{"id":1895,"date":"2024-03-20T12:48:24","date_gmt":"2024-03-20T12:48:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1895"},"modified":"2024-03-20T12:48:25","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T12:48:25","slug":"cry-of-despair-91","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-91\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #91"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-white-color has-text-color\">In which we witness the Killing Blow of the Month and consider belated gifts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"cryofdespair\">\n==============================================================================\n   Cry of Despair, Issue 91                                   January 2005\n==============================================================================\n\n                  - From The Desk Of The Editor                 - by Sarakin\n                  - Kill Blow Of The Month                      - by Vortok\n                  - Ideas For (Belated) Christmas Presents      - by Aslan\n                  - Christmas Cracking Jokes, What A Present!   - by Aslan\n                  - A New Dawn, 2005                            - by Aslan\n                  - Lessons From The Headmaster: Poison         - by Karkarov\n                  - Funnybones\n                  - News From Around The Realms\n                    -  Nations News                             - via Romani\n                    -  Orders News\n                  - Cry of Despair Quest\n                    -  December's Quest Results                 - by Alysira\n                    -  January's Quest                          - by Korim\n                  - From The Quill Of Alysira                   - by Alysira\n                  - Public Outcry\n                    -  Cracked Cask Casino                      - by Cyril\n                    -  Advertise in the Cry of Despair\n                    -  Join the Cry of Despair\n                    -  Wedding Celebrants\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                      Page: 1\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Desk of the Editor                                         By: Sarakin\n==============================================================================\n\nAnother year gone by, another great issue of the cry. \n\nI should be a poet or something! Anyway, we have lots of stuff packed\ninto this issue, so as usual we all hope you enjoy.\n\nP.S Look out for the Cry of Despair website, on a server near you shortly!\n\nSarakin\n==============================================================================\n                                                              Page: 2\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Kill Blow of the Month                                     By: Vortok\n==============================================================================\n\nWhy you don't taunt during circle lag, then sleep to be sarcastic...\n   \nJubei wars 'just like the good ol days'\n     \nSkia-[1422-1658hp|87-align|365\/500lbs|S|sty-S[|]\nJubei quaffs a violet flask from a wanderer's satchel.\nYour circle _demolishes_ Jubei!\n    \nSkia-[1422-1658hp|87-align|365\/500lbs|IS|sty-S[||||]\nJubei leans over the fountain's stone border and drinks deeply.\nJubei floats northeast.\nJubei flees head over heels!\n     \n<1422\/1658 305\/338 S day [11] Y IS>bs 0.jubei\nJubei seems to get a laugh from something saying, \"heh heh heh\".\nJubei collapses into a deep sleep.\nJubei is now afk.\n\nYou gain 20 experience points from your success!\nYour backstab DESTROYS Jubei!\nJubei is DEAD!!\nBolts of blue energy rise from the corpse, seeping into you.\nJubei hits the ground ... DEAD.\n==============================================================================\n                                                              Page: 3\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Ideas For (Belated) Christmas Presents                     By: Aslan\n==============================================================================\n\nVampires: A fine crystal ankh bottle containing warm blood.\nMages: A new ability to fashion mana from cups of stale coffee.\nAugurers: A toy deck of cards they can use to perform magic tricks with.\nWarriors: A collection of this years finest crafted weapons and armour.\nNephandi: The new top of the range pentagram-deluxe with increased summoning\npower.\nThieves: A new book entitled 'Thievery made easy in five steps' by I.R.nicked\nPaladins: New upgraded festive robes with the livery of the higher lords on it.\nDruids: A book entitled, 'The art of Trees..' by C.p m.down.\nRangers: New compound bows with poison tipped arrows.\nFathomer: Ah the blighters are wanting a new vast pirate ship to sail the\nseven seas.\nClerics: A book entitled 'Healing for the masses...' by J.r.Sick\nBladesingers: New swords from the Gucci-Sword fashion range.\n \nWe hope that this gives some helpful ideas for those stuck and in need of\nurgent presents.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 4\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Christmas Cracking Jokes, What A Present!                  