{"id":2005,"date":"2024-03-21T12:51:22","date_gmt":"2024-03-21T12:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=2005"},"modified":"2024-03-21T12:53:46","modified_gmt":"2024-03-21T12:53:46","slug":"cry-of-despair-144","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/cry-of-despair-144\/","title":{"rendered":"Cry of Despair #144"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-white-color has-text-color\">A humble Tourist wins a Cry Award, ponders adventures in touristing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"cryofdespair\">\n               _____\n   *          ( ____)           .    +          .\n        +     ( ____)\n   .          ( ____)                               *\n              ( ____)      +\n              ( ____)                      \n          .   ( ____)    +            .\n  +           ( ____)             ______ ______ ______   ______ ______\n    \/\\______\/|:_____:|\\______\/\\  |   (__   () |    | | |    ) |    __|\n   (( ======= ------- ======= )) |______)___|\\_\\___   | |______;___|\n    \\_________________________\/                |______|\n              |::|  |  ______ ______ _______ ______ ______ ___ ______\n Number 144   |::|  | |   _) \\  \\___|(_   (_   () |    . |   |   () |\n              |::|  | |______\/______|__)____)    __|____|_;___;___|\\_\\\n ------------ |::|  | --------------------- |___| --------------------\n [Editor]     |::|  | [This Issue's Writers]\n Annale       |::|  |  Annale, Vokith, Ashandra, Matanza, Leala\n              |::|  |  \n              |::|  | \n [Sponsor]    |::|  | [Imm Contributors]\n Falennt      |::|  |  Romani, Stoneheft, Loril, Falennt\n              |::|  |  \n              |::|  | \n              |::|  | \n              |::|  | \n ------------ |::|  | ------------------------------------------------\n\n See HELP CRY2 for the table of contents.\n\n2 \n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 2    \\\/    Table of Contents\n\n This Month's Special:\n   CoD Award Response                  - Annale          CRY3\n   Reader Clarification                - Falennt         CRY4\n   The tourist responds to             - Loril           CRY5-6\n       his Cry Award\n\n Monthly Article     \n   Helpfile of the Month               - Annale          CRY7-8\n\n Nation News\n   Quendi (Elf)                        - Annale          CRY9-10\n   Uruk'hai (Half-Ogre)                - Klaatu          CRY11-12\n   Khazad (Dwarf)                      - Stoneheft       CRY13\n   Rukhas'Dul (Half-Orc)               - Vokith          CRY14-15\n   Aerandir (Sea-Elf)                  - Ashandra        CRY16\n\n Quest News\n   February CoD Quest Results          - Annale          CRY17-20\n   April CoD Quest                     - Annale          CRY21\n\n Realms Living\n   Matanza's Guide to Achieving \n          an Overwhelming Population     - Matanza         CRY22-26\n\n Funny Bones\n   Drinking Mudders...                 - Leala           CRY27\n   Quotes out of Context               - Romani & Annale CRY28\n   Random Immortal Wisdom              - Romani          CRY29\n   Odd and Amusing Titles              - Annale          CRY30\n   AV Antics                           - Romani          CRY31\n\n Announcements and Advertisements\n   Shop with Guts'n'Glory!                               CRY32\n   Advertise with the Cry!                               CRY33\n   CoD Readers Reward                                    CRY34\n   Reunion Logo Contest                                  CRY35\n   Happy Easter!                                         CRY36\n\n  Cry of Despair Staff\n   Letter from the Editor                                CRY37\n   Write for the Cry                                     CRY38\n   From Falennt's Inkwell                                CRY39\n\n\n3 \n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 3    \\\/    CoD Award Response - Annale \n\nLeosoth: for the record, i'm no bachelor  \nDestre: and this information is being provided because ??\nLeosoth: it makes me ineligible for Valentines' Award #11\n\n4\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 4    \\\/    Reader Clarification - Falennt \n\nYou tell Leoseth 'I heard you are not a bachelor anymore.'\nLeoseth tells you 'not for a few months'\nYou tell Leoseth 'Who's the lucky one?'\nLeoseth tells you 'Lord Miguel'\nLeoseth tells you '(Roxorz and Mike)'\n\nSo we have it. The truth.\n\n5\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 5    \\\/    The Tourist Responds - Loril\n\nLoril, upon noting the tourist's win in the latest CRY Awards, asked him for\nhis thoughts on his award. Here is his reply ...\n\nFirst, I'd like to thank everyone for their votes. Most unexpected! In truth,\nthough, it was touristing that won me that high honour.\n\nPeople are so busy these days. Oh, they're running around killing dread lords\nand becoming heroes. And I suppose that we do need dread lords to die and, the\nworld always needs heroes. I think more people should just take up touristing.