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Pixie News: we are not for dinner; Genge: Fathomers

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      |     Immortal Sponsors- Alysira/Korim        Editor- Genge         |
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|   From the Editor                 - Editor: Genge                           |
|     Editor's Note                                                           |
|     Concerning Aragon                                                       |
|                                                                             |
|   News From Around The Realms     - Sub-Editor: Aslan                       |
|     Nations' News:                                                          |
|       Khzad                         - via Romani                            |
|       Hobbit                        - via Romani                            |
|       Pixie                         - via Romani                            |
|       Uruk'hai                      - via Romani                            |
|       Il'Kahn                       - via Romani                            |
|       Aerandir                      - via Romani                            |
|     Guild of Clerics                - via Aslan                             |
|                                                                             |
|   Quests, Games And Humour        - Sub-Editor: Babui                       |
|     From the Beautiful People       - by Anonymous                          |
|     Imm The Lounge '05              - by Goomra                             |
|     Titles!                         - via Mossweaver                        |
|     Humor Submissions               - by Babui                              |
|     Wedding Congratulations         - by Babui                              |
|     Random Messages                 - by Babui                              |
|     Cry of Despair Quest            - by Alysira                            |
|                                                                             |
|   PKill                           - Sub-Editor: Vortok                      |
|     PKill News                      - by Vortok                             |
|     PKill Conclave News             - by Vortok                             |
|                                                                             |
|   RoD Knowledge And Information   - Sub-Editor: Genge                       |
|     A Guide To Fathomers            - by Genge                              |
|     The 100th Issue of the CoD      - by Alysira                            |
|                                                                             |

| Editor's Note                                                   By: Genge |

Hi. I'm tired. Read the pages about Aragon, and remember to vote.
   - Genge

|                                                                           |

| From the Editor -> Plagiarism and Prizes                         By: Genge |

 As I am sure you have noticed, the Roleplaying section is absent from the CoD 
this month. This is primarily because of two factors: First of all, Aragon did 
not post anything the board this month, and everything but Nations' news 
that is for his section is mudmailed to him to be posted on the board. The 
second reason is that Aragon has been removed from the CoD, for plagiarizing 
and then proceeding to lie about it. Plagiarism shall not be tolerated in the
CoD, and it shall be dealt with swiftly after being discovered.
 I am not unreasonable - since, at the time, the CoD did not have a codified 
policy on plagiarism, I gave him a chance to apologize. Unfortunately, he has
chosen not to. I can see no alternative to removing him from the CoD entirely.
 What does this mean for you? Well, two opportunities arise from this for the
readers. First of all, this means that there is a position open on the CoD 
staff for someone who cares about roleplaying. Normally, I would promote 
someone currently on staff, but I cannot identify any active staff members who
are active roleplayers or poets. If you are interested in the position, send me
a tell or mudmail about it. As a department head, you would get paid more than
a regular staff member. If you don't want responsibility, the CoD is currently
hiring general staff as well.
 The second opportunity that arises is a contest, which I shall discuss on the
next page.

 Since we didn't have any poetry in the CoD this month, I am holding a poetry
contest. Here are the rules:
 - Send in up to three (3) original poems about plagiarism. You only have to
   send in one poem to qualify, but if you want to hedge your bets you can send
   in more until you reach the three poem limit.
 - Poems may be of any style, including short poems such as limericks, haiku,
   tanka, senryu, cinquain, diamante, and acrostic, or more complex such as 
   ballads, concrete, or canzone.
 - The winning poem shall be selected by myself, and based on quality. Shorter
   poems are not automatically excluded, as it is possible to convey meaning in
   an extremely elegant way using only a few words. On the same token, longer 
   poems are not automatically given more points, since there is a difference
   between being gracefully verbose and spewing forth an endless stream of 
   banal incarnate.
 - All entries must be mudmailed to my alt Genj. Entries sent anywhere else 
   shall not be recognized.
 - The prizes will vary depending on how good the entries are. It might be 
   anything from gold, to Fort eq, to a character.
 - Participation alone is not rewarded. You must win to receive anything.
 - All entries must be received on or before the 29th of September.

|                                                                             |

| Roleplay -> News -> KHAZAD                                      Via: Romani |

To the Dwarves beyond the Reach,

   The Reach says a sad farewell to our former Athane Alinaryth and our
former Thane Ryals. They have decided to take long and well deserved vacations
and will both be missed sorely.