By: Aslan\n==============================================================================\n\nWhat do they call Santa's helpers? \nSubordinate Clauses\nWhat do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace? \nKrisp Kringle\nWhich of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?\n\"Rude\"olph\nWhere do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch? \nDeery Queen\nWhat do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney? \nSanta Claus-trophbia\nWhat nationality is Santa Claus? \nNorth Polish\nWhat do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games\nin a hotel lobby? \nChess nuts boasting in an open foyer.\nHow do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? \nFleece Navidad\nWhat do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? \nRibbonhood\nWhy was Santa's little helper depressed? \nBecause he had low elf esteem.\nHow do canines in Mexico say Merry Christmas? \nFleas Navidog.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 5\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   A New Dawn, 2005                                           By: Aslan\n==============================================================================\n\nThe damp, cold mist lifts gradually as the sun rises in the new dawns air.\nA sense of peace and calm lingers heavily, like an invisible blanket that \ncovers the sleeping realms. Creatures of all shapes and sizes slowly wake \nas life takes form again the world. Stores around the land open and merchants\nbegin their daily chants and bantering, hoping beyond hope to score that\nelusive special deal with a keen adventurer. In the Guilds and Orders the\nsilence of slumber is disturbed by the early members plotting the future\nwith the excitement and bright eyes of a child playing with a new toy.\nIn that flittering peace, that may only last a second, a ghostly voice can be\nheard in the crisp air, wishing you all a Welcome to 2005\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 6\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Lessons From The Headmaster: Poison                        By: Karkarov\n==============================================================================\n\nA new book in our household this christmas 'Horrible Science - Painful Poison'\nhas set me thinking about poison in the Realms. There is a stark contrast\nbetween the real life methods for applying a poison and the methods we have\navailable here in the Realms.\n\nBasically, the only method of poison we have here is a spell ..\nthe nature of the poison varies according to the skill of the practitioner\nbut the method of delivery is basically magic, even a Nephandi desecrated\ncookie in the end, casts a spell when something eats it. Of course, the\nonly way we have to remove a poison is the counter magic of the remove\npoison spell (and class variants), or of course the shotgun approach of\ndispel magic. Having thought about this for all of about 5 minutes, I wonder\nabout the possibilities of introducing poisons with only specific antidotes\navaible, for example a snakebite from some particular mob which could only\nbe cured by death .. or the appropriate anti-venom. I feel it is certainly\nan interesting idea.\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 7\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n\tLessons from the Headmaster: Poison                     By: Karkarov\n==============================================================================\n\nPoison must be the single most effective spelldown. Big mobs which can be\npoisoned are rapidly humbled by a good poisoning. The big difference between\npoison and any other spelldown is the time factor. The longer a mob remains\npoisoned, the more effective the spelldown becomes. This leads to the common\nrun method of 'poison and wait', many young avatars have been known to use\nthis method to kill mobs such as Shade and Artemis, mobs which otherwise\nmay have been too hard for them are rendered almost defenceless. The affects\nof poison are generally a steady reduction in the ability of the mob to\ndefend itself. You will find that your weapons hit much more often on a\nproperly poisoned mob than a healthy one. It is also rumoured that a poisoned\nmob is less capable of casting spells at you. I will leave the truth of that\nlast statement for someone else to determine, apparently some people like\nanalyzing their fights in excruciating detail.\n\nThere are few classes which don't have their own form of poisoning ability,\nalthough debate rages daily about the ineffectiveness of the poison skills\nin some of the classes (Ranger and Fathomer for example :P). Even the\nnon-magical thief class has the special 'poison weapon' skill. Again, the\neffectiveness of this poisoning method is debatable, and off hand I cannot\nthink of any mobs against which poisoned weapons are regularly used. Perhaps\nhowever the underuse of the skill has something to do with the loss of\nthe poisoned weapon through corrosion some short time after the poisoning\npowder is applied.