\n \nSome people are busy just with their lives. Take that sweet young mother I met \nwhen I visited the fabled market in Ocean Keep. She's very happy with her busy \nlife but sometimes she misses her traveling days.I know I would! All she needed\nwas some flowers to brighten up her days. I'm never busy killing dread lords\n(or healing the killers) so I was glad to oblige. See, my point is that my\ntouristing allowed me to make the little lady's acquaintance which, in turn,\ngave me another touristing opportunity! Nice little chunk of exp, I must say!\n\n6\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 6   \\\/    The Tourist Responds - Loril\n\nThen there was the time I wandered north to see the rich architecture at the\nTemple of the Golden Citadel - gold everywhere, there was! But once again, talk\nabout busy! Here was this priestess of Bahamut. She started into yelling at me\nabout dilly dallying... well, that was another adventure, I must say. But my \npoint is that I get these adventures from just touristing around. Another\nlittle chunk of exp and an interesting side trip as well!\n \nI highly recommend touristing for anyone looking for different experiences. You\nnever know what new adventures you might find. I've named just two of the many \nfine adventures I've encountered.\n \nI'm off now to view the beauty of the vallenwoods and Prayer's Eye Peak on\nthe shores of Crystalmir Lake. Perhaps further adventures await me there!\n \nYour humble award winner ... \n\n7\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 7    \\\/    Helpfile of the Month - Annale\n  __________________________________________________________________________\no(__    ___    _ __     ____  _   __     ____  _   __  _____   ____  _   ___)o\n |                   Supporting the Realms of Despair                       |\n |                                                                          |\n | Realms of Despair is a totally free MUD which reaches a global           |\n | audience. Players come here to look for an exciting MUD to play.         |\n | In order to promote the Realms of Despair we ask that our players        |\n | vote twice a day. Voting for RoD brings in new players. The main         |\n | voting site for the Realms of Despair:                                   |\n |                                                                          |\n | http:\/\/www.topmudsites.com\/vote-thoric.html                              |\n |                                                                          |\n | Secondary voting sites:                                                  |\n | http:\/\/www.mudconnect.comgi-bin\/vote_rank.cgi?mud=Realms+of+Despair    |\n | http:\/\/www.rpggateway.comgi-bin\/wyrm\/rate.cgi?ID=9303                  |\n | http:\/\/www.top100gamesites.comcripts\/arp\/rankem.cgi?action=inrodprc    |\n | http:\/\/www.rpgtopsites.com\/in.php3?list=978316149ite=realmsofdespair     |\n |                                                                          |\n | Please vote twice a day, every 12 hours on the main voting site.         |\n |                                                                          |\n | See also: HELP SUPPORT_ROD                                               |\n |__    ___   __    _____   __    _____   __    _____   __  ______  _____  _|\no(__________________________________________________________________________)o\n\n\n8\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 8   \\\/    Helpfile of the Month - Annale \n\nCLIPBOARD\n---------------------------------------------------------------------\nSyntax: examine           provides a list of notes in your clipboard\n        examine  #        reads the specified note\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nA clipboard is a container that will only accept notes to be placed in it. You\ncan obtain a list of notes, similar to listing a note board, or read a specific\nnote via the examine command.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nSee also: HELP EDITOR, GUIDE, NOTE, CONTAINER\n&D\n\n9\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 9   \\\/    Quendi Nation News - \n\nShirl still looking for fresh fruit\n\nFox and Fiddle's waitress, Shirl, is still seeking Elven farmers to \nnegotiate a fresh fruit trade.  Without a new trade agreement, Shirl fears that\nthe delicious fruit-and-cream trifles currently offered will have its price\nraised, or worse, be removed from the menu due to lack of high quality fruit.\n\nNation Olympics\n\nWith talk of the upcoming Nation Olympics, Tari Annale is encouraging all \nElves to begin preparing.  This year the Elves are going to make a strong\nshowing and take home the Gold!\n\nContinued... help CRY10\n\n\n10\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 10   \\\/    Quendi Nation News - \n\nRecap Elf Nation Quest Feb 28th\n \nTen brave Elves decided to test their\nluck against the fates. After the dust settled\n \nFranklin came out on top with a Full House.   Av Warrior\nMerkess in second with three 4s               Av Thief\nThrom in third with two pair Aces and 10s     \n \nThanks to all involved in the quest, Romani for Imm support, the Questors\nfor making it worth while, and to Creemore for organizing the quest!\n \nThe next quest is set for May (subject to change).\n \nHope to see more pointy ears taking part in the fun and games!