   The renovations on the buildings in the Reach is continuing steadily, though
there is still much work to be done. Mbwana Lifewind is still, for some reason,
camped out in the throne room.

   And again, the Khazad welcomes and invites all dwarves who wish to join the
Nation to make their way to Tagetarle's Ghost, who will kindly send you to
the Reach without even charging you a fee.
Jerald, Nation Leader


My beloved Hobbits,
It concerns me that some of you seem frightened by those taller then you.
Let me remind you that we are Hobbits, we are not half of anything and
it is only the ignorant that call of halflings. Perhaps they are jealous,
especially the male races whose footprints are not as large as ours so
they are not so well endowed. Still we attempt to be kind to everyone.
Though we have ample military supplies, a secret army base and another
place to grow our crops we must all rejoice in the fact that the great
Deity Lopuis has blessed our underground gardens, homes and supplies
with all that we need.
         Stand proud! Or sit proud! While you smoke your tobacco,
ours is not a race enslaved by others but only gently guided by your loving
and ever wise Thain.
         Some of you are concerned that your Thain is not married. Let this 
worry you no more. With so many handsome hobbits it is just to hard to choose.
However because of the insistence of some I am throwing a Birthday Ball for my
1500th birthday. All hobbits are invited though this is not an event for 
children. We shall dance and make merry, there will be plenty of good food and 
drinks and a small gift for each of you. I have taken the liberty of inviting 
other nations to this ball, which is to be held on the 19th of August to show 
all of you that we have no reason to fear. The Ball will be held on top of the 
  May the hair on your feet grow long and beautiful,
         Sincerely Zasperlyn, Leader of the Hobbit Nation


This is PNN, your source for Pixie News:

Time for 'Hard Candy' with Periwinkle Snapdragon:

Pixies: we are not for dinner.

Why do other races like to eat us?  The trolls like to fry our wings. It 
is rumored that the githyanki bake pixies in pies. Why do we tolerate this!

I think more should be done to prevent us from becoming say Troll! Let's throw 
fruit and various kinds of meat at it! food. How do we keep getting caught? 
We can fly and trolls cannot. It should be easy to evade these trolls. 
Kosaim, Nation Leader
I think more should be done to discourage pixie eating, such as dropping heavy 
rocks on trolls’ heads. Maybe we can build some sort of troll trap. 
We are pixies, we are not food. If we appear weak, even the elves might think 
of us as food! We should not stand for this!

I am Periwinkle Snapdragon, and this is 'Hard Candy'
           Editor's note: No, pixies really are food. Sorry for the confusion.


From the Opallinoc News Bureau: 
* Dateline Mithril Hall - Oops, a messerschmidt happened:
Names will not be mentioned. The calamity that occurred in Mithril Hall 
can only be described as "Oh My God NOOOooo!!!" Seems that a certain famed 
member of the Uruk'hai got overconfident during a plundering pass through 
the Hall. While cleaning up the mess he made, sacrificing corpses, equipment, 
remnants, etc., He apparently forgot he was disarmed and sacrificed his NASR!!!
For shame and he should have know that 'sac c' is unhealthy from all the
DCOLs that he has lost that way. Your reporter has only one further comment,
Serves ya right big daddy!" Editor's note: Hah. Loser.

* Dateline Darkhaven - Kittany gives birth: 
With great cheers and celebration, the Uruk'hai congratulate Kittany on the
birth of her little half-ogre. 

