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A humble Tourist wins a Cry Award, ponders adventures in touristing

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 [Editor]     |::|  | [This Issue's Writers]
 Annale       |::|  |  Annale, Vokith, Ashandra, Matanza, Leala
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 [Sponsor]    |::|  | [Imm Contributors]
 Falennt      |::|  |  Romani, Stoneheft, Loril, Falennt
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 See HELP CRY2 for the table of contents.


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 Page 2    \/    Table of Contents

 This Month's Special:
   CoD Award Response                  - Annale          CRY3
   Reader Clarification                - Falennt         CRY4
   The tourist responds to             - Loril           CRY5-6
       his Cry Award

 Monthly Article     
   Helpfile of the Month               - Annale          CRY7-8

 Nation News
   Quendi (Elf)                        - Annale          CRY9-10
   Uruk'hai (Half-Ogre)                - Klaatu          CRY11-12
   Khazad (Dwarf)                      - Stoneheft       CRY13
   Rukhas'Dul (Half-Orc)               - Vokith          CRY14-15
   Aerandir (Sea-Elf)                  - Ashandra        CRY16

 Quest News
   February CoD Quest Results          - Annale          CRY17-20
   April CoD Quest                     - Annale          CRY21

 Realms Living
   Matanza's Guide to Achieving 
          an Overwhelming Population     - Matanza         CRY22-26

 Funny Bones
   Drinking Mudders...                 - Leala           CRY27
   Quotes out of Context               - Romani & Annale CRY28
   Random Immortal Wisdom              - Romani          CRY29
   Odd and Amusing Titles              - Annale          CRY30
   AV Antics                           - Romani          CRY31

 Announcements and Advertisements
   Shop with Guts'n'Glory!                               CRY32
   Advertise with the Cry!                               CRY33
   CoD Readers Reward                                    CRY34
   Reunion Logo Contest                                  CRY35
   Happy Easter!                                         CRY36

  Cry of Despair Staff
   Letter from the Editor                                CRY37
   Write for the Cry                                     CRY38
   From Falennt's Inkwell                                CRY39


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 Page 3    \/    CoD Award Response - Annale 

Leosoth: for the record, i'm no bachelor  
Destre: and this information is being provided because ??
Leosoth: it makes me ineligible for Valentines' Award #11


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 Page 4    \/    Reader Clarification - Falennt 

You tell Leoseth 'I heard you are not a bachelor anymore.'
Leoseth tells you 'not for a few months'
You tell Leoseth 'Who's the lucky one?'
Leoseth tells you 'Lord Miguel'
Leoseth tells you '(Roxorz and Mike)'

So we have it. The truth.


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 Page 5    \/    The Tourist Responds - Loril

Loril, upon noting the tourist's win in the latest CRY Awards, asked him for
his thoughts on his award. Here is his reply ...

First, I'd like to thank everyone for their votes. Most unexpected! In truth,
though, it was touristing that won me that high honour.

People are so busy these days. Oh, they're running around killing dread lords
and becoming heroes. And I suppose that we do need dread lords to die and, the
world always needs heroes. I think more people should just take up touristing.
Some people are busy just with their lives. Take that sweet young mother I met 
when I visited the fabled market in Ocean Keep. She's very happy with her busy 
life but sometimes she misses her traveling days.I know I would! All she needed
was some flowers to brighten up her days. I'm never busy killing dread lords
(or healing the killers) so I was glad to oblige. See, my point is that my
touristing allowed me to make the little lady's acquaintance which, in turn,
gave me another touristing opportunity! Nice little chunk of exp, I must say!


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 Page 6   \/    The Tourist Responds - Loril

Then there was the time I wandered north to see the rich architecture at the
Temple of the Golden Citadel - gold everywhere, there was! But once again, talk
about busy! Here was this priestess of Bahamut. She started into yelling at me
about dilly dallying... well, that was another adventure, I must say. But my 
point is that I get these adventures from just touristing around. Another
little chunk of exp and an interesting side trip as well!
I highly recommend touristing for anyone looking for different experiences. You
never know what new adventures you might find. I've named just two of the many 
fine adventures I've encountered.
I'm off now to view the beauty of the vallenwoods and Prayer's Eye Peak on
the shores of Crystalmir Lake. Perhaps further adventures await me there!
Your humble award winner ... 


