{"id":1813,"date":"2024-03-15T17:24:27","date_gmt":"2024-03-15T17:24:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1813"},"modified":"2024-03-15T17:24:28","modified_gmt":"2024-03-15T17:24:28","slug":"cry-of-despair-41","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-41\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #41"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-white-color has-text-color\">McBaker&#8217;s fortune cookies; Treasure Chest: chocolate; Moonbeam wartalks<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"cryofdespair\">\n=================================================================\n\n THE CRY OF DESPAIR #41\n\n\n        \n=================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Mortal Staff:\n\n        Aylssa, Begaria, Conran, Dein, Lorel, Naithalia, Oknelim,\n\n        Saraphin, Shingo\n\n        \n\n        Immortal Staff:\n\n        Cersei, Elisabet and Kyrnia\n\n        \n\n        Editor and Chief:\n\n        Kuah\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Table of Contents\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Desk of the Editor\n\n        A small look into what changes we have coming!\n\n        \n\n        The 2nd Annual Realms of Despair\n        Awards\n\n        It's back! Be sure to get your vote in!!!\n\n        \n\n        Prophecy Place\n\n        Fortune Cookies...\n\n        \n\n        Quest and Contest\n\n        Can you create a catch phrase for RoD?\n\n        \n\n        Treasure Chest\n\n        Candy Bar!\n\n        \n\n        RoD Genealogy\n\n        Tracking bloodlines\n\n        \n\n        Funny Bones\n\n        Channel fun and Funny titles!\n\n        \n\n        Thank You\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Desk of the Editor By: Kuah\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        What's the good word? If you have not heard by now of the\n\n        changes coming to the CoD, I'll try my best to fill you in.\n\n        The biggest is the return to a monthly format along with a\n\n        cut down on free-style type articles and more of a focus on\n\n        the mud and you, its players (our readers!).\n\n        \n\n        Also there will be staff and format changes these next few\n\n        issues as we move to the monthly format. With this, we hope\n\n        to become even more of a voice for the players of the mud\n\n        and provide better insight into the groups and people of\n\n        these realms. Some of the articles and sections will change,\n\n        others will be removed altogether.\n\n        If you have a comment, be it praise or critical ,\n\n        you can mud mail me (Kuah) or post it up on the ,`\/`,\n\n        CoD public board located e,s,2up,s,w,s from ,`\/`,\n\n        Darkhaven Square or south of Quills and Parchments , \/ ,\n\n        on Market Street. `\/,'\n\n        Thanks .-Y-.\n\n        Kuah |'-'|\n\n        '-.-'\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        2nd Annual Realms of Despair\n        Awards By: Shingo\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        The 2nd annual Realms of Despair Awards are coming up, and we\n\n        need your help to determine this year's winners. Last year,\n\n        we had a huge success with 20 different categories to vote on.\n\n        This year, we've added 4 more, with the exception of getting\n\n        rid of a few of the old ones for even better categories.\n\n        HOW TO VOTE:\n\n        Take one blank note, and on it, write the following:\n\n        \n\n        Note to: Shingo\n\n        Note subject: Voting Form - (Your Name Here)'s Picks\n\n        1. Whoever\n\n        2. Whatever\n\n        3. Et cetera\n\n        \n\n        So on and so forth. Use up the 24 lines to vote once per\n\n        category. Each vote should fit on one line. Failure to submit\n\n        a proper voting form will have all votes nullified and not\n\n        counted for.\n\n        \n\n        One vote per category, one form per player. Please do not\n\n        \"stuff the ballot box\" by using alternates. If we find out,\n\n        all votes from you and your alt(s) will be nullified and\n\n        perhaps further action will be taken.\n\n        \n\n        THE CATEGORIES:\n\n        \n\n        Best Male Immortal\n\n        This category is to vote for the Male Immortal who worked the\n\n        hardest, has shown himself vis quite often to answer many\n\n        questions, and has generally had a positive influence on the\n\n        players and the development of the MUD.\n\n        \n\n        Best Female Immortal\n\n        This category follows the same guideline as the Best Male\n\n        Immortal.\n\n        \n\n        Best Male Mortal\n\n        This category is for the one Mortal who has given all he has and\n\n        more for the greater good of the MUD. We use \"Mortal\" because\n\n        this doesn't necessarily apply specifically to Avatars. Nominee\n\n        must have shown some characteristics that would make them worthy\n\n        of Immortal status.