* Dateline Darkhaven - Halfling Negotiations:
Klaatu, the benevolent, finally met with Zasperlyn to discuss negotiations and
trade matters. Lanthanos has been a force behind the scenes in dealings with
the halflings. The Uruk'hai are offering a supply of there prime smokeable
tuft of sweet grass in exchange for items yet to be determined. Lanthanos is
continuing further talks. -- Klaatu, Half-Ogre Nation Leader


  Happenings Within Krozloy
  Fall comes at last to the mountain as the forests turn from shades
of green to various vibrant hues. Leaves of yellow, orange, and flaming
red stain the Earth with their colors. The loggers continue their
endless work to supply the ever-burning fires of Krozloy with wood,
and the construction industry with product to continue building.
  The military industry is once again thriving, a staggering number
of recruits (somewhere in the midst of three-thousand) has joined the
fold. Rumors are spreading that the Il'Khan military is in need of a new
General as the venerable Thrakk Ironblood has finally died.
  The Il'Khan mining troops have finally found a gold vein which they
intend to tap. Presently it is guarded by some sort of substance which
is both toxic to inhale and volatile when sparks are flying. Ways to
clear the mines of this substance are constantly being plotted.

 -The military is still seeking recruits, report to the barracks if
 -Any able-bodied Il'Khan capable of heavy lifting are needed in the
 northwest construction site.
 -The Lesser Chieftain has lost his trusty blade, Gracca, in the darker
  regions of the lower caves of Krozloy. A reward of twenty thousand
  gold pieces is being offered for its prompt return.
 -Executions will not be held in Krozloy proper this month, rather in
  the valley square. All residing within the valley are expected to
 -Near the end of the month there shall be a feast in the great hall
  of Krozloy. Boar and turkey meat will be offered, along with some of
  Krozloy's finest farm produce and ales.
That is the news for this month. Until the next, may your swords be
keen and your body stout. Carnak, Nation Leader


From the quill of Chronicler Remonaai S. Nikkhet
As I write, a violent summer's storm has battered the reefs of Mathlaan and 
destroyed a key stretch used to moor the trading ships incoming from the 
other Kingdoms. And the storm has not ceased its merciless bullying of the 
coast, tossing waves and churning the currents. The Ivory Tower still stands 
strong, her walls buffeted constantly by a horrendous gale and I wonder if 
an odd magic has webbed itself around the seemingly fragile Tower and keeping 
her upright in this fearsome disaster unleashed by Gaiar.

Last month, a ship has wrecked itself off an unnamed coast near the Obsidian 
Teeth, a ship carrying artifacts and a multitude of treasure and trinkets. 
The owner killed himself a night later upon hearing the loss of her vessel. 
The villagers living around the Obsidian Teeth quickly christened the shore 
Treasure Beach and hunted about the sand, picking up the washed up valuables. 
These were quickly sold to collectors and mages for large sums and some 
apprentices from the Conservatory led by our Speaker himself were seen 
purchasing some of these as well.  I do wonder why he is encouraging such 
illicit trading amongst those he lead and I am quite questionable of where his 
morality lies.

Did I write too that these things were probably cursed? I suppose not. Not 
just sea elves bought them. Other races came to Treasure Beach, eager 
for a share of the spoils. A group of dwarves, a few richly dressed elves and 
when dusk settled, a hooded drow appeared, asking for a sword and 
a silver lantern. 
Falennt, Nation Leader

|                                                                           |

| News -> Guild and Order News -> Guild of Clerics               Via: Aslan |

This past month has been busy in the guild of clerics, with several
experimental runs taking place as well as several new members.
The guild would like to congratulate Hairu, Korleric, and Torianne for
recently becoming full members.
We'd also like to welcome Cryshania, Daos, and Mirabeau to the guild, and wish
them luck on their probation quests!
If you are interested in joining the guild, or just in getting to know some of
us better, please come and visit us on the Porch at NW, 2W, 2N, E of Darkhaven
Square. Information on applying an questing for the guild is available in the
Clock Chamber, UP from the Porch.

|                                                                           |

| Entertainment -> Misc. -> From the Beautiful People            By: Goomra |

From the Beautiful People:

* Whatever kind of look you were going for - you failed.
* A smiling face is always beautiful, unless the teeth are crooked.
* You have a winning smile. Shame the rest of you is such a loser.
* God must really love ugly people because he created so many of them.
* Love nature. Despite what it did to you.
* If a thing of beauty is a joy for ever, why does ugly last longer?
* Each person's life is a portrait of themselves. Shame you chose finger-
* God made you as ugly as he possibly could, then he must have beaten you
  in the face with a claw hammer.
* You have everything you had twenty years ago - except now it's all lower.
* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. But a bad attitude and
  acne is worse.
* Remember that there is always someone, somewhere in the world, who is
  richer, younger and better-looking than you.