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 Page 7    \/    Helpfile of the Month - Annale
o(__    ___    _ __     ____  _   __     ____  _   __  _____   ____  _   ___)o
 |                   Supporting the Realms of Despair                       |
 |                                                                          |
 | Realms of Despair is a totally free MUD which reaches a global           |
 | audience. Players come here to look for an exciting MUD to play.         |
 | In order to promote the Realms of Despair we ask that our players        |
 | vote twice a day. Voting for RoD brings in new players. The main         |
 | voting site for the Realms of Despair:                                   |
 |                                                                          |
 |                              |
 |                                                                          |
 | Secondary voting sites:                                                  |
 | http://www.mudconnect.comgi-bin/vote_rank.cgi?mud=Realms+of+Despair    |
 | http://www.rpggateway.comgi-bin/wyrm/rate.cgi?ID=9303                  |
 | http://www.top100gamesites.comcripts/arp/rankem.cgi?action=inrodprc    |
 |     |
 |                                                                          |
 | Please vote twice a day, every 12 hours on the main voting site.         |
 |                                                                          |
 | See also: HELP SUPPORT_ROD                                               |
 |__    ___   __    _____   __    _____   __    _____   __  ______  _____  _|


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 Page 8   \/    Helpfile of the Month - Annale 

Syntax: examine           provides a list of notes in your clipboard
        examine  #        reads the specified note

A clipboard is a container that will only accept notes to be placed in it. You
can obtain a list of notes, similar to listing a note board, or read a specific
note via the examine command.




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 Page 9   \/    Quendi Nation News - 

Shirl still looking for fresh fruit

Fox and Fiddle's waitress, Shirl, is still seeking Elven farmers to 
negotiate a fresh fruit trade.  Without a new trade agreement, Shirl fears that
the delicious fruit-and-cream trifles currently offered will have its price
raised, or worse, be removed from the menu due to lack of high quality fruit.

Nation Olympics

With talk of the upcoming Nation Olympics, Tari Annale is encouraging all 
Elves to begin preparing.  This year the Elves are going to make a strong
showing and take home the Gold!

Continued... help CRY10


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 Page 10   \/    Quendi Nation News - 

Recap Elf Nation Quest Feb 28th
Ten brave Elves decided to test their
luck against the fates. After the dust settled
Franklin came out on top with a Full House.   Av Warrior
Merkess in second with three 4s               Av Thief
Throm in third with two pair Aces and 10s     
Thanks to all involved in the quest, Romani for Imm support, the Questors
for making it worth while, and to Creemore for organizing the quest!
The next quest is set for May (subject to change).
Hope to see more pointy ears taking part in the fun and games!
Creemore Springs
Annale Firestorm


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 Page 11   \/    Uruk'hai Nation News - Klaatu 

From the Opallinoc News Bureau:
Dateline Opallinoc - Love in the Realms
Raucous laughter, catcalls and snide remarks are following the chieftain of
the Uruk'hai throughout Opallinoc. This was the fourth year in a row that a
member of the Uruk'hai has placed in the Valentine Match. Our  benevolent
chieftain accounts for three of the showings. Some of the Uruk'hai children
are already singing songs of him taking up with that Olog'hai female he was
in "negotiations" with. But the Uruk'hai women are now strutting more proudly,
a gleam in their eye, knowing full well about a burning hunk of big ogre hugs.
Dateline the Burrows - Fallohide Tales
Volstagg the Catacomb Dweller was in DarkHaven for supplies. While waiting
for the shopkeepers to fill his orders, he stopped at the Cracked Cask for a
mug of ale. There he met a resident of the Burrows that told of a fabled sash
the adventurous Hobbits wore to keep their pipeweed bread and herbs safe.
These Hobbits of daring were called Fallohides and thus the name carried over
on to the various items they wore. Volstagg, being ever the explorer, told the
Hobbit he was intrigued and would send word should he come across information.
Dateline Southern Mountain Range - Gold and Silver Ores
Rumors abound from the miners passing through Edel that the veins of gold and
silver ores have run out. It has been some time since Roovin has gotten any
of those ores to smelt into ingots and bars. More information is needed.