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 8\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n\tLessons from the Headmaster: Poison                     By: Karkarov\n==============================================================================\n\nFor those of you who do want to try using the poison\nweapon skill, I can recommend that you first adept it using ultra cheap\nweapons such as boomerangs, or Darkhaven guards swords. Having adepted the\nskill, now choose a real weapon for actual use. Remember the weapon will be\ndestroyed but the length of time it lasts depends on a few factors.\nThe level of the weapon, high level weapons will last longer magic or\nnon-magic, magic weapons will last longer, metal and blessed, I believe metal\nweapons last longer than organic and those carrying the 'bless' flag will\nalso last a little longer. If you are so inclined, I suggest you grab\na few different weapons a stop watch and do some experiments to check it out.\nIn any case, a popular target weapon for poisoning is a Soulslayer, it is\neasy to get, a reasonably high level and may even cause some damage to the\nmob besides poisoning it.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 9\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Funnybones: Immortal Ranks                         Submitted By: Pheayre\n==============================================================================\n \n-----------------------------------[ IMMORTALS ]------------------------------\n \nJust in case    Lopuis will never stop loving her, MMmmM necrophilia. (Deity   \n    of Catarrh)\nlower case      [AFK] edmond: see the penny, not the plane. [Council of\n    Elders]\nBrief case      Cappadocius. (Deity of Inconnu) [The Symposium]\nBasket case     Ceirana. [Overseer of Guilds] (Ascendere) [Head of\n    Neophyte Council]\nViolin case     Romani de Carpathia-Umbramnia loves Herne. [Nations Advisor]\n    (Deity of Sanctus Irae)\nTest case       Altrag; Prophecy of Dragonflies. (Baali) [Code Council]\nOn the case     Kinux Talier. [Tribal Lord] [The Symposium]\nSuitcase        Aylssa Bela Morte. (Deity of Excordis)\nA joint to case Stoneheft Gemstone. [Head of Newbie Council] \nBasket Case     Kali. Hell is other people. (Inconnu) [Council of\n    Elders] \n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 10\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Nation News - Half-orc                                    Via: Romani\n==============================================================================\n \n  The half-orc nation as a whole took a great OOC blow last month due to\nthe news of Grishnakh's departure from the mortal world. However, he\nwill forever be remembered in all of our hearts as the greatest, and the\noriginal, half-orc of these realms!\n \n  On an IC note, Carnak has finally regained his freedom, claiming the\nsouthern gate of Krozloy as his. The orcs of the mountain that\nstill remain loyal to him have been amassing, setting up camps within the\nnewly constructed wall defending the gate from Mount Krozloy and it's\nterritory.\n \n  As new gods replace the old, and the warriors of Carnak prepare\nto fight their own in a bloody civil conflict, the fate of Krozloy\nshall be decided. Who shall possess it? Who shall fall? Only time\nwill tell...\n \nOOC: There are still roles open on both sides of the conflict. If\nyou are available, please contact Carnak via MUDmail or email at:\nunknownentity111@hotmail.com to be casted :D.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 11\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Nation News - Half-ogre                                   Via: Romani\n==============================================================================\n\nFrom the Opallinoc News Bureau:\n \nDateline Opallinoc: Aftermath of Winter Solstice Festival\nAlas, a new record was not set at this years Winter Solstice Festival.\nThe crowd was less boorish and boisterous than most years. A few bragging\nUruk'hai volunteered to retell of their great adventures of the year.\nThings picked up as Meeka arrived with a fresh batch of swill and pickles\npork ears. A few rounds of the swill and some ill-gotten dWARven ale had the\nusual result. Your reporter is healing nicely, thank you. The other melee\nparticipants have all seen the healer shaman Hakupa and have only\nthrobbing, blinding hangovers to contend with. Just what was used in the swill\nthis year??? Meeka only cackled wildly in response.\n \nNo further new items until the pain is gone and my vision is clear again.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 12\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Nation News - Half-troll                                  Via: Romani\n==============================================================================\n\n*This note is written on some kind of humanoid parchment...*\n \nThis is warning!\n\nOlog'hai has detected several Dunedain in T'man.\nThis not tolerated. Olog'hai will kill on sight, or capture, and then kill.\nWe not know why this intrusion. We will find out.\n \nBruk repeat: come to T'man again - face consequences!