\n\n        \n\n        Best Female Mortal\n\n        Once again, the Best Female guideline follows the same as the\n\n        Best Male.\n\n        \n\n        Best Male Roleplayer\n\n        This category is for all the vagrants, vagabonds, knights and\n\n        kings out there who have shown themselves as worthy heroes or\n\n        villains, and best exemplify what it is to be a great\n\n        Roleplayer.\n\n        \n\n        Best Female Roleplayer\n\n        The same as Best Male but for the witches, good or bad,\n\n        valkyries and queens.\n\n        \n\n        Best Rename\n\n        This is for the best rename, be it funny, serious, or just\n\n        plain original. When casting your ballot for this category,\n\n        include the rename and to whom the rename belongs to.\n\n        \n\n        Best Couple\n\n        Vote for who you believe is the best married couple of the\n\n        Realms. Casting for this category will depend on just how public\n\n        their private love life is...\n\n        \n\n        Best Area\n\n        Vote for the area that you believe has the most challenge,\n\n        prime equipment, or just fun. This category is not limited to\n\n        just \"Avatar\" areas.\n\n        \n\n        Best Quest Mobile\n\n        Which mobile had you running scared or charged up to do battle?\n\n        Vote for who you believe was the best Quest Mobile, and don't\n\n        forget to include which immortal ran the Quest.\n\n        \n\n        Best Mobile\n\n        Different from the Quest mobile, which current mobile has you\n\n        wishing you had it's equipment? You can decide based on\n\n        Equipment, challenge or description.\n\n        \n\n        Best (Worst?) Death Trap\n\n        Vote for the Death Trap that best describes your agonizing\n\n        death...\n\n        \n\n        Best Guild\n\n        While the winner will likely be decided by which Guild has the\n\n        most members, decision should be based on which Guild has run\n\n        the better quests, and a great reputation amongst players.\n\n        \n\n        Best Order\n\n        This category follows the same guideline as Best Guild.\n\n        \n\n        Best Clan\n\n        Once again, this follows the same guideline as Best Guild and\n\n        Best Order.\n\n        \n\n        Best Weapon\n\n        Plenty of new weapons have been discovered since last year's\n\n        Awards. Is one better than the others overall?\n\n        \n\n        Best Piece of Armour\n\n        Same guideline as Best Weapon, but this includes any and all\n\n        pieces of armour (wrist, head, waist, body, etc.)\n\n        \n\n        Best Biography (Bio)\n\n        Is there a bio out there that is better than all the rest? It\n\n        can be funny, serious, lame or a poem written by someone who\n\n        doesn't exist in these Realms. Obviously, voting for this\n\n        category means you write the player's name to whom the bio\n\n        belongs to.\n\n        \n\n        Oughtta Be Destroyed\n\n        This is the award for that special someone who gets on your\n\n        nerves in any and every way possible. No discrimination here,\n\n        all sexes are up for it. As a bonus, the winner of this award\n\n        will have it named after them!\n\n        \n\n        Court Jester\n\n        This award goes to the person (male or female, mortal or\n\n        immortal) who makes you laugh the most.\n\n        \n\n        Best Name\n\n        Who do you think has the coolest name? It can be funny, or\n\n        serious, or a statname. Any sex applies.\n\n        \n\n        Best Food\n\n        Which food moistens your mouth the most?\n\n        \n\n        Best Drink\n\n        After eating that Best Food, which drink makes you feel like\n\n        you had a full meal?\n\n        \n\n        Best Social\n\n        This is the award for the social that best captures the essence\n\n        of human (and all other races) emulation in a single line of\n\n        text. There's plenty to choose from!\n\n        \n\n        Please remember to follow the voting guidelines. (HELP CRY4)\n\n        And know that all votes will be kept confidential to the Staff\n\n        of the CoD, so feel comfortable voting and do not ask who voted\n\n        for what. Have fun!\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Prophecy Place By: Naithalia\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Fortune cookies--soothsayer sound bite and crunchy treat in one.\n\n        But are they accurate? Don't worry your pretty heads, dears,\n\n        Naithie will find out for you. I journeyed to the back shop of\n\n        McBaker's, which happens to be a delicious Chinese restaurant,\n\n        and ordered two dozen of the best cookies they had. Here, in\n\n        the order of which they were eaten, is the fortunes I had...