{"id":1926,"date":"2024-03-20T13:45:22","date_gmt":"2024-03-20T13:45:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=1926"},"modified":"2024-03-20T13:45:23","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T13:45:23","slug":"cry-of-despair-99","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-99\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #99"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-white-color has-text-color\">Pixie News: we are not for dinner; Genge: Fathomers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"cryofdespair\">\n     __  ___________________________________   __________________________\n    \/  \\\/             \\                     \\ \/                         \/\\\n   |    \\             \/                     \/\/                         \/%%|\n   |                                      Issue 99, September 2005    |%%%|\n    \\____\/                     ____                          _____    |%%\/\n     \\                                                               \/\n      |            ,- _=.                            \/\\             |\n      |           (' \/|                             ||               \\\n       \\         ((  ||   ,._-_ '\\\\\/\\\\        \/'\\\\ =||=               \\\n        \\        ((  ||    ||    || ;'       || ||  ||                 |\n        \/\\        ( \/ |    ||    ||\/         || ||  ||                 \\\n       \/  \\        -____-  \\\\,   |\/          \\\\,\/   \\\\,                 \\\n      |                         (                                        |\n      |                          -_-                                   \\\/\n      |  \/_____                                                  _______\\\n       \\\/                                                                \\\n        \\            -_____                                               |\n         \\            ' | -,                      _    '                 \/\n         \/            \/| |  |`  _-_   _-_, -_-_   < \\, \\\\ ,._-_         \/\n        |             || |==|| || \\\\ ||_.  || \\\\  \/-|| ||  ||          |\n       \/             =|| |  |, ||\/    = || || || (( || ||  ||          |\n       \\              =-____,  \\\\,\/  ,-_-  ||-'   \\\/\\\\ \\\\  \\\\,         \\\n       \/\\            (                     |\/                           \\\n      \/                                    '                             \\\n      |     Immortal Sponsors- Alysira\/Korim        Editor- Genge         |\n   __\/___  ______________________________  __________________________    \/\n  \/      \\\/                              \\\/                         \/%   \\\n |                                        \\                        \/%%%  \/\n |                                                                 \\%%%%\/   \n  \\_________________________________________________________________\\%%\/\n\n\n\n\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n|   From the Editor                 - Editor: Genge                           |\n|     Editor's Note                                                           |\n|     Concerning Aragon                                                       |\n|                                                                             |\n|   News From Around The Realms     - Sub-Editor: Aslan                       |\n|     Nations' News:                                                          |\n|       Khzad                         - via Romani                            |\n|       Hobbit                        - via Romani                            |\n|       Pixie                         - via Romani                            |\n|       Uruk'hai                      - via Romani                            |\n|       Il'Kahn                       - via Romani                            |\n|       Aerandir                      - via Romani                            |\n|     Guild of Clerics                - via Aslan                             |\n|                                                                             |\n|   Quests, Games And Humour        - Sub-Editor: Babui                       |\n|     From the Beautiful People       - by Anonymous                          |\n|     Imm The Lounge '05              - by Goomra                             |\n|     Titles!                         - via Mossweaver                        |\n|     Humor Submissions               - by Babui                              |\n|     Wedding Congratulations         - by Babui                              |\n|     Random Messages                 - by Babui                              |\n|     Cry of Despair Quest            - by Alysira                            |\n|                                                                             |\n|   PKill                           - Sub-Editor: Vortok                      |\n|     PKill News                      - by Vortok                             |\n|     PKill Conclave News             - by Vortok                             |\n|                                                                             |\n|   RoD Knowledge And Information   - Sub-Editor: Genge                       |\n|     A Guide To Fathomers            - by Genge                              |\n|     The 100th Issue of the CoD      - by Alysira                            |\n|                                                                             |\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Editor's Note                                                   By: Genge |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nHi. I'm tired. Read the pages about Aragon, and remember to vote.