\n \n                  Bruk, Dredd Lord and High Chieftain of the Olog'hai\n \n*This note is signed with a muddy handprint, index finger missing.*\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 13\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Nation News - Halfling                                    Via: Romani\n==============================================================================\n\n            Small as children who don't sleep through the night\n              Mighty warriors who are brave in a fight.\n                We live by a creed of honor that withstands\n                  the tests of time and the greed of man.\n                    We are the Hobbits and our time has come.\n                      To stand together, our great nation as one,\n                        And usher in The Age of The Hobbits.\n\nPart 2 of our newletter:\n        Well as long as I've lived and dont ask how long, Ive never taisted\nbetter white\npudding then what was at our New Years White Pudding this year.\nAfter plenty of wine, song and flattery i managed to get a few of the winning\nrecipies for you to try at your own risk at home.\n      Irish whisky white pudding\n2 cups of cream, one -half cup of sugar stirred on medium\nand thickened without scalding. Once thick take off the heat a bit\nand slowly pour 1 cup of Irish whisky into the pudding without allowing\nit to boil. When thick add another half cup of the whisky if you can spare it.\nTake off the stove as soon as its thick. Serve over a wedge of cake.\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 14\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n    Nation News - Halfling                                   Via: Romani\n==============================================================================\n\nSnowy white pudding\n2 cups goat milk\n2 goose eggs\n1 cup sugar.\nHeat together on stove, stirring, dont burn.\nWhen pudding gets thick slowly pour in one cup of rum\na little at a time. One smattering of butter and one half cup\nmead. Still on stove so it thickens, take off before it boils.\nNow add two cups of fresh fallen snow and put pudding in our\ncold celler. Take out and serve only to those who have\nfinished their vegetables.\n       \nStuffed Ogre.\noffer the finest rum to our captive ogre\nfeed him well with plenty of vegtables.\ngive him only our best meat and all\nhe wants to drink the night before.\nBath Ogre in warm soapy water, be sure to shave off hair and get\nrid of as many warts as possible.\nPlace soft greens at the bottom of a very large baking pan.\ngive the Ogre another bottle of brew. Keep adding wood to the\nfire slowly as the orge sings songs and talks to himself.\nHe is ready to serve as soon as he is done talking to himself\nand snoring.\n                    Have a great New year Everyone\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 15\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Nation News - Gralthai                                    Via: Aslan\n==============================================================================\n\n*Written on a fresh sheet of dragonleaf parchment with an ancient quill*\n\nDear Citizens,\nIt is a new year and a chance for new trading, allies and expansion of\nour great Empire. The Gralthai are planning to open our trading passages\nto the Human's as long as they abide by our laws. As the sun rises over\nthe start of the new year, who knows what magic, mystery and hope this\nyear shall bring us.\nI have also taken up residence in the great city of Irae, along with\nmy closest council members.\n\n*Signed with the symbol of the Gralthai*\nKing Aslan de C'ian\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 16\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Order News - Ringbearers                                  Via: Wren\n==============================================================================\n\n                       ==             ,              ==\n                    <^^\\()\/^^>        _\/^^\\_         <^^\\()\/^^>\n                     \\\/  \\\/        <     >         \\\/  \\\/\n                 *    \/__\\          \/.-.\\         * \/__\\\n         ==            \/\\ *         `\/%\\`            \/\\       *    ==\n      <^^\\()\/^^>       !_\\\/          ,@.*;@,           \\\/_!       <^^\\()\/^^>\n       \\\/  \\\/     !_\/I_||         \/_o.I% _\\    *     ||_I\\_!     \\\/  \\\/\n        \/__\\     \/I_\/|*||        (`'--:o(_@;         || |\\_I\\     \/__\\\n        \/_ \\   !\/\/|  | ||       \/`;--.,__ `')        || |  |\\\\!   \/_ \\\n       (-   ) \/I\/ |  | ||      ;@`o%  O,*`'`%\\       || |  | \\I\\ (=   )\n        \\__\/!\/\/|  |  | ||*    (`'--)_@ ;o %'()\\      ||*|  |  |\\\\!\\__\/\n        \/  \\I\/ |  |  | ||     \/`;--._`''--._O'@;     || |  |  | \\I\/  \\\n       {_ __}  |  |  | ||    \/*,()-o`;-.,_ `\"\"`)     || |  |  |  {____}\n    _!__|= ||  | *|  | ||    \/`,@ ;+% () o*`;-';\\    || |  |  |  ||  |__!_\n    _I__|  ||__|__|__|_||   (`\"\"--.,_0 +% @' %()\\    ||_|__|__|__||- |__I_\n    -|--|- ||--|--|--|-||   \/-.,_    ``''--....-'`) *||-|--|--|--||= |--|-\n     |  |  ||  |  |  |*||   \/@% ;o:;'--,.__   __.'