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 Page 12   \/    Uruk'hai Nation News - Klaatu 

From the Opallinoc News Bureau:

Dateline Dunhill - Former Pixie Colony
The conversion of the former Pixie Colony in Dunhill to a fortified
redoubt for the Uruk'hai is finally complete. Supplies and weaponry
have been well stocked such that it can withstand a siege for a year.
Security patrols cover the perimeter watching for 'prying eyes'.

Dateline Darkhaven - Town Crier Announcements
Darkhaven's Town Crier has been filling the streets with his melodic
voice about the discovery of Winterlight Island. The location of this
new land is rumored to be in the Sea of Sorrows. Volstagg the Catacomb
Dweller is looking for adventurers to seek the wonders of the new land.

Dateline Kingdon of Juargan - The Mines
Some time ago Volstagg the Catacomb Dweller found a sealed mine entrance
along the Northern Trade Route. He went back to explore this find further
and encounterd a few dwarves entering the mine shaft. Following then down,
Volstagg found himself in the Kingdom of Juargan. This was a much faster
route to the area than was previously known. Wandering around, taking note
of various activities, he came to the conclusion mining activity had
increased. Further excavation for ores and or gems is being looked at.


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 Page 13   \/    Khazad Nation News - Stoneheft  

Precious metals are getting rarer, according to all rumours that are coming my
way. With the apparent completion of all gold and silver ore extraction from
the rough terrain along the escarpment over the Forest of Tears, mining may be
returning to the proper realm, below the surface where it becomes our game.
We know for a fact that Juargan's mines are still rich in these ores and our
people are welcome to share the wealth so long as we're willing to share the
responsibility of cleaning up the duergar infestation.

In Edel, the rat population is still growing. please remember to kill any rats
you see before all of the food storages are spoiled.


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 Page 14   \/    Rukhas'Dul Nation News - Vokith  

Hard country gives birth to hearty people. This statement holds true for
the Rukhas'Dul of Mount Krozloy, who work the dry earth and solid rock of
their mountain home, the valleys that surround it, and the forests and
peaks beyond.
Lumber mills reopen, the thunderous crash of trees splitting the midnight
skies around the Rukhas homeland. The mines, too, find renewed activity,
and the sound of metal chiselling away at hard stone can be heard late
into the night.
Even the barracks, which had been burned to the ground during the Rukhas
revolutions against Vermicio's Doom Pixie regime, had been rebuilt and now
were alive again with trainees for the reforming Rukhas'Dul military.
Vokith Drah'zi, High Chieftain of the Rukhas'dul, oversaw this all through
tired and sunken grey eyes. On his desk sat a rolled-up piece of elfskin
parchment, the writing on it a clear red: shaman's blood. The Chieftain was
not displeased with what he had read; at least half of it was good news.
But the other half... that would be a tough pill for his people to swallow.
It would require a complete rewriting of the Rukhas'Dul histories, to reflect
this one, significant change. CRY15


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 Page 15   \/    Rukhas'Dul Nation News - Vokith  

The greyskin stood on his balcony, overlooking the valley before the mountain.
For the first time in millenia, tans and greens and greys could be seen
working together on projects varying from mining and lumberjacking to
soldiering and construction.
Drah'zi had his legacy. Now he had to prepare the nation for its own.
It would not be an easy task.
[OOC]: The Rukhas'Dul Nation is presently in a state of reconstruction
following the destruction reaped on it by Kragash's genocidal mania and
Vermicio's tyrannical regime. Any and all who wish to become involved in
the future of the Nation, ICly, are invited to come and make their voice
heard at the Local Scrawl, in our hometown.
There is a wealth of positions available on the Nation's council. Please
contact Vokith for details.