\n   - Genge\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n| From the Editor -> Plagiarism and Prizes                         By: Genge |\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n\n As I am sure you have noticed, the Roleplaying section is absent from the CoD \nthis month. This is primarily because of two factors: First of all, Aragon did \nnot post anything the board this month, and everything but Nations' news \nthat is for his section is mudmailed to him to be posted on the board. The \nsecond reason is that Aragon has been removed from the CoD, for plagiarizing \nand then proceeding to lie about it. Plagiarism shall not be tolerated in the\nCoD, and it shall be dealt with swiftly after being discovered.\n I am not unreasonable - since, at the time, the CoD did not have a codified \npolicy on plagiarism, I gave him a chance to apologize. Unfortunately, he has\nchosen not to. I can see no alternative to removing him from the CoD entirely.\n What does this mean for you? Well, two opportunities arise from this for the\nreaders. First of all, this means that there is a position open on the CoD \nstaff for someone who cares about roleplaying. Normally, I would promote \nsomeone currently on staff, but I cannot identify any active staff members who\nare active roleplayers or poets. If you are interested in the position, send me\na tell or mudmail about it. As a department head, you would get paid more than\na regular staff member. If you don't want responsibility, the CoD is currently\nhiring general staff as well.\n The second opportunity that arises is a contest, which I shall discuss on the\nnext page.\n\n Since we didn't have any poetry in the CoD this month, I am holding a poetry\ncontest. Here are the rules:\n - Send in up to three (3) original poems about plagiarism. You only have to\n   send in one poem to qualify, but if you want to hedge your bets you can send\n   in more until you reach the three poem limit.\n - Poems may be of any style, including short poems such as limericks, haiku,\n   tanka, senryu, cinquain, diamante, and acrostic, or more complex such as \n   ballads, concrete, or canzone.\n - The winning poem shall be selected by myself, and based on quality. Shorter\n   poems are not automatically excluded, as it is possible to convey meaning in\n   an extremely elegant way using only a few words. On the same token, longer \n   poems are not automatically given more points, since there is a difference\n   between being gracefully verbose and spewing forth an endless stream of \n   banal incarnate.\n - All entries must be mudmailed to my alt Genj. Entries sent anywhere else \n   shall not be recognized.\n - The prizes will vary depending on how good the entries are. It might be \n   anything from gold, to Fort eq, to a character.\n - Participation alone is not rewarded. You must win to receive anything.\n - All entries must be received on or before the 29th of September.\n\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n|                                                                             |\n+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+\n\n\n\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Roleplay -> News -> KHAZAD                                      Via: Romani |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nTo the Dwarves beyond the Reach,\n\n   The Reach says a sad farewell to our former Athane Alinaryth and our\nformer Thane Ryals. They have decided to take long and well deserved vacations\nand will both be missed sorely.\n\n   The renovations on the buildings in the Reach is continuing steadily, though\nthere is still much work to be done. Mbwana Lifewind is still, for some reason,\ncamped out in the throne room.\n\n   And again, the Khazad welcomes and invites all dwarves who wish to join the\nNation to make their way to Tagetarle's Ghost, who will kindly send you to\nthe Reach without even charging you a fee.\nJerald, Nation Leader\n\n----------\n\nMy beloved Hobbits,\nIt concerns me that some of you seem frightened by those taller then you.\nLet me remind you that we are Hobbits, we are not half of anything and\nit is only the ignorant that call of halflings. Perhaps they are jealous,\nespecially the male races whose footprints are not as large as ours so\nthey are not so well endowed. Still we attempt to be kind to everyone.\nThough we have ample military supplies, a secret army base and another\nplace to grow our crops we must all rejoice in the fact that the great\nDeity Lopuis has blessed our underground gardens, homes and supplies\nwith all that we need.\n         Stand proud! Or sit proud! While you smoke your tobacco,\nours is not a race enslaved by others but only gently guided by your loving\nand ever wise Thain.\n         Some of you are concerned that your Thain is not married. Let this \nworry you no more. With so many handsome hobbits it is just to hard to choose.