\n \nCreemore Springs\nAnnale Firestorm\n\n11\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 11   \\\/    Uruk'hai Nation News - Klaatu \n\nFrom the Opallinoc News Bureau:\n \nDateline Opallinoc - Love in the Realms\nRaucous laughter, catcalls and snide remarks are following the chieftain of\nthe Uruk'hai throughout Opallinoc. This was the fourth year in a row that a\nmember of the Uruk'hai has placed in the Valentine Match. Our  benevolent\nchieftain accounts for three of the showings. Some of the Uruk'hai children\nare already singing songs of him taking up with that Olog'hai female he was\nin \"negotiations\" with. But the Uruk'hai women are now strutting more proudly,\na gleam in their eye, knowing full well about a burning hunk of big ogre hugs.\n \nDateline the Burrows - Fallohide Tales\nVolstagg the Catacomb Dweller was in DarkHaven for supplies. While waiting\nfor the shopkeepers to fill his orders, he stopped at the Cracked Cask for a\nmug of ale. There he met a resident of the Burrows that told of a fabled sash\nthe adventurous Hobbits wore to keep their pipeweed bread and herbs safe.\nThese Hobbits of daring were called Fallohides and thus the name carried over\non to the various items they wore. Volstagg, being ever the explorer, told the\nHobbit he was intrigued and would send word should he come across information.\n \nDateline Southern Mountain Range - Gold and Silver Ores\nRumors abound from the miners passing through Edel that the veins of gold and\nsilver ores have run out. It has been some time since Roovin has gotten any\nof those ores to smelt into ingots and bars. More information is needed.\n\n12\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 12   \\\/    Uruk'hai Nation News - Klaatu \n\nFrom the Opallinoc News Bureau:\n\nDateline Dunhill - Former Pixie Colony\nThe conversion of the former Pixie Colony in Dunhill to a fortified\nredoubt for the Uruk'hai is finally complete. Supplies and weaponry\nhave been well stocked such that it can withstand a siege for a year.\nSecurity patrols cover the perimeter watching for 'prying eyes'.\n\nDateline Darkhaven - Town Crier Announcements\nDarkhaven's Town Crier has been filling the streets with his melodic\nvoice about the discovery of Winterlight Island. The location of this\nnew land is rumored to be in the Sea of Sorrows. Volstagg the Catacomb\nDweller is looking for adventurers to seek the wonders of the new land.\n\nDateline Kingdon of Juargan - The Mines\nSome time ago Volstagg the Catacomb Dweller found a sealed mine entrance\nalong the Northern Trade Route. He went back to explore this find further\nand encounterd a few dwarves entering the mine shaft. Following then down,\nVolstagg found himself in the Kingdom of Juargan. This was a much faster\nroute to the area than was previously known. Wandering around, taking note\nof various activities, he came to the conclusion mining activity had\nincreased. Further excavation for ores and or gems is being looked at.\n\n13\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 13   \\\/    Khazad Nation News - Stoneheft  \n\nPrecious metals are getting rarer, according to all rumours that are coming my\nway. With the apparent completion of all gold and silver ore extraction from\nthe rough terrain along the escarpment over the Forest of Tears, mining may be\nreturning to the proper realm, below the surface where it becomes our game.\nWe know for a fact that Juargan's mines are still rich in these ores and our\npeople are welcome to share the wealth so long as we're willing to share the\nresponsibility of cleaning up the duergar infestation.\n\nIn Edel, the rat population is still growing. please remember to kill any rats\nyou see before all of the food storages are spoiled.\n\n14\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 14   \\\/    Rukhas'Dul Nation News - Vokith  \n\nHard country gives birth to hearty people. This statement holds true for\nthe Rukhas'Dul of Mount Krozloy, who work the dry earth and solid rock of\ntheir mountain home, the valleys that surround it, and the forests and\npeaks beyond.\n \nLumber mills reopen, the thunderous crash of trees splitting the midnight\nskies around the Rukhas homeland. The mines, too, find renewed activity,\nand the sound of metal chiselling away at hard stone can be heard late\ninto the night.\n \nEven the barracks, which had been burned to the ground during the Rukhas\nrevolutions against Vermicio's Doom Pixie regime, had been rebuilt and now\nwere alive again with trainees for the reforming Rukhas'Dul military.\n \nVokith Drah'zi, High Chieftain of the Rukhas'dul, oversaw this all through\ntired and sunken grey eyes. On his desk sat a rolled-up piece of elfskin\nparchment, the writing on it a clear red: shaman's blood. The Chieftain was\nnot displeased with what he had read; at least half of it was good news.\nBut the other half... that would be a tough pill for his people to swallow.\nIt would require a complete rewriting of the Rukhas'Dul histories, to reflect\nthis one, significant change.\n\nContinued...help CRY15\n\n15\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 15   \\\/    Rukhas'Dul Nation News - Vokith  \n\nThe greyskin stood on his balcony, overlooking the valley before the mountain.