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 Page 16   \/    Aerandir Nation News - Ashandra  

Our quest details are nearly finalized! March 27th, starting at 5pm site
time we will begin playing a little game.
If you wish, you may speak to me at any time before that day and we will make
a character for you, this will not require you to make an actual new character
again, you will simply be playing as someone else. You will possibly have a
few advantages starting before the others, but this is not always a good thing
in Paranoia.

Anyone else, will be given characters at the start of the night, and any other
characters as needed.

Now for the important things, rewards for playing! Every player will recieve 
1 million gold! That's right, for simply joining in, you get money. Larger
rewards will go to those that survive the night, those that amuse the players,
also those that just amuse me. I will warn you now, rewards will be given and
taken away rather arbitrarily, but that has always been part of the fun.
Other rewards may or may not be given out as well, you won't know unless you
play. So contact me and let's get this going!


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 Page 17   \/    February CoD Results - Annale  

Teeheehee!  Thanks to everyone who submitted their word lists!  I definitely
enjoyed the completed madlibs!  You can enjoy them too on the next couple of

Congratulations to the people who made me laugh the most!  Err, I mean,
congratulations to the randomly selected people:

Akacia, Brandal, and Lilcal!

Please contact Falennt for your prizes!


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 Page 18   \/    February CoD Results - Annale 

Gravlock's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your frayed daughter.  I would like to ask her for her
spleen in marriage.  She is my idea of an invasive Rambo. She is the 
only pogo-stick I have ever loved.  We would like to get danced in 
autumn. Hopefully the lightning will cooperate on the day we choose.  
Mr. PeeWee Herman please allow me to marry Ghengis Kahn.

Brandal's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your frumpy daughter.  I would like to ask her for her
ankle in marriage.  She is my idea of an inscrutable Akael. She is the 
only ouija board I have ever loved.  We would like to get spelunked in 
spring. Hopefully the clogs will cooperate on the day we choose.  
Mr. Destre please allow me to marry Romani.


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 Page 19   \/    February CoD Results - Annale

Brendy's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your bony daughter.  I would like to ask her for her
knuckles in marriage.  She is my idea of a painful Mary. She is the 
only grandmaster I have ever loved.  We would like to get molested
in summer. Hopefully the closet will cooperate on the day we choose. 
Mr. Johnny please allow me to marry Mary.

Reodan's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your repugnant daughter.  I would like to ask her for 
her duodenum in marriage.  She is my idea of an enthralling Chewbacca. 
She is the only steeple I have ever loved.  We would like to get
undulated in autumn. Hopefully the planetoid will cooperate on the 
day we choose.  Mr. Charles Darwin please allow me to marry Miyamoto 
Musashi .


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 Page 20   \/    February CoD Results - Annale 

Lilcal's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your wicked daughter.  I would like to ask her for 
her fallopian tube in marriage.  She is my idea of an long Brad Pitt. 
She is the only principal I have ever loved.  We would like to get
spanked in summer. Hopefully the priest will cooperate on the 
day we choose.  Mr. Simon Cowell please allow me to marry Judge Judy.

Akacia's Madlib Submission:

I am in love with your glamorous daughter.  I would like to ask her for 
her pinky finger in marriage.  She is my idea of an smelly Gonnil. 
She is the only mockingbird I have ever loved.  We would like to get
frolicked in spring. Hopefully the rosebud will cooperate on the 
day we choose.  Mr. Stoneheft please allow me to marry Ceirana.


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 Page 21   \/    April CoD Quest - Annale 

So, I enjoyed the madlibs so much, I'm going to run another one!  Once
again, in a mudmail submit your word choices in proper order.  The next 
month I will publish the story with each submission's words inputted.  
Submissions must meet RoD's guidelines of appropriateness for content.  
Let's hope for lots of laughs!  Three entries will be chosen at random to 
be this months' winners!  (Randomness will be affected by how much I laugh :P)

Good luck!