|                                                                           |

| Entertainment -> Misc. -> Imm The Lounge '05                   By: Goomra |

                          - Imm The Lounge '05 -
The realms have many groups of people, a wide diversity of different
communities - orders, guilds, clans, run-groups, social groups. I am
here to put forward a glimpse of one group's future. We are a small group,
more elite than most orders, and we have been here, seemingly, forever.
I present to you this article: Imm The Lounge '05.
I would just like to add that this view is not the view of the CoD, nor
all of the lounge - this is merely an entertaining idea I have been
coming up with then I have been left alone, or when the conversation has
turned to football (or worse, baseball) and I got bored.
The lounge, to my current reckoning, consists of 23 people (past and present)
and as such form quite a large community. The people included, in no particular
order (other than the order I remember them in) consist of: Mischief, Saryk,
Dread, Hammett, Leniso, Gallant, Pansynance, myself, Genge, Alihan, Kate
Jarrok, Tabitha, Chino, Irad, Xardellion, Morgianya, Sealom, Mekir,
Shealkire, DekkatH, Cyril and Vilari (in memorandum). We are, apparently,
the people who "ruin realms" and "destroy everything". Now, I personally
find that a bit harsh - we are not out to topple realms. Instead, we are
experienced players who have got a bit bored and instead have taken
residence in the Lounge to watch the realms from afar, and occasionally
throw rocks at it.

So, where to start. Let me outline the benefits that you, as players,
would receive were we all to imm:

a) We, as a group, know almost everything about realms. Together, we
have over 100,000 YEARS of experience (and that is only from 14 out of
the 23 of us that I could find). We know what's going on.
b) We have more history in the Lounge than most orders combined. We all
have either done silly stuff (getting a guild deleted, for example), but
we have all done quite memorable stuff too.
c) We have seen, quite literally, 100s of wrongdoings (mostly by us), and
so if we were to imm, we would be able to spot them more easily.
d) We are the cause of most silencing (I would like to remove myself from
this point and just say I haven't been silenced for channel abuse), and
as such our imming would reduce channel spam & swearing by almost 100%.
e) Most of us, in some form or another, have leadership experience. Be
it from run groups, orders, guilds, clans, or races.
f) In "HELP HOWTOIMM", we qualify for all of the points. Well, except
tact - but tact can be taught, or indeed employed by some, when necessary.
g) We are a more selective bunch than most orders. If we don't like someone,
they know. Ohhhh they know.
h) Thank to Messrs Cyril and Irad, we have more money than most orders, and
hold a large proportion of Realms overall wealth.

So - these are the qualities and skills we have as a group.

Okay, so I've told you the points in our favour. Now, here are the things
we would like to see in the realms (these are direct quotes from loungers):
* "Punish idiots for being idiots. Yes. That means you"
* "No fat chicks" .. "No Uggos"
* "Boobies"
* "Everyone to stay out of the lounge"
* "Blood fountain in the lounge"
* "We would murder you all while you sleep and sell your organs on the
   black market"
* "Bring back the capitalisation of the 'H' in DekkatH"
* "Boobies"
* "Make Kate Channel-Nazi and give her a hat"
* "We'll make it a crime to be poor" .. "First offense of 'being poor' is
   a siteban" Editor's Note: Wouldn't this mean banning Goomra herself?
* "Porn. We're better looking than you all. We're all pretty"
* "A 'Girls of the Lounge' Calendar which would sell well"
* "A 'Boys of the Lounge" Calendar that would sell even better, worryingly"
* "No fat chicks. Again. This is very important."
* "Improper spelling/grammar punishable by castration"
* "Families coded in would be a good way to exclude people"
* "A 'Mentally disabled due to lacking genetic variation' flag"
* "A new wear location for genitals"

And here would be our wizlist...
                                Supreme Entity

                              Infinitely Wealthy

                               Eternally Hateful
                                  Genge Alihan
                                 Exalted Gods
                          Shealkire Goomra Kate Irad
                              Assaulted (by) Gods
                                 Groping Gods
                                 Chino Tabitha
                              Jarrok Leniso DekkatH
                            Dread Hammett Xardellion
                               Morgianya Mekir
                                Sealom Gandalf

Retired List...