\nFor the first time in millenia, tans and greens and greys could be seen\nworking together on projects varying from mining and lumberjacking to\nsoldiering and construction.\n \nDrah'zi had his legacy. Now he had to prepare the nation for its own.\n \nIt would not be an easy task.\n \n                                -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-\n \n[OOC]: The Rukhas'Dul Nation is presently in a state of reconstruction\nfollowing the destruction reaped on it by Kragash's genocidal mania and\nVermicio's tyrannical regime. Any and all who wish to become involved in\nthe future of the Nation, ICly, are invited to come and make their voice\nheard at the Local Scrawl, in our hometown.\n \nThere is a wealth of positions available on the Nation's council. Please\ncontact Vokith for details.\n\n16\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 16   \\\/    Aerandir Nation News - Ashandra  \n\nOur quest details are nearly finalized! March 27th, starting at 5pm site\ntime we will begin playing a little game.\n \nIf you wish, you may speak to me at any time before that day and we will make\na character for you, this will not require you to make an actual new character\nagain, you will simply be playing as someone else. You will possibly have a\nfew advantages starting before the others, but this is not always a good thing\nin Paranoia.\n\nAnyone else, will be given characters at the start of the night, and any other\ncharacters as needed.\n\nNow for the important things, rewards for playing! Every player will recieve \n1 million gold! That's right, for simply joining in, you get money. Larger\nrewards will go to those that survive the night, those that amuse the players,\nalso those that just amuse me. I will warn you now, rewards will be given and\ntaken away rather arbitrarily, but that has always been part of the fun.\n \nOther rewards may or may not be given out as well, you won't know unless you\nplay. So contact me and let's get this going!\n\n17\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 17   \\\/    February CoD Results - Annale  \n\nTeeheehee!  Thanks to everyone who submitted their word lists!  I definitely\nenjoyed the completed madlibs!  You can enjoy them too on the next couple of\npages!\n\nCongratulations to the people who made me laugh the most!  Err, I mean,\ncongratulations to the randomly selected people:\n\nAkacia, Brandal, and Lilcal!\n\nPlease contact Falennt for your prizes!\n\n\n18\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 18   \\\/    February CoD Results - Annale \n\nGravlock's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your frayed daughter.  I would like to ask her for her\nspleen in marriage.  She is my idea of an invasive Rambo. She is the \nonly pogo-stick I have ever loved.  We would like to get danced in \nautumn. Hopefully the lightning will cooperate on the day we choose.  \nMr. PeeWee Herman please allow me to marry Ghengis Kahn.\n\nBrandal's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your frumpy daughter.  I would like to ask her for her\nankle in marriage.  She is my idea of an inscrutable Akael. She is the \nonly ouija board I have ever loved.  We would like to get spelunked in \nspring. Hopefully the clogs will cooperate on the day we choose.  \nMr. Destre please allow me to marry Romani.\n\n19\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 19   \\\/    February CoD Results - Annale\n\nBrendy's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your bony daughter.  I would like to ask her for her\nknuckles in marriage.  She is my idea of a painful Mary. She is the \nonly grandmaster I have ever loved.  We would like to get molested\nin summer. Hopefully the closet will cooperate on the day we choose. \nMr. Johnny please allow me to marry Mary.\n\nReodan's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your repugnant daughter.  I would like to ask her for \nher duodenum in marriage.  She is my idea of an enthralling Chewbacca. \nShe is the only steeple I have ever loved.  We would like to get\nundulated in autumn. Hopefully the planetoid will cooperate on the \nday we choose.  Mr. Charles Darwin please allow me to marry Miyamoto \nMusashi .\n\n20\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 20   \\\/    February CoD Results - Annale \n\nLilcal's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your wicked daughter.  I would like to ask her for \nher fallopian tube in marriage.  She is my idea of an long Brad Pitt. \nShe is the only principal I have ever loved.  We would like to get\nspanked in summer. Hopefully the priest will cooperate on the \nday we choose.  Mr. Simon Cowell please allow me to marry Judge Judy.\n\nAkacia's Madlib Submission:\n\nI am in love with your glamorous daughter.  I would like to ask her for \nher pinky finger in marriage.  She is my idea of an smelly Gonnil. \nShe is the only mockingbird I have ever loved.  We would like to get\nfrolicked in spring. Hopefully the rosebud will cooperate on the \nday we choose.  Mr. Stoneheft please allow me to marry Ceirana.