Word list:
1. Adjective
2. Person
3. Animal
4. Plural noun
5. Another plural noun
6. Noun
7. Verb
8. Noun
9. Animal
10. Adjective
11. Adjective


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 Page 22   \/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population

The age of MUDs is not over, but it is no longer golden. MUDs around the world
are suffering population declines, but some still manage to keep a healthy
population and still bring in new players every day. Realms of Despair is
still getting its share of new players but the fact is the game just isn't as
popular as it used to be. While many players have voiced opinions over the
years of their own ways in which the MUD's population could be improved, never
has an idea so inspired - I dare say genius - come to the attention of the
Realms residents. The time for waiting is over. I present to you a guaranteed
way to make RoD the number one MUD, and quite possibly resurrect the Golden
Age of MUDding.
Three new races. That's all it will take. Three new races and maybe a little
viral advertising - because hey, everyone is doing it nowadays, including Sony.
Well, until they got caught - idiots.


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 Page 23   \/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population

First, The Kitarn
The Kitarn are a sub-race of humans who appear to be half-cat. The Kitarn walk
and talk like humans but exhibit many of the characteristics of cats. They are
exceedingly affectionate - but only if their target has something they want.
They possess the ears of cats as well as their tails and many wear prosthetic
claws to enable them to climb and scratch like their cat brethren. Their
senses of smell, sight, and hearing are beyond that of humans but they lack
the human ability to think logically and rationally, often resulting in Kitarn
children being killed or injured in dangerous activities. For this reason
their society is often very closed off to protect their youth and only those
with a taste for adventure (and birds) will leave the villages.
It remains a mystery as to the exact nature of the fusing of human and cat
genetics, but many believe a wizard to be responsible. Their cat markings can
resemble most any type of cat, from jungle prowlers to simple domesticated
calicos. Their temperament is just as varied; some are natural hunters while
others are very lazy.
Kitarn possess the natural ability to see in the dark. Their catlike reflexes
give them a natural bonus to dexterity and they do not take damage from
falling. They are, however, susceptible to water-based attacks and will not
enter areas with excessive amounts of water. They suffer a penalty to charisma
and hitroll when they are in rainy weather.

Kitarn are quite versatile but have not mastered the ways of magic. They can
choose the following classes:
      Thief Warrior Vampire Ranger Paladin Fathomer Bladesinger

Kitarn gain experience on a scale of normal rate * 1.02


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 Page 24   \/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population

Second, The Lapinians
The peaceful Lapinians are the second of three sub-races of humans created by
the mysterious wizard. They do not believe in combat except when absolutely
necessary and as such cannot be found filling the roles of aggressive classes.
Lapinians possess ears like rabbits as well as large teeth and an unusual
desire to consume carrots and other roots. They are generally very quiet and
love to stay within the confines of their forests and meadows. 
Lapinians tend to avoid contact with the other races, humans included, though
they have been known to make exceptions for trolls half-trolls. While nobody
truly understands the reason why Lapinians find trolls tolerable it seems an
interesting alliance. The trolls do not view Lapinians as food, but rather
equals, and can often be found protecting the Lapinians from larger, predatory
Lapinians have a sense of hearing that is above and beyond that of any other
race. For this reason they can detect both sneak and hide from even the most
dexterous creatures. Although they can hear invisible creatures they cannot
see them, which often causes great confusion and fear. In the presence of an
invisible creature they gain increased movement speed and will move in two
directions at once for a short time. Lapinians prefer the forest and meadows,
and fear cities. They will enter a city, though reluctantly, and their
constitution will suffer greatly until they return to the forest. Finally,
Lapinians possess an improved hide ability which burrows them underground and
protects them from even the detect hidden spell. A crafty ogre or orc looking
for a meal can dig where he believes a Lapinian to be hiding to find his snack.
Lapinians, being mostly pacifist, can choose the following classes:
      Cleric Druid Mage (Paths of Balance, Countermagick, Defense, and the 
      Quill only)