\nHowever because of the insistence of some I am throwing a Birthday Ball for my\n1500th birthday. All hobbits are invited though this is not an event for \nchildren. We shall dance and make merry, there will be plenty of good food and \ndrinks and a small gift for each of you. I have taken the liberty of inviting \nother nations to this ball, which is to be held on the 19th of August to show \nall of you that we have no reason to fear. The Ball will be held on top of the \nRainbow. \n  May the hair on your feet grow long and beautiful,\n         Sincerely Zasperlyn, Leader of the Hobbit Nation\n\n----------\n\nThis is PNN, your source for Pixie News:\n\nTime for 'Hard Candy' with Periwinkle Snapdragon:\n\nPixies: we are not for dinner.\n\nWhy do other races like to eat us?  The trolls like to fry our wings. It \nis rumored that the githyanki bake pixies in pies. Why do we tolerate this!\n\nI think more should be done to prevent us from becoming say Troll! Let's throw \nfruit and various kinds of meat at it! food. How do we keep getting caught? \nWe can fly and trolls cannot. It should be easy to evade these trolls. \nKosaim, Nation Leader\n \nI think more should be done to discourage pixie eating, such as dropping heavy \nrocks on trolls\u2019 heads. Maybe we can build some sort of troll trap. \n \nWe are pixies, we are not food. If we appear weak, even the elves might think \nof us as food! We should not stand for this!\n\nI am Periwinkle Snapdragon, and this is 'Hard Candy'\n           Editor's note: No, pixies really are food. Sorry for the confusion.\n\n----------\n\nFrom the Opallinoc News Bureau: \n* Dateline Mithril Hall - Oops, a messerschmidt happened:\nNames will not be mentioned. The calamity that occurred in Mithril Hall \ncan only be described as \"Oh My God NOOOooo!!!\" Seems that a certain famed \nmember of the Uruk'hai got overconfident during a plundering pass through \nthe Hall. While cleaning up the mess he made, sacrificing corpses, equipment, \nremnants, etc., He apparently forgot he was disarmed and sacrificed his NASR!!!\nFor shame and he should have know that 'sac c' is unhealthy from all the\nDCOLs that he has lost that way. Your reporter has only one further comment,\nServes ya right big daddy!\" Editor's note: Hah. Loser.\n\n* Dateline Darkhaven - Kittany gives birth: \nWith great cheers and celebration, the Uruk'hai congratulate Kittany on the\nbirth of her little half-ogre. \n\n* Dateline Darkhaven - Halfling Negotiations:\nKlaatu, the benevolent, finally met with Zasperlyn to discuss negotiations and\ntrade matters. Lanthanos has been a force behind the scenes in dealings with\nthe halflings. The Uruk'hai are offering a supply of there prime smokeable\ntuft of sweet grass in exchange for items yet to be determined. Lanthanos is\ncontinuing further talks. -- Klaatu, Half-Ogre Nation Leader\n\n----------\n\n  Happenings Within Krozloy\n \n  Fall comes at last to the mountain as the forests turn from shades\nof green to various vibrant hues. Leaves of yellow, orange, and flaming\nred stain the Earth with their colors. The loggers continue their\nendless work to supply the ever-burning fires of Krozloy with wood,\nand the construction industry with product to continue building.\n  The military industry is once again thriving, a staggering number\nof recruits (somewhere in the midst of three-thousand) has joined the\nfold. Rumors are spreading that the Il'Khan military is in need of a new\nGeneral as the venerable Thrakk Ironblood has finally died.\n  The Il'Khan mining troops have finally found a gold vein which they\nintend to tap. Presently it is guarded by some sort of substance which\nis both toxic to inhale and volatile when sparks are flying. Ways to\nclear the mines of this substance are constantly being plotted.\n\n  Notices:\n \n -The military is still seeking recruits, report to the barracks if\n  interested.\n -Any able-bodied Il'Khan capable of heavy lifting are needed in the\n northwest construction site.\n -The Lesser Chieftain has lost his trusty blade, Gracca, in the darker\n  regions of the lower caves of Krozloy. A reward of twenty thousand\n  gold pieces is being offered for its prompt return.\n -Executions will not be held in Krozloy proper this month, rather in\n  the valley square. All residing within the valley are expected to\n  attend.\n -Near the end of the month there shall be a feast in the great hall\n  of Krozloy. Boar and turkey meat will be offered, along with some of\n  Krozloy's finest farm produce and ales.\n \nThat is the news for this month. Until the next, may your swords be\nkeen and your body stout. Carnak, Nation Leader\n\n----------\n\nFrom the quill of Chronicler Remonaai S. Nikkhet\nAs I write, a violent summer's storm has battered the reefs of Mathlaan and \ndestroyed a key stretch used to moor the trading ships incoming from the \nother Kingdoms. And the storm has not ceased its merciless bullying of the \ncoast, tossing waves and churning the currents. The Ivory Tower still stands \nstrong, her walls buffeted constantly by a horrendous gale and I wonder if \nan odd magic has webbed itself around the seemingly fragile Tower and keeping \nher upright in this fearsome disaster unleashed by Gaiar.\n\nLast month, a ship has wrecked itself off an unnamed coast near the Obsidian \nTeeth, a ship carrying artifacts and a multitude of treasure and trinkets. \nThe owner killed himself a night later upon hearing the loss of her vessel. \nThe villagers living around the Obsidian Teeth quickly christened the shore \nTreasure Beach and hunted about the sand, picking up the washed up valuables. \nThese were quickly sold to collectors and mages for large sums and some \napprentices from the Conservatory led by our Speaker himself were seen \npurchasing some of these as well.  