\n\n\n21\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 21   \\\/    April CoD Quest - Annale \n\nSo, I enjoyed the madlibs so much, I'm going to run another one!  Once\nagain, in a mudmail submit your word choices in proper order.  The next \nmonth I will publish the story with each submission's words inputted.  \nSubmissions must meet RoD's guidelines of appropriateness for content.  \nLet's hope for lots of laughs!  Three entries will be chosen at random to \nbe this months' winners!  (Randomness will be affected by how much I laugh :P)\n\nGood luck!\n\nWord list:\n1. Adjective\n2. Person\n3. Animal\n4. Plural noun\n5. Another plural noun\n6. Noun\n7. Verb\n8. Noun\n9. Animal\n10. Adjective\n11. Adjective\n\n\n22\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 22   \\\/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population\n\nThe age of MUDs is not over, but it is no longer golden. MUDs around the world\nare suffering population declines, but some still manage to keep a healthy\npopulation and still bring in new players every day. Realms of Despair is\nstill getting its share of new players but the fact is the game just isn't as\npopular as it used to be. While many players have voiced opinions over the\nyears of their own ways in which the MUD's population could be improved, never\nhas an idea so inspired - I dare say genius - come to the attention of the\nRealms residents. The time for waiting is over. I present to you a guaranteed\nway to make RoD the number one MUD, and quite possibly resurrect the Golden\nAge of MUDding.\n \nThree new races. That's all it will take. Three new races and maybe a little\nviral advertising - because hey, everyone is doing it nowadays, including Sony.\nWell, until they got caught - idiots.\n\n23\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 23   \\\/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population\n\nFirst, The Kitarn\n \nThe Kitarn are a sub-race of humans who appear to be half-cat. The Kitarn walk\nand talk like humans but exhibit many of the characteristics of cats. They are\nexceedingly affectionate - but only if their target has something they want.\nThey possess the ears of cats as well as their tails and many wear prosthetic\nclaws to enable them to climb and scratch like their cat brethren. Their\nsenses of smell, sight, and hearing are beyond that of humans but they lack\nthe human ability to think logically and rationally, often resulting in Kitarn\nchildren being killed or injured in dangerous activities. For this reason\ntheir society is often very closed off to protect their youth and only those\nwith a taste for adventure (and birds) will leave the villages.\n \nIt remains a mystery as to the exact nature of the fusing of human and cat\ngenetics, but many believe a wizard to be responsible. Their cat markings can\nresemble most any type of cat, from jungle prowlers to simple domesticated\ncalicos. Their temperament is just as varied; some are natural hunters while\nothers are very lazy.\n \nKitarn possess the natural ability to see in the dark. Their catlike reflexes\ngive them a natural bonus to dexterity and they do not take damage from\nfalling. They are, however, susceptible to water-based attacks and will not\nenter areas with excessive amounts of water. They suffer a penalty to charisma\nand hitroll when they are in rainy weather.\n\nKitarn are quite versatile but have not mastered the ways of magic. They can\nchoose the following classes:\n      Thief Warrior Vampire Ranger Paladin Fathomer Bladesinger\n\nKitarn gain experience on a scale of normal rate * 1.02\n\n24\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 24   \\\/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population\n\nSecond, The Lapinians\n \nThe peaceful Lapinians are the second of three sub-races of humans created by\nthe mysterious wizard. They do not believe in combat except when absolutely\nnecessary and as such cannot be found filling the roles of aggressive classes.\nLapinians possess ears like rabbits as well as large teeth and an unusual\ndesire to consume carrots and other roots. They are generally very quiet and\nlove to stay within the confines of their forests and meadows. \n \nLapinians tend to avoid contact with the other races, humans included, though\nthey have been known to make exceptions for trolls half-trolls. While nobody\ntruly understands the reason why Lapinians find trolls tolerable it seems an\ninteresting alliance. The trolls do not view Lapinians as food, but rather\nequals, and can often be found protecting the Lapinians from larger, predatory\nraces.\n \nLapinians have a sense of hearing that is above and beyond that of any other\nrace. For this reason they can detect both sneak and hide from even the most\ndexterous creatures. Although they can hear invisible creatures they cannot\nsee them, which often causes great confusion and fear. In the presence of an\ninvisible creature they gain increased movement speed and will move in two\ndirections at once for a short time. Lapinians prefer the forest and meadows,\nand fear cities. They will enter a city, though reluctantly, and their\nconstitution will suffer greatly until they return to the forest. Finally,\nLapinians possess an improved hide ability which burrows them underground and\nprotects them from even the detect hidden spell. A crafty ogre or orc looking\nfor a meal can dig where he believes a Lapinian to be hiding to find his snack.