Lapinians who choose the path of the Druid cannot use the spell "Abrar

Lapinians gain experience at a scale of normal rate * 1.10


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 Page 25   \/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population

Third, the Equestrimen
The Equestrimen are a mysterious sub-race of humans who do everything in their
power to avoid the common races. It's not that they fear other races, but
rather they see themselves as an evolutionary step the rest of the races have
not yet reached, and therefore they are unworthy. Equestrimen are incredibly
proud of their heritage, even if it was simply the whim of a wizard. They have
been known to interact with the most human of the common races, mostly just
humans and half-elves. They find particular interest in the Lizardmen, and
some claim to have found several thriving Lizardmen settlements, suggesting
they are not actually dead but rather building up their numbers out of the
sight of the common races.
Although they are bipedal, Equestrimen can use their arms as additional legs
when they need to quickly across long distances. They have elongated necks and
possess high strength and constitution. Equestrimen are not immune to backstab
and circle, but unprepared thieves will find themselves the victims of vicious
kicks from the startled creature. Equestrimen cannot mount creatures, but can
be mounted by humans and half-elves when they enter their running stance.
Equestrimen fight better with no weapons equipped and receive a bonus to
damage roll when they are weaponless. Equestrimen Warriors and Barbarians gain
a bonus to their Bash and Stun skills, while Rangers and Bladesingers can use
their blade-specific abilities with no weapons equipped.

Equestrimen are strong and capable fighters. They can follow the following
     Warrior Ranger Bladesinger Barbarian
Equestrimen gain experience at a scale of normal rate * 0.85


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 Page 26   \/   Matanza's Guide to Achieving an Overwhelming Population
Now the question you're all asking. Why animals? More specifically, WHY
FURRIES? The answer is simple. If you look at the history of online gaming,
one community has lasted longer than any other: the furries. Once upon a time
the majority of furries were only found in Furcadia and Newgrounds Flash
animations but many have migrated to nearly any game that supports their cause
(either directly or indirectly). 

Furcadia is still highly popular, with over 1600 players online at the time 
of this writing (and I made the sacrifice of visiting that website for your 
reading pleasure). Second Life has seen their furry population become one of 
the most popular and vocal populations in the game since its creation. Final 
Fantasy XI was released several years ago and their race the Mithra enabled 
not only furries but also anime fans the ability to play a catgirl who could 
cast magic spells. Final Fantasy XI was the number one MMO in the world until 
World of Warcraft pushed it to number 2. Finally, Champions Online saw an 
influx of furry superheroes during its early months. Citizens of Millennium 
City still report sightings of characters like Mr. Foxtastic saving their 
friends from fires and muggings.
If Realms of Despair supported the furry movement by introducing these new
races and followed it up with some careful keywording on the website and
forums, with a little viral advertising in the furry communities, we would
find ourselves with many new furry players. Give them hometowns full of the
sort of things furries like and let them boost our player numbers. Once the
number of players on the MUD increases with the help of furries we will take
the number one spot away from those cheaters on TopMUDSites. Once we have our
number one MUD spot secured we will see a further influx of players who want
to play the number one MUD on the internet.
There is no way this idea could possibly backfire. It is perfect. Thanks,


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 Page 27   \/    Drinking Mudders... - Leala 

Drinking mudders are advised to wear seatbelts so they do not fall from their
This has been a public service announcement by the Immortals of RoD. Oh, and
Vote RoD:
Romani has restored you.
Hurley: But what if they like to fall?
Romani: Ask Beleth
Romani: *giggling here*
Leala: death by carpet!
Romani: chortles
Hurley: Beleth, have you been getting in to the sauce?


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 Page 28   \/    Quotes out of Context - Romani & Annale 

Solcent ordertalks 'so i feel less special when i typo'

Kono chats 'my typo was better'

Ceirana> don't make me brussel your sprouts!