\n\n        \n\n        Take time to smell the daisies.\n\n        Hey, shouldn't you leave a larger tip?\n\n        Everybody needs somebody to love them.\n\n        \n\n        Why?\n\n        One is the loneliest number you'll ever do.\n\n        Rat races are useless: at the end, you're still a rat.\n\n        Let's do the time warp!\n\n        Do you really want to hurt me?\n\n        \n\n        Why not?\n\n        I can't believe all the good luck you will have.\n\n        Lay your burden down, girl.\n\n        Lone Ranger wasn't lone-he had Tonto. What's up with that?\n\n        \n\n        Even billionaires have bad hair days.\n\n        Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!\n\n        Delivery is always free from your friends at this restaurant.\n\n        \n\n        Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on, braaaaaaaaa!\n\n        Needs cannot be denied.\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        At this point, I became ill and could not stomach another one\n\n        of those stupid cookies. The fortunes seem to be completely\n\n        banal, and I discourage any of you from taking faith in them.\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Quest and Contest By: Nitsuj, Lascivias\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        QUEST NEWS\n\n        At around 8pm on the evening of the Day of the Sun, Ralton,\n\n        along with nearly twenty other citizens of the Realms, so did\n\n        kill the Realm's Auctioneer. Rumor has it, a large sum of money\n\n        was found on the auctioneer's corpse - money that rightly\n\n        belonged to the citizens of the realms the auctioneer had saved\n\n        for himself.\n\n        \n\n        The Gods did scramble to replace the deceased auctioneer and\n\n        the citizens hope this one will be a kinder, less greedy soul.\n\n        \n\n        The Realms Needs a Catch Phrase...\n\n        Dria has asked us to grab people and stop them for a moment to\n\n        have people ponder what Realms means to them.\n\n        The first part of this is to come up with a slogan to represent\n\n        The Realms of Despair. Think bulletin or catch-phrase, something\n\n        that would have public appeal and grab attention. You can submit\n\n        your slogan idea on the public CoD boards or mudmail your entry\n\n        to Kuah. Have fun!\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Treasure Chest By: Saraphin and Aylssa\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Greets from Treasure Chest everyone!\n\n        Seems we missed the last issue.. but we're back! If you do not\n\n        remember us in the first place, here's a brief summary of our\n\n        mission. Since we're such pack-rats, we've decided to unveil\n\n        our junk collections with each of you. Every week will feature\n\n        a different item as well as its whereabouts and how to find it.\n\n        \n\n        This week will be our first official 'spotlighted' treasure,\n\n        and we're glad we can share it with you! As a first adventure,\n\n        Saraphin an Aylssa went on a search for the most delicious\n\n        chocolate in all of the realms, because who doesn't like\n\n        chocolate?\n\n        \n\n        After searching far and wide, our quest brought us to:\n\n        The Knights of the Round. Here we stumbled upon a small,\n\n        burned down city known as Cadbury which happens to be home to\n\n        the famous Cadbury Chocolate Factory! Every different kind of\n\n        chocolate in every shape and form lined the walls of this small\n\n        shop. Julietta, the Cadbury Chocolate Lady, let us sample our\n\n        favorites and mmMMmm... delicious!\n\n        \n\n        Her inventory includes:\n\n        - a very dark bar of chocolate\n\n        This bar of chocolate is so good that it casts cure critical two\n\n        times! It's both tasty and useful!\n\n        Level: 40\n\n        Cost: 156780 gold coins\n\n        \n\n        - a bag of semi-sweet charcoal\n\n        Make sure you have detect invis casted or you wont be able to\n\n        see this bag. When you apply it on someone (apply bag <name>)\n\n        it will heal them two times!\n\n        Level: 0\n\n        Cost: 174200 gold coins\n\n        \n\n        - a blackened-chip cookie\n\n        The burnt morsels of sugar are especially delicious!\n\n        Level: 0\n\n        Cost: 8710 gold coins\n\n        \n\n        - a burned Cadbury chocolate bar\n\n        (which has quite the effect on people when eaten!)\n\n        Level: 0\n\n        Cost: 17420 gold coins\n\n        (note: keyword is cadbury)\n\n        \n\n        Where to find the Cadbury Chocolate Factory...