\n \nLapinians, being mostly pacifist, can choose the following classes:\n      Cleric Druid Mage (Paths of Balance, Countermagick, Defense, and the \n      Quill only)\n\nLapinians who choose the path of the Druid cannot use the spell \"Abrar\nBeathach\".\n\nLapinians gain experience at a scale of normal rate * 1.10\n\n25\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 25   \\\/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population\n\nThird, the Equestrimen\n \nThe Equestrimen are a mysterious sub-race of humans who do everything in their\npower to avoid the common races. It's not that they fear other races, but\nrather they see themselves as an evolutionary step the rest of the races have\nnot yet reached, and therefore they are unworthy. Equestrimen are incredibly\nproud of their heritage, even if it was simply the whim of a wizard. They have\nbeen known to interact with the most human of the common races, mostly just\nhumans and half-elves. They find particular interest in the Lizardmen, and\nsome claim to have found several thriving Lizardmen settlements, suggesting\nthey are not actually dead but rather building up their numbers out of the\nsight of the common races.\n \nAlthough they are bipedal, Equestrimen can use their arms as additional legs\nwhen they need to quickly across long distances. They have elongated necks and\npossess high strength and constitution. Equestrimen are not immune to backstab\nand circle, but unprepared thieves will find themselves the victims of vicious\nkicks from the startled creature. Equestrimen cannot mount creatures, but can\nbe mounted by humans and half-elves when they enter their running stance.\nEquestrimen fight better with no weapons equipped and receive a bonus to\ndamage roll when they are weaponless. Equestrimen Warriors and Barbarians gain\na bonus to their Bash and Stun skills, while Rangers and Bladesingers can use\ntheir blade-specific abilities with no weapons equipped.\n\nEquestrimen are strong and capable fighters. They can follow the following\nclasses:\n     Warrior Ranger Bladesinger Barbarian\n \nEquestrimen gain experience at a scale of normal rate * 0.85\n\n26\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 26   \\\/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population\n&h\nNow the question you're all asking. Why animals? More specifically, WHY\nFURRIES? The answer is simple. If you look at the history of online gaming,\none community has lasted longer than any other: the furries. Once upon a time\nthe majority of furries were only found in Furcadia and Newgrounds Flash\nanimations but many have migrated to nearly any game that supports their cause\n(either directly or indirectly). \n\nFurcadia is still highly popular, with over 1600 players online at the time \nof this writing (and I made the sacrifice of visiting that website for your \nreading pleasure). Second Life has seen their furry population become one of \nthe most popular and vocal populations in the game since its creation. Final \nFantasy XI was released several years ago and their race the Mithra enabled \nnot only furries but also anime fans the ability to play a catgirl who could \ncast magic spells. Final Fantasy XI was the number one MMO in the world until \nWorld of Warcraft pushed it to number 2. Finally, Champions Online saw an \ninflux of furry superheroes during its early months. Citizens of Millennium \nCity still report sightings of characters like Mr. Foxtastic saving their \nfriends from fires and muggings.\n \nIf Realms of Despair supported the furry movement by introducing these new\nraces and followed it up with some careful keywording on the website and\nforums, with a little viral advertising in the furry communities, we would\nfind ourselves with many new furry players. Give them hometowns full of the\nsort of things furries like and let them boost our player numbers. Once the\nnumber of players on the MUD increases with the help of furries we will take\nthe number one spot away from those cheaters on TopMUDSites. Once we have our\nnumber one MUD spot secured we will see a further influx of players who want\nto play the number one MUD on the internet.\n \nThere is no way this idea could possibly backfire. It is perfect. Thanks,\nMatanza.\n\n27\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 27   \\\/    Drinking Mudders... - Leala \n\nDrinking mudders are advised to wear seatbelts so they do not fall from their\nchairs. \nThis has been a public service announcement by the Immortals of RoD. Oh, and\nVote RoD: http:\/\/www.topmudsites.com\/vote-thoric.html\nRomani has restored you.\nHurley: But what if they like to fall?\nRomani: Ask Beleth\nRomani: *giggling here*\nLeala: death by carpet!\nRomani: chortles\nHurley: Beleth, have you been getting in to the sauce?\n\n28\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 28   \\\/    Quotes out of Context - Romani & Annale \n\nSolcent ordertalks 'so i feel less special when i typo'\n\nKono chats 'my typo was better'\n\nCeirana> don't make me brussel your sprouts!