Saryk  Mischief  Odysseus  Daleth
And now for the councils and respective heads..

Title                    Head
Council of Elders        Gallant
Code Council             Cyril
Pkill Conclave           Chino and Leniso
Quest Council            Pansynance
Neophyte Council         Genge
Newbie Council           Goomra
The Symposium            Shealkire
Herald Assembly          DekkatH

Let's look at this logically - We are a group of people who have played
realms for a long time, and we know what's going on (most of the time,
although it's disputable with Pansynance). We might come across as a
bunch of bitter, twisted people who like nothing more than to try and
break the system, laugh at newbie avs, and make fun of immortals. But
that isn't ALL we've got going for us. Most of us have had leadership
experience in some form or another - we've got two ex-imms, seven ex-
clan leaders, three ex-order leaders, god knows how many ex-nation leaders
and even a few ex-guild leaders.

As a group, we have been in every group that is coded, and we've had a
member in every council. We are very well connected and have a lot of 
people to liaise with. We've also got fantastic up-time. There is a 
lounger on every hour of the day (as some of you know when you think you
can get away with saying stupid things on avchat). And can you imagine 
what would happen if we gave people like Pansynance the opportunity to
run quests (for some reason I imagine large breasts running around 
northern plains suffocating everyone), or if we gave Genge the chance to
bugger around with mechanics of the game (again, images of large breasts
roaming the landscape come into view, but this time with fire and 
brimstone surrounding them). We're a bunch of people who know what we're
doing, and as we don't tend to do much, we put our efforts into something
else. Like making fun of you. Or throwing rocks at ugly people.
Accept us. Accept our 100,000+ years of experience. And ultimately, let
us run your lives because we could do it a damn sight better than you
seem to be managing it. Imm The Lounge '05. Because every hole's a goal.
                                  Editor's note: Not quite EVERY hole.
PS - This is meant as a bit of fun, obviously. If the immortals all decide
to go off on holiday simultaneously for a week and need someone to look
after things, we (of course) would embrace the opportunity. But we're
not really looking to run the realms. I mean, that would be silly.

|                                                                           |

| Entertainment -> Funnybones -> Titles                           By: Babui |

Harrah looks for booty.
Aengil put the bot in the bot-de-bot-de-bot. 
Fune-baba, ...Gufhahahaha?
Ssur Ssurrender Ssurround Ssurge Ssurface Ssurcumcise.
Nannuki DarkRaven:I am a male model, not a male prostitute.
Namyar is Babui's psycho, stalker fanboy  *RC* 
Aarelan the Collector of Navel Lint.
Kraky Flaky.
Pyetta Umm... Look a nickel!
Forgrum'py the unhappy spell bot.
Angelica is on weasel watch !! 
Sfiera, Goddess of Passion and Lightning!! KRAKOW<333!!!
Tausha Friend of Pixies...see a Pixie...squish a Pixie.
Gaanmoki: H3110Z0R IZ WHERE I BE.
Calan scared you so bad he had to pay your dry cleaning.
Garloc Bread with Cheese.
Griak: Holy class inequality batman! Fix the old first!
Juliya: Mortal Wombat.
Leniso Leann Tweeden has a nice butt, trust me i've felt
Gauther was shooting arrows the other day... AND NOTHING.
Sincerity puts the "SIN" in Sincerity.
Qefequami has something to cripple your sister with.
Fafnir the Pollywobbling Paladin.
Belegost Master of the Widgit.
Anakin Skywalker - Runs with the force.
Zyll..Ice Brewed for a Naturally Smooth Taste..
Mauzait. Mo Zay is mozaying along, pardner
Foralanik Ironthumb the possessor of gnomes, f34r!
Tetsuyamkii: Always clean your feet, you may have to eat them.
Fernallia has been PWNED.
Dugan.. I can lift 100 beers over my head !!!
Nariel wishes people weren't so dumb.
Jarrod has a normal name.  Yours is weird.
Gitserdon..i make stuff thats almost dead (11-20%), not dead
Qefequami is a muscular woman clad in heavy armor
Zargon:Why are carrots more orange than oranges?
Ferit the President of the "We hate Garenul club"