\n\n        Directions from DH []: 4s 1w 2n give 10000 coin receptionist,\n\n        unlock n, open n, n, e, n, ne, nw, 2ne, enter\n\n        \n\n        Astral\/Portal Point: Cadbury\n\n        \n\n        *disclaimer* Please remember that we only do this article by\n\n        choice and are not responsible for mistakes made in following\n\n        our directions. Always be careful and always scan\/scry before\n\n        you walk. Thank you.\n\n        \n\n        Got any suggestions or ideas for us? You can mudmail them to us or\n\n        post them in front of the CoD office (2e, s, 2u, s, w, s of DH[])\n\n        Safe Adventuring! :)\n\n        Sara and Aylssa\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        RoD Genealogy By: Oknelim\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Hello, I am a new add-on to the CoD. My main goal is to help\n\n        people out there like me seek out and learn more about their\n\n        own families.\n\n        \n\n        Let me tell you my short story first...\n\n        Awhile back, my sister Zenda and I were \"created\" by the immortal\n\n        named Brittany Seccunda (Before she was a DethBlayde I believe)\n\n        in the area of Dragon's Pass where the Gryphons now nest at.\n\n        \n\n        While still young, a man named Phideas Ambrosianus found us and\n\n        took us in, gave us shelter, food, and the training needed for\n\n        when we would need to rely on our own wits.\n\n        \n\n        Although Phideas was a Cleric, he taught me the basics in casting\n\n        such as Continual Light, Create Fire, and Create Water. And Zenda\n\n        was not taught much of anything because she was not willing to\n\n        put herself through the mental torment of learning spells for\n\n        the sake of living.\n\n        \n\n        Later in my life I learned the arts of the Mage, and my sister,\n\n        the ways of the Thief.\n\n        \n\n        Now on with the point of this all. In my younger stage of life,\n\n        I was pretty much a loner and didn't even know of anyone from my\n\n        family other than my mother (Brittany), and my father (Phideas).\n\n        \n\n        My job here is to be a Genealogist for these Realms and to help\n\n        the people like me find links back on their family tree to learn\n\n        where they came from, and to see how their own life may wind up\n\n        as.\n\n        \n\n        I am setting up a web page just for this stuff. A Genealogy page\n\n        just for RoD where viewers may submit last names for me to find\n\n        a history on, and for other viewers to help with info on these\n\n        last names as in ANYTHING they knew about them at all.\n\n        \n\n\n        \nRealms of Despair\n\n        presents\n\n        \n\n        The most basic looking Genealogy site\n\n        on the web! That's right, it was made\n\n        by none other than\n\n        \n\n        Oknelim Seccunda-DethBlayde-Ambrosianus\n\n        \n\n        Go to\n\n        http:\/\/rodgeneology.homestead.com\/index.html\n\n        and see if your or your family is on the soon\n\n        to be largest RoD Genealogy site ever!\n\n        (Considering it is the ONLY one ever)\n\n        \n\n        No flashy colors! No flashy pictures!\n\n        Just information about you, and your many\n\n        family members that you never knew you had!\n\n\n        \n=================================================================\n\n        Funny Bones By: CoD Staff\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        Gultar and the Reunion\n\n        \n\n        Calin now follows you.\n\n        A Ford Ranger now follows you.\n\n        You group your followers.\n\n        A guardrail utters the words 'jasdio djao'\n\n        You fall into a deep sleep.\n\n        Calin falls into a deep sleep.\n\n        A Ford Ranger's lunge misses a guardrail.\n\n        A guardrail's bash *SMITES* a Ford Ranger.\n\n        (A front tire blows apart and falls to the ground in scraps)\n\n        A Ford Ranger's swipe barely scratches a guardrail.\n\n        (A guardrail gets damaged)\n\n        A guardrail's scratch *ANNIHILATES* a Ford Ranger.\n\n        (A door panel gets damaged)\n\n        A Ford Ranger attempts to flee but cannot.\n\n        A Ford Ranger is bleeding freely.\n\n        A guardrail's bash *SMITES* a Ford Ranger.\n\n        (A rear tire gets damaged)\n\n        A Ford Ranger flees from combat losing 999,999,999 experience.\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        Tales from Traffic:\n\n        \n\n        DekkatH openly traffics: merlin poop for sale\n\n        Begaria openly traffics: Merlin poop? I'm there!\n\n        \n\n        Drahmel openly traffics: I'll trade you my Darrek poop for your\n\n        Merlin poop.\n\n        \n\n        DekkatH openly traffics: To those who sent me a tell about my\n\n        Merlin poop... it was a joke... no feces exist...\n\n        \n\n        Begaria openly traffics: But I was willing to trade you Shingo\n\n        for some!