\n\nPasquale: In your peaceful trance, you collect welfare from the government.\nRakasha: i prefer:   In your peaceful trance, you collect unemployment from\nthe state.\n\nGiovanna:Sometimes a good pillow helps you sleep...forever.\n\nHubris tells you 'my m-brain just had an image of RoD reunion 50!'\nHubris tells you 'well, for one thing we'd all be their by remote projection..\n. so no mosquitoes.  and we'd all have done body alteration to look like our\nmain chars ;^)'\n \nYou tell Hubris 'I like it!'\n\nGirbag chats 'ooo janklin's secret'\nStoneheft chats 'Is that like Victoria's secret, but for dwarves?'\n\nBeleth ordertalks 'know the enemy, be the enemy *evil*'\n\n\n29\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 29   \\\/    Random Immortal Wisdom - Romani \n\nCeirana> don't make me brussel your sprouts!\n \nLoril> I think people are born more clever than they become. :)\n\n\n30\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(    \n Page 30   \\\/    Odd & Amusing Titles - Romani & Annale\n\nAvatar          Lilbrim.        (         \nAvatar          Braz.            \\        \nAvatar          Bruz.             )       \nAvatar          Brax.        ##========>  \nAvatar          Brex.             )       \nAvatar          Brox.            \/        \nAvatar          Brux.           (         \n\nBelkira is curious to know who else wants to play the title game.\nBelkira \nBelkira \nLeala's title pulled the same stunt as Belkira's title.\n\n31\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 31   \\\/    AV Antics - Romani \n\nNakor: who's on first\nAshandra: That's what I'm asking.\nNakor: yes\nNakor: (third base)\nNakor: what's the name of the man on first?\nNakor: who.\nNakor: then name of the man on first base\nNakor: who.\nNakor: THATS WHAT I'M ASKING\nNakor: Who's the man on first base?\nNakor: yes\nBolotomus: what is on second\nNakor: (third base)\nRomani: I don't know is third base\nPexacal: All I want to know is.. What's the man's name that plays first base?\nNakor: no what's the name of the man on second\nPexacal: Who is?\nNakor: what\nPexacal: What I want to know.. is when the man that plays first base picks \nup his paycheck.. who gets it?\nNakor: absolutely\nCalaraje: sometimes his wife picks it up\nPexacal: who's wife?\nPasquale: When he finishes his disseration, and receives a diploma, what \nwill it name him as?\nIchigo: Who.\nPasquale: What?\nPasquale: But he will have a Ph.D. What will people call him?\nIchigo: Doctor\nPasquale: Doctor what?\nHurley: Doctor who?\nPasquale: ARGH\n\n32\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 32   \\\/    Shop with Guts'n'Glory! \n\nIf you are in need of some equipment at fair prices, look no further than\nNW of DH[]!  Kaleo and Lilkal are ready to help you with your equipment\nneeds!\n\nWith new items available on these bots, and constant restocking, Kaleo and\nLilkal can save you time and gold!  \n\nJust type whois kaleo or whois lilkal for a stock and price listing and\nfind them NW of DH[]!\n\n33\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 33   \\\/    Advertise with the Cry! \n\nAdvertise with the Cry of Despair!\n\nDo you own a bot?  \nAre you looking to sell a few things and make a little gold?\nThe Cry of Despair is a great place to advertise your wares!  \nLet people know where you park your sellbots, afterall, people need to know \nwhere you are in order for you to get their gold!\n\nAre you looking to buy something? Place an advertisement in the Cry! \nWho knows, maybe someone is looking to sell what you are looking to buy!\n\nJust write up a little advertisement and mudmail it to Annale, or post \nit on the CoD Public board located e,s,3u,w from Darkhaven Square and \nyour advertisement will be published in the next issue!\n\n34\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 34   \\\/    CoD Readers Reward \n\n           .=======================ooooooo\n   ___   ,'    \\_________________________________________\n  \/   \/-\/   dP  \/  Cry of Despair           \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  ''--..._\n  \\___\\-\\  dP   \\    Readers Reward         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  __..--'\n         `-------------------------------------''''''''''''''\n\nThe staff at the CoD would like to thank you, the readers for your support,\ninput, and for reading each month!  For this reason, we have introduced \nThe Cry of Despair Readers Reward!.\n\nEach month, 10 million gold coins will be made available to one lucky \nreader!\n\nHow do you qualify?  Just write to us at the Cry of Despair!  Comprehensive\n'Letters to the Editor', well-written feedback letters to an article, or \ndetailed suggestion letters are all qualifying entries!\n\nA minimum of ten entries must be received in order for the draw to be \nopened that month.  If 10 entries are not received, the money is pooled \nand added to the next issue's draw.  The entries will also be saved for the \nnext draw.  If, after ten issues there have not been enough submissions, the \npot will be emptied and restarted.\n\nWho can submit? Why you, our loyal readers!  