|                                                                           |

| Entertainment -> Funnybones -> Submissions                      By: Babui |

Is there some log, bio, title, events, random personal thoughts...or even
astrological or food stuff things you would like to share!? ANYTHING really...
Why not share your logs/thoughts/anything with the entire mud community?! Have
your logs and articles published on the CRY, so we all can know more new
random stuff or laugh at cute little silly peoples and events =P HAR...I mean.
...We can all be entertained in a nice polite fashion... *nod self*...

Oh oh! Or some ascii drawing you did you might want to share! ANYTHING!
Send me your article/log/note/whatever via mudmail! Yay! Send your mudmails to
Babui now! =D
         .-. .-.       .-. .-.
        (   Y   )     (   Y   )
         `|   |`       `|   |`
          | 00|_       _|00 |
          |  ,__)     (__,  |
          |,_|           L_,|
          ||               ||
          | \_,         ,_/ |
          |   |         |   |
          |   |         |   |
        (`  A  `)     (`  A  `)
         '-' '-'       '-' '-'

|                                                                           |

| Entertainment -> Weddings -> Submissions                        By: Babui |

A friend just got married? Want to congratulate them along with the whole of
You just got married? Want to announce to the whole of realms your love for
each other?
Well, here's the place!
Send me a mudmail with the couples' name, the date of the wedding, and any
comments you would like to make =)
Start NOW by showing you care! Start NOW by showing you are truly happy for
them/yourself! Start NOW by announcing to the world!

______________________-> HaPpY WeDdInG!

         __..._.-.                 On 14 August 2005,
        /.-.   '-.)
        \',       \
         |       o'--D             Zistrosk + Grezelle
         \      /    |
          ;._  _\ '-/
        .'    __ `\`.-"-. .-"-.    exchanged their vows,
      .'    .'  '.|'     '     ',  made Realms go wow...
     /      \     '._,          |
    ;        '-._     \         /  as joyful tears flowed down
   (|           /'-.__/       .'   Grezelle hitched up her gown
    \  __     ,'     '-.   .-'     Zistrosk threw away the frown
     `/  `\.-'|         '.'            
      |    |  '-.                  and rode off into the sunset
      |    '-.   )                 as destiny has set....
       \       )-'

    ` : | | | |:  ||  :     `  :  |  |+|: | : : :|   .        `              .
        ` : | :|  ||  |:  :    `  |  | :| : | : |:   |  .                    :
           .' ':  ||  |:  |  '       ` || | : | |: : |   .  `           .   :.
                  `'  ||  |  ' |   *    ` : | | :| |*|  :   :               :|
          *    *       `  |  : :  |  .      ` ' :| | :| . : :         *   :.||
   +        On 19 August 2005, with a million stars as witness,              
               .`            | |  |  : .:|       ` | || | : |: |          | ||
        '          . Piralato + Chitose   .: .         '| | : :| :    .   |:| 
        *  .                 .    ` *|  || :       `    | | :| | :      |:| |
   .                .    wedded in holy matrimony (RL!)     | || : :     :|||
          .            .   . *    .   .  ` |||.  +         + '| |||  .  ||`
       .             *              .     +:`|!             . ||||  :.||`
   +                      .                ..!|*          . | :`||+ |||`
       .                         +      : |||`        .| :| | | |.| ||`     .
         *     +   '               +  :|| |`     :.+. || || | |:`|| `
                              .      .||` .    ..|| | |: '` `| | |`  +
    .       +++       CONGRATULATIONS! |       !|!: `       :| |
                +         .      .    | .      `|||.:      .||    .      .    `
            '                           `|.   .  `:|||   + ||'     `
    __    +      *                         `'       `'|.    `:
  "'  `---"""----....____,..^---`^``----.,.___          `.    `.  .    ____,.,-
      ___,--'""`---"'   ^  ^ ^        ^       """'---,..___ __,..---""'
  --"'                           ^                         ``--..,__
  Editor's note: I ain't colouring that. Use your imagination.

