1) The Traveller.\nA traveller comes to a fork in the road which leads to two villages. In \none village the people always tell lies and in the other village the \npeople always tell the truth. The traveller needs to conduct business \nin the village where everyone always tells the truth. A man from one of\nthe villages is standing in the middle of the fork, so there is no \nindication of which village he comes from. The traveller approaches the\nman and asks him just one question. From the man's answer, he knows \nwhich road to follow.\nWhat did the traveller ask?\n \n2) Thiz sentense hav fife faults. -- Is this statement right or wrong?\n \n3) 1. In the forest, a hotel has an infinite number of rooms. An infinite\nnumber of forest people arrive and each takes a room. So far, so good.\nNow you would like a room.\n \nCan the hotel accommodate you? If so, how?\n \n2. The hotel has an infinite number of rooms. An infinite number of \nforest people arrive and each takes a room. So far, so good. Now \nanother infinite number of guests arrive.\n \nCan the hotel accommodate them all? If so, how? \n \n4) An archeologist proudly told that he had found four silver coins which,\naccording to the inscription \"649 B.C.\", should now be 2720 years old.\nThe press considered him a fraud and a dreamer. Why?\n \n5)In a library are catalogues in which books are registered. There are \ncatalogues which catalogue catalogues. One catalogue catalogues all\ncatalogues which do not catalogue themselves.\n \nIs this catalogue itself in there? \n \n6)A poacher who got caught was to be executed. However, he was allowed to\nchoose the method of his execution by making a statement: if the\nstatement were true, he would be beheaded; if the statement were false,\nhe would meet his demise by hanging. The poacher saved his life by \nmaking a statement which was a paradox.\n \nCan you tell what his statement was?\n \n7) A team of the best scientists in the world has gathered for a unique \noccasion. They have recovered the body of a man, completely nude and \nencased in ice. The prehistoric man seems to be in remarkable \\\ncondition, no damage has occurred to the body since the begining of\ntime. After closely examining the body for no more than a few hours\nthey come to the conclusion that this prehistoric man MUST be \"Adam\",\nthe first man ever. What drives them to this conclusion and why?\n \n8) You are a cavalier, riding your horse in search of a princess to \nrescue. You arrive at a castle that has two doors. The doors cannot be \nopened from the outside. There is an inscription between the doors that\nreads:\n \nOne of the doors opens when a truth is told and the other door \nopens when a lie is told. The princess is behind one of the doors, \nand the dragon is behind the other door.\n \nWhat would you say to free the princess? \n \n9)Four men are walking in a forest. They come to a path. They must all\nget to the other side, but only two (two maximum) can travel at the \nsame time (so no dragging anyone or anything). It is night, so they \nrequire a light but there is only one torch and no all the wood in the\nforrest is wet. The four men are of differing physical strength, one \nman can walk the distance in 1 minute, the second in 2 minutes, the \nthird in 5 minutes and the fourth man in 10 minutes. How do the men all\nget across in 17 minutes.\n \n10) What would happen if an unstoppable force collided with an immovable object\n \nPlease send all entires via Mud mail to Elbanon before Friday July, 23.\n \nAll prizes will be given out all winners please look for a note in your \ninventory stating your prize was given.\nThe following people explained how they got their answers:\nCyril\nIkeusavan\nAlexian\nElisabet\n \nThe following people answered correctly but didn't say how they got the answe\nHitomi Durealla Torinir Xantryke Indious\nJeronam Syera Rathain Ranthor Rannu\nLauren Beccalyzie Preia Reinso Unnar\nTangarth Turalyon Fobertron Radamil \n \nThanks to the following for participating:\nAsbras Bainnor Baltor \nGral Alerious Centauri\nKuah Thatch \n \nOne way to answer follows -\n\nTen steps are needed to get from the first A to the last A. Each time,\nyou are confronted with two ways to follow. So there are 2 to the tenth power\n= 1024 ways you can form the word ABRACADABRA\nso the correct answer is 1024 \n \n\nGuilds\/Orders\/Clans\n \nBaali News \nThe Order of Baali would like to congratulate Durealla on her new postion  \nof Quest Wench, So for her yahztzee quests have been a blast and we all \nlook forward to the Upcoming GoM vs Baali Quest. \n \nThe Order of Baali has almost completed the revamping of the Induction \nprocess and is aiming for opening it's doors Wednesday July 18 We will \npost more information at a later date.  \n \nThe Order of Baali would also like to welcome it's newest member Ogget \nWe are sure he will be a great asset to the order. \n \nThats all for now \nCyniq Dela Drones\n \nGoT News\n \nThe Guild of Thieves would like to welcome our newest members:\nZentas, Moxon, and Stihl. We also would like to announce that\nKuah has been promoted to Guild First and Gultar will sit in as\nGuild Second as we ponder the disappearance of former Guild First\nBelmore. If anyone in the realms has any word on him, please\ncontact the Guild of Thieves.\nAlso we would like to announce our new Stellar Stars program.\nThis new program allows active members of the guild to gain\npoints for being active. These points can then be used to buy\nequipment from the guild storage and used to participate in\nother guild events.