I do wonder why he is encouraging such \nillicit trading amongst those he lead and I am quite questionable of where his \nmorality lies.\n\nDid I write too that these things were probably cursed? I suppose not. Not \njust sea elves bought them. Other races came to Treasure Beach, eager \nfor a share of the spoils. A group of dwarves, a few richly dressed elves and \nwhen dusk settled, a hooded drow appeared, asking for a sword and \na silver lantern. \n \nFalennt, Nation Leader\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| News -> Guild and Order News -> Guild of Clerics               Via: Aslan |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nThis past month has been busy in the guild of clerics, with several\nexperimental runs taking place as well as several new members.\n \nThe guild would like to congratulate Hairu, Korleric, and Torianne for\nrecently becoming full members.\n \nWe'd also like to welcome Cryshania, Daos, and Mirabeau to the guild, and wish\nthem luck on their probation quests!\n \nIf you are interested in joining the guild, or just in getting to know some of\nus better, please come and visit us on the Porch at NW, 2W, 2N, E of Darkhaven\nSquare. Information on applying an questing for the guild is available in the\nClock Chamber, UP from the Porch.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Misc. -> From the Beautiful People            By: Goomra |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nFrom the Beautiful People:\n\n* Whatever kind of look you were going for - you failed.\n* A smiling face is always beautiful, unless the teeth are crooked.\n* You have a winning smile. Shame the rest of you is such a loser.\n* God must really love ugly people because he created so many of them.\n* Love nature. Despite what it did to you.\n* If a thing of beauty is a joy for ever, why does ugly last longer?\n* Each person's life is a portrait of themselves. Shame you chose finger-\n  painting.\n* God made you as ugly as he possibly could, then he must have beaten you\n  in the face with a claw hammer.\n* You have everything you had twenty years ago - except now it's all lower.\n* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. But a bad attitude and\n  acne is worse.\n* Remember that there is always someone, somewhere in the world, who is\n  richer, younger and better-looking than you.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Misc. -> Imm The Lounge '05                   By: Goomra |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n                          - Imm The Lounge '05 -\n \nThe realms have many groups of people, a wide diversity of different\ncommunities - orders, guilds, clans, run-groups, social groups. I am\nhere to put forward a glimpse of one group's future. We are a small group,\nmore elite than most orders, and we have been here, seemingly, forever.\nI present to you this article: Imm The Lounge '05.\n \nI would just like to add that this view is not the view of the CoD, nor\nall of the lounge - this is merely an entertaining idea I have been\ncoming up with then I have been left alone, or when the conversation has\nturned to football (or worse, baseball) and I got bored.\n \nThe lounge, to my current reckoning, consists of 23 people (past and present)\nand as such form quite a large community. The people included, in no particular\norder (other than the order I remember them in) consist of: Mischief, Saryk,\nDread, Hammett, Leniso, Gallant, Pansynance, myself, Genge, Alihan, Kate\nJarrok, Tabitha, Chino, Irad, Xardellion, Morgianya, Sealom, Mekir,\nShealkire, DekkatH, Cyril and Vilari (in memorandum). We are, apparently,\nthe people who \"ruin realms\" and \"destroy everything\". Now, I personally\nfind that a bit harsh - we are not out to topple realms. Instead, we are\nexperienced players who have got a bit bored and instead have taken\nresidence in the Lounge to watch the realms from afar, and occasionally\nthrow rocks at it.\n\nSo, where to start. Let me outline the benefits that you, as players,\nwould receive were we all to imm:\n\na) We, as a group, know almost everything about realms. Together, we\nhave over 100,000 YEARS of experience (and that is only from 14 out of\nthe 23 of us that I could find). We know what's going on.\nb) We have more history in the Lounge than most orders combined. We all\nhave either done silly stuff (getting a guild deleted, for example), but\nwe have all done quite memorable stuff too.\nc) We have seen, quite literally, 100s of wrongdoings (mostly by us), and\nso if we were to imm, we would be able to spot them more easily.\nd) We are the cause of most silencing (I would like to remove myself from\nthis point and just say I haven't been silenced for channel abuse), and\nas such our imming would reduce channel spam & swearing by almost 100%.\ne) Most of us, in some form or another, have leadership experience. Be\nit from run groups, orders, guilds, clans, or races.\nf) In \"HELP HOWTOIMM\", we qualify for all of the points. Well, except\ntact - but tact can be taught, or indeed employed by some, when necessary.\ng) We are a more selective bunch than most orders. If we don't like someone,\nthey know. Ohhhh they know.