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| Entertainment -> Random Messages                                By: Babui |

A totally new random article - collected from YOU.
Everyone says that the best way to get something off your mind is to say it
out. Hiding, is bad. =P
Here's a brand new way to say what you want out and remain totally anonymous
if you want!
Send me - Babui, a mudmail of what you want to say with a lvl 2, an unknown
alt, whatever - it will remain anonymous.
With exception to cussing or _really_ offensive material, it will be published
=D However, I won't be replying any mudmails (as who knows if it's some alt
you just made for posting) so you won't know if your message has been accepted
or denied etc.. =(
But all else aside, this is an opportunity for all random quotes, messages or
bio worthy material!
Speak your mind! =D
Send your mudmails now! Whee =D
--Babui d'Mortem--

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| Entertainment -> CoD Quest -> August's Quest Results          By: Alysira |

Last month, I prepared a small Find-A-Word for you all to enjoy. This was
a very popular quest! Many people submitted entries, but only two could be
selected as winners. The two winners are:

                             Goomra and Shaitan!

Please see me for your prizes ASAP! Thanks to everyone else who participated!
The eight deities hidden in the Find-A-Word were, in no particular order:

      LaChte, Bael, Sarane, Kardis, Kalerd, Masefi, Cawyn, Keltas.

Have fun in this month's quest on the next page!

This month, I have prepared a short set of trivia questions for you to
answer. These are rather simple questions, the answers to which can be
found around the Realms. MUDmail your answers to me by the end of the
month, and two winners will be selected at random!

1. Name one weather-oriented deity and the weather they represent.
2. Name all of the paths that a Mage can adhere to.
3. Which cleric spell renders a person resistant to draining attacks?
4. Which druid spell calls upon the spirits of nature to protect the
   druid from all manner of attacks?
5. Name an area in The Mire geo.

Simple, yes? Just MUDmail your answers to me (Alysira) by the end of
September! Please do NOT remove your MUDmails, I will remove them all
at the end of September to allow all people who wish so to participate.

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| PKill -> PKill News                                            By: Vortok |

-  PK takes another turn for the worse, player base down.
-  Artifacts: Art (Catarrh/Feralis/Maleficae), Maq (Excordis)
-  PKC torn down by Rhadamanthus, rebuild in progress
-  PK Geo almost complete, Vortok is slow...

-  Art on vacation, Justin filling in as leader
-  Jess back in pk full time, Cat #2

-  Vortok hands leadership to Pat
     - Tim selected #1, Forrest #2
-  Sid leaves to join Feralis

-  M.Matt passes leadership to Maq
     -Marcus as #1 and Jim as #2
-  Jack (Vladavostok, GoV GM) joins Feralis as Pengwyn

-  Brad passes leadership to Dre
-  Maleficae overall presense is down

|                                                                           |

| PKill -> PKill Conclave News                                   By: Vortok |

PKC has been restructured by Rhadamanthus, again.  The former setup,
though ok, was not affective, and now the council will consist of 1 
Immortal head, 1 mortal head, 4 clan reps, and 1 unclanned "at large" 
member. HELP PKC for more details

Ideas Awaiting PKC Vote:
- Reverting artifacts back to clan leaders

Ideas that have vanished:
- Removing or adjusting poison weapons
- Adjusting charge for barbs in PVP
- Reduce Barbarian suscept magic to 10% for deadlies

Denied by CoE/PKC:
- More clan EQ in circulation
- Exits from Clans to DH
- Deadlies multiplaying to statroll
- Removal of Safe Rooms from DH

Passed CoE, Awaiting Code:
- True sight potions sold in town
- PK GEO almost complete

Updated 31 Aug 2005 @ 5:30pm by Vortok

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| Knowledge -> Classes -> Fathomers -> Introduction               By: Genge |