\\  || |  |  |  ||  |  |\n     |  |= ||  |  |  | ||  ;*,%(); @ % %^^;=`\"`o;@(); || |  |  | *||= |  |\n     |  |- ||  |  |  | || \/(); o^^-; % ().o@*%`;.\\ || |  |  |  ||= |  |\n     |  |- ||  |  |  | || `\"=\"==\"\"==,,,.,=\"==\"===\"`  || |  |  |  ||- |  |\n    -|--|= ||--|--|--|-||__.-.----''#####---...___..*||-|--|--|--||- |--|-\n     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^    ^^      `\"\"\"\"\"`         \n  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\n                                        \nMerry Christmas to Everyone from RB And have a Happy New Year!!!\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 17\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Cry of Despair Quest - December's Quest Results           By: Alysira\n==============================================================================\n\nLast month, in honour of the holidays, I gave you six trivia questions to\ncomplete. These two people had the most accurate answers, congratulations to:\n\n                            Norelle and Skaphia!\n\nPlease see me for your prizes ASAP! Here are the answers to the questions:\n\n 1. What goes on the top of a Christmas tree? (Hint: Two possible answers)\nOriginally, I wrote the question as \"What goes on a Christmas tree?\" So I\naccepted Star\/Angel, Decorations\/Ornaments.\n 2. What is the Jewish object which holds nine candles during Chanukkah?\nMenorah\n 3. What day does the celebration of Kwanza begin?\nDecember 26th\n 4. Name all of Santa's reindeer. (Hint: There are nine!)\nDasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph!\n 5. Which island will be the first to see the New Year?\nPitt Island in the Chatham Islands, a dependency of New Zealand. It used\nto be Kiribati, but in 1995 Kiribati moved the International Date Line so\nthat the entire country was West of the line, therefore they see every New\nYear 27minutes later than Pitt Island now.\n 6. What is the name of the plant which you must kiss someone under?\nMistletoe\n\nThank you to everyone who entered, please turn to the next page to see\nthis month's quest, written by Korim!\n\n-Alysira\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 18\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Cry of Despair Quest - January's Quest                    By: Korim\n==============================================================================\n\nWell, this is it folks: the month of truth.\n \nThe big '05 has hit us, but not all is lost. You still have time to mend your\nways.\n\nThis month's quest is sweet and simple. Share your New Year's resolutions\nwith us and you'll get them published in the Cry of Despair, free of charge!\nNot only that, but you'll also win the month's prize. How much easier could\nit get? Here's the catch: we want originality but only resolutions relevant \nto the Realms - although we're sure several of you have made great real life\nresolutions for the year, we don't want to hear them.\n\nSo, if you're planning on stepping up in the Realms world, we want to hear\nyour plans for it. If you're planning on quiting that late night beer and\npipe adiction down at the square, we want to hear about that too.\n\nThe two most original resolutions will be selected as winners.\nMUDmail your resolutions to Alysira and Korim by the 30th of January.\nStart thinking!\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 19\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   From The Quill Of Alysira                                 By: Alysira\n==============================================================================\n\nGreetings, Readers!\n\nI hope that everyone had a most fantastic Holiday season, whatever you\ncelebrated. I hope that everyone had a wonderful New Year too! It's the one\nholiday which everyone across the world, no matter what your religion, seems\nto celebrate the same way; party and alcohol!\n\nOnly a small issue this month since everyone was too busy enjoying their\nholidays. For shame, huh?\n\nHave a fabulous year 2005 everyone!\n-Alysira\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 20\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Advertisement: The Cracked Cask Casino                    By: Cyril\n==============================================================================\n\nCome to the Cracked Cask Casino for all of your gambling and financial needs,\nfeaturing 3 levels of jackpots. Delanna hosts the 100 mill and 1 billion coins \njackpot game in the west room (Darrek's Corner), Adryanna hosts the \n\"Set For Life\" slot machine, featuring a minimum jackpot of 25 billion coins, \nlocated in the east room (An Ale Room), and Magdeline hosts the 5 billion \njackpot game in the north room (The Upper Bar). In the south room, Vitarla \nhosts multiplayer blackjack.\n \nFor those who wish to sell or buy equipment, there is Orestes the Auctioneer\nand now banker. Items with a * can be bought, and the prospective seller can\nput their item up for sale or for auction for as little as 1 hour or as long\nas 14 days. There is a listing fee of 10K per item per day, with a 1% sellers\ncommission if the item is sold. Orestes now features interest paying accounts,\nwith a minimum deposit of 5 million coins, and higher interest rates for\ndeposits over 100 million and 500 million coins.