Pasquale: In your peaceful trance, you collect welfare from the government.
Rakasha: i prefer:   In your peaceful trance, you collect unemployment from
the state.

Giovanna:Sometimes a good pillow helps you sleep...forever.

Hubris tells you 'my m-brain just had an image of RoD reunion 50!'
Hubris tells you 'well, for one thing we'd all be their by remote projection..
. so no mosquitoes.  and we'd all have done body alteration to look like our
main chars ;^)'
You tell Hubris 'I like it!'

Girbag chats 'ooo janklin's secret'
Stoneheft chats 'Is that like Victoria's secret, but for dwarves?'

Beleth ordertalks 'know the enemy, be the enemy *evil*'


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 Page 29   \/    Random Immortal Wisdom - Romani 

Ceirana> don't make me brussel your sprouts!
Loril> I think people are born more clever than they become. :)


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 Page 30   \/    Odd & Amusing Titles - Romani & Annale

Avatar          Lilbrim.        (         
Avatar          Braz.            \        
Avatar          Bruz.             )       
Avatar          Brax.        ##========>  
Avatar          Brex.             )       
Avatar          Brox.            /        
Avatar          Brux.           (         

Belkira is curious to know who else wants to play the title game.
Leala's title pulled the same stunt as Belkira's title.


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 Page 31   \/    AV Antics - Romani 

Nakor: who's on first
Ashandra: That's what I'm asking.
Nakor: yes
Nakor: (third base)
Nakor: what's the name of the man on first?
Nakor: who.
Nakor: then name of the man on first base
Nakor: who.
Nakor: Who's the man on first base?
Nakor: yes
Bolotomus: what is on second
Nakor: (third base)
Romani: I don't know is third base
Pexacal: All I want to know is.. What's the man's name that plays first base?
Nakor: no what's the name of the man on second
Pexacal: Who is?
Nakor: what
Pexacal: What I want to know.. is when the man that plays first base picks 
up his paycheck.. who gets it?
Nakor: absolutely
Calaraje: sometimes his wife picks it up
Pexacal: who's wife?
Pasquale: When he finishes his disseration, and receives a diploma, what 
will it name him as?
Ichigo: Who.
Pasquale: What?
Pasquale: But he will have a Ph.D. What will people call him?
Ichigo: Doctor
Pasquale: Doctor what?
Hurley: Doctor who?
Pasquale: ARGH


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 32   \/    Shop with Guts'n'Glory! 

If you are in need of some equipment at fair prices, look no further than
NW of DH[]!  Kaleo and Lilkal are ready to help you with your equipment

With new items available on these bots, and constant restocking, Kaleo and
Lilkal can save you time and gold!  

Just type whois kaleo or whois lilkal for a stock and price listing and
find them NW of DH[]!


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 33   \/    Advertise with the Cry! 

Advertise with the Cry of Despair!

Do you own a bot?  
Are you looking to sell a few things and make a little gold?
The Cry of Despair is a great place to advertise your wares!  
Let people know where you park your sellbots, afterall, people need to know 
where you are in order for you to get their gold!

Are you looking to buy something? Place an advertisement in the Cry! 
Who knows, maybe someone is looking to sell what you are looking to buy!

Just write up a little advertisement and mudmail it to Annale, or post 
it on the CoD Public board located e,s,3u,w from Darkhaven Square and 
your advertisement will be published in the next issue!


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 34   \/    CoD Readers Reward 

   ___   ,'    \_________________________________________
  /   /-/   dP  /  Cry of Despair           ////////////  ''--..._
  \___\-\  dP   \    Readers Reward         \\\\\\\\\\\\  __..--'

The staff at the CoD would like to thank you, the readers for your support,
input, and for reading each month!  For this reason, we have introduced 
The Cry of Despair Readers Reward!.

Each month, 10 million gold coins will be made available to one lucky 

How do you qualify?  Just write to us at the Cry of Despair!  Comprehensive
'Letters to the Editor', well-written feedback letters to an article, or 
detailed suggestion letters are all qualifying entries!