Yarr. I held an internal CoD poll to determing which class would be
chosen for this section this month, and Fathomers won by three votes. So, this 
month you can read about pirates - and you had better damned well read it, 
because everyone loves pirates... except, of course, ninjas. Fathomers are a 
hybrid class - they are partially magicusers and partially combatants. Their 
spells and spells use both mana and mvs - but only one or the other. RoD's 
pirates are a Rogue genre class, with dexterity as their prime attribute, 
intelligence as their secondary, and constitution as their deficiency. The 
average fathomer base is - in my experience - around 700 hp. None of mine have 
under 700, but I have seen a great many fathomers with 680 bases. The highest 
I have personally leveled was 722, and the lowest was 704. When creating one, 
I suggest you use Half-elf as the race, as this will result in a higher base. 
I'd suggest 13+str/16int/18dex/14+lck. That may be difficult to roll. If you 
are going to be devout, you can drop the str and dex further - but, with 13str,
you will need to use a cinch to max str, so keep that in mind. Leveling a 
fathomer is rather simple. They have an excellent selection of low level 
weapons, can broach doors at level 6, and get their first attack spell at level
10. At 12 comes dodge, Second at 18, Enhaned at 21, Parry at 23, dual at 29, 
third at 36, and fourth at 43. There's really nothing special about leveling 
one - just go to it.

  - Aquaeforme: 10% resist cold/slash, 10% suscept blunt - 300 rounds, 
                  50 mana
  - Glass eye: True sight - 50 mana, 15 rounds
  - Submerge: Aqua breath. Will only work when not underwater. 400 rnds, 37 mvs
  - Windwalk: Float - 150 rounds, 10 mana
  - Mutiny: +1 lck, +3 hr, + 50ac - 15 mana, 70 rounds

  - Isscyll: Drops str, dex, and hr for a few rounds. 15 mana, 24 beats lag.
  - Vindur Gust: Blinding, -200 Max mana, +50 ac - 6 rounds.
  - Seasting: -50 MAX moves, -1 dex - 30 mana, 25 rounds.

  - Fog: Hide/sneak.
  - Isfundere: Room attack.
  - Laesa Tronada: Attack spell that _fills_ target's thirst level.
  - Salinate: Spell that _lowers_ your thirst level.
  - Seasight: Scry.
  - Broach: Opens doors.
  - Pilfer: Steal.
  - Rummage: Search, except it's quicker and costs 5 mana.

Fathomer's combat skills break down as follows:
 - Long blades:   95
 - Short blades:  95
 - Talonous arms: 80
 - Enhanced Dam:  70
 - Second attack: 95
 - Third attack:  65
 - Fourth attack: 20
 - Dodge:         95
 - Parry:         90 
 - Disarm:        75
 - Dual wield:    90

So, where do fathomers excel? Their melee isn't anything special. They don't 
melee as strongly as vampires and have 5% less parry than them. Where's the 
advantage to using a fathomer? It's mostly versatility. Fathomers can be used
effectively for mobs magic hits (via Vindur Gong - which is only 35 mana), or
for mobs which very few things hit at all with feign. It's an excellent skill
to use on a mob that just doesn't want to get hit. Keep in mind that in order
for feign to be its most effective, you'll need to sacrifice DR and HP in 
exchange for mvs. If you plan on using a fathomer in a mostly magical 
capacity, then you can wear mostly the same equipment you would use on a 
thief of the same alignment - except fathomers have a few more choices for 
weapons as they can use long blades or talonous arms. Feign can be used with
any weapontype, and has lag similar to circle. If you were looking at Tronada
Macele, allow me to steer you away from it right now - it has the same lag as
qlippothic with a tonne less damage. It's an underpowered spell, which 
restores a miniscule amount of moves. If you were planning on using it for 
restoring moves after feigning, you're in for an unpleasant shock. So, to 
review: Fathomers aren't as bad as everyone seems to think they are, as long 
as you don't use tronada and equip it right.

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| The 100th Issue of the Cry of Despair                         By: Alysira |

The 100th Issue is only four weeks away.

The staff are working hard to make this the biggest issue ever, but we need
your help.

If you have anything you would like to contribute to the 100th issue,
please contact any staff member ASAP. All entries MUST be received by the
20th of September, the 100th Issue will be posted on the 1st of October
with no exceptions!

Help us celebrate this fantastic magazine by filling it with great stories,
games, articles, or anything else you wish!


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