\n - Kuah\n \n\nHoroscopes\n \nAries- Try not to wander around areas that you are not familiar with, bad\n       things may happen.\n \nTaurus- Keep an eye out for old friends, they could prove to be useful.\n \nGemini- Luck is on your side, try it out with a small group, it may have\n        rewarding results.\n \nCancer- Great fortune smiles your way, look towards Gemini to share its \n        luck in wealth.\n \nLeo- Staying close to home can be rewarding, but keep away from the nearest\n     donation, as ill fortune comes from greed.\n \nVirgo- The stars are against you, beware of death traps, stay home.\n \nLibra- Generosity can only get you so far, greed will take you the rest \n       of the way.\n \nScorpio- Make sure to help your friends today, soon you may need the \n          returned favor.\n \nSagittarius- Fortune will come your way, provided you are willing to share.\n \nCapricorn- Watch where your feet tred, familiar places may hold new dangers.\n \nAquarius- Watch who you challenge to a fight in the arena, luck is not on\n          your side.\n \nPisces- Keep track of your gold, you will soon be in need of it.\n \n\n  O                                              o      \n \/ \\                                             |      \no---oo-o  o-o o  o o-o   o-o o-o o-O-o o-o o-o  -o- o-o \n|   ||  | | | |  | |  | |    |-' | | | |-' |  |  |   \\  \no   oo  o o-o o--o o  o  o-o o-o o o o o-o o  o  o  o-o \n \n( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n( ::::::::::::            ::::::::::::            :::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::                   ::::                   ::::::::: )\n( :::::::         ********     ::     ********         ::::::: )\n( :::::      ****          ****  ****         ****       ::::: )\n( ::::     ****               ****               ****     :::: )\n( :::     ****                 **                 ****     ::: )\n( :::     ****        The Staff of the CoD        ****     ::: )\n( ::::     ****       would like to congr-       *****    :::: )\n( :::::     ****      adualate Krogen and       ****     ::::: )\n( :::::::     ****    Zyboria on their re-    ****     ::::::: )\n( :::::::::     ****       cent union.      ****     ::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::     ****                    ****     ::::::::::: )\n( ::::::::::::::      ****            ****      :::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::       ****    ****       ::::::::::::::::: )\n( ::::::::::::::::::::        ****        :::::::::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::::::::      **      ::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::::::::::          ::::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::      ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n( :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: )\n \n\nTO: CoD writers\nThe horoscopes are way too optimistic, you might let some people\ndown. Tsk tsk.\n-Turalyon the tunafishy.\n \nThe CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and\nideas for thepaper. The board is located in our New Front Office \nwhich is located e,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].\n \nThe public board in Town Hall for the CoD is for *only* things pertaining\nto the paper. It isn't for people wishing to contact immortals. Or for\npeople who want to apply to organizations such as guilds\/orders.\nTry to keep things posted on the public CoD board to articles, \nstories, humor, or anything else that might have something to do\nwith the paper.\n \nThank you, \nThe Staff of the CoD.\n \n\nSay, you! Yes, you, sitting there with your dagger\ndripping with the blood of some unlucky mob!\n \nSure, you can kill these things for fun and profit,\nbut deep down you want something more meaningful.\nYou want to show the Realms your stuff, that you're\nnot just another roseate ring-headed killer.\n \nBut how do you stand away from the crowd?\nHow do you distinguish yourself?\n \nIt's simple! Write for the CoD! Your words will\nbe immortalized for all time! Your name will resound\nthroughout the land! You'll get long hours\nand the occasional pizza slice!\n \nIf you are in the following organizations:\n \n       DS, RB, RNF, GoV, GoW \n \nSend mudmail to Mystaric with your application!\nDo it now, or we'll sic the Chadoyn on you. Grrr.\n \nIn your application please use the following format.\n \n            Name:\n           Class:\nGuild\/Order\/Clan:\n \nWhy you want to join the paper staff.\nWhat you feel you can do to make the paper better.\nA brief sample of your writing using one of the following topics.\n1. Informative - report on an event or happening in the realms\n2. Creative story - Short piece of fiction.\n3. Humor - Comical review or witty story.\n4. Design - Sampling of your ASCII art.\n \nApplications will be accepted for one week only.\nMystaric\nEditor - Cry of Despair\n \nTHANKS for reading the Cry of Despair!<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Elbanon: Twas the Night Before Reunion; Anaisse WolfsHeart interviews Hoerkin StarProfit ,- _-. \/\\ -_____ (&#8216; \/| || &#8216; | -, _ &#8216; (( || ,._-_ &#8216;\\\\\/\\\\ \/&#8217;\\\\ =||= \/| | |` _-_ _-_, -_-_ ( \\, \\\\ ,._-_ (( || || || ;&#8217; || || || || |==|| || \\\\ ||_. || \\\\ \/-||&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-1754","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1754"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1754\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1763,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1754\/revisions\/1763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}