A minimum of ten entries must be received in order for the draw to be 
opened that month.  If 10 entries are not received, the money is pooled 
and added to the next issue's draw.  The entries will also be saved for the 
next draw.  If, after ten issues there have not been enough submissions, the 
pot will be emptied and restarted.

Who can submit? Why you, our loyal readers!  Only one submission per 
draw. Any person caught submitting multiple entries on alts will be 
disqualified from the draw. CoD Staff, Immortals, and alts are not 
permitted to enter the draw.

How do I submit? Mudmail your Letter to the Editor, feedback letter, or
letter of suggestion to Annale or Falennt or post your letter on the CoD
public board at e,s,u,u,u,w from DH[].

Submissions will be published in the same issue as the draw.

This month's gold pool is worth: 50 Million Gold Coins!


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 35   \/    Reunion Logo Contest 

In celebration of the 16th Anniversary of the Realms of Despair Reunion, the
Immortals are holding a contest to design a logo for the event!
Your design may be anything that includes the words "16th Anniversary Reunion"
and fits the celebratory theme. The deadline for this contest is the 1st of
June, and all entries should be e-mailed to Romani at
The Herald Assembly will organize the judging of the entries, and the winner
will be presented with a set of Reunion souvenirs with their logo on it thanks
to Thoric, and awarded with a glory prize.
You may enter this contest even if you are not attending the reunion. If you
have any questions, feel free to address them to the Herald Assembly. 
Remember that the deadline is the 1st of June, and enjoy!
-The Immortals


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 36   \/    Suggestion Box 

	         H    H      A      PPPPPP  PPPPPP  Y   Y
	         H    H     A A     P    P  P    P   Y Y
	         HHHHHH    A   A    PPPPPP  PPPPPP    Y
	         H    H   AAAAAAA   P       P         Y
	         H    H  A       A  P       P         Y

                              ___     ___
                          _={::(_>[_]<_ _="" .d="" i="" ii="" q="" x="X=X=X=x" pxoxoxoxq="" eeeeee="" a="" ssssss="" ttttt="" rrrrrr="" e="" s="" t="" r="" eee="" rrrrr="" aaaaaaa="" _________________________________________________________="">  
 Page 37   \/    Letter from the Editor 

Happy Easter and other Spring related things!

I want to say thank you to everyone submitting funny quotes and those 
hilarious madlibs! I can't wait for the next set of madlibs!

So much going on this month in the news!  Take a moment and take a look at
the new clipboards, or the new areas! I hear they are really intriguing!

Don't forget to vote for RoD on TMS: 

As always, I'd like to remind everyone that the deadline for article 
submissions is the 25th of the month.  The next CoD will be published
in June. So the next deadline is May 25th!

Thanks for reading,
Annale Firestorm  


 _         )( _________________________________________________________  
 Page 38   \/    Write for the Cry! 

Write for the Cry!

Currently the Immortal Sponsors are looking for more and more writers.
If you are interested then please write a short note saying why you would 
like the position.  Please include your normal online times so that the 
immortals can interview you. 

We also welcome freelance editors. Do contact Falennt or Annale for 
more information.

We are also looking for more staff writers and freelancers. If you 
would like to earn some income through writing just about anything, feel 
free to speak with Falennt regarding your interest.

Our Current Payment Rates

Editor-in-Chief : 60 million gold per issue edited
Staff Writers   : 4 million gold per page submitted.

Regular freelancers  : 3 million gold per page submitted.
Organization Writers : 2 million gold per page submitted.

The Cry of Despair welcome all newbie and avatar writers alike. If 
your passion is writing, do contact Falennt through mudmail or a tell.

Thank you in advance for your interest. 

N.B.: Staff Writer : Cry of Despair Staff, Regular Submissions required.
      Freelancer   : Article submission not on regular basis, not required  
                     to be on the Cry of Despair staff list.