Only one submission per \ndraw. Any person caught submitting multiple entries on alts will be \ndisqualified from the draw. CoD Staff, Immortals, and alts are not \npermitted to enter the draw.\n\nHow do I submit? Mudmail your Letter to the Editor, feedback letter, or\nletter of suggestion to Annale or Falennt or post your letter on the CoD\npublic board at e,s,u,u,u,w from DH[].\n\nSubmissions will be published in the same issue as the draw.\n\nThis month's gold pool is worth: 50 Million Gold Coins!\n\n35\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 35   \\\/    Reunion Logo Contest \n\nIn celebration of the 16th Anniversary of the Realms of Despair Reunion, the\nImmortals are holding a contest to design a logo for the event!\n \nYour design may be anything that includes the words \"16th Anniversary Reunion\"\nand fits the celebratory theme. The deadline for this contest is the 1st of\nJune, and all entries should be e-mailed to Romani at\nHerald@RealmsOfDespair.com\n \nThe Herald Assembly will organize the judging of the entries, and the winner\nwill be presented with a set of Reunion souvenirs with their logo on it thanks\nto Thoric, and awarded with a glory prize.\n \nYou may enter this contest even if you are not attending the reunion. If you\nhave any questions, feel free to address them to the Herald Assembly. \nRemember that the deadline is the 1st of June, and enjoy!\n \n-The Immortals\n\n36\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 36   \\\/    Suggestion Box \n\n\t         H    H      A      PPPPPP  PPPPPP  Y   Y\n\t         H    H     A A     P    P  P    P   Y Y\n\t         HHHHHH    A   A    PPPPPP  PPPPPP    Y\n\t         H    H   AAAAAAA   P       P         Y\n\t         H    H  A       A  P       P         Y\n\n                              ___     ___\n                             \/::_\\._.\/_::\\  \n                          _={::(_>[_]<_ _=\"\"\n                          .d=\"\" i=\"\" ii=\"\" q=\"\"\nx=\"X=X=X=x\"\npxoxoxoxq=\"\"\neeeeee=\"\n\" a=\"\" ssssss=\"\" ttttt=\"\" rrrrrr=\"\"\ne=\"\" s=\"\" t=\"\" r=\"\" eee=\"\" rrrrr=\"\" aaaaaaa=\"\n\" _________________________________________________________=\"\">  \n           )(                          \n Page 37   \\\/    Letter from the Editor \n\nHappy Easter and other Spring related things!\n\nI want to say thank you to everyone submitting funny quotes and those \nhilarious madlibs! I can't wait for the next set of madlibs!\n\nSo much going on this month in the news!  Take a moment and take a look at\nthe new clipboards, or the new areas! I hear they are really intriguing!\n\nDon't forget to vote for RoD on TMS: \nhttp:\/\/www.topmudsites.com\/vote-thoric.html \n\nAs always, I'd like to remind everyone that the deadline for article \nsubmissions is the 25th of the month.  The next CoD will be published\nin June. So the next deadline is May 25th!\n\nThanks for reading,\nAnnale Firestorm  \n\n38\n\n           \/\\                           \n _         )( _________________________________________________________  \n(_)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(**)_________________________________________________________>  \n           )(                          \n Page 38   \\\/    Write for the Cry! \n\nWrite for the Cry!\n\nCurrently the Immortal Sponsors are looking for more and more writers.\nIf you are interested then please write a short note saying why you would \nlike the position.  Please include your normal online times so that the \nimmortals can interview you. \n\nWe also welcome freelance editors. Do contact Falennt or Annale for \nmore information.\n\nWe are also looking for more staff writers and freelancers. If you \nwould like to earn some income through writing just about anything, feel \nfree to speak with Falennt regarding your interest.\n\nOur Current Payment Rates\n\nEditor-in-Chief : 60 million gold per issue edited\nStaff Writers   : 4 million gold per page submitted.\n\nRegular freelancers  : 3 million gold per page submitted.\nOrganization Writers : 2 million gold per page submitted.\n\nThe Cry of Despair welcome all newbie and avatar writers alike. If \nyour passion is writing, do contact Falennt through mudmail or a tell.\n\nThank you in advance for your interest. \n\nN.B.: Staff Writer : Cry of Despair Staff, Regular Submissions required.\n      Freelancer   : Article submission not on regular basis, not required  \n                     to be on the Cry of Despair staff list.\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A humble Tourist wins a Cry Award, ponders adventures in touristing _____ * ( ____) . + . + ( ____) . ( ____) * ( ____) + ( ____) . ( ____) + . + ( ____) ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ \/\\______\/|:_____:|\\______\/\\ | (__ () | | | | ) | __| ((&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"class_list":["post-2005","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2005"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2005\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2014,"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2005\/revisions\/2014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realmsofdespair.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}