\n\n        \n\n        Channel -Shout\n\n        \n\n        Harakiem shouts 'Darrek is a KILLER! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!\n\n        MORE BLOOOOD!!!'\n\n        \n\n        Darrek shouts 'hrmph'\n\n        Lascivias shouts 'Darrek bleeds beer!'\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        Wartalk...\n\n        \n\n        Moonbeam wars 'GI Hoes! The great american Hookers!'\n\n        Moonbeam wars 'I've been listening to this channel too long'\n\n        \n\n        Kali wars 'Step away from the wartalk dear'\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        Only in Darkhaven\n\n        \n\n        A funky chicken quests 'I have qualifying money... All extra\n\n        will be added to the winner's prize on racenight'\n\n        \n\n        Mudo quests 'DON MUDO PROCLAIMS: The funky chicken fight the\n\n        black monk at ceasers palace.. we can call it.. \"the barnyard\n\n        beast, vs the monk of peace!\"'\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        A Begaria Quickie\n\n        Navarius says 'Hey Begaria, ah, your not going to rub me out\n\n        for not giving you the TB, are ya?'\n\n        I smiled and I shook my head....of course, I applied my\n\n        subliminal message type things I do when I replied to Navarius.\n\n        I said 'Why, would I want to KILL you NAVARIUS when you didn't\n\n        sell me that TB? NOW, I just want to say something, to MAKE IT\n\n        QUICK, but it won't be long AND MESSY. Alright?'\n\n        Kahl, getting the hint right away, jumped out of the tree and\n\n        started to club Nav with the almighty HERNE WHACKER(TM)\n\n        (trademark of every damn person who gets annoyed by Herne)\n\n        Navarius cried like a little school girl to the bitter end.\n\n        Nav layed lifeless before my feet with stinky smells coming from\n\n        him. Of course, he will live again so I can annoy, er kill,\n\n        er....whatever....him again.\n\n        \n\n        THE END!\n\n        \/'l\n\n        doh! A few years of MUDding and I can't even get out of a damn buffer.\n\n        HEEEEELPPP!!! Oh hey Nav, wass uGH! *dies*\n\n        \n\n        \n\n        Funny Titles\n\n        \n\n        Nitsuj the CORONER, give me your body.\n\n        Mino: I'm just a f*%$#ing ray of sunshine, aren't I?\n\n        Syera: Do I look like a f*%$#ing people person?\n\n        Laine Bela Morte: What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?\n\n        Elisabet Atal - rocks were tougher back in my days.\n\n        Yargol-if yer as cool as me..you dont need a witty title.\n\n        Claire wants a MenSpeak to English decoder ring.\n\n        Agragella Smella *emits an odoriferous stench*.\n\n        Skaphia Cha'Din est dominus latinus *flexus*.\n\n        Naithalia: Scary girl and bright yellow crayon!\n\n        Goomra the blood-red crayon!\n\n        Saraoreo has an uncreative title.\n\n        Kellandra hates waking up still drunk.\n\n        Orpheus is your Big Bad Voodoo Auggie.\n\n        Kali. S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!\n\n        Ceirana is too busy mudding to watch any olympics.\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n\n        Thank You By: CoD Staff\n\n        =================================================================\n\n        \n\n        We hope you will like the changes to come as we push forward to\n\n        be all we can. And we hope you enjoyed the time you spent\n\n        reading the Cry of Despair.\n\n        \n\n        As always, feedback is welcome.\n\n        You can mud mail me (Kuah) or post it up on the CoD public\n\n        board located e,s,2up,s,w,s from Darkhaven Square or south\n\n        of Quills and Parchments on Market Street.\n\n        \n\n        THANK YOU!\n\n        \n\n        =================================================================\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>McBaker&#8217;s fortune cookies; Treasure Chest: chocolate; Moonbeam wartalks ================================================================= THE CRY OF DESPAIR #41 ================================================================= Mortal Staff: Aylssa, Begaria, Conran, Dein, Lorel, Naithalia, Oknelim, Saraphin, Shingo Immortal Staff: Cersei, Elisabet and Kyrnia Editor and Chief: Kuah ================================================================= Table of Contents ================================================================= Desk of the Editor A small look into what changes we have coming! The&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-1813","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1813","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1813"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1818,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1813\/revisions\/1818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}