\n \nOrestes also sells heal potions, tanksets, truesight, sanctuary, demonskin, \nand dragonskin. Look at Orestes for current pricing.\nStock certificates which pay monthly dividends are also available on Orestes.\nThe dividends are based on monthly casino volume. They can also be sold back \nthrough Orestes as well. Dividends are paid on the first of the month for the\npreceeding month.\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 21\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Advertisement: Advertise in the Cry of Despair\n==============================================================================\n\n              \/---------------------------------------------------\\\n              | \/-----------------------------------------------\\ |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Have something important to say, but don't    | |\n              | | have anywhere to say it?                      | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Consider advertising in the Cry of Despair!   | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Organization leaders, wedding planners,       | |\n              | | anything and everything appropriate will be   | |\n              | | considered, formatted to your liking, and     | |\n              | | posted here free of charge!                   | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Just MUDmail your announcement to Alysira, and| |\n              | | you'll receive it back just as it will appear | |\n              | | in the CoD, open to changes if neccessary.    | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | \\-----------------------------------------------\/ |\n              \\---------------------------------------------------\/\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 22\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Advertisement: Join the Cry of Despair\n==============================================================================\n\n              \/---------------------------------------------------\\\n              | \/-----------------------------------------------\\ |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Are you looking for a new challenge in life?  | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Want to meet interesting, and even not-so-    | |\n              | | interesting people?                           | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Want to discover new aspects of the game?     | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Want your voice to be heard by the whole MUD? | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | And... Want to get paid for it all?           | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Then look at a career in journalism! Send a   | |\n              | | short application and sample article via      | |\n              | | MUDmail to Alysira if you're interested in    | |\n              | | joining the Cry of Despair staff.             | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | | Hope to hear from you soon!                   | |\n              | |                                               | |\n              | \\-----------------------------------------------\/ |\n              \\---------------------------------------------------\/\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 23\n==============================================================================\n\n\n\n==============================================================================\n   Advertisement: Weddings\n==============================================================================\n\nNeed a priest for marriage officiating? tired of being charged or delayed by\nothers? Now there is no longer that problem. Contact Aslan or Ashima for free\nprofessional officiating. Times and conditions will apply.\n\n-No charges, even if postponed\n-All themes accepted\/workable\n\n==============================================================================\n                                                                 Page: 24\n==============================================================================<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In which we witness the Killing Blow of the Month and consider belated gifts ============================================================================== Cry of Despair, Issue 91 January 2005 ============================================================================== &#8211; From The Desk Of The Editor &#8211; by Sarakin &#8211; Kill Blow Of The Month &#8211; by Vortok &#8211; Ideas For (Belated) Christmas Presents &#8211; by Aslan &#8211; Christmas Cracking Jokes,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-1895","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1895"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1915,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1895\/revisions\/1915"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}