\nh) Thank to Messrs Cyril and Irad, we have more money than most orders, and\nhold a large proportion of Realms overall wealth.\n\nSo - these are the qualities and skills we have as a group.\n\nOkay, so I've told you the points in our favour. Now, here are the things\nwe would like to see in the realms (these are direct quotes from loungers):\n \n* \"Punish idiots for being idiots. Yes. That means you\"\n* \"No fat chicks\" .. \"No Uggos\"\n* \"Boobies\"\n* \"Everyone to stay out of the lounge\"\n* \"Blood fountain in the lounge\"\n* \"We would murder you all while you sleep and sell your organs on the\n   black market\"\n* \"Bring back the capitalisation of the 'H' in DekkatH\"\n* \"Boobies\"\n* \"Make Kate Channel-Nazi and give her a hat\"\n* \"We'll make it a crime to be poor\" .. \"First offense of 'being poor' is\n   a siteban\" Editor's Note: Wouldn't this mean banning Goomra herself?\n* \"Porn. We're better looking than you all. We're all pretty\"\n* \"A 'Girls of the Lounge' Calendar which would sell well\"\n* \"A 'Boys of the Lounge\" Calendar that would sell even better, worryingly\"\n* \"No fat chicks. Again. This is very important.\"\n* \"Improper spelling\/grammar punishable by castration\"\n* \"Families coded in would be a good way to exclude people\"\n* \"A 'Mentally disabled due to lacking genetic variation' flag\"\n* \"A new wear location for genitals\"\n\nAnd here would be our wizlist...\n                                Supreme Entity\n                                    Gallant\n\n                              Infinitely Wealthy\n                                     Cyril\n\n                               Eternally Hateful\n                                  Genge Alihan\n \n                                 Exalted Gods\n                          Shealkire Goomra Kate Irad\n \n                              Assaulted (by) Gods\n                                   Pansynance\n \n                                 Groping Gods\n                                 Chino Tabitha\n \n                                      Dogs\n                              Jarrok Leniso DekkatH\n \n                                    Immortals\n                            Dread Hammett Xardellion\n\t\t\t    \n                                   Creators\n                               Morgianya Mekir\n \n                                   Acolytes\n                                Sealom Gandalf\n \n                                   Neophytes\n                                    Amante\n\nRetired List...\n\nSaryk  Mischief  Odysseus  Daleth\n \nAnd now for the councils and respective heads..\n\nTitle                    Head\nCouncil of Elders        Gallant\nCode Council             Cyril\nPkill Conclave           Chino and Leniso\nQuest Council            Pansynance\nNeophyte Council         Genge\nNewbie Council           Goomra\nThe Symposium            Shealkire\nHerald Assembly          DekkatH\n\nLet's look at this logically - We are a group of people who have played\nrealms for a long time, and we know what's going on (most of the time,\nalthough it's disputable with Pansynance). We might come across as a\nbunch of bitter, twisted people who like nothing more than to try and\nbreak the system, laugh at newbie avs, and make fun of immortals. But\nthat isn't ALL we've got going for us. Most of us have had leadership\nexperience in some form or another - we've got two ex-imms, seven ex-\nclan leaders, three ex-order leaders, god knows how many ex-nation leaders\nand even a few ex-guild leaders.\n\nAs a group, we have been in every group that is coded, and we've had a\nmember in every council. We are very well connected and have a lot of \npeople to liaise with. We've also got fantastic up-time. There is a \nlounger on every hour of the day (as some of you know when you think you\ncan get away with saying stupid things on avchat). And can you imagine \nwhat would happen if we gave people like Pansynance the opportunity to\nrun quests (for some reason I imagine large breasts running around \nnorthern plains suffocating everyone), or if we gave Genge the chance to\nbugger around with mechanics of the game (again, images of large breasts\nroaming the landscape come into view, but this time with fire and \nbrimstone surrounding them). We're a bunch of people who know what we're\ndoing, and as we don't tend to do much, we put our efforts into something\nelse. Like making fun of you. Or throwing rocks at ugly people.\n \nAccept us. Accept our 100,000+ years of experience. And ultimately, let\nus run your lives because we could do it a damn sight better than you\nseem to be managing it. Imm The Lounge '05. Because every hole's a goal.\n                                  Editor's note: Not quite EVERY hole.\nPS - This is meant as a bit of fun, obviously. If the immortals all decide\nto go off on holiday simultaneously for a week and need someone to look\nafter things, we (of course) would embrace the opportunity. But we're\nnot really looking to run the realms. I mean, that would be silly.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Funnybones -> Titles                           By: Babui |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nHarrah looks for booty.\nAengil put the bot in the bot-de-bot-de-bot. \nFune-baba, ...Gufhahahaha?\nSsur Ssurrender Ssurround Ssurge Ssurface Ssurcumcise.\nNannuki DarkRaven:I am a male model, not a male prostitute.\nNamyar is Babui's psycho, stalker fanboy  *RC* \nAarelan the Collector of Navel Lint.\nKraky Flaky.\nPyetta Umm... Look a nickel!\nForgrum'py the unhappy spell bot.\nAngelica is on weasel watch !! \nSfiera, Goddess of Passion and Lightning!! KRAKOW<333!!!\nTausha Friend of Pixies...see a Pixie...squish a Pixie.\nGaanmoki: H3110Z0R IZ WHERE I BE.\nCalan scared you so bad he had to pay your dry cleaning.\nGarloc Bread with Cheese.\nGriak: Holy class inequality batman! Fix the old first!\nJuliya: Mortal Wombat.\nLeniso Leann Tweeden has a nice butt, trust me i've felt\nGauther was shooting arrows the other day... AND NOTHING.\nSincerity puts the \"SIN\" in Sincerity.\nQefequami has something to cripple your sister with.\nFafnir the Pollywobbling Paladin.\nBelegost Master of the Widgit.\nAnakin Skywalker - Runs with the force.\nZyll..Ice Brewed for a Naturally Smooth Taste..\nMauzait. Mo Zay is mozaying along, pardner\nForalanik Ironthumb the possessor of gnomes, f34r!\nTetsuyamkii: Always clean your feet, you may have to eat them.\nFernallia has been PWNED.\nDugan.. I can lift 100 beers over my head !!!\nNariel wishes people weren't so dumb.\nJarrod has a normal name.  Yours is weird.\nGitserdon..i make stuff thats almost dead (11-20%), not dead\nQefequami is a muscular woman clad in heavy armor\nZargon:Why are carrots more orange than oranges?\nFerit the President of the \"We hate Garenul club\"\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Funnybones -> Submissions                      By: Babui |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nIs there some log, bio, title, events, random personal thoughts...or even\nastrological or food stuff things you would like to share!? ANYTHING really...\n \nWhy not share your logs\/thoughts\/anything with the entire mud community?! Have\nyour logs and articles published on the CRY, so we all can know more new\nrandom stuff or laugh at cute little silly peoples and events =P HAR...I mean.\n...We can all be entertained in a nice polite fashion... *nod self*...\n\nOh oh! Or some ascii drawing you did you might want to share! ANYTHING!\nSend me your article\/log\/note\/whatever via mudmail! Yay! Send your mudmails to\nBabui now! =D\n \n         .-. .-.       .-. .-.\n        (   Y   )     (   Y   )\n         `|   |`       `|   |`\n          | 00|_       _|00 |\n          |  ,__)     (__,  |\n          |,_|           L_,|\n          ||               ||\n          | \\_,         ,_\/ |\n          |   |         |   |\n          |   |         |   |\n        (`  A  `)     (`  A  `)\n         '-' '-'       '-' '-'\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Weddings -> Submissions                        By: Babui |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nA friend just got married? Want to congratulate them along with the whole of\nrealms?\n \nYou just got married? Want to announce to the whole of realms your love for\neach other?\n \nWell, here's the place!\n \nSend me a mudmail with the couples' name, the date of the wedding, and any\ncomments you would like to make =)\n \nStart NOW by showing you care! Start NOW by showing you are truly happy for\nthem\/yourself! Start NOW by announcing to the world!\n\n_____________________,88888e \n______________,a888b.9888888i \n______________888888888888888 \n______________88888888888888Y\n______________'8888888888888\n________________\"S888888888\"\n__________________\"7888888Y \n_____________________\"e88j \n______________________-> HaPpY WeDdInG!\n\n\n         __..._.-.                 On 14 August 2005,\n        \/.-.   '-.)\n        \\',       \\\n         |       o'--D             Zistrosk + Grezelle\n         \\      \/    |\n          ;._  _\\ '-\/\n        .'    __ `\\`.-\"-. .-\"-.    exchanged their vows,\n      .'    .'  '.|'     '     ',  made Realms go wow...\n     \/      \\     '._,          |\n    ;        '-._     \\         \/  as joyful tears flowed down\n   (|           \/'-.__\/       .'   Grezelle hitched up her gown\n    \\  __     ,'     '-.   .-'     Zistrosk threw away the frown\n     `\/  `\\.-'|         '.'            \n      |    |  '-.                  and rode off into the sunset\n      |    '-.   )                 as destiny has set....\n       \\       )-'\n        '-----'\n\n    ` : | | | |:  ||  :     `  :  |  |+|: | : : :|   .        `              .\n        ` : | :|  ||  |:  :    `  |  | :| : | : |:   |  .                    :\n           .' ':  ||  |:  |  '       ` || | : | |: : |   .  `           .   :.\n                  `'  ||  |  ' |   *    ` : | | :| |*|  :   :               :|\n          *    *       `  |  : :  |  .      ` ' :| | :| . : :         *   :.||\n   +        On 19 August 2005, with a million stars as witness,              \n               .`            | |  |  : .:|       ` | || | : |: |          | ||\n        '          . Piralato + Chitose   .: .         '| | : :| :    .   |:| \n        *  .                 .    ` *|  || :       `    | | :| | :      |:| |\n   .                .    wedded in holy matrimony (RL!)     | || : :     :|||\n          .            .   . *    .   .  ` |||.  +         + '| |||  .  ||`\n       .             *              .     +:`|!             . ||||  :.||`\n   +                      .                ..!|*          . | :`||+ |||`\n       .                         +      : |||`        .| :| | | |.| ||`     .\n         *     +   '               +  :|| |`     :.+. || || | |:`|| `\n                              .      .||` .    ..|| | |: '` `| | |`  +\n    .       +++       CONGRATULATIONS! |       !|!: `       :| |\n                +         .      .    | .      `|||.:      .||    .      .    `\n            '                           `|.   .  `:|||   + ||'     `\n    __    +      *                         `'       `'|.    `:\n  \"'  `---\"\"\"----....____,..^---`^``----.,.___          `.    `.  .    ____,.,-\n      ___,--'\"\"`---\"'   ^  ^ ^        ^       \"\"\"'---,..___ __,..---\"\"'\n  --\"'                           ^                         ``--..,__\n  Editor's note: I ain't colouring that. Use your imagination.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> Random Messages                                By: Babui |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nA totally new random article - collected from YOU.\n \nEveryone says that the best way to get something off your mind is to say it\nout. Hiding, is bad. =P\n \nHere's a brand new way to say what you want out and remain totally anonymous\nif you want!\n \nSend me - Babui, a mudmail of what you want to say with a lvl 2, an unknown\nalt, whatever - it will remain anonymous.\n \nWith exception to cussing or _really_ offensive material, it will be published\n=D However, I won't be replying any mudmails (as who knows if it's some alt\nyou just made for posting) so you won't know if your message has been accepted\nor denied etc.. =(\n \nBut all else aside, this is an opportunity for all random quotes, messages or\nbio worthy material!\n \nSpeak your mind! =D\n \nSend your mudmails now! Whee =D\n \n--Babui d'Mortem--\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Entertainment -> CoD Quest -> August's Quest Results          By: Alysira |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nLast month, I prepared a small Find-A-Word for you all to enjoy. This was\na very popular quest! Many people submitted entries, but only two could be\nselected as winners. The two winners are:\n\n                             Goomra and Shaitan!\n\nPlease see me for your prizes ASAP! Thanks to everyone else who participated!\nThe eight deities hidden in the Find-A-Word were, in no particular order:\n\n      LaChte, Bael, Sarane, Kardis, Kalerd, Masefi, Cawyn, Keltas.\n\nHave fun in this month's quest on the next page!\n\n\nThis month, I have prepared a short set of trivia questions for you to\nanswer. These are rather simple questions, the answers to which can be\nfound around the Realms. MUDmail your answers to me by the end of the\nmonth, and two winners will be selected at random!\n\n1. Name one weather-oriented deity and the weather they represent.\n2. Name all of the paths that a Mage can adhere to.\n3. Which cleric spell renders a person resistant to draining attacks?\n4. Which druid spell calls upon the spirits of nature to protect the\n   druid from all manner of attacks?\n5. Name an area in The Mire geo.\n\nSimple, yes? Just MUDmail your answers to me (Alysira) by the end of\nSeptember! Please do NOT remove your MUDmails, I will remove them all\nat the end of September to allow all people who wish so to participate.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| PKill -> PKill News                                            By: Vortok |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nGeneral:\n-  PK takes another turn for the worse, player base down.\n-  Artifacts: Art (Catarrh\/Feralis\/Maleficae), Maq (Excordis)\n-  PKC torn down by Rhadamanthus, rebuild in progress\n-  PK Geo almost complete, Vortok is slow...\n\nCatarrh:\n-  Art on vacation, Justin filling in as leader\n-  Jess back in pk full time, Cat #2\n\nExcordis:\n-  Vortok hands leadership to Pat\n     - Tim selected #1, Forrest #2\n-  Sid leaves to join Feralis\n\nFeralis:\n-  M.Matt passes leadership to Maq\n     -Marcus as #1 and Jim as #2\n-  Jack (Vladavostok, GoV GM) joins Feralis as Pengwyn\n\nMaleficae:\n-  Brad passes leadership to Dre\n-  Maleficae overall presense is down\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| PKill -> PKill Conclave News                                   By: Vortok |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nPKC has been restructured by Rhadamanthus, again.  The former setup,\nthough ok, was not affective, and now the council will consist of 1 \nImmortal head, 1 mortal head, 4 clan reps, and 1 unclanned \"at large\" \nmember. HELP PKC for more details\n\nIdeas Awaiting PKC Vote:\n- Reverting artifacts back to clan leaders\n\nIdeas that have vanished:\n- Removing or adjusting poison weapons\n- Adjusting charge for barbs in PVP\n- Reduce Barbarian suscept magic to 10% for deadlies\n\nDenied by CoE\/PKC:\n- More clan EQ in circulation\n- Exits from Clans to DH\n- Deadlies multiplaying to statroll\n- Removal of Safe Rooms from DH\n\nPassed CoE, Awaiting Code:\n- True sight potions sold in town\n- PK GEO almost complete\n\nUpdated 31 Aug 2005 @ 5:30pm by Vortok\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| Knowledge -> Classes -> Fathomers -> Introduction               By: Genge |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nYarr. I held an internal CoD poll to determing which class would be\nchosen for this section this month, and Fathomers won by three votes. So, this \nmonth you can read about pirates - and you had better damned well read it, \nbecause everyone loves pirates... except, of course, ninjas. Fathomers are a \nhybrid class - they are partially magicusers and partially combatants. Their \nspells and spells use both mana and mvs - but only one or the other. RoD's \npirates are a Rogue genre class, with dexterity as their prime attribute, \nintelligence as their secondary, and constitution as their deficiency. The \naverage fathomer base is - in my experience - around 700 hp. None of mine have \nunder 700, but I have seen a great many fathomers with 680 bases. The highest \nI have personally leveled was 722, and the lowest was 704. When creating one, \nI suggest you use Half-elf as the race, as this will result in a higher base. \nI'd suggest 13+str\/16int\/18dex\/14+lck. That may be difficult to roll. If you \nare going to be devout, you can drop the str and dex further - but, with 13str,\nyou will need to use a cinch to max str, so keep that in mind. Leveling a \nfathomer is rather simple. They have an excellent selection of low level \nweapons, can broach doors at level 6, and get their first attack spell at level\n10. At 12 comes dodge, Second at 18, Enhaned at 21, Parry at 23, dual at 29, \nthird at 36, and fourth at 43. There's really nothing special about leveling \none - just go to it.\n\nSUPPORT:\n  - Aquaeforme: 10% resist cold\/slash, 10% suscept blunt - 300 rounds, \n                  50 mana\n  - Glass eye: True sight - 50 mana, 15 rounds\n  - Submerge: Aqua breath. Will only work when not underwater. 400 rnds, 37 mvs\n  - Windwalk: Float - 150 rounds, 10 mana\n  - Mutiny: +1 lck, +3 hr, + 50ac - 15 mana, 70 rounds\n\nTACTICAL:\n  - Isscyll: Drops str, dex, and hr for a few rounds. 15 mana, 24 beats lag.\n  - Vindur Gust: Blinding, -200 Max mana, +50 ac - 6 rounds.\n  - Seasting: -50 MAX moves, -1 dex - 30 mana, 25 rounds.\n\nUTILITIES:\n  - Fog: Hide\/sneak.\n  - Isfundere: Room attack.\n  - Laesa Tronada: Attack spell that _fills_ target's thirst level.\n  - Salinate: Spell that _lowers_ your thirst level.\n  - Seasight: Scry.\n  - Broach: Opens doors.\n  - Pilfer: Steal.\n  - Rummage: Search, except it's quicker and costs 5 mana.\n\nCOMBAT:\nFathomer's combat skills break down as follows:\n - Long blades:   95\n - Short blades:  95\n - Talonous arms: 80\n - Enhanced Dam:  70\n - Second attack: 95\n - Third attack:  65\n - Fourth attack: 20\n - Dodge:         95\n - Parry:         90 \n - Disarm:        75\n - Dual wield:    90\n\nSo, where do fathomers excel? Their melee isn't anything special. They don't \nmelee as strongly as vampires and have 5% less parry than them. Where's the \nadvantage to using a fathomer? It's mostly versatility. Fathomers can be used\neffectively for mobs magic hits (via Vindur Gong - which is only 35 mana), or\nfor mobs which very few things hit at all with feign. It's an excellent skill\nto use on a mob that just doesn't want to get hit. Keep in mind that in order\nfor feign to be its most effective, you'll need to sacrifice DR and HP in \nexchange for mvs. If you plan on using a fathomer in a mostly magical \ncapacity, then you can wear mostly the same equipment you would use on a \nthief of the same alignment - except fathomers have a few more choices for \nweapons as they can use long blades or talonous arms. Feign can be used with\nany weapontype, and has lag similar to circle. If you were looking at Tronada\nMacele, allow me to steer you away from it right now - it has the same lag as\nqlippothic with a tonne less damage. It's an underpowered spell, which \nrestores a miniscule amount of moves. If you were planning on using it for \nrestoring moves after feigning, you're in for an unpleasant shock. So, to \nreview: Fathomers aren't as bad as everyone seems to think they are, as long \nas you don't use tronada and equip it right.\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n  \n\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n| The 100th Issue of the Cry of Despair                         By: Alysira |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nThe 100th Issue is only four weeks away.\n\nThe staff are working hard to make this the biggest issue ever, but we need\nyour help.\n\nIf you have anything you would like to contribute to the 100th issue,\nplease contact any staff member ASAP. All entries MUST be received by the\n20th of September, the 100th Issue will be posted on the 1st of October\nwith no exceptions!\n\nHelp us celebrate this fantastic magazine by filling it with great stories,\ngames, articles, or anything else you wish!\n\n-Alysira\n\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------\n|                                                                           |\n+----------------------------------------------------------------------------<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pixie News: we are not for dinner; Genge: Fathomers __ ___________________________________ __________________________ \/ \\\/ \\ \\ \/ \/\\ | \\ \/ \/\/ \/%%| | Issue 99, September 2005 |%%%| \\____\/ ____ _____ |%%\/ \\ \/ | ,- _=. \/\\ | | (&#8216; \/| || \\ \\ (( || ,._-_ &#8216;\\\\\/\\\\ \/&#8217;\\\\ =||= \\ \\ ((&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-1926","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1